United to try checked luggage buffet

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Do you always travel with two bags to check? Some people don’t travel light, and they know that, in this new world of airline fees, they’re going to have to stomach an extra charge as a result. Under a new United Airlines plan, you’ll be able to “subscribe” to extra bag privileges. Instead of paying $20 for the first bag checked and $30 for the next one, you can shell out $249, buffet-style, and enjoy a full year of checking two bags.

This works for both domestic and international flights. The program pays for itself after a mere five trips. So, if you’re a road warrior or just like your vacation time, this could be a smart program for you.

But, don’t get too comfy: United is calling this an “introductory price.” If the program works well, expect your breakeven point to creep a bit higher next year.

Welcome to the first airline-owned restaurant!

by George Hobica on

Airfarewatchdog visited recently a new restaurant in our neighborhood and boy were we surprised at what we saw on the menu.

That’s right, diners! This restaurant is under new management! At Trans Air Airlines, we sure weren’t making money flying people places, so we thought what the heck, why not try the fine dining business to earn some “ancillary revenue” as we like to call it. While you’re waiting for your server to take your order, please enjoy reading about this exciting new concept!

First of all, we’ll now be giving discounts if you buy your meal online in advance of your visit. If you must cancel your reservation, we will provide a refund, minus a $100 “service fee” ($250 for foreign-sounding menu items, such as Coq au Vin). If you have commenced your meal but cannot finish it for any reason, there are no refunds. This applies, for example, if you choke on a fishbone, turn blue, and collapse face first into the mashed sweet potatoes.

And although we aim for exemplary service (we are Trans Air, after all), please be advised that from time to time, due to circumstances beyond our control or any other Force Majeure event (that’s a French term meaning “anything we refuse to take responsibility for”), we reserve the right to cancel your meal without notice. Or we may substitute an entrée of our choosing, say, the Steak and Frites a la Nonstop ($17.95 plus meals tax, sales tax, Federal meals excise tax, city kitchen inspection fee, electricity surcharge, and whatever other fees we can dream up now or in the future) with the Connection Burger ($7.95) or any other meal of our choice. As per our policy, in the event of such substitution you will receive a refund for any price difference, minus a “service fee” (see above). Meal delivery times are also not guaranteed, although delays of more than six hours are uncommon. Unfortunately, we require that you remain at your table while waiting.
And please be aware that if your steak frites special is burnt to a crisp when it finally arrives (delivery times are subject to change and cannot be guaranteed), you can’t send it back to the kitchen for a redo. Instead, please email our customer service department. They might send you a $5 coupon valid for your next meal. Or they might not. And please don’t hold your breath waiting for an apology from our overworked, taciturn waiters if they screw up your order. Most of them are furloughed Trans Air flight attendants and are on food stamps.

And please do not converse with your fellow diners while you wait, otherwise you may discover that the person at the next table paid only half what you did for his steak frites special. Please visit our Web site for our full contract of dining.

Also, while you wait for your meal, please refrain from filling in the comment cards. We are aware that the seats are thin and uncomfortable (we’re trying to keep costs down in order to offer you the best possible prices) and we know the tables are so crammed together you have to crawl under them to reach your chair.

You may have also noticed that our menu prices change several times a day (best to check online before leaving home).

Now a word about our fees. In order to keep menu prices low, we have instituted the following extra charges:

  • Coat check: $5 first item, $10 second item, $20 third and additional items
  • Napkins (paper): $1 per person
  • Napkins (cloth): $5 per person
  • Ketchup and mustard: $5 per item per table
  • Booster seats: $10 per child
  • Water refill: $1
  • Second water refill: $2
  • Third and subsequent refills: $3

These fees are subject to change without notice and are non refundable, even if the waiter forgets to provide them.

We regret that we have eliminated placemats, crayons and coloring books for the kiddies, flowers, and those plastic cocktail stirrers (use your plastic spoon please).

And if you’re fed up waiting, next time please try our VIP section (over there, behind the velvet ropes). Here you’ll experience an even better level of service. You’ll note that menu prices are about 10 times higher than in our “economy” section. We realize that most people scoff at the idea of a $700 hamburger deluxe, but to each his own.

A final note: we will be closing off part of the restaurant next month, reducing our seating capacity by 50 percent, and subsequently will be increasing our menu prices. However, we will continue to provide the same level of service you have come to expect. Business has been terrible lately (we have no clue why), and we hope that by providing fewer tables, eliminating staff, and introducing new fees, things will turn around. Fingers and toes crossed!

By now, you’ve probably been waiting quite a while for one of our dedicated “meal attendants” to take your order. Please be advised that because our staff has “timed out” (that’s industry speak for working the maximum number of hours permitted each day) you’ll need to stay where you are until breakfast (see aforementioned contract of dining). We recommend the waffles, priced at $2.95, $3.50, $5.00, $7.60, $9.15, and $10.95 depending on advance purchase.

Thanks for your understanding. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy your night.

George Hobica is the founder of Airfarewatchdog™, the most inclusive source of airfare deals that have been researched and verified by experts. Airfarewatchdog compares fares from all airlines and includes the increasing number of airline-site-only and promo code fares

Airline fees continue, necessary evil

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Yes, you’ve heard about this all year, and you’ll probably hear about it for a while to come. Airlines are still looking for ways to pull every dollar they can out of your wallets, but the reality is that they have no choice. Seven of the nine largest airlines in the United States had a rough time in August, making these measures more important than passengers might realize.

The second bag, according to an article in USA Today, remains the most popular fee target for airlines. Continental Airlines, US Airways and American Airlines recently announced that they are going to charge for this, and Hawaiian Airlines is going to charge passengers for the first checked bag on flights between islands beginning September 14, 2009.

I understand charging for checked luggage (the money has to come from somewhere), and I honestly don’t see charging for a second bag as a bad idea. Frankly, it can be pretty frustrating to stand in line behind someone who’s fumbling with more luggage than he or she can move along. The first bag? That’s a bit different. This fee could cause passengers to push the envelope with carry-ons, which is likely to trigger arguments with gate agents and flight attendants, tie up the boarding process and result in hefty doses of frustration for everyone else on the plane.

I’m more a fan of Southwest‘s new policy, which will put passengers at the front of the line – even ahead of frequent fliers and those paying premium fares – for a fee of $10 each way. Since the airline doesn’t assign seating, this small sum offers the chance to get the best seats on the plane. I’m not crazy about the notion that it comes at the expense of frequent flier comfort (alienating your best customers is rarely a good idea), but the price is low enough that these passengers would probably pay it anyway. For this perk, I’d definitely pay more than $10.

There’s money in extra fees, as we’ve discussed on Gadling in the past. Some analysts predict that these charges could be good for more than $2 billion a year for an industry that could definitely use it. The airlines need to be careful, though, as going to far could lead to disgruntled (and lost) customers.

Passengers, however, should be realistic. Fares are cheap. To make ends meet, airlines have been cutting flights and services, generally making the experience incredibly uncomfortable.

In fact, taking this approach to the extreme might be a good idea. Airlines could offer dirt-cheap prices for passengers who want nothing more than to get from one place to another. Then, if you want to enhance your experience – with a meal, cocktail or better seat – you can pay a little more. This à la carte approach would empower passengers to create their own experiences, ultimately improving customer service and airline responsiveness. To an extent, it’s already happening, but to make the strategy work, it would have to become part of a cohesive offer.

That said, airlines would have to be careful with their general cuts. Fewer flights, less legroom and degraded customer service affect everybody, and there’s no way to work improvements in based on price (with the exception of flying in business or first class, which involves a considerable price gap). Finding a middle ground could change both the airline industry and passenger perception of the flying experience.

Avoid high baggage fees – rent clothes from Zero Baggage

by Katie Hammel on

Airline baggage fees just keep going up, and there seems to be no end in sight. With few airlines left that don’t charge for checked bags, travelers who can’t manage to get everything they need into a carry-on bag could end up paying some hefty fees. One Canadian company has come up with a plan to help.

Zero Baggage promises to provide travelers with an “environmentally responsible, anxiety-free way of living and traveling”. How? By renting clothing. Travelers select the clothes they need to rent (either pre-worn or, for more money, brand new), Zero Baggage delivers them upon arrival, and the items are returned when no longer needed. Travelers have access to a wider variety of clothes, at less cost, and without having to pack a larger bag and pay checked-luggage fees.

Or at least, that’s the plan. The company says it will begin offering service in early 2010 in Toronto, Canada and Gold Coast, Australia.

As someone who has, over time, learned to get by with less and now rarely takes more than one carry-on for a trip of 2 weeks, I don’t think I would use the service. And even in an emergency (a fashion emergency), I’d probably just run out and buy something new. But it is an intriguing idea. What do you think?

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Airline fee backfires: skycaps win in Massachusetts court

by Tom Johansmeyer on

When American Airlines started to charge a $2 fee for curbside baggage check-in, the skycaps lost their tips. Passengers were accustomed to paying $2 or so, it seems, and weren’t going to amp up the cash flow just because the money was going into a different pocket. So, nine Logan Airport skycaps – current and former – just came into $325,000, thanks to the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, which ruled based on a law intended to protect wages and tips.

American Airlines tried to get by on a technicality, saying eight of the nine skycaps were subcontractors (working for G2 Secure Staff) and thus weren’t protected. The court disagreed, favoring broader protection. But, it isn’t over yet. American Airlines, according to a report in USA Today, is evaluating “all of its legal options.”