10 Passengers we love to, umm….not like as much as the others: Day 4 – The passenger who tries to score a free first class seat

by Heather Poole on

In Grant Martin’s post, The top 5 myth’s about getting an upgrade, he wrote…

Flight attendants have no control over who gets upgraded when there always might be one last business class passenger coming down the jet bridge right before departure, so they can’t give away a seat. After the boarding door is closed? Maybe if you’re discreet, but with everyone watching, the flight attendant will most definitely say no.

Now I don’t know if Grant was ever a flight attendant, dated a flight attendant, or spends a lot of time in the galley talking to flight attendants, but he’s absolutely right! Flight attendants do not have upgrading powers. But agents do, so make sure to talk to one before you board. That said, the only passengers I’ve ever seen upgraded for free after the door has been shut were uniformed military personel…and…well…they kind of deserve it, don’t ya think?

Below is a list of 10 types of passengers who don’t deserve an upgrade, but give it a shot anyway….

1. I-think-I’m-a-frequent-flier passenger – “I’m a frequent flier and…” That’s how it starts. First of all, I can spot a frequent flier a mile away, so please don’t tell me how many miles you’ve flown because that’s my first clue you haven’t flown as often as you think, not compared to our frequent fliers today. See those passengers sitting in the exit row, as well as the first three rows of coach? Those passengers are at the top of the upgrade list. The best seats on the airplane are held and/or blocked for passengers who fly tens of thousands of miles each year. Anyway, real frequent fliers know the drill, they know what to expect, and they know where, exactly, their name is on the upgrade list, which means I don’t have to tell them they won’t be getting an upgrade, the way I’m telling you, because they know, that I know, that they know exactly what’s going on.

2. The curious passenger – “Hmm…I was wondering…is first class available?” asks the passenger who has just sauntered very…slowly…down…the aisle, checking out all the empty seats in first and business class on their way to their seat in coach. The answer to this question is no. First class is almost always booked full, so just because you see a few open seats does not mean those seats are available. Many of our frequent fliers spend time relaxing in private airline clubs and often times will be last to board the flight. If for whatever reason Mr. First Class does not make the flight, Mr. Exit Row will be taking the seat before you.

3. The injured passenger – Comes on board limping, moaning and groaning as soon as he/she spots me standing at the aircraft door greeting passengers and immediately begins the old bad back and knee routine. There’s no way they’ll be able to endure an entire flight cramped in a coach seat, I’m told, even though they already knew this when they purchased their tickets in coach online months ago. Hey I feel your pain, I know flying is not easy, but that does not equate to a free upgrade. However, if I can find a few extra pillows and blankets (they’re not always on board), I’ll do whatever I can to make your flight more comfortable. Just keep in mind there’s only so much I can do.

4. The inconvenienced passenger – Either their headsets don’t work, the reading light is out, the seat doesn’t recline, I ran out of the beverage of their choice, or there’s a smelly person sitting beside them, whatever it is, and it’s always something, they believe they’re entitled to a first class seat because of the inconvenience. If there’s another seat available in coach, you’re more than welcome to it, but there’s no way I’m moving you from coach to first class when there are seats available. Click here to find out why.

5. The charming passenger – “Wow, what a great smile,” says the passenger who is now squinting at my gold plated name tag pinned to my blue lapel. “So how are you doing today, Heather?” Although this passenger is always nice and polite, my favorite kind of passenger, whenever someone uses my name the alarm in my brain automatically begins to ring – alert, alert, special request coming! Nine times out of ten this passenger works in sales and while they may be successful on the ground, they’re not so successful at 35,000 feet.

6. The ill passenger – I wrote about this passenger in great detail in the Galley Gossip post, The passenger didn’t ask for much. Oh you remember her, the passenger who asked for a first class seat, a business class mug, help to the bathroom, uncooked veggies and potatoes, and then had the nerve to tell me she would be deplaning first, even though she sat in coach. Look, I’m sorry you’re sick and I’ll bring you all the Ginger ale, hot tea, damp towels, and barf bags you need, but just because you don’t feel well does not give you the right to a first class seat, not when you should really be at home, not barfing all over our premium passengers.

7. The surprised passenger – This passenger seems genuinely shocked to learn you have to actually pay for a first class seat. I’ve seen this passenger wander on board and make themselves comfortable in a plush leather seat located in one of the first rows of the airplane, reclining the seat all the way back, propping their feet on the foot rest, and treating themselves to a glass of champagne. “I just thought you might be nice,” a passenger once said after I told her she and her husband could not stow away in first class, not when they paid for a seat in coach. While I am nice, I’m not that nice.

8. The honeymooning passenger – Whenever someone tells me it’s their honeymoon, I know exactly what they want, big time special treatment. And I give it to them. I ask about their wedding and talk to them about where they’re going and I might even make an announcement to congratulate the happy couple. But I don’t move them up to first class. Even when times were good and airlines weren’t furloughing employees and going into bankruptcy every other week, I didn’t upgrade honeymooners just because they decided to take their relationship to the next level and tie the knot.

9 The celebrity passenger – I’m a celebrity get me out of here! is not just a television show, because I’ve actually seen it happen on the airplane. Now I’m not naming names, but years ago I had a very famous singer known for his long blond locks who purchased a seat in coach and then demanded to be upgraded for free because he said he’d be “mobbed” in coach. All I can say is, my how times have changed. Because today I’m pretty sure that the singer who recently broke up with – I better not say – only wishes he could get mobbed in coach.

10. The combination passenger – This is the worst type of passenger, Pulling every trick in the book, this passenger has no shame and will stop at nothing in their quest for a free upgrade. Trust me when I tell you there’s always a multiple number of issues going on here. Like sometimes they’re honeymooning and inconvenienced, while other times they’re injured and also charming. It doesn’t matter what they are, they just are, and I’m the lucky one who gets to hear all about it until the end of the flight.

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Get $4 off your next GoGo inflight internet

by Grant Martin on

Now that internet is becoming commonplace in many of the nation’s airlines, cheapasses like myself are trying to find a way to get it for free. Honestly, should it cost 1/2 as much as a month of internet at home to check your email on a 5 hour flight to Los Angeles? Furthermore, shouldn’t people in first class get wireless for free?

I digress. Once supply fills in I hope that internet prices will go down. In the meantime, use the code 4wifi to get $4 off your subscription of $13 or $10 respectively. No, 5wifi or 50wifi does not take more money off. I tried.

Use the code on GoGo enabled flights, including Air Canada, Air Tran, American, Delta, United and Virgin America.

4wifi expires July 2nd. Check out more details about Gogo at their site.

Galley Gossip: Airline uniforms (plus a chance to win free tickets on Olympic Airlines)

by Heather Poole on

Just like Cliff Muskiet, the uniform freak, I have a thing for airline uniforms. I think most flight attendants do. In fact, inside my guestroom closet hangs three different uniform styles from two different airlines. I’ve saved it all – the pants, the skirts, the dresses, the jackets, the vests, the blouses, the wings, and even the blue tie I snapped around my neck and the epaulets I wore on both shoulders with the pleated Bermuda shorts and high heels at Sun Jet International Airlines. Talk about embarrassing. I still own everything except for the silky red and blue scarf I wore thirteen years ago when I first got hired to fly for the airline I currently work for. Oh how I wish I still had that scarf. I wore it off to the side, tied in a knot around my neck. That simple scarf made the conservative navy blue polyester uniform appear sexy and feminine.

“I loved that navy blue coat dress we wore years ago,” said Cady, an ex flight attendant who is also my very best friend.

Personally, I prefer the look of the white starched blouse paired with the navy blue knee length skirt and fitted blazer, even though I always end up wearing the uniform dress. As a commuter, I have to pack what’s easy.

Now my all time favorite airline uniform is worn by the flight attendants of Air France. Though they look great, I’m not quite sure how I would actually feel about serving drinks while wearing the big red bow at 35,000 feet. Delta looks fantastic in navy blue with just a hint of red. However the white bell sleeves, while stylish, seem like they could easily get dirty. That could be a problem for me. I’m a bit of a mess when I get stuck working in the galley, and a dirty uniform is an ugly uniform. Emirates‘ uniform is pretty nice – that is if you look good in Khaki and don’t mind wearing a head scarf. The worst airline uniform has to be First Choice Airways. I mean seriously, pink?

As I began writing this post, I wondered what others thought about all the different airline uniforms, so I posed the question, which airlines have the best uniforms, on twitter.com and here’s what a few people had to say…

  • Flyingphotog: ” I think Virgin Atlantic’s uniforms are awesome. They’ll make you turn your head. Well… at least if you’re a guy they will. US Airways f/a uniforms are super-boring.
  • Paulrobichaux: “I really like Delta’s red-dress uniform. very classy looking.”
  • HeatherMark: “I love Delta’s red wrap dress. The fabric doesn’t look breathable, tho. Those Virgin girls always look fabu, too.
  • Wkali13: “I’m partial to Delta’s uniforms. They always look so professional.”
  • CBI28: “best uniform: Air France-I love that dress with the red bow. Worst-First Choice in Britain, a.k.a. the pink flamingos”
  • Mathew: “Best – Quantas long haul. Worst is Virgin Atlantic & United Airlines
  • Brajit: “AAs uniforms are dowdy. Skybus uniforms were AWFUL! “
  • AKnickerson: “Worst? Don’t know. But best: Korean Air. They are gorgeous! Very chic!”
  • Clipperkid747: “I like Lufthansa uniforms. They do look classy.
  • Tlonyc: “Got to like the laid back look of Southwest, but not as much as Delta. United and US Airways at the bottom.”
  • Stgabriel08: “if you are including foreign airlines, thumbs up to Emirates and Thai Air, thumbs down to Singapore Air”
  • Tyflyguy: “my vote for worst uniform HAS to be Southwest.”
  • FlightattdntJen: “oh God!The old Air Canada green ones: HIDEOUS! Affectionately named by passengers as the “vagina dress” Yay for new ones!”

Okay, for the record, I have never heard of the vagina dress, but now I must see it, so I emailed Jen and asked her to send me a photo. She said she would.

So why all this talk about flight attendant uniforms? Because Olympic Airlines’ flight attendants and pilots are getting new uniforms and you can help choose the final design. You’ve got until June 7th to vote, so click here to go to the website and pick your favorite uniform design. A few voters will even be chosen to win airplane tickets to destinations in Greece and abroad! Warning: the website is not in English. But good luck anyway!

For those of you still with me, I hope you enjoy this youtube video featuring airline uniforms of yesterday and today…

Photo courtesy of (two flight attendants) Dmytrok, (flight attendant in red) Sagado Corazon

Delta backtracks on extra bag fees

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Delta is caving to competitive pressures, cutting its plans for extra bag fees on international flights. The airline says that others have not matched its fee of $50 for the second bag checked on international flights. Now, it will only apply to travel between the United States and Europe. The fee is effective July 1, 2009.

Originally, this new fee was supposed to bring the battered airline (aren’t they all?) – which also happens to be the world’s largest – another $100 million in revenue. That’s a lot of cash, but it’s probably realistic. After all, fees for extra bags brought Delta an additional $177 million in 2008, and it was good for an extra $1 billion for the airline industry as a whole.

First and business class passenger are exempt, given the exorbitant sums they’re laying out already. Also, active military passengers will not have to pay for a second bag – which is as it should be.

Flight attendants on hunger strike

by Annie Scott on

It’s hard for most of us to imagine a situation so dire it would inspire us to go on hunger strike. Sadly, that is not the case for the Russian flight attendants who were not paid for eight months of work when their airline folded.

According to United Press International:
“KrasAir ceased operations last October when it ran out of cash, the news service said. Part of the AirUnion alliance, the carrier had about 2,500 employees and folded owing an estimated $10 million in back wages to its employees.”

RFERL reports that not nine (as state by UPI), but seventeen flight attendants stopped eating on May 14. Six of the flight attendants have been hospitalized.

In this economy, I think we all know the fear that we’d lose our jobs — but to not be paid for eight months of work? And have absolutely no power to demand it? Maybe I’d go on hunger strike, too. Well stated on Wikipedia: “A hunger strike cannot be effective if the fact that it is being undertaken is not publicized so as to be known by the people who are to be impressed, concerned or embarrassed by it.” So here I am, publicizing it. Pay your employees, KrasAir!

Former KrasAir flight attendants not participating in the strike are reportedly planning to rally today near the KrasAir offices in Krasnoyarsk.