Gadling

I see celebrities all the time on the airplane. In fact, on my last flight one of the Real Housewives of New York City (the one who is not exactly a housewife) slept all the way from New York to Los Angeles. The first thing I noticed was the cutest eye mask I’ve ever seen. It practically covered her entire face. When she woke up and came to the back galley for a glass of water, I couldn’t help but notice that even though she looks good on television, she’s even prettier in real life. Not normally the case when it comes to celebrities.

On the same flight an actress from The Shield, one of my husband’s favorite television shows, decided the best time to put on her gold, tall, high heel boots was not on descent into Los Angeles, not as we were taxiing to the gate, and not as all 200 passengers unbuckled their seat belts, stood up, grabbed their bags out of the overhead bin, and slowly but surely exited the aircraft. Oh no, she didn’t stick her feet inside those boots and zip them up until every single passenger on board the airplane had departed. Because flight attendants can’t leave until all passengers have deplaned, eight of us just stood there holding onto our own bags quietly waiting for those high heel boots to walk.

I’ve already written about Lindsay Lohan throwing a fit over a denied first class seat, Bret Michael’s wonderful manners aboard my mother’s flight, Ivana Trump calling two adorable kids barbarians, so you better believe I’ve got stories! Here’s your chance to figure out which celebrity goes with the story…

THE CELEBRITIES: Lauren Bacall, Bobby Brown, Michael Bolton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Combs, Ethan Hawke, Goldie Hawn, Anthony Kiedis, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Angelina Jolie, Kimora Lee, Alanis Morrisette, Rosie O’Donnell, Dolly Parton, Diana Ross, Britney Spears, Uma Thurman, Luther Vandross, Barbara Walters, Elijah Woods, Raquel Welch

THE STORIES:

1. Wouldn’t breath the air at 35,000 feet without a face mask, but had no problem eating two airplane meals
2. Did sit ups on the floor in first class
3. Fell asleep with a hand down the pants
4. Ran to the bathroom as the airplane was taxiing to the gate
5. Refused to wear a seat belt until threatened to be taken off the flight
6. Asked the pilot not to make any announcements in flight because, “the baby is sleeping.”
7. Actually worked the cart down the aisle and then invited the crew over to spend the night on the layover
8. Bit toenails in business class
9. Cut an omelet into bite size pieces with a knife and fork and then proceeded to use hands to eat it – not the knife and fork.
10. Ordered the flight attendant not to talk to “her man!” when the flight attendant asked, “Would you like something to drink?”
11. Flirted with the captain’s six foot tall, very mature looking, 16 year-old daughter who was non-reving in first class
12. Traveled with the largest entourage I’ve ever seen
13. Exited the lavatory with spouse looking extremely disheveled
14. Told a flight attendant, “My dog likes you. I don’t know why.”
15. Gave a gate agent $50 after borrowing the agent’s cell phone for ten seconds
16. Left such a mess in first class, passengers and crew were shocked
17. Due to a fear of flying, would only sit in the first row of first class.
18. Lectured a flight attendant on the importance of being nice to his mother on mother’s day
19. Sat in first class while son sat in coach.
20. Got caught checking out the flight attendants you-know-what as she walked down the aisle
21. Spent a good half hour watching an in-flight entertainment segment about themselves
22. Sat in coach even though their movie was #1 at the box office
23. Wouldn’t allow a passenger in the window seat to pass in order to use the lavatory until that passenger quietly meditated with them first.

Photos courtesy of (Britney Spears) eupaparazzi, (Leonardo DiCaprio) Chaubaby