How to look like an experienced traveler at the airport (even if you are not)

by Scott Carmichael on

Summer is quickly approaching, which means a large number of you will be heading to the airport for your summer vacation. If you are one of the many people in the country that only visits the airport once a year, then chances are you are going to be quite unprepared for what the airport has to offer.

In this article, you’ll find some simple ways to arrive at the airport, and not look like a once-a-year traveler. In fact, with these tips, you’ll appear to be the kind of person who gets on and off planes on a weekly basis.

Know how to pack

Planning for your trip, and being prepared for the airport starts at home, so the first couple of tips all take place long before you head for the airport.

This one may sound really stupid, but if you have not been paying attention to developments in airport security, you may still be packing full sized bottles of toiletries in your carry-on, and spreading all your stuff between 4 suitcases.

Check the web site of your airline to see what their most up to date luggage rules are. You’ll be surprised how many airlines are now charging for checked luggage. Even the big carriers want to see some cash before accepting your bags. A family of 4 may see airport luggage fees as high as $200, which would make a pretty big dent in your vacation budget before you even reach your destination.


Leave all those stickers on your luggage

Since this article is all about appearing to be an experienced traveler, you’ll want to do anything you can to create the appearance that you are a seasoned world traveler.

So, when you dig your suitcase out of the garage, don’t peel all the stickers from previous trips off the bag. Do remove any old checked luggage tags, as they will only confuse the bar code scanners at the airport.

If you still have airline logo tags or priority tags on your bag, leave them on, the same goes for hotel stickers or anything else that shows how often you are on the road.

Sign-up for the frequent flier program

Even if you only plan to use your airline once, be sure to sign-up for their frequent flier program.

Being an entry level member of the airline won’t get you a single perk, and most airlines won’t even bother sending a membership card until after your first flight with them, but every mile earned may come in handy one day.

In a really rare event, the airline may pick you if they are looking for people to upgrade, but that would only be in the event they don’t have any elite members to select from.

Online check-in is your friend

It has been a long time since a trip to the airport involved walking up to a counter to check-in. Sure, some airlines may still have a couple of desks with a real person, but the terminal long line of manned desks disappeared years ago.

If you want to be an experienced traveler, get on your computer and check-in the day before your flight. The advantage of this is that you’ll be able to pick your own seat, and may even be offered an affordable upgrade to a slightly better seat.

Before you actually pick that seat, be sure to visit Seat Guru to check out a seat map of your plane (you’ll find the plane type during your check-in screen). Many of these seats have some descriptions, and really bad seats come with warnings. Seat Guru will also let you know where to find exit row seats, because your chance of getting an exit row seat assigned at the airport is next to nothing.

Your boarding pass will come out of your own printer, but even if you can’t print right away, just check-in, to lock in your seat choice and use an airline kiosk at the airport to print your boarding documents.

Your luggage says a lot about you

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that old leather luggage with spinning wheels is not of this era.

If you want to look like you are at the airport every week, then get yourself something modern.

Also remember that airlines hate luggage, and anyone in contact with passenger luggage will do anything in their power to destroy it, so be sure to travel with luggage that can survive a couple of trips.


Don’t be an amateur at the security line

One of the number one pet peeves of any frequent flier at the airport is amateurs clogging up the security line.

Help everyone from delays and aggravation by preparing yourself for the checkpoint. Empty your pockets completely. Do not assume that your massive belt buckle or watch won’t set off the metal detector. Assign a portion of your carry-on luggage for items you will send through the X-Ray machine.

Before you approach the checkpoint, go through all your pockets to be sure they are empty. Then be sure that you have your ID and boarding pass available for the checker at the security line. You may need to show your ID and boarding pass twice – so be sure you don’t pack it away after the first checkpoint.

If you are carrying a laptop computer, be sure you can get it out quickly, and place it in its own in a plastic bin (or invest in a security checkpoint friendly bag).

For several years, the TSA has prohibited passengers from carrying any liquids in containers over 3 ounces, and ALL liquids must be carried in a single quart size bag.

This “3-1-1” rule is explained on the TSA web site, so be sure to read through their rules before you pack your carry-on. Remember, this rule only applies to your carry-on, checked baggage is not included in these rules.

Be prepared at the gate

Once you reach your boarding gate (on time), take a seat and pay attention to the announcements. Many airlines use a boarding group system for getting passengers on the plane. On most airlines, this system will allow elite members of their frequent flier program to board first, followed by passengers in the first and business class cabin, followed by less elite members, then on to the regular passengers.

If you are really unlucky, you may be in one of the last boarding groups, which means it could take as long as 45 minutes from the time boarding commences to the time you can actually get on the plane. By then, it is not unlikely that you won’t find anywhere to store your luggage. Prepare for this by making sure anything important can be grabbed out of your carry-on in a matter of seconds, because unlucky passengers may find themselves in the back of the plane, with their bag in the front, and the last thing you want to do is walk all the way up front each time you need something from it.

Do everyone a favor, and don’t be one of those passengers that stands next to the boarding gate expecting to be the first person on board – a plane is not a train, and chances are you’ll only get in the way. Of course, if you are a top tier elite member flying in first class then feel free to ignore my advise.

If you carry medication, an iPod, or anything else you don’t want to fly without, pack it in your jacket. That way you won’t be in trouble if you do need to say goodbye to your bag.

Be prepared on the plane

I’m aware that not everyone gets on a plane every month, but ever since the early 1940’s, plane seating rows have been numbered, and those numbers start at 1 and go up at every row.

If you are seated in row 50, it does not make much sense to try and find your seat in the business class cabin in the front of the plane. You’d be amazed how many passengers get on board, then spend their first minutes trying to determine whether row 48 is next to row 2.

If you are in a really bad boarding group, then it may be worth paying the airline for an upgrade.

United Airlines is a good example of an airline that will try and nickel and dime you any chance they get – but on many flights, $50 may move you from the back of the plane to a slightly better coach seat.

This better seat often includes using the elite security line, and being moved into boarding group 1. You may also get an offer for an upgrade from coach to business or first class, but expect to pay several times your ticket price for that “luxury”. Save yourself some money by seeing whether you are given upgrade options at the check-in kiosk at the airport. Also, consider asking the gate agent if they have any paid upgrades available (this really only applies to United Airlines and their Economy Plus seating).

And finally – do everyone on the plane a favor, and get into your seat as soon as you possibly can. Nothing is more annoying than a single passenger taking 5 minutes to get his or her bags in the overhead bin, especially if it is delaying 100 fellow passengers.

If you can’t find a spot for your bag, sit down and keep it on your lap until a flight attendant reaches you. Don’t bother trying to walk up all 50 rows to the front of the plane, as every single thing you do will only delay boarding. Flight attendants will help you before the plane leaves the gate, so don’t worry about that bag.

Airport puffer program scrapped – millions wasted

by Scott Carmichael on

It is no secret that the government can be a huge source of wasteful spending, but seldom is money wasted as swiftly as when it comes to purchases for our “national security”.

In 2004, the Department of Homeland Security purchased 207 “puffer machines” to deploy around the various airports.

These machines cost $160,000 each, and despite this insane price, they would break down quite regularly. Simple things like dirt and humidity could render the machines unusable, raising the yearly operating costs to just under $50,000 (per machine!).

Total loss: $33 Million.

Worst of all, only 94 of these expensive contraptions were actually put into service protecting us – the rest are still in a warehouse awaiting airport deployment, something that will never happen.

I hope they’ll be able to get a good price for them on Ebay, though I doubt they’ll ever fetch anything close to the $17 Million the taxpayer spent on them, even if they are new in box.

Scrapping the program won’t bother the TSA too much, they are about to spend close to $50 Million on those nifty new full body image scanners.

Test driving Clear Security

by Grant Martin on

Well that took for ever. On January 19th of this year, I took the opportunity to sign up for a free trial of Clear Security. Designed to help the frequent traveler pass through airport security checkpoints faster, the system takes several biometric data from the passenger and in exchange returns expedited service through security. They have kiosks at over a dozen of the largest airports in the country (and some venues) marked with a light blue Clear cube.

Whether the service is useful, saves time, is worth the money or is truly secure is a good, relevant question, but for now we’ll focus on the logistics of Clear Security operation.

Signing up for the Clear program is a two step process. Interested travelers must first go to flyclear.com where any number of coupons will earn you discounted or free service for a few months. At the site, you give normal registration data and authorize the collection of “excess data,” which are the biometrics with which you’ll identify yourself in the future. Clear will also ask if they can share your retinal data with NIST (National Institute for Standards and Technology) for research purposes, but you can decline this.

Once you provide billing information, you’re required to go to the airport for the second half of enrollment. At any kiosk outside of security, you basically explain that you signed up online and need to provide additional info, then an agent will assist you in providing your biometrics. Passing through Chicago on my way to Boston this January, I took this chance. Each of my ten fingers was scanned separately, then I stepped back at the machine and stared at the window while it scanned my irises. After that, I headed my own way with the knowledge that my card would arrive in 2 – 4 weeks.
It took me three attempts and nearly that many months to finally use my Clear security card. Not every airport hosts the system, and my home McNamara terminal at Detroit Metro isn’t one of them, so I had to wait until I passed through one of the cities to try out the service.

The first time was in LaGuardia airport, departing from New York into Detroit on a 6AM flight. Reaching the airport with my Clear security card eagerly in hand, I was disappointed to find out that that the lane wasn’t open. Operating hours vary by airport and in this case, I was too early to indulge. My fault.

Passing through of Boston‘s airport a few weeks back, I missed my second chance. As Northwest Airlines has just switched terminals at Logan, I was unprepared when I arrived at Terminal 1 at 5:30AM and found an outrageously long line at security. Clear’s lane was empty.

The next week I came prepared. It turns out the line wasn’t as long as it was 7 days earlier, but determined to use my status I marched towards the checkpoint wielding my Clear card. With no line in front me, I approached the kiosk and was greeted by a friendly attendant who took my boarding pass and watched me insert my card. In turn, the machine asked me for a random biometric. In this case, it asked for my right thumb, and I willingly obliged. According to the agent I could have chosen another metric, including any of my other fingers or my retinas, but my thumb print would suffice for now.

A fraction of a second later the machine beeped, the attendant checked my boarding pass and I was ushered towards an x-ray line.

It’s important to remind you at this point that Clear does not circumvent your requirement to go through the metal detector, screen your bags or pack 100mL containers. The real time saved is in the avoidance of oft lengthly lines to get your boarding pass screened. In some airports, after screening you merge with the regular line in front of the metal detector. In others, you get access to your own quasi-personal line.

This was the case in Boston, where the absolute nicest Clear agent was scrambling around picking up plastic bins for passengers. While I could have easily leaned over and picked up my own plastic tub, I appreciated the gesture and effort that this poor guy was putting into his job.

At this point, all passengers converged and the benefits of Clear ended. The total time I saved in Boston? This time I probably saved about three minutes. Last week I would have saved about a half hour. And that could make a big difference when you reach the airport at 5:45 for your 6AM flight.

For what it’s worth, now that my three month Clear trial is almost up my account is automatically expiring. This is a nice because I don’t have to worry about remembering to cancel the service to avoid hefty annual fees. That said, if you get the opportunity to try the service out for free, give it a go. It’s worth trying for no obligation, right?

Delta passenger busts open exit door at JFK

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Every passenger stuck on the ground fantasizes about busting open the door and liberating people on the plane. For me, it usually involves the battle cry, “I GRANT YOU FREEDOM!!!” Of course, I’m no Robert McDonald. He acted on these urges during a delay at John F. Kennedy International Airport (yep, no surprise there).

The Glasgow, Scotland resident was charged with reckless and endangerment and criminal tampering for his shenanigans, which involved opening the emergency exit hatch. The cabin crew stopped McDonald before he could open the door enough to activate the emergency chute.

Delta Flight 149, which had just come from Rome and was to finish in Las Vegas, was stuck on the tarmac for close to three hours when the angry Scot had had enough. Local District Attorney Richard Brown offered a “no shit” explanation that highlights the benefits of a top legal education: “Apparently, the defendant wanted to get off the plane,” District Attorney Richard Brown said, “so he opened the emergency exit door.”

Ultimately, McDonald’s act of defiance ruined the evening for the 146 passengers on Flight 149. McDonald, who is 60 years old, risks spending the next one in prison if he’s convicted.

Lousiana Senator David Vitter throws fit at the airport

by Annie Scott on

Louisiana Sen David Vitter missed his plane at Dulles Airport last Wednesday, and he was not amused.

Vitter, who recently gained infamy after being identified on the D.C. Madam’s Phone List, found his gate closed, so he went through an armed security door. Why not? He’s got that Senator’s pin, after all, right? That gives you access to all areas of the airport … right?

As you might expect, an alarm went off as he then tried to verbally rip an unsuspecting United Airlines gate attendant a new one. Apparently, he even tried to pull rank. Come on. Would that even work in his home state?

When the employee exited to find a security guard, Vitter ran away. What a maverick. According to The Raw Story, “Vitter’s spokeperson did not dispute the incident.”

Check out these other stories from the airport checkpoint!