Carnival cruise passengers spend weekend in Antigua … in jail

It looks like Carnival could use some new passengers. Not even a week after banning a family for life – and then reversing the ban – six passengers on one of its ships have been detained in Antigua. Now, if you’re going to get stuck someplace, Antigua isn’t bad, but I’d rather be in a resort than involved with the criminal justice system – it just seems more fun.

Dolores Lalanne, 25, Mike Pierre Paul, 24, Joshua Jackson, 25, Shoshonnah Henry, 24, Nancy Lalanne, 22, and Rachael Henry, 27 have been charged with assault, battery and malicious damage. A fight over cab fare got out of hand and turned into an altercation with the local police. They are being held in Antigua until trial.

The alleged fight broke out on Friday, when the Carnival Victory passengers got off the ship for a 10-hour port call. The passengers refused to pay a cab driver, claiming they were being overcharged. Original reports of the story say that the cab driver quoted a $50 price for a tour that would end at a beach. He later told them, supposedly, that it would cost more to get back to the ship. The driver drove the passengers to a police station, which is where the fight is said to have broken out.

After spending the weekend in jail, the passengers were released on $5,000 bail but had to give up their travel documents and check in with the court regularly. Apparently, jail is unpleasant in Antigua, particularly because of the mosquitoes.

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San Diego homeless man gets 14 years for beating, burning Aussie tourist

Damian Maple, a homeless man in San Diego, was sentenced to 14 years in prison for beating an Australian tourist, Robert Schneider, with a skateboard and dragging him into a fire pit. Maple went down for attempted murder for attacking the 26-year-old Adelaide resident in 2008.

Maple’s accomplice, Francisco Montoya, was sentenced to two years in prison for assault with a deadly weapon. Montoya is also homeless.

According to a witness, Schneider threw sand in Montoya’s face, prompting the latter to attack the former. Maple encouraged Montoya and then dragged the unconscious Australian tourist into a smoldering fire pit. Schneider’s injuries – including burns and a skull fracture – put him in the hospital for several weeks.

Drunk mailman threatens mayhem, grounded for half decade

Why is it always the postmen?

Robert Russell had added “former” to his “mail carrier” title after being laid off by Royal Mail. So, he took a trip to Malaga, Spain. This isn’t unusual; plenty of people do something nice for themselves after losing their jobs. It’s great for morale.

It didn’t work.

Russell got wasted on lager and vodka in the Gatwick departure lounge. By the time he was literally flying high, he threatened to kill his fellow passengers and at one point tried to get off the plane early … via an emergency exit at 30,000 feet. The closest thing to a caring moment was when this unruly passenger yelled at a flight attendant, “Oi, blondie. Come and sit here so I can stroke you.”

Touching.

At one point, he said he would take down the entire plane … an awfully ambitious claim for a guy who couldn’t get the emergency door open. Eventually, crew and passengers were able to subdue the former postal employee, following his physical display of stereotype. .

All this happened on October 15, 2008. The Brighton Crown Court has finally ruled. Russell is banned from every airport in the United Kingdom for five years and will have to pay a fine of £4,643. A 12-month prison sentence was suspended for two years. And, in case there’s hope for the passenger’s humanity, he’s been ordered to complete 200 hours of community service.

As crazy as this incident sounds, in-flight disruptions are more common in Gatwick than you may realize. Sussex Police had to address 58 incidents on planes last year … an increase of almost 20 percent from the 50 in 2007.

Flight crew tasty, but off-limits

Man bites dog? Well, woman bites fight attendant (or tries to, at least).

A Russian-born British woman will be spending the weekend in a Maine jail this weekend. She’s accused of having popped some prescription drugs and washed them down with a few bottles of wine and – you can’t make this stuff up – liquid soap from the plane’s lavatory.

Amazingly, she had the energy to rumble with flight attendants after pouring this unique cocktail down her throat. She punched and kicked the FAs before snapping at them “like a dog.” According to an Associated Press report, she tried to bite one of them.

The London-bound flight was diverted to Bangor, thanks to her antics.

So, what brings a flight attendant-hungry passenger to the United States? Internet dating. Apparently, Galina Rusanova went to Los Angeles to see in person a man she met via the web. Her adventure will come to something of a conclusion on Monday, when she’s scheduled to appear in U.S. District Court to face charges of assault and interference with a flight crew.

Hey, here’s a tip: don’t drink the soap!