In honor of tomorrow’s planned National Opt-Out Day, we offer you this year’s hottest holiday gift: the TSA bumper sticker. Warning: It’s probably best not to post these on your luggage. We all know how the TSA feels about bumper stickers.
[via the FlyerTalk forum]
Five reasons why you’ll be miserable during Thanksgiving travel
We’ve all heard that the day before Thanksgiving is the busiest of the year for air travel. And, the roads tend to get clogged up with people going to visit friends and family – not to mention stuff their faces with turkey, potatoes and other traditional holiday fare. Travel isn’t going to be fun tomorrow, but you already know that.
But, do you know why?
Personally, of course, I have no doubt you do. Like me … like everyone … you have your own collection of Thanksgiving travel horror stories (and we’d love to read them, so leave a comment!). There’s also a big picture though, which provides a bit of context as to why this travel day can be unbearable.
Let’s take a look at five reasons why Thanksgiving travel is going to suck this year:
TA’s Thanksgiving travel trends survey found 28% say Turkey Day traveling stresses them out, especially heavy traffic.
2. It gets more crowded than airports: I’ve flown my share of Thanksgiving Eves, and it is miserable. But, the roads will probably be tougher (as I cope with childhood memories that fall short of fond). AAA notes that 94 percent of these travelers – 39.7 million people – will reach their holiday destinations by car. Traffic mean’s a whole lot of “Alice’s Restaurant” while you wait to merge.
3. The weather won’t help: according to CNN, there are “[w]inter storm warnings, watches and advisories” starting in California, Utah and Nevada and going all the way up to the Canadian border. Blizzards are on the list for most of Utah, western Colorado and southern Idaho.
Have the sense to stay off the roads when driving would be colossally stupid.
4. The media won’t help: doubtless you’ve seen a few stories about body scanners and “National Opt-Out Day.” If you think this won’t lead to longer lines at airport security checkpoints (if a mass protest actually happens), you’re out of your mind. Indignation means longer waits, so if National Opt-Out Day happens, I hope for your sake you’re a supporter. There’s a good chance you aren’t, though, as 64 percent of Americans say they support the scans, according to an ABC News/Washington Post poll.
There’s also a good chance you’re living in a dream world, since 70 percent of respondents to that poll believe the new TSA procedures won’t affect their flying plans.
5. It always does: right?
So, what’s your worst Thanksgiving travel experience? Leave a comment below to let us know!
[photo by atlih via Flickr]
TSA pees on Tom Sawyer
Start with three key ingredients: Detroit, a bag of urine, and the TSA.
Add an agressive pat-down at security and what do you get? A disgruntled man on a plane, soaked in his own warm pee and a national news headline!
On Nov. 7th, a male passenger flying from DTW to Orlando, Florida was selected for additional security screening. A bladder cancer survivor, the passenger carried an urostomy bag under his clothes–a plastic bag attached to his abdomen for collecting urine. Despite repeated requests to exercise caution in their search, the agents broke the seal on the bag, spilling the passenger’s urine all over him.
Adding insult to injury of the American psyche, the poor guy’s name was Tom Sawyer (not making this up), a Michigan special education teacher who is currently learning the true power of the internet. Obviously, this guy is pissed–he’s already taken the issue to the White House and the Department of Homeland Security.
An official response is still unknown, but the current threat advisory level is yellow.
Ron Paul proposes the “American Traveler Dignity Act”
Yesterday, Texas Representative Ron Paul introduced H.R. 6416, the American Traveler Dignity Act.
Said Paul in a speech on the floor of the House of Representatives yesterday:
“My legislation is simple. It establishes that airport security screeners are not immune from any US law regarding physical contact with another person, making images of another person, or causing physical harm through the use of radiation-emitting machinery on another person. It means they are subject to the same laws as the rest of us.”
Despite security risks referenced by Paul – like last Christmas’ underwear bomber – the Representative speaks out against the Advanced Imaging Technology machines, calling them a violation of personal privacy, questioning the harmful effects of radiation and referring to recent press reports that question the efficacy of the machines.
He also rails against the TSA itself, calling it an organization created “in a simple-minded and unprincipled attempt to appease public passion in the wake of 9-11.”
“The TSA version of our rights looks more like the ‘rights’ granted in the old Soviet Constitutions, where freedoms were granted to Soviet citizens — right up to the moment the state decided to remove those freedoms,” said Paul.
Paul has also expressed his support for National Opt Ot Day, taking place this coming Wednesday, which is encouraging travelers to “opt out” of enhanced security screenings from Advanced Imaging Technology machines.
Click below to see a video of Paul discussing the American Traveler Dignity Act:
“I Don’t Like the TSA” song – music video going viral
Jonathan Mann doesn’t like the TSA, and he’s written a song to prove it. And it rhymes. Furthermore, the music video for the “I Don’t Like the TSA” song has totally made our morning.
The glory of Mann’s delightful rant is that it’s actually clever, and while it expresses a certain angst I think a lot of us have come to feel, it’s upbeat and fun. Bonus: it’s one of those songs that’s easy to dance to sitting down.
In recent weeks, perhaps in response to a mass sense of dread as holiday travel time approaches, there have been a number of attacks on the futility and invasiveness of the TSA. Our editor Grant Martin posted an article just yesterday suggesting that maybe, just maybe, the TSA isn’t that bad (Why you shouldn’t be concerned about airport x-rays and patdowns). Still, whether you want to freak out over x-rays or not is your own business.
Jonathan Mann wants you to. The video is somewhat hyperbolic (“if I refuse them groping me then they’ll treat me like a detainee”) and morphs into what seems like a serious PSA-style plea for consumer action, directing people to www.wewontfly.com. Is making a music video about hating the TSA an outlandish overreaction? Probably. But the call to action seems to be “an attempt to stop the ever increasing ridiculousness that is TSA regulation.” For frequent fliers, it’s hard to argue with that notion. There’s this ever-present worry about “what’s the TSA going to make us do next?”
So, have a watch. The lyrics are included after the jump for your singalong pleasure — and, you know, in case you want to print them out and start singing this in line at the airport over the holiday travel season. Good luck with that.
I Don’t Like the TSA – lyrics
by Jonathan Mann
I don’t like the TSA
I don’t see how they keep me safe
they scan me with their x-ray
then laugh at me when I’m at my gate
And if I refuse to show them my penis
then they insist on groping me
g-g-g-groping me
and if I refuse them groping me
then they’ll treat me like a detainee
d-d-detainee
I don’t like the TSA
taking off my shoes don’t keep me safe
they scan me with their x-ray
or they grope me which is not okay
Don’t get me wrong
this isn’t about the agents
’cause they’re just doing their jobs
this is about the policies
and companies that are profiting
and i question the safety
of bombardment with x-ray
maybe the government’s tests
we’re quite so accurate
they say the dose is .02
microseiverts but how much
is deposited in the skin?
is deposited in the skin?
And that’s why
I don’t like the TSA
I don’t see how they keep me safe
they can scan me with their x-ray
and then they’re laughing at me when I’m at my gate
Oh-oh-oh
I don’t like the TSA
I don’t see how taking my shoes off is keeping me safe
I don’t know why they gotta use that great big x-ray
and then they’re laughin’
they’re like “ha ha ha ha ha ha ha”
all the way down
the corridor … and stuff
[via @jetsetfarryn]