How to tell a true dive bar from a fake

by Katie Hammel on
The term “dive bar” gets bandied about a little too often. Here in Chicago and in other big cities around the world, many bars that bills themselves as “dives” are really just hipster bars pretending to be dives (First clue: a real dive bar never calls itself a dive). Like a $75 trucker hat, it screams “Hey, look at me! I’m so unpretentious. Just one of the ‘regular old folks.” Don’t be fooled by these cheap imitations. At a real dive bar, no one cares who made your jeans, what your favorite Wilco song is, or if they can get your number. Here are a few other ways to tell the difference.

In a real dive bar:

one of the following things is on the “menu”: hard-boiled eggs, Jeppson’s Malort (a kind of Swedish Schnapps made in Chicago, it’s made with alcohol and wormwood), or shoestring potatoes (unshelled peanuts will also do). A real dive bar isn’t going to mess around with a bunch of different dishes. It does one thing and it does it well. If if it does offer food, it’s generally of the deep-fried variety. If if doesn’t offer food, you can order in.

cash is the only way to pay. Put your cash on the bar when you walk in. Tip well after every drink and somehow the bartender will make your meager pile of bills last as long as you want it to. Just leave any remaining cash when you go and you’ll always be welcome back.there is a screen door, or a secret buzzer gets you access. Dive bars don’t bother with AC, they just open the door and let the summer breeze inside. “Hidden” speakeasy bars may be trendy now, but secret dives have existed for decades. Regulars don’t want their favorite haunt taken over by hipsters, so staying under the radar is necessary.

there is an Old Style sign or some other large plastic/neon beer sign outside. Real dive bars advertise their best asset – beer – front and center.

whenever someone enters, practically the whole bar says hello. A true dive earns faithful regulars. It’s a place to drink and a place to meet up with longtime friends. If the bar is filled with strangers standing in groups, or worse, singles looking to mingle, you’ve walked into a faux dive.

Bonus points if the bar has a resident cat or dog known to all the regulars, or if the name of the person tending bar is the same as the name of the bar itself.

A real dive bar does not:

offer free wi-fi. If anyone inside is working on a laptop, turn tail and run. It’s not a real dive bar.

employ bartenders under the age of 40 years old. Especially heavily tattooed under-40 male bartenders who wear eyeliner. If the bartender, or the majority of the patrons, are wearing skinny jeans or look like they’re members of Fall Out Boy, it is most definitely not a true dive bar.

have a photo booth, especially a “vintage” one that charges $4 for pictures. The only acceptable forms of entertainment in a dive bar are tv (never flat screen), darts, and pool. Okay, and maybe a vintage table-top Ms. Pac-Man.

have a website. A real dive doesn’t have a website, hell it might not even have a phone. And it has no need for one.

have a digital jukebox. Especially one stocked with indie rock. A real dive’s jukebox will be the old-fashioned kind, complete with an un-ironic selection of Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline, or whatever music was popular at the time it opened (a real dive doesn’t care to update it’s selection).

And the surefire way to tell that what you have walked into is in no way a real dive bar: it has a martini menu.

National Geographic ranks 133 destinations

by Katie Hammel on

National Geographic Traveler has released the results of its 6th annual survey of authenticity and “destination stewardship”. The survey, ranks 133 places on earth according to how well (or how poorly) the local governments, businesses and residents are protecting the area from degradation, along with other factors like risk of natural disasters.

437 panelists scored each destination according to: environmental and ecological quality, social and cultural integrity, condition of historic buildings and archaeological sites, aesthetic appeal, quality of tourism management, and outlook for the future.

The highest-rated place: the Fjords region of Norway, followed by locations like the South Island of New Zealand, Slovenia, Ancient Kyoto in Japan, the Bavarian Alps and Vermont. Other places listed as “doing well” include Tuscany, Cappadocia, Easter Island, South Africa’s Kruger National Park, and Kentucky’s Bluegrass Country.

There are some places “in the balance” that need work in multiple areas. Destinations such as Costa Rica, the Great Barrier Reef, Prague’s Old Town, Petra and St. Lucia are included here. From there, it gets worse. Places with “troubles” include Ha Long Bay, Giza, Venice and Siem Reap.

The bottom of the barrel: Cabo San Lucas, the West Bank, and Spain’s Costa del Sol.

More interesting than the rankings are the reasons behind them. For example, Costa del Sol rates so low because it’s a “textbook example of mass tourism run amok”, overdeveloped, unattractive and straining local water resources. And what makes the Fjords so great? Few visitors, environmental quality, and a tourism industry that benefits the local people yet allows them to preserve traditional ways of life.

Drinking local stuff around the world

by Abha Malpani on


I get annoyed with people who travel miles across the world and then order Heineken at a bar in China, or a Coca Cola Light in Africa.

Also, as we all know, marketing can deceive authentic tourism: Australian’s do not drink Fosters, Mexican tequilas don’t normally have worms in them, and Spaniards do not eat Paella for dinner, nor do they drink sangria regularly.

So, knowing what locals really drink is culturally as important as knowing what locals really eat, and is one of the joys of learning about the place you are visiting.

I always ask for the local drink (and how to drink it local style!) when I go to a bar in a foreign country: be it the locally brewed beer (Toohey’s Old Beer that I drank with raspberry (!) all the time in Australia) or a nasty red wine-with-cola (Calimocho — drank here in Spain when you want to get drunk on the cheap), or an expensive Spanish Vermouth.On that note, our friends at Condé Nast Traveller have put together a list of what to drink in a variety of places around the world (other than the obvious); here’s what they say:

  • USA : Kentucky: Bourbon — a whiskey distilled from rye, barley malt, corn and yeast. California: Meritage Wine — an American version of Bordeaux.
  • Douro Valley, Portugal: Vintage Port
  • Islay, Scotland: Single Malt Scotch
  • Barbados: Dark-Aged Rum
  • Jalisco, Mexico: Tequila Reposado (means settled). They say this tequila is more mellow than the silver one we are familiar with.
  • Cognac, France: Cognac
  • Valtellina, Italy: Valtellina Superiore — it’s a dry red wine
  • Minas Gerais, Brazil: Cachaça — a clear alcohol distilled from sugarcane. It is also the national drink of Brazil.
  • Provence, France: Pastis — an aperitif made from Annis, and is a descendant of the lethal absinthe.
  • Flanders, Belgium: Trappist Ale — beer brewed by monks in monasteries across Flanders, over the last 1000 years.
  • Japan: Sake — rice wine brewed at cold temperatures, and drank cold. (I’ve had a lot of Sake in Dubai, but they always served it hot. Hmmm.)

You can check out details of all the above at Conde Nast Traveller.