10 tips for traveling as a couple – and not breaking up

by Katie Hammel on

Traveling together for the first time as a couple can be a make-or-break experience. You can learn more about a person on a two-day trip than you can in a few weeks of dating.

When you travel with someone, you quickly figure out how he interacts with other cultures, how she manages money, how she handles stress, or how he deals with conflict when the two of you cannot escape each other. Not to mention, you’ll be privy to all those things the other person may have tried (maybe successfully) to hide from you before: she doesn’t look quite the same without her makeup on, and you do not want to go in the bathroom after he uses it first thing in the morning.

Travel can be a more intense experience than life at home, and that holds true for couples traveling together too. But, traveling with your mate can also be an enriching experience that brings the two of you closer. Here are some tips for traveling with your significant other, whether you’re planning your first trip together or have been exploring the world as a couple for some time.Start small
The length of time you spend on your trip should be directly proportionate to the amount of time you have been dating. Couples who have been together for years have a better chance of surviving long-term travel, while those who have been together for less than 12 months should stick to trips of a week to 10 days.

If you’ve only been dating a month or two, do not attempt more than a weekend jaunt for your first effort, and never plan a trip more days in advance than the amount of time you have been together. Known each other one month? I don’t care if you are in love. I still wouldn’t recommend you buy tickets for a two-week long trip for three months from now.

Pick the right location
I often hear people ask what is a good “romantic destination.” That’s the wrong question. Any destination can be romantic. Romance is more about who you are with, what you do, and your state of mind than where you are on the map. Sure, some locations are more picturesque or have more “romantic” lodging options, but that doesn’t mean they are the perfect place for you and your sweetie.

Focus more on what you want to see and do and go from there. If you get bored lying on the beach all day, you aren’t going to have a great trip, no matter how “romantic” the resort claims to be. Talk to your significant other and discuss what you each want to do and what your travel style is, and select a location based on those considerations.

Plan together
In many relationships, it seems like one person always takes the reins of planning while the other is content to be led. This can work out fine for decisions such as where to go to dinner, but when you are talking about spending several days, and possibly several hundred dollars, on a trip, both people need to contribute to the decision making. Once you’ve settled on a location, you can divvy up the planning responsibilities in one of several ways.

If one person is more of a foodie, he or she can select restaurants, while the person who is more passionate about history or art chooses which museums to visit. Another option is to alternate days when each person plans the itinerary. You’ll decided what to do on Monday; he’ll make Tuesday’s plan. The third option, and the one that works best for my husband and I, is to each make a plan based on what we want to do. Then we compare (usually finding that most of our “must-do” activities are the same) and craft a final itinerary from there.



Compromise
In the travel planning and on the trip, you have to realize that you can’t get your way all the time. When creating an itinerary that includes both what you want to do and what your significant other wants to do, you often will each have to give up a few things in order to make it work. One way my husband and I do this is to figure out how many activities, cities, or restaurants we can fit in on the trip. Then we each make a list of our top choices, filling in one from each person until we have maxed out our time. This way we each get to do the things that are most important to us.

Take time apart
For your sanity, and in order to do some things you may want to do that your mate does not, it’s important to take time apart on your trip. Whether it’s 20-30 minutes to clear your head with an early morning run on a short weekend trip, or taking off an entire afternoon of a week-long trip to visit a museum that your significant other has no interest in, spending some time apart is vital. It can help prevent you from getting frustrated with each other and having petty arguments, and it can allow you the time to do things that matter most to you. Plus, a little time apart can make you appreciate the time you spend together even more.

Talk budget before you go
Money is one of the main sources of disagreement for all couples, whether they be traveling or not. It’s easy to say, “I’m on vacation, I’ll deal with it later,” and then cry when you get your credit card bill. One member of the couple may also feel pressured to keep up with the other, which can then lead to resentment.

Before you begin booking your trip, talk openly and honestly about what you can afford and how you plan to divide the costs. Unless your finances are already shared, the best system is to set a budget and go dutch on all costs. This doesn’t have to mean splitting the check at every restaurant though. Just figure out how much you plan to spend on each expense and assign each cost to one person.

For instance, if your hotel will be $500 for five nights and the plane tickets were $250, you can pay for the flights while you mate pays for the hotel. If you’ve budgeted $100 per night for dinner, just switch off picking up the tab.

Be flexible
While I’m a firm believer in making an itinerary and planning a budget for every trip, I think it’s equally important to remain flexible. Things change. Sometimes after a long day of sightseeing, you just don’t want to go to that fancy restaurant you had selected for dinner. The day you wanted to climb the Duomo for the perfect view dawns cloudy and grey. Make a plan but plan for it to change. Always have a Plan B and Plan C and don’t let the little hiccups frustrate you. Sometimes the best things can happen when your plans fall through.

Keep a sense of humor
With precious little vacation time, sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have the perfect trip, to enjoy every single second of it to the fullest. When that doesn’t happen, we’re crushed. But things go wrong on the road. Planes are delayed, luggage gets lost, hotels lose reservations and sometimes even the most highly recommended restaurant turns out to be a disappointment.

When bad things happen, try to keep an open mind. So a crazy Italian chef screamed at you for suggesting that the swordfish wasn’t all that fresh(as happend to me on my honeymoon), don’t let it ruin your trip. Find a way to laugh about it and you’ll end up with a better experience, and a better story to tell when you come home. So you’re hopelessly lost, it’s raining and your train leaves in an hour. The worst that happens could be that you are out a bit of money and spend an extra night in the city. Try to keep things in perspective. Remember, in most cases, the troubles you have are minor and temporary.

Make time for romance
Any trip, any restaurant, any hotel, is as romantic as you make it. When we’re running around sightseeing, trying to pack a lot into a short trip, it’s easy to forget to slow down and appreciate the time we have with the one we love. Sometimes we need to schedule romance. On even the most budget trip, find a way to do something special for your partner. Whether it be a picnic with a view, an order of breakfast in bed, a splurge meal, or just a long moonlit stroll under the lights of the city, be sure to plan at least one thoughtful surprise for your significant other.

Protect your investment
Of course you and your love are never, ever going to break up. And certainly not before your week-long trip through Napa Valley or your two-week jaunt through his ancestral land of Ireland. But…..these things do happen. I know several people who’ve lost hundreds of dollars worth of plane tickets because they were dumped right before the trip, or who suffered through an uncomfortable vacation (rather than lose the money) and broke up as soon as they got home.

Don’t let this happen to you. Make sure that your ticket cost can be refunded or that the tickets can be changed. If you need to put down a deposit, find out when the last day to get a refund is. For a trip of significant cost, look into travel insurance, which often contains a “cancel for any reason” provision that would cover heartbreak and allow you to recoup all funds if the relationship goes sour.

Air France knows how to treat customers right: Tips for other airlines

by Jamie Rhein on

There’s plenty to kvetch about when it comes to flying. Every time I book a flight, I continue to look at the arrival and departure times as merely suggestions–a rough idea. I plan to be late. I plan for problems. In generally, I am pleasantly surprised and achieve a warm glowing feeling when flights land on time. In all the times I’ve flown, I’ve never lost baggage. Baggage has never been my gripe.

In general, my horror tales of flights that have gone awry are few. The ones I do have remind me about how I like to be treated. This summer’s trip on Air France from Venice to Detroit via Paris reminded me of what an airline should do to keep passengers pleased and coming back when problems occur. If what I experienced is any indication of how Air France usually treats customers, I’d say the airline’s customer service is one area where the airline works well–even when the airplanes have issues.

If other airlines consistently followed these tips I noted, flying would be more pleasant for everyone, including the staff.

Tip 1: Go above and beyond whenever possible: Although, the customer service person for Air France was not able to switch my 16-year-old daughter’s flight from KLM to Air France so that she could be on the same flight with my 7-year-old-son and me, the agent offered to check my daughter in on the KLM flight as she helped me navigate Air France’s check-in system.

The agent’s extra effort helped make all of us feel less anxious about my daughter’s first foray into flying by herself, particularly since her connecting flight was through Amsterdam. Because of the agent’s extra effort, my daughter, son and I were able to enjoy a leisurely breakfast, a smooth transition through security, and time to find my daughter’s gate before my son and I took off. Good for you, Air France.

Tip 2: Tell passengers right away if there is a problem with the plane and what will happen next: As our flight was to board, a mechanical problem with the plane was discovered. Air France announced over the Charles de Gaulle International Airport’s speaker system that boarding was being halted due to an aircraft issue and that we would find out more details as possible. In the meantime, we would be taken care of. We were also told that seat assignments would stay the same and that we would probably be changing gates. We were to stay at the gate where we were because that is where information would be given to us.

This set the tone that even though we would be delayed, the problem would be rectified as quickly as possible. It also gave us a job to do. Stay tuned for more information and stay where we are.

Tip 3: When there’s a problem, make amends with food. Once it was determined we’d be at the airport longer than expected, Air France gave all passengers a choice of one of three or four types of sandwiches and a choice of a can of soda or a bottle of water. The food was brought to us.

Tip 4: Give out phone cards if needed. One of the Air France agents gave me a phone card so I could call my husband so he could call my daughter when she landed in Detroit to tell her not wait for us. We were to meet up in Detroit to fly to Columbus on the same Delta flight. Originally, my son and I would have arrived in Detroit before her and had planned to wait for her at her gate. I was concerned that my daughter wouldn’t know what to do next and miss the Delta flight herself.

Because my concern was taken seriously, I was able to relax for the rest of the trip.

Tip 5: If the passenger is having problems using the phone card, help. Gladly. When using a phone in France, the recorded messages are in French. The phone call I tried to make to my husband wouldn’t go through. Because I couldn’t understand the message, I had no idea why not. An agent stepped from behind the desk, went to the pay phone with me, tried to use the card, found out what the message said and helped me rectify the problem which required finding out another access number. It’s complicated. The point is, the agent offered help and didn’t let me become more frustrated. Eventually, I was able to make the call I needed.

Tip 6: When the in-flight entertainment stops working properly mid-flight, apologize and do your best: The in-flight entertainment stopped working when I was in the middle of watching “I Love You Man.” There was an announcement that the crew was aware that the in-flight entertainment system had stopped working and that they were trying to fix it. In the meantime, we should please be patient. Part of the extensive system was fixed in a few minutes. The entire system was fixed in about 20.

Tip 7: Offer food that’s more than just palatable. The meals were terrific. There’s not much else to say about this tip. We all know good food when we see it and taste it. Rich Moffit who snapped the food picture echoed my sentiment with his photo labeled: “This is why you fly Air France.”

Tip 8: At the end of the flight, thank passengers for the flight and again apologize for the problems along the way: When we landed, the pilot again apologized for the delay and thanked us for our understanding. The smiling flight attendants did the same.

I smiled back and said, “Thank you for your efforts to get us here safely and for making the flight pleasant.”

**My daughter’s solo flight went swimmingly well. She did receive the phone call from her dad and knew just what to do. Thanks, Air France.

44 little travel rules no one tells you

by Mike Barish on

Here at Gadling, we pride ourselves on sharing the best travel tips and advice with you. And from time to time, someone from outside the Gadling family adds something so fantastic to the travel discourse that we need to feature it. And that’s exactly what travel writer Robert Reid has done. [Full disclosure: Robert is a friend of mine. A talented and well-traveled friend, but a friend nonetheless.] In the latest entry on his blog, Reid on Travel, he shares 44 little travel rules that no one tells you.

At the heart of the post is the sentiment that we should each feel comfortable creating our own experiences. In other words, feel free to put ice in your beer (rule #8). Or proudly sport socks with sandals (rule #28). So long as you are broadening your horizons and being respectful of others, you should be comfortable being you.

Two of Robert’s rules hit particularly close to home for me:

21. Try a couple days without the camera or email.

I tend to over-document my trips. Lately, I have been attempting to get lost in moments and experiences rather than viewing them through an LCD screen. As much as I love to share my pictures with friends, I’m trying to teach myself the value of being in the moment rather than framing it perfectly for an album.

37. Take public transit — a tram (I LOVE trams), subway, ox cart — at least once, even if you don’t need to get where it’s going. So few Americans EVER take one, it’s sad.

I happen to love public transit. So much so, that I even used it in Los Angeles, where cars are considered a necessity (more on that in a future post). You can observe so many slice-of-life moments while on a train or bus that you would otherwise miss in a taxi. If you want to immerse yourself in a culture, public transit can provide you with a window into a place’s real character.

Take a gander at Robert’s full list and feel free to suggest some more travel rules in the comments below. And then plan a trip. Just be sure to get a hat (rule #29).

Photo by flickr user swimparallel.

Galley Gossip: Interview with a flight attendant – ME!

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

I know this is really random and weird, but I’m a Jr in high school and we were given an assignment to write a research paper over a job that we would like to do once we graduate and I have become very interested in becoming a flight attendant. Anyway part of the assignment is to interview someone that does the job we would like to do. It’s been very hard trying to find someone that is a flight attendant. Well I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions…

  1. How long have you been working at your job
  2. What kind of training/education is required to do your job
  3. Is college or a vocational school needed to prepare for this job?
  4. How have the things learned in school helped when beginning this line of work?
  5. What do you like most about your job?
  6. What do you like least about your job?
  7. What advice would you give a student that is interested in doing what you do?
Thanks for your time,

Lacy

Dear Lacy,

I’d love to help you with your research paper and thank you for including me. When you’re finished, can I take a peek at what you wrote? Oh and if you, or anyone else, have any other questions please feel free to ask!

How long have you been working at your job: I’ve been working for a major US carrier for fourteen years. Before I began working for my current employer, I worked three months for a low cost carrier called Sun Jet International Airlines, an airline that is no longer in business. I’ve even done a little corporate flying on a GV (gulfstream) owned by Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks basketball team, which was actually purchased over the internet for $41 million, the largest internet purchase ever made. Talk about an amazing experience. My jumpseat alone was something to write home about.

What kind of training / education is required to do your job: It depends on the airline. However, I do not know many flight attendants who do not have a college education. Even with a 30% pay cut, longer duty days, and shorter layovers, all of which happened after 9/11, the job is still a highly competitive one to obtain. That means if you want to work for a major carrier your best bet is to go to college and get a degree.

Besides a college education, airlines are also looking for people who have good customer service skills. Remember, you will be dealing with people, all kinds of people and lots of them for up to 14 hours a day, and most of these people are not happy and want to tell you all about it. It’s important that you have the right kind of personality to handle this kind of job. Even people with the right personality can lose a little patience after a long duty day. Being flexible is also a must in the airline industry, as flights cancel and schedules change. And keep in mind, you probably won’t be based where you live now.

As for training the airline will provide, it was the longest seven and a half weeks of my life. It’s not that it was hard, because it’s really not, but there’s a lot of information to retain in a very short period of time. In training we learned everything from how to evacuate a smoke filled cabin to how to handle a “gassy” passenger without insulting them.

Trust me, it’s not all about doing a drink service. Things do happen in flight. Just a few months ago I walked out of the business class galley with a tray full of drinks and noticed the entire business class cabin had turned around in their seats, all eyes on me. That’s when I spotted the unconscious young lady lying on the floor. No one had moved a muscle. Immediately I went into action. Fortunately flight attendant training prepares you for anything and everything. Though I must admit I was completely unprepared once while working a Sun Jet flight when a passenger complained to me because she didn’t get a blueberry muffin inflight due to the fact that the flight diverted because of smoke in the cabin. Ya see, this is one of those times when customer service skills come in handy.

Is college or a vocational school needed to prepare for this job: I wouldn’t say it’s required, but as I mentioned above, the more educated you are the better your chances at getting hired, especially if you want to work for a major carrier. So if you have the opportunity to go to college, by all means go! If you are thinking about a vocational school, do it! I can’t tell you how many flight attendants I know who are trained in therapy and nursing. It’s just smart to have a backup plan in life, because even if you do get hired to work for an airline you never know what’s going to happen in the future. Airlines are struggling just to stay afloat in our weak economy and each month a different airline seems to be going out of business.

If for whatever reason college is not in the cards for you, don’t give up. Get experience! Customer service experience is what you’ll need, and you’ll need a lot of it! Try waiting tables (even if you are going to school), but not just at any restaurant, a nice restaurant. Years ago when I interviewed to work as a corporate flight attendant for a company called Million Air out of Dallas, I was asked about my experience with first class service. At the time I had none. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Oh sure I waited tables in college, but that was at a hole in the wall dive, so that didn’t quite count. Probably explains why I didn’t get hired. I’m sure the canary yellow suit I wore to interview in that day didn’t help matters, either.

Speaking other languages always helps, too. Airlines love to hire bilingual employees. Just the other day I saw that a major US carrier is currently hiring ONLY flight attendants that can speak Mandarin Chinese. Those who speak Mandarin Chinese do not need more than a high school education to apply.

How have the things learned in school helped when beginning this line of work: Honestly, I can’t think of one thing that I learned in school that did not somehow help me later on in life as a flight attendant, or any other job that I’ve held. Just going to school, for one thing, is an education in itself. You are multi-tasking, learning how to deal with different people, handling responsibility, while studying and learning new things every day. Trust me when I tell you that airline training is not easy. There’s a lot of information coming at you at once, so the better you are in school, the better off you’ll be in flight attendant training.

While most days you won’t be handling onboard emergencies, thank goodness, the majority of your time will be spent dealing with passengers, and that includes passengers who have problems. A flight attendant has to be able to communicate not only with the mother and child in coach, but also the CEO of a very large company sitting in first class. That means you have to be knowledgeable and up to date on current events, as well as what’s going on in the aviation industry.

What do you like most about your job? What I like most about my job changes every few years. In my early twenties all the days off seemed to be the best thing about my job. Back then I worked about 12 days a month. That’s it. As I began to make more money, it was traveling (for free!) that I began to love. There’s nothing like flying to Paris in first class on a whim. Now that I’m married (to a man who flies over 100,000 miles a year) and have a two-year old son at home, I have to say it’s the flexibility of the job that I love most. When my husband is out of town, I can stay home and take care of my son. If the husband has to go away on business to…let’s say…Japan, my son and I can go along with him. If I want to make a little extra cash for the holiday season, I can pick up extra trips from other flight attendants.

What do you like least about your job? Reserve. Because everything is based on company seniority, reserve flight attendants are the most junior flight attendants at each airline. When you’re on reserve you have no life. Except for a few known days off, you do not have a schedule, which means you’re at the beckon call of the airline – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, until your official day off. Thank goodness I’m no longer on reserve. But that can always change. So now that I’m holding off reserve, I have to say that working holidays is what I like least about my job. Yes, I will be working Christmas day. Luckily I was able to drop my trip on Christmas eve.

What advice would you give a student that is interested in doing what you do? Finish your education and if you still want to be a flight attendant apply! Then, when you get called for an interview, make sure to read my blog so that you know exactly what you’re getting into, and talk a lot about customer service. Oh and whatever you do, do not wear a canary yellow suit. Think blue. Navy blue.

Hope that helps,

Heather Poole

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Photos courtesy of Heather Poole (yeah, that’s me!)

Galley Gossip: Flight attendant – still a hot job to date.

by Heather Poole on

What would you do if you were a flight attendant and some young lad said to you, “I like the way you walk?”

Personally, I would have kept on walking. If possible. Because you never know if there’s going to be a 200 pound drink cart blocking your way. But hey, that’s just me.

One New Zealand flight attendant did not walk away when a passenger commented on the way she worked the aisle. Well maybe she did walk, I don’t really know, but what I do know is she took it a step farther and complained about the rugby player from the South Canterbury team when he asked for her number on a flight from Gisborne to Wellington. Again, I don’t have all the details. The article was short. I’m not even sure exactly when the comment pertaining to the walk was made, but at some point the entire rugby team was offloaded and put on another flight. I wonder if she, the flight attendant, liked the way they walked – off the airplane.

On a side note, I can tell you that John, my friend and fellow coworker, would have been very disappointed to have seen that rugby team go. But that’s another story.

The rugby team coach, Ken Wills, claimed the incident was blown out of proportion. He told the Herald Newspaper, “One of the guys was trying to use a pick-up line and exchange text numbers. The boys had a lot of fun on a flight on the way up and one got an air hostess’s number so they were all trying to match him.”

Every year there’s a popular men’s magazine that rates the top ten hot jobs to date, and each year flight attendant makes that list. It’s true. I’ve seen it. If flight attendant is not THE number one hot job, it is definitely one of the top five. When you’re single and dating, this kind of list not only helps to attract Mister Wrong, but also Mister Never-In-A-Million-Years. Trust me, I know from first hand experience. Believe it or not, there are also websites dedicated to the madness, websites like Crewdating.com. Swear to god. Go look it up if you don’t believe me.

Check out this ad from a lonely guy on Craigslist – Craigslist of all places!

I am the principal of a US based boutique investment bank. I have offices in Shanghai, NYC and Washington DC. I have homes in the US and Shanghai. I am 191 cm, 86 kgs, full head of hair, hazel eyes, and am considered handsome by some. I am absolutely smitten with the elegance of the flight attendants on Singapore Airlines. I spent a great deal of time there, and find myself drawn back time and time again, if not just to fly Sing Air. I would appreciate any introduction… I will share more details of myself and pictures with a reply.

Honestly, I do not see anything wrong with Lonely Guy’s ad. In fact, I’m a little impressed that he knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to ask for it – in an ad. On craigslist. That’s what successful people do. That’s why they’re successful in the first place. I have a very strong feeling that Lonely Guy is going to find his elegant Singapore Girl – in an ad, on craigslist – and I do hope when he does he emails Gadling to tell me all about it! What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart.

While I do have a fondness for Lonely Guy, I’m not so sure what to think of the guy on Ask.com who wrote…

I am an Arabian male and I have always wanted to find a flight attendant ( Air Hostess ) to go out with. I don’t know if it is a fantasy or the interest in finding a person who toured the world but I want to find one that often flies to the Gulf Area (Saudi, Qatar, Bahrain, UAE, Kuwait) and hook up. Of course I won’t just date any hostess but we got to be interested in each other. .. I just don’t know where to look!? …. Anyone there who is interested or knows where can I look?

Arabian Male, Whadaya mean you have to actually be interested in one another? And you won’t take just ANY hostess, you say? But why not? Yeah, can someone say booty call? What I find even more amusing than the ad above, are the answers to Arabian Male’s question…

Tara wrote, “The obvious place to look would be an airport or better yet fly first class. It seems the first class passengers always get the most attention–then just work your magic. My real advice: Give it up, babe.”

JB wrote, “Go to the airport. Be there 24/7. Whenever a flight attendant pass by you .. say hi .. or pretend to be a passenger and ask a question … simple as that .”
I’d say Tara and JB both gave pretty sound advice. Advice I suggest not to take came from The Player at Askmen.com, who wrote a post entitled How to pick up a flight attendant. I do not know one flight attendant who would fall for his nonsense. And then there was Doc Love’s “interesting” post, Are flight attendants dateable, full of advice on, you guessed it, flight attendants and the game of dating. You did notice the words the game are in italics? Good. Because I’m not even sure what to make of that – game. Believe it or not, the best advice came from the website ehow.com…
  • Make a great first impression by dressing neatly, instead of going for comfort with sweat pants and flip-flops like many fliers do. Smile, be friendly and try to join in light conversation. Because most fliers tend to ignore flight attendants until they need something, your outgoing personality will quickly catch her eye.Take any opportunity to help her out. For example, if she is struggling to fit someone’s oversize carry-on into the overhead compartment, jump up from your seat and offer to help.

  • Flirt a little, but not so much that she finds you annoying or even threatening. Make eye contact now and then, be polite saying please and thank you. While you want your interest to be obvious, you don’t want to come off as desperate.

  • Remember that flight attendants risk losing their jobs by accepting a date with a client while working. So, instead of directly trying to pick her up while she is surrounded by co-workers and clients, simply slip her a business card on your way off the plane. If desired, you might add a short note to the back of the card. Avoid the temptation to verbally pick her up, as you are sure to get a solid no.

Meeting a flight attendant is one thing, but being able to really date, as in having the confidence and patience to deal with a job that takes your love interest out of town for days at a time, even on the holidays, is quite another. Just ask my husband, a man I met on a flight.