How to dress for Mardi Gras in New Orleans

by Justin Glow on

New Orleans, I love ya, but you’re a dirty city — especially in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras. In fact, I’ve ruined a couple pairs of pants thanks to the “drunken sludge” on Bourbon street (right). After my first few trips to Mardi Gras, I got smart and went on a shopping spree at the thrift store before heading down, and now it’s a tradition. Here’s my yearly shopping list:

A few pairs of old pants. I like to head for the slacks aisle and pick up a few pieces that look like they’re straight from the set of Three’s Company. The more obnoxious, the better. I’m not shooting strictly for style, however — it’s best to find a few pairs that are built not only for looking like Mr. Furley, but for their durability; you want something that offers a bit of warmth and will cut through the Bourbon street sludge without decomposing.

A jacket. This is perhaps the most important piece of your ensemble. You want something that’s not only going to provide you warmth on the chilly February nights, but also make you look like someone not to be messed with. I learned this trick from a guy named Eddie who wore a trench coat every year. “People never know what you’ve got under there,” he told me. Thing is, he would actually carry a machete under his.

A hat. Shoot for something dapper here — a Borsalino knock-off, perhaps, or maybe even a cowboy hat. It’s often rainy down in New Orleans, so you want something to keep your head warm and dry, while furthering your chaotic wardrobe choices.

Shoes. It’s tough to find a good fitting set of shoes at the thrift store, so usually I pick an old pair of my own from the back of the closet. The key here is comfort, as you’ll be doing a lot of walking. Keep in mind that anything white below the knees will be a muddy gray color after a few hours on Bourbon, so pick your shoes wisely.

The end result should make you look like a cross between a transient panhandler and Jack Tripper. I saw my efforts come to their ultimate fruition a few years back when I randomly bumped into an old high school pal. “Dude,” he said, checking out my wardrobe, “are you homeless?” At least I was warm.

Houma, Louisiana: Family style Mardi Gras

by Erik McLaughlin on

I was lucky enough to live in Southern Louisiana for a few years, and I had a blast at several Mardi Gras parades. But for those looking to bring the kids or get away from the debauchery in the French Quarter, consider heading one hour south of New Orleans to the town of Houma.

Houma is a smaller city, about one hour’s drive south of New Orleans [see map], in Terrebonne Parish. It also hosts one of the largest Mardi Gras Parade in Louisiana, second only to New Orleans. The crowds are still plenty rowdy, and they party in typical Mardi Gras style. However, this is a family event, and kids are welcome at the parades and often get the best “throws” (items such as beads and toys thrown from parade floats).

The parades are free and the hotels are generally cheaper than overbooked New Orleans. Great food can be found at Boudreau and Thibodeau’s Cajun Cooking or Big Al’s Seafood — all Cajun style, of course. Lastly, take a ride with Munson’s Swamp Tours for a really up-close look at the swamp life.

Houma offers a great alternative to the parking problems, public urination and expensive drinks of Mardi Gras in New Orleans. A lot more family friendly than the Quarter, and still enough Mardi Gras to make anybody have a good time!

HoumaToday.com Mardi Gras Page

Things NOT to do at Mardi Gras in New Orleans (unless you want to go to jail)

by Justin Glow on

Despite it’s relaxed, party atmosphere, the city of New Orleans has laws — even during Mardi Gras. Further, the city has a concentration of NOPD officers, ATF, and undercover police in the French Quarter during Carnival to enforce these laws. If you’re heading to the Big Easy for the Mardi Gras, here are a few things you might be tempted to do, but should consider otherwise. And remember: just because you see other people doing it doesn’t make it legal!

DO NOT urinate in the streets. If you’re in the French Quarter and need to pee, do not — no matter how bad you have to go — pee in the streets. Not only is it disrespectful to the city, it’s also one of the easiest ways to get thrown in the drunk tank for the weekend. Instead, pay a few bucks to get into a bar, club, or restaurant and order a drink to use their facilities; you’ll end up saving a lot of money in the long run when you don’t have to get bailed out of jail. Or if you have time to spare, hunt out a port-o-potty. They’re typically painted bright yellow and strategically located at most intersections on Bourbon. There’s also a large bank of portable toilets located on Chartres Street, two blocks southeast of Bourbon, in between Conti and St. Louis. Here’s a map, along with the quickest route from Bourbon. When you’re sober, seek out these free toilets and walk to Bourbon, taking note of landmarks on the way so that when you’re drunk later on, you can find your way back. Plus, seeking these out on a regular basis throughout the night gives you a good excuse to escape the crowds on Bourbon and relax a little.

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DO NOT get naked. Ladies and gentleman: take note. While the laws are typically relaxed for women, I’ve still seen a few get popped for flashing breasts, so be careful — it’s technically illegal. But whatever you do, don’t flash anything below the waist. Guys, there’s hardly anything more embarrassing than getting arrested with your wiener hanging out, so don’t do it. No butts, either; Just make it easy on yourself and keep your pants on. Ladies, respect this law too unless you want a Lewd Conduct charge sitting on your record.

DO NOT openly do drugs. This should be a no-brainer, but it seems every year I see someone getting arrested for this. Don’t think that being allowed to drink in the streets means you can smoke weed in the open, snort cocaine off trash cans, or pop pills in an alley (and yes, I’ve seen it all happen before). There are plenty of undercover cops walking the streets masked as common folk, so it’s nearly impossible to get away with this. Besides, Mardi Gras should give you all the high you need.

DO NOT bother cars and taxis trying to cross Bourbon. No matter how stupid you think someone is for attempting to drive across Bourbon street during Mardi Gras, keep your hands off their car as they slowly drive by. Drunks — young men usually — think it’s funny to give the driver a hard time by slapping their hands on the hood or rocking the car back and forth as it creeps through the crowd. It’s not funny, and you’ll be arrested for doing it. This is one of the dumbest things you can do, because cops usually hang out at intersections and will throw you on the ground and arrest you faster than you can say, “happy Mardi Gras!”

DO NOT get in a fight. If there’s one thing NOPD are looking out for, it’s fighting. And New Orleans’s finest are like ninjas when it comes to breaking up fights; I’ve seen two guys going at it in what seems like a crowd of millions when, out of nowhere, a posse of cops swoop in and break up the fight within seconds. It’s amazing, really. They don’t care who punched who first, who spilled whose drink, who ogled whose girlfriend’s breasts — if you’re involved in a fight, you’ll be arrested. If in the unfortunate event you make someone mad, apologize profusely and leave the area, alerting the nearest police officer of the situation. It might not be the manliest thing you can do, but ask yourself this: would you rather spend Mardi Gras having fun, or in jail?

DO NOT touch the pretty horse. NOPD uses mounted police for crowd control. No matter how cute or friendly the horse looks, keep your hands off the animal unless you ask the cop nicely first and they give you permission. Think it’d be funny to slap the horse’s ass? Think again! How does “assault on an officer” sound? Not good. In fact, if you see a cop on a horse on Bourbon and it’s not midnight on Fat Tuesday, it’s best to keep your distance. Chances are they’re about to spin that horse around to clear a crowd, and you don’t want to be caught in the middle.

That said, New Orleans — especially during Mardi Gras — is relaxed and fun. Leave your ego in the hotel room, respect the city, be safe, and have fun. And when you see NOPD, politely thank them for the job they’re doing. Many of them are working overtime to keep you safe.

Happy Mardi Gras!


Mardi Gras is right around the corner

by Justin Glow on

I just made a last-minute decision to head down to New Orleans next weekend for Mardi Gras. This will be my 7th Big Easy Mardi Gras in the last 8 years.

Unfortunately, I missed it last year — my first miss in 6 straight — and felt that my attraction to the city was slowly fading. But as this year’s festivities grew closer, I found myself missing it even more. Luckily my trusty Mardi Gras pal (and cousin) was interested in making the drive next weekend, so we’ll be there — if only for a few days.

My most recent trip wasn’t the best in memory. It was only a few months after Katrina, I was sick with the flu, and it rained the entire time. Things just weren’t the same, and I’m hoping this year will make up for it and get rid of the bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, look for some on-the-scene coverage straight from NOLA next weekend, and if you’ll be in town too, let me know — we’ll meet up for a beer.

The Most Debaucherous Places I’ve Been to

by Martha Edwards on

I’m only in my 20s, but there have been a few places where the party-hard attitudes of locals and visitors alike have left me feeling more like 87 than 27. I like have fun as much as the next gal, but I’m not one to stay up drinking all night and into most of the next morning too. I need my rest, and plus, I am not good with hangovers. But nonetheless, I’ve been to a few excellent parties and made a valiant effort to stay up past midnight. Here are the top party spots I’ve visited at some point or another:

  • Ios, Greece: When people think of European party Islands, Ibiza is what automatically jumps to mind. But Ibiza’s lesser known Greek cousin, Ios, is still a pretty wild time. All the bars seem to be within stumbling distance of one another, and there are lots of post-club gyros vendors for some late-night snacking. For the record, the last time I was in Greece was 8 years ago, and apparently the party scene has shifted a bit …
  • Mardi Gras, Sydney, Australia: Sydney’s gay Mardi Gras is one of the world’s best-known parties. Is it for you? If you don’t mind crowds, gratuitous nudity and occasionally being groped by friendly Aussies, then yes. But don’t expect to actually see the world-famous parade unless you get a seat ahead of time (read: 8 o’clock in the morning.) — there are just too many people!
  • Full Moon Party, Koh Phangan, Thailand: I saw some pretty crazy things when I went to a full-moon with my friend Jenny and a group of Irish blokes we were travelling with. But when the drink of choice is buckets filled with coke, a mickey of Thai whiskey and Red Bull, you pretty much expect to see some pretty strange things — including a person you’ve never met snoozing on the hammock of your beach hut when you wake up the next day.
  • Puerto Vallarta, Mexico: I don’t remember much from my night out in Puerto Vallarta, except that a man dressed in a gorilla suit accompanied me to the ATM and I ended up on the stage of a club, showing off my mad drumming skills (for the record, I had never played the drums before, and haven’t since either.) I know many people say Cancun is ‘the‘ party capital, but I can’t vouch for that as I’ve never been out in Cancun.

That said, I’m sure there are much more wild places out there … I’m just not sure if I can handle them.