Ask Gadling: Keeping your romance alive from the road

by Annie Scott on

This week’s question comes from Natasha in West Hollywood, who travels frequently for work.

“I have a personal assistant job that requires me to travel about two-three weekends out of every month. I like the travel, but it’s taking a toll on my relationship with my boyfriend. I know this sounds lame, but if you travel all the time, how are you supposed to have a life? I don’t want to/can’t quit my job for financial reasons. Am I being selfish? He gets really jealous and I don’t blame him, he doesn’t get to go out on the weekends like a normal couple. Should I just accept being alone until I can cut down?“

Gadling: This is a question we totally understand at Gadling, as many of us travel all the time, too. It doesn’t mean we are bad people or any less dedicated to our significant others; it’s just our job — and one we happen to love. Here’s my advice, and though I’ll address this to Natasha, it works for men, too:

1. Communicate.

You will fight about the travel if you don’t talk about it. Hash it out in person. Listen to how he feels, tell him how you feel, and find a place where you and he can both accept the situation. If you have to/want to travel and he doesn’t make peace with it, you’re never going to be a happy couple. Period. It’s also a good idea to set boundaries and/or routines, like how many calls per day (or per week) is appropriate. If the two of you agree, or at least settle on a compromise and both hold up your end of the bargain, your relationship should be able to withstand time apart.

View more Ask Gadling: Travel Advice from an Expert or send your question to ask [at] gadling [dot] com.

2. Lead by example.

What I mean by this, first and foremost, is don’t cheat. It’s good that you didn’t hint at suspicion that he may be playing around with Jesse James’ ex-girlfriends while you’re gone. Trust is really important in a travel-heavy relationship, which in some ways is like a long-distance relationship. What you surely know by now is that there are temptations out there in strange lands, and if you can’t resist, you can’t and shouldn’t expect him to. Assuming that you’re not cheating, follow the golden rule: treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. Miss him, call him from time to time, tell him what you’re up to so he doesn’t worry; just try not to make it sound like too much fun. Let him know that he can do the same; that you’re interested in what he’s doing, too.

3. Make your time at home special.

When you travel a lot, it’s easy to collapse when you get home and only wear sweats for a week. Resist. Make an effort when you’re home. Go out together, do things he likes to do, and do things you like to do, too. Make sure you are always finding ways of getting to know each other better — and not becoming strangers.

4. Gifts.

A postcard from afar lets him know you’re thinking of him. A gift is even better; it makes your arrival at home more fun. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive — just a weird thing from the drugstore or grocery store that you can’t get at home is a fun surprise.

5. Find intimacy.

There are endless lists of ways you can um, “be intimate” with your loved ones online. If that’s not your thing, something like a naughty one-line email or teasing photo can go a long way toward keeping the spark alive. If that still sounds too racy for your tastes, consider a different kind of intimacy: a hand-written, heartfelt love letter is a rare and beautiful thing in this day and age.

6. Be realistic.

If every time you come home you’re having the same fight, if you’re blaming your problems on the travel, if you’re cheating and lying, if you don’t actually care what he’s doing and wish he’d stop calling (and he’s only calling as much as you agreed was okay), you’re doing it wrong. See #1. There is a certain comfort and safety in having someone at home waiting for you. Don’t let that be the reason you stay together, it’s not fair to you — and it’s really not fair to him.

Ask Gadling: How to prepare for traveling without your dog

by Mike Barish on

This week’s question comes from Quincy in Oshkosh, Wisconsin:

“I have always taken my dog, Jasper, on camping trips and road trips. But my girlfriend and I are going to Bermuda for our anniversary and need to leave Jasper home. I’ve never left him behind and don’t really know what to do. How do I make this comfortable for my dog and less stressful for me?”

This is a fairly common dilemma and one that causes nearly every dog owner stress and anxiety. Thankfully, we have a game plan for traveling without your pooch.

View more Ask Gadling: Travel Advice from an Expert or send your question to ask [at] gadling [dot] com.

Gadling: Pet ownership is a wonderful thing. Several of us Gadlingers have dogs, cats or wives – and we all travel – so we can relate to this problem. While leaving your dog behind can be stressful, you can make things easier for everyone (including your dog) by planning well in advance.

Your dog is not your only best friend

The best case scenario is having someone you know and trust dogsit for you. Hopefully, you have a friend or family member who lives close by, knows your dog and can watch him for you. In advance of leaving, spend extra time with your friend and your dog so that they can bond and get used to each other. This will make the transition easier when they are alone together.

If your friend can stay at your place while you are away, even better. Your dog will feel comfortable because he’s in his own home. If having your friend stay at your home is not an option, be sure to bring your dog to your friend’s home a few times before you go away so that it becomes a comfortable space.

Details, details, details

Write down everything that you can think of that will make watching your dog easier. This includes:

  • Your contact information and itinerary
  • When and how much food to feed your dog
  • His walking schedule
  • Any behavioral quirks (he’s scared of the vacuum, he chews shoes, he hates the sound of Lady Gaga’s voice on the radio, etc.)
  • Your vet’s name and contact information
  • Any preexisting medical conditions and instructions on how to deal with them

Boarding

What happens if you are traveling with all of best dogsitting options or no one is available to watch dog? In a pinch, you can find a boarding facility. The upside is that you dog will be staying in a space specifically designed to keep dogs safe and comfortable. The downsides include the cost and potential for illness.

Boarding is never cheap. If it is your only option, seek recommendations from your vet or friends so that you know that it will be money well spent. Visit the kennel before your trip to meet the staff and allow them to interact with your dog. Ask for a tour of their facility to make sure that you are comfortable with the cleanliness. Ask questions, listen to their answers and build a rapport with them.

Creature comforts

Be sure to give your friends (or the boarding facility) some of your dog’s favorite toys, more food than needed in case your return is delayed, the dog’s bed, leash and poop bags. It may also help to leave a shirt or other article of clothing that smells like you. This has been said to comfort dogs in their owners’ absence. For your friend’s sake, refrain from leaving underpants. Your dog shouldn’t be comfortable with that smell anyway.

No matter who is watching your dog, it’s your job to ensure that they have all the supplies that they need. They should not have to go to the pet store to pick up anything unless there is an emergency situation.

Accidents happen

Changes in routine can cause dogs to get anxious. Even the most well-trained dogs will urinate in the house, vomit or chew on things if their owner disappears for a few days. Explain to your friend that you will replace anything that is broken or stained by your dog. Then be sure you actually do so if that happens. Let your friend know how your dog has reacted to stress in the past so that they aren’t caught off guard.

Help your friend prepare their home for your dog’s visit. Spend time assisting them with tidying up, hiding any fragile or treasured items and creating a comfortable and safe space for your dog.

Check in

While you’re away, give your friend a call, shoot them an email or send a text message. Something to let them know that your trip is on schedule. Don’t be a pest and call several times a day, though. Just check in enough to make you comfortable and let them know that you’ll be home soon.

Say thank you

Watching your dog may be a joy for your friend (they get to play with your pup, have a companion and maybe even pick up women) but it is also a burden. The best thank you is a gift from your trip to let them know that you were thinking of their generosity while you were away. Find something that properly thanks them for their efforts in easing your mind and making your dog happy. That means buying them something more substantial than a souvenir spoon. Taking your friend out for dinner after you return is also a wonderful way to say thanks.

Leaving your dog behind will always be somewhat stressful. You can mitigate that stress by properly preparing yourself, your friend and your dog well in advance of your trip. Hope you all come home to wagging tales when you return home.

Ask Gadling: Travel weight gain

by Annie Scott on


Traveling into unknown territory can bring up a lot of questions. We’re here to help. This week’s question comes from Andrew in Long Island, who has a problem that many — if not most — of us have.

“I’m trying to lose weight. I’ve lost 15 pounds since February, but I keep wrecking my progress when I go out of town. I travel once per month for business and also went on a vacation, and every time it’s the same thing. I don’t feel like I’m eating that much.”

Gadling: First of all, congratulations on losing 15 pounds. I’m sorry to hear that travel has been getting in your way, though. Provided that you are not on a special diet and under the close supervision of a doctor, here are some tips that might help:

Don’t eat on the plane.

Airplane food can have a lot of hidden calories, not to mention preservatives. Is it really that great, even in first class? Not great enough to justify eating it. We tend to not even count airplane food as a real “meal.” You’re still going to want to try some local cuisine when you get off the plane, so save your appetite. If the flight is really long (I’m already assuming it’s decently long if they’re serving food at all), try packing sandwiches and fruit so that you have control over what you’re eating. At the very least, grab yourself a small square of dark chocolate or an apple and forgo whatever sugary cake they put on your tray table.

View more Ask Gadling: Travel Advice from an Expert or send your question to ask [at] gadling [dot] com.

Get some exercise.

Exercising can be a great way to see a new city. If you’re on vacation, it’s easy to justify going for long walks; you may not even notice them. Additionally, check out what bike rides, kayak tours, hikes and other active-activities are available. On the other hand, if you’re just in some industrial complex in middle America every other week for meetings, getting out can be a little trickier. Make a commitment to use the hotel gym at least once for every two days you’re out of town, and if the hotel your company uses doesn’t have one, bring it up with your boss and see if they can start using a new one or provide you with a local gym membership while you’re there. Asking for a way to help you stay healthy may seem embarrassing, but it’s not out of the question. Just don’t phrase it like you’re looking for an upgrade.

Don’t “vacation eat.”

We’ve all said it: “I can eat whatever I want, it’s vacation!” or thought: “I might not ever get to eat at this restaurant again, so I’d better have a feast.” Well, if you’re trying to lose weight, it’s not a vacation from that, and whether you’ll ever be at a restaurant again or not, overeating doesn’t make any logical sense. The way to avoid “vacation eating” is to make sure you’ve lined up lots of fun things to do; that way, you don’t find yourself coasting from meal to meal. If there’s nothing planned but breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner, you’ll naturally try and get all you can out of those events, which can include multiple courses and cleaning your plate — neither of which is necessary. Use the same tricks you would at home; ask yourself how hungry you are on a scale of one to ten and order accordingly. Don’t make food the main event of your day or your vacation.

If work for you involves long, multi-course lunches, first of all, congratulations, your job rocks. But really, you don’t have to eat all that much. Keep drinking water, eat more of the salad and less of the potatoes. Don’t clean your plate. These things may seem ineffectual, and on their own, they are; but if you do them as a rule, they can make a big difference.

Keep the drinking under control.

Not that you have a problem or anything. Most of us tend to drink more when we’re away. Whether it’s boredom while alone in a hotel room, work buddies, friends you don’t usually get to see or you’re just plain “vacation drinking,” keep the caloric content of drinks — and the fact that drinking can lead to more eating — in mind. If you’re concerned that someone will give you a hard time if you don’t have a drink in your hand, or that you won’t have as much fun, try just replacing a drink here and there with a plain soda with lime from the bar. It looks like a drink, so you won’t feel (or look) like you’re not participating.

Ask Gadling: How do I extend the benefits of my elite status?

by Grant Martin on

This week’s question comes from Julie in Ann Arbor, Michigan

“This year I have Gold Medallion status on Delta, which I probably won’t ever have again. Are there any good programs or perks that I qualify for now that I won’t in the future and should consider taking advantage of?”

Gadling: The Gold Medallion status that you’ve earned on Delta Airlines is a valuable perk. With it, you’re entitled to a 50% 100% earned mileage bonus on all of your flights, select seating (including bulkhead and exit row seats) and two free checked bags, among other perks, during this year’s travel. You can find a full list of benefits on Delta’s website.

If you earn 50-75k miles this calendar year you’ll be able to retain these perks, while if you fly only 25-50k miles your status will drop to silver. Below the 25k mark, your status will drop to nothing on the 1st of March, 2011. Those two extra months in the beginning of 2011 are rollover months during which you’ll retain your 2010 status (and perks) but against which you’ll earn miles for the 2011/2012 years. So if you don’t earn 25k miles through the end of this year, well, you can try to earn 25k in January and February of 2011 to keep your status active.

But if your status is due to expire irrespective of your travel plans, there is not much you can do to extend your benefits into next year. The best way to take advantage of 2010’s status is to coordinate and travel as much as you can (perhaps at the whim of one of your friends) before February 28th, 2011. In addition to the upgrades and bonuses that you’ll get as a gold, you’ll also be entitled to numerous other benefits including Delta’s new Sky Priority service.

View more Ask Gadling: Travel Advice from an Expert or send your question to ask [at] gadling [dot] com.

One forward reaching benefit that you may want to consider is enrollment in the Delta Sky Clubs. While not as nice as they once were, Sky Clubs provide a pleasant oasis from the normal airport hubbub with free limited snacks, televisions, soft chairs and wireless internet. Memberships range from one year to three years to a full lifetime, and those rates are discounted based on your elite status.

Though there aren’t many ancillary benefits that Skymiles Gold can afford with other companies, you may want to consider trying to “status match” to another airline. At year’s end, get in touch with a competing airline, tell them that you’re switching preferred carriers and ask for similar status. They’ll ask you to send over your credentials and depending on their policy, should give you some sort of status. I’ve done this with British Midlands (bmi) before and have been very pleased with the accompanying benefits from Star Alliance Gold.

If you haven’t earned enough miles by March 1 2011, it’s not unheard of for the airline to offer you a “soft landing” from gold to silver, though given Delta’s recent revenue management tactics this may be a far reach. A polite letter to Skymiles indicating your planned flights (ie revenue) upcoming may further validate your case.

Until then, take advantage of your status and hoard as many miles as you can. Skymiles has been particularly stingy on releasing inexpensive rewards lately, so you’ll need every single mile that you can get your hands on.

Ask Gadling: Kids, allergies and travel

by Annie Scott on

Traveling into unknown territory can bring up a lot of questions. We’re here to help. This week’s question comes from Sarah in Illinois, whose son has allergies that make it difficult to travel.


“My husband and I love to travel, and our son is just getting old enough to withstand long rides on the airplane. Unfortunately, he has a fatal allergy to nuts. We want to expose him to different cultures and instill our love of travel in him, but we don’t want to be irresponsible parents and are afraid to take him anywhere we don’t speak the language. Help!”

Gadling: You certainly don’t sound like irresponsible parents to me. Don’t worry, you can travel. I’m allergic to nuts myself, and it’s never stopped me. Allergies are becoming more and more prevalent these days, and that’s actually good news for you and me, because across the world, people are starting to understand. Obviously, you should consult with your pediatrician to ensure you cover all the medical bases, and here are four things you can do to help keep your son safe while you travel wherever your wanderlust takes you.

1. Get allergy language cards. Visit SelectWisely.com to purchase strongly-worded cards that explain your son’s allergy in any language and with pictures. There are language barrier issues that could confuse the situation; learning “nuts” in every language won’t necessarily be good enough. In some languages, a nut is considered a fruit, so you’d be saying your son is allergic to fruit, and they might not think twice about serving him chocolate with a little hazelnut or something cooked in peanut oil and so on. Get these cards to avoid confusion and present them at every hotel and restaurant you visit.

View more Ask Gadling: Travel Advice from an Expert or send your question to ask [at] gadling [dot] com.

2. Bring snacks. There is a danger, especially if you’re visiting a second or third world location, of there not being enough good food for your son. Nuts are staples in the diets of many countries, and the less variety of food there is available, the more miserable your son may end up being. Pack some canned food (and a can opener!), beef jerky, fruit rollups, any snacks that you know he can eat. You don’t want to be up a river on a daytrip in Africa with nothing around but groundnuts available for hours.

3. Travel with an EpiPen. This is a no-brainer. You probably already carry one of these for his safety, but in case you don’t, it’s an auto-injection device which your doctor can prescribe. If, despite your best efforts, your son starts to show signs of anaphylactic shock, a quick jab with the EpiPen could save his life by buying him time to get to an emergency room.

4. Consider a cruise. Particularly if you are hoping to travel to Asia, where so many of the sauces use nuts, consider taking a cruise. That way, you can inform the ship of your son’s allergy and eat exclusively onboard if need be.

Good luck and safe travels to you!