Hermès Heir Gets Crotchety on Flight

by Mike Barish on

According to the NY Times, an heir to the Hermès fashion fortune got a little too touchy feely on a recent Air France Flight. It’s an odd episode that involves drinking, crotch grabbing and excessive restraints.

Mathias Guerrand-Hermès sidled up to a young mademoiselle in first class. She was a bit put off by this and woke her husband, who was – not so shockingly – similarly unamused by Mr. Guerrand-Hermès’ advances.

Guerrand-Hermès refused to listen to a flight attendant’s request to return to his seat so she summoned the captain. And here’s where things go from uncomfortable to erotic. When approached by the captain, Guerrand-Hermès decided his best mode of defense was the ol’ crotch grab. Thankfully, the captain was able to withstand this awkward maneuver and Guerrand-Hermès was eventually subdued in his seat. By three (male) flight attendants. And handcuffs. And shackles. And by being tied down.

Guerrand-Hermès claims that he mixed Propofan (a prescription drug similar to aspirin) with “quite a bit of alcohol.” I’m no doctor, but that sounds like a bad idea. But since the label didn’t say, “Side effects include lewd advances on married women and homoerotic attack strikes,” can you really blame him for the mix-up?

One can only hope that this bad publicity doesn’t hurt his career as a socialite and polo player.

Other Travel Troublemakers

Holy water may be blessed, but don’t carry it on the pope’s plane: The pope says so

by Jamie Rhein on

A friend of mine told me this summer about how his small jar of apple butter was confiscated at the TSA security check. He was hoping to bring it from Minnesota back to Montana..

Another person recently told me that the snow globe she was bringing back as a souvenir from her vacation to California this summer was also confiscated by TSA. Unfortunately, she read the post about snow globes not being okay in a carry on after she lost her treasure.

Turns out, there is something else to think about when you pack. If you have holy water on you, even if it is blessed by the pope, better be safe and tuck it into your checked bag–particularly if you are traveling with the pope on his plane. Put it in your carry on and it might be confiscated.

Pope Benedict XVI, recognizing the hazards of holy water in a carry-on, is warning people that even the smallest amount could be a problem reports this Reuters article. Pope Benedict was specifically referring to people traveling with him to Lourdes, France from September 12-15.

People travel to Lourdes on a pilgrimage to see the spot where the Virgin Mary appeared to a peasant girl in 1858. Picking up holy water as a souvenir is part of the occasion.

Like the pope, Air France has warned against bringing holy water onto the papal plane as well.

As for other airlines, other planes, and other occasions where you may be bringing holy water home with you, I’d pack it in a checked bag, or take your chances with a bottle if it’s no more than 3-ounces.

But, remember the apple butter and the snow globe and those half empty bottles of bottled water dumped into the trash by TSA. There’s no telling what might happen when you hoist that carry-on onto the conveyor belt that passes through an X-Ray machine.

10 tips for smarter flying


Cheap air travel options if the tropics suit you

by Jamie Rhein on

What I really want is a cheap airfare to New York City from Columbus, Ohio. Since that’s not on my horizon, I’m taking an Amtrak train from Cleveland and a Greyhound bus back. For adults traveling with children, both offer a discount that can’t be beat.

If I were to head to the Caribbean, the Bahamas, or Bermuda, I might find different options that would put a cheaper airplane ticket in my hand. According to a recent “Practical Traveler“ in the New York Times,’ there are tickets for a bargain to these tropical locations.

Check out American Airlines, JetBlue. and Air France for the deals. Perhaps, you’ll be lucky and an airport near where you live will have one of those bargain flights to a place you’d like to go. Going to Cancún out of JFK airport in New York City is only a few dollars more than a trip to Denver, for example. Denver’s nice, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a destination for a holiday.

Yes, I did go to Denver myself two years ago and considered it part of a summer vacation, but there weren’t any hours relaxing by a pool.

One day, I might be looking to head to the tropics, but for now, it sure would be great to find a deal to New York. My son who is six years-old thinks Greyhound will be swell.

Also, an airline to keep an eye on for a travel deal, according to the article, is Southwest. As the article points out, Southwest has not offered a travel deal for awhile.

A new era for zeppelin travel?

by Jeremy Kressmann on

Do you remember reading about the Hindenburg disaster in history class? You know, that giant blimp that burst into flames in New Jersey in 1936 1937, killing all most of the passengers onboard? For the fledgling blimp tourism industry of the 1930’s, that was pretty much the end of the line.

However, according to recent news, the blimp is experiencing a resurgence as a trendy new vehicle for the upscale tourism market. Jean-Marie Massaud, a French designer and architect, has announced plans for a new 690-foot long dirigible with attached luxury hotel (obviously) called the “Manned Cloud.” According to recent reports several airlines including Air France and Emirates have expressed interest in funding the project. Believe it or not, Jean-Marie Massaud isn’t the first to propose such an idea – a tour company based in Germany has been taking passengers on blimp aerial tours for several years. Just imagine the views as you gently float among the clouds, gazing down at the spectactular scenery below…

So is the once-mighty dirigible industry poised for a comeback? Don’t book that non-refundable blimp ticket on Kayak just yet. Though traveling by blimp will surely be of interest to some (moneyed) travelers, it’s likely to remain a largely niche transportation mode for several reasons. Aside from the fact blimps top out at ground speeds around 100 MPH, they’re also quite susceptible to bad weather. Can you imagine being in a blimp during a thunderstorm? I hate turbulence on airplanes as it is. Not to mention these floating aircraft can only take on small numbers of passengers and need very large landing strips to touch down.

Oh well, so much for reopening that blimp dock on New York’s Empire State Building. But keep watching the skies – a blimp trip could very well be in your future.

Galley Gossip: Airline for sale!

by Heather Poole on

This is it, people, your chance to buy an airline, because Volare Airlines, an Italian low-cost carrier, is now up for sale – again!

What’s that? Not enough money you say? Why don’t we all pool our money together and buy…oh I don’t know…maybe just one of the airplanes. We can each buy a seat. And since we’d only own one airplane, we can call our small little airline MY PLANE. That means when someone asks, “what airline did you travel on,” you can then say, “My Plane,” and mean it, because it is your plane, as well as my plane.

We’ll take votes and fly the most popular route once a day. But the real beauty of owning My Plane is this…I would…I mean WE would get to design it from the bottom up. Just the way we want. And because we’d only want the best for My Plane, which is also your plane, I’d like to make a few suggestions..

After reading all 754 comments from my post Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #1, Answer Please! it’s apparent we should only hire flight attendants from one of the Asian carriers. Why? Passengers, at least the ones who commented on my post, seem to love them. Hey, what’s not to love about an airline that hires flight attendants who are all the same uniform size – small. That makes complete sense – one size uniform for the one and only airplane. Forget equal opportunity, we make the rules at this airline! And while we’re at it making those rules, how about we only allow one size of passenger onboard – small of course, which will help save fuel. As you know, saving on fuel is the name of the game these days. Which is why that small passenger can only bring onboard one small bag and place it under the small seat. The small flight attendant will then serve a small meal to the small passenger with the small bag under the small seat and…wait a minute…we’re not talking about us, are we? I think we are. We’re the ones traveling on My Plane, remember? So scratch that. But we can still steal a few of those Singapore Airline girls, but make them funny, like the good people at Southwest Airlines.

Of course we’d have to include Virgin’s beauty therapy services on My Plane. Trust me when I tell you that I’ll be the first one in line for a manicure and massage. Yes, I know, I am working the flight, but don’t forget, when the flight attendant is happy, the passenger is happy. Or is it the other way around? I can’t remember. I’m too numb from my massage to remember. But all you need to remember is that you’re getting all this for Jet Blue prices. Could it get any better?

As for the flight attendant uniforms, personally I’d like to go with the Air France uniform. Have you seen it? Hello – can you say LOVE IT! As in Love it – Love it! As in there aren’t enough “love’s” in a sentence to possibly describe how I feel. That’s how much I love it. Seriously, if the airline I currently work for now had to merge with another airline, can we please please please merge with Air France! Please. Not that I want to merge. No flight attendant wants to merge. Not when seniority is involved. Because seniority, at an airline, is everything. More than everything. But if I HAD to merge, well that uniform might be kind of nice to merge into. Since it’s My Plane, and my uniform, it’s all about me, on My Plane. Oh and you, too. I guess.

What kind of food would we serve? That’s easy. Cathay Pacific, I hear, has the best food in the industry. At least that’s what The Husband once wrote via email from a Cathay flight. Let me tell you that email was long, and dedicated strictly to food. Apparently the food on Cathay is THAT good, as in two pages of email good. And who doesn’t want good food on a flight? I know I do. Which is why I always bring my own from home. When I can remember to bring my own from home. Which isn’t often. Since I don’t cook, that much, from home. Not since the husband made me promise never to cook again. Anyway, you know it’s all about the food on a flight, right? I mean isn’t that what you look for in an airline when you’re booking a trip? Of course it is. Otherwise you wouldn’t be complaining so much about the bad food. Or lack of food.

We should really go with Virgin Atlantic’s cabin interior. Neon florescent red and blue lights glowing throughout the cabin are definitely a must. Especially on a red eye flight. They scream HAPPY! Why, because you’re happy, happy to be on My Plane! Which also includes Virgin’s in-flight seat to seat chat. I wonder if that chat extends between passengers and flight attendants? If so, that means you can leave home without your stealth secret sound amplifier, the one you bought from Skymall, the same one I mentioned in my last post, the top five skymall gifts for the frequent flier (that’s you!) and just text me your drink order. Wouldn’t that be nice? And perhaps we could chat a little. Really get to know each other. Oh wait, you see someone cute oboard? Me, too! Just send that person a little text and don’t forget to add your seat number – in case that person happens to be wearing a very sophisticated blue uniform and wants to slide you a drink on the house for umm…ya know…for being so nice and all.

So whadaya say…should we go for it?