£100 million budget shortfall for UK’s greatest attractions

Some of the United Kingdom’s most-visited sights may have to put off or cancel improvements after it has been revealed that they face a £100 million ($164 million) funding shortfall.

The Guardian newspaper reports the Department for Culture, Media, and Sport has promised far more than it can spend in fiscal years 2009-10 and 2010-11. Department officials failed to explain why they are so bad at math but claim they are looking into the problem. Well, I guess everything will be OK then.

This can’t be good news for the directors and staff at places like the British Museum or Tate Modern, which both planned large expansions, or Stonehenge, which was promised a visitor center, or the British Film Institute, which was supposed to get a whole new building complex. Some of the funding for these projects is coming from other sources, but the department’s portion is a vital part of the planning and now all of these projects will have to be reviewed.

Now that the Empire’s sun has permanently set, the UK needs to realize its two major sources of income are the financial services sector and tourism. Since the financial services people have shown their utter incompetence, the government should be managing its profitable tourist attractions a little more carefully.

A legendary stone circle in England

Everyone knows about Stonehenge, England’s most famous ancient monument, but did you know that there are nearly a thousand similar stone circles in the United Kingdom? Some are almost as big as Stonehenge, and all are steeped in folklore and legend.

A favorite of mine are the Rollright Stones, which you can get to as an easy day trip from Oxford or London. They’re near Chipping Norton, a fifty-minute bus ride from Oxford. This is a chance to get out of town and experience some of England’s peaceful countryside as well as a bit of prehistoric mystery.

The Rollright Stones is actually a general name for three ancient monuments within sight of each other. There’s a circle of low stones called the King’s Men, and nearby is a tall, strangely shaped stone called the King Stone (pictured here). A little further away is a cluster of five tall stones called the Whispering Knights. The names come from an old legend.

A long time ago, the legend says, a king and his army were passing through the countryside when five of his knights drew apart and conspired against him. As this was happening, a witch appeared and told him that if he could see the village of Long Compton a mile to the north by taking seven steps, he would become king of England. The king headed off, stretching out his legs as long as he could to get as far as possible, but on his seventh step a ridge rose up ahead of him. This ridge is still there and is called the Arch-Druid’s Barrow. The witch cackled and told him that he would never be king of England. Then the king, his knights, and the conspirators all turned to stone.

(I’m only repeating a legend, folks, so please don’t start a religious flame war like the last time I mentioned witches)

Stone circles are also associated with fertility, and old reports tell of young men and women meeting at the stones to eat, drink and, ahem, “be merry.” Ladies, if you want to find out the name of your future husband, press your ear against one of the Whispering Knights and he’ll whisper it to you. If you’re trying to get pregnant, press your breasts against the King Stone and you soon will be. “Making merry” with someone would probably help too.

So much for legend, what’s the real story of the Rollright Stones?

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The Whispering Knights used to have a roof, making a little building called a dolmen. Dolmens were used as tombs for important people and were generally covered with earth to make an artificial hill. It dates to about 4000-3500 BC. This was during the Neolithic, what archaeologists call the last phase of the Stone Age.

The King’s Men was built in the late Neolithic around 2500-2000 BC and is one of many stone circles set up at that time. Many of these circles have astronomical alignments, and the King’s Men is no exception. Two stones line up to mark the spot on the horizon where the moon rises on midsummer’s night. What does this mean? Nobody knows, since they hadn’t invented writing yet.

The King Stone is a bit more recent, probably erected around 1800-1500 BC in the Bronze Age. It’s a single standing stone and marked the spot for a cemetery. It’s interesting that people chose to bury their dead here at this site, already ancient in their day. Some researchers have tried to find astronomical alignments with the King’s Men, but there’s no solid theory yet.

There’s an easy, eight-mile circular hike to get to the Rollright Stones from Chipping Norton, the nearest town of any size. Details of the hike can be found in most hiking guides covering Oxfordshire. I used 50 Walks in Oxfordshire (AA Publishing, 2003).

The ultimate vacation home: a lighthouse

Thinking of curing those recession blues by investing in a vacation home? Why go for the traditional beach-side bungalow or alpine chalet when you could get something a little more original?

Perhaps 76 acres of undeveloped beach and a famous lighthouse in the southwest of England would be just the thing?

Upton Towans beach in Gwithian, Cornwall, is up for sale. It was here that a young Virginia Woolf used to vacation with her family, and the broad beach and beautiful view of the offshore lighthouse are said to have inspired her 1927 novel To the Lighthouse.

The 86-foot tall Godrevy Lighthouse, pictured here, was built in 1858 after the SS Nile crashed into the nearby rocks and sank with all hands. It’s one of the most attractive lighthouses on the English coast and draws in thousands of tourists a year, who also stroll along the beach and surf in the rough waters.

Bidding for the land, which will benefit Hall for Cornwall theater, is expected to start at £50,000 ($81,000). The sale comes with a couple of conditions: the land must remain open for public use and it cannot be “developed” (i.e. ruined). That means visitors will still be able to enjoy this rugged stretch of Cornish coast and its literary associations.

So if you are looking for some real estate and you don’t want to wreck it, this may be the thing for you. You’ll have to get used to sleeping in a lighthouse, though.

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Man hit by falling ice from plane

There have got to be better ways to get in the news.

David Gammon was relaxing in his garden near Bristol International Airport in England earlier this week when a plane flew overhead. The 76 year-old pensioner heard a whistling sound and got smacked in the thigh by a piece of ice the size of a grapefruit. He suffered a serious bruise that you can see on this video.

Authorities are investigating but the airport was quick to point out that there was no proof the ice fell off a plane using Bristol International. Afraid of getting sued, are we? They claim that ice falling from high-flying planes can land up to five miles away from the aircraft, meaning a plane going to Heathrow or a flight passing by to another destination could have been the culprit.

Assuming this little factoid is true, paranoids now having something new to worry about. With so many flight paths crisscrossing the sky, almost nobody is safe.

Tough luck, Mr. Gammon. Good thing it didn’t hit your head.

Help Wanted: one witch, pays £50,000

In these hard economic times it’s nice to know there are still good jobs out there. Wookey Hole, Somerset, England, is advertising for a witch.

Wookey Hole, famous for its beautiful limestone caves, is home to a family theme park. The company that manages the park wants to hire someone to play a witch and is willing to pay them £50,000 ($81,000) a year to cackle at visitors, teach courses in magic, and (here’s the catch) live in the caves. It’s not the greatest job in the world, but it beats flipping burgers and asking “Do you want eye of newt with that?”

According to legend there really was a witch in the Wookey Hole Caves. Back in the Middle Ages, an evil old witch who had been unlucky in love cursed a young couple so they would never marry. The young groom-to-be was so despondent over the loss of his love that he became a monk, and swore revenge. One day he entered the cave, blessed the underground river he found flowing through it, and splashed the water onto the witch, turning her into a stalagmite that can still be seen to this day.

It sounds like a fun way to make some money off an old legend, but one thing confuses me. Considering their name, why don’t they open a Star Wars theme park and hire a Wookiee?

Check out some of these other wacky laws, place names and signs from around the world!