Would you pay for an empty bladder?

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Aaron Hotfelder votes “Yes!” for Ryanair‘s pay-to-play approach to in-flight urination. I go with more of a “maybe,” as I tend to support anything that helps airlines bring in a bit more cash – after all, they need it. But, I can see why the average passenger wouldn’t be too thrilled about popping a few coins in the slot. Apparently, there are plenty of people out there with opinions.

TripAdvisor just conducted an online poll; 5,300 people responded. The results are as predictable as you’d expect. An overwhelming 78 percent of respondents are not interested in shelling out cash for the privilege of flushing. Can you blame ’em? When you stroll down the aisle toward that green light (i.e., “vacant”), you have one thing on your mind, and it isn’t the change in your pocket. Another 19 percent feel that pay-to-pee is reasonable … if the flight is cheap enough. The remaining 3 percent would be willing to pay regardless of the cost of the flight.

Thankfully, Ryanair tends to stay short-haul, so if you hit the bathroom before you board, you should be fine until landing.

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More crazy stories from the skies

Pay to pee on Ryanair no joke

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Remember when we called Ryanair’s plans to charge for lavatory access a stunt? Yeah, we do, too. Those were simpler days, I guess. It turns out, that stunt concealed an even larger one. CEO Michael O’Leary announced that the airline will begin charging one pound (around $1.65) for access to the special rooms at the front and back of the plane.

I actually see some restraint on the press-whorish CEO’s part. I expected him to break the fee down by bodily function, charging a premium for what results in a bit more time. After all, time is money, and one person’s long stay could cost a few extra bucks because other passengers may not get their turns.

But, the savvy airline leader is hedging his bets … as he did with the fat tax, which is now off the table (O’Leary calls it “impractical”). No start date has been revealed; only a two-year time horizon was given. But, he does say, “We are serious about it.”

There’s only one way to make this better, and O’Leary’s found it. Instead of charging for the existing abundance, he’s planning to tear a few out of each plan, in order to make room for more seats. This works in two ways. First, there are more people on the plane who become potential piss-payers. Also, there are fewer lavs, creating a scarcity of resources.

Delta backtracks on extra bag fees

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Delta is caving to competitive pressures, cutting its plans for extra bag fees on international flights. The airline says that others have not matched its fee of $50 for the second bag checked on international flights. Now, it will only apply to travel between the United States and Europe. The fee is effective July 1, 2009.

Originally, this new fee was supposed to bring the battered airline (aren’t they all?) – which also happens to be the world’s largest – another $100 million in revenue. That’s a lot of cash, but it’s probably realistic. After all, fees for extra bags brought Delta an additional $177 million in 2008, and it was good for an extra $1 billion for the airline industry as a whole.

First and business class passenger are exempt, given the exorbitant sums they’re laying out already. Also, active military passengers will not have to pay for a second bag – which is as it should be.

Misery works: airlines making money on baggage fees

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The one thing nobody says about the “nickel and dime” strategy is that it can work. For the airline industry, charging passengers for extra bags translated to more than $1 billion in lifeblood to a struggling business last year, according to the Department of Transportation. As much as you may hate to shell out that extra cash, last year, it went to businesses that desperately needed it.

Before the financial decay spread to every corner of the business community last year, airlines typically allowed two pieces of checked luggage per person and charged for anything else that followed. Then, United Airlines started demanding that passengers throw down $25 for a second bag, with US Airways following to the tune of $15.

It adds. Up. United brought in an extra $133 million. Delta picked up an extra $177 million. American Airlines wins with $278 million last year from baggage fees. Even Southwest Airlines pulled in an extra $25 million. Rick Seaney, CEO of Farecompare.com, believes that baggage fees could be worth up to $3.5 billion in 2009.

March airline plunge softens in April

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Passenger traffic is still falling. That’s not going to change for a while. But, the decline slowed in April, signaling that the prolonged sharp dips may be behind us. Some optimists even believe that the worst is over – though I maintain a healthy skepticism.

Note the metric being used: passenger traffic. There’s a lot of mileage between asses in seats and money in the bank. On a positive note, increased passenger traffic means that more people are spending money on travel. Of course, deep discounts are responsible in large part for the increasing traffic. The value of these passengers in dollar terms, therefore, is quite low.

United Airlines reported a traffic drop of 10.5 percent in April 2009 relative to the same month in 2008. Delta and American sustained smaller declines. Southwest, meanwhile, showed a 4.1 percent increase.

And, fares fell.

The average one-way domestic fare paid in the first quarter of 2008 was $213 – compared to $246 for full-year 2008.

For now, however, the airlines believe it’s better to sell seats at any price, especially if they have to put a plane in the air anyway.