Drunk Australian rides crocodile and lives to tell the tale

There must be a patron saint of idiots, because it’s a miracle this guy is still alive.

Michael Williams, 36, got so plastered in a pub in Broome, Western Australia, the night before last that the barman kicked him out. Not having anything else to do, he broke into Broome Crocodile Park to visit Fatso, an 18 ft. saltwater crocodile. Williams climbed the fence and tried to ride the crocodile by sitting on its back. Fatso took exception to this and bit off a chunk of the guy’s leg.

Amazingly, the crocodile let him go. Park owner malcolm Douglas, a documentary filmmaker and crocodile hunter, says that recent cold nights had made Fatso sluggish, otherwise Williams would have become a midnight snack. Williams was able to get back over the fence and go back to the pub. Instead of kicking him out again, at which point he would have probably gone off and done something equally stupid, pub owners called emergency services. He’s now recovering in the hospital.

So the lesson for today is–booze and crocs don’t mix!


Photo courtesy Tourism NT.

Funny warning signs keep us safe/amused

The world is a dangerous place. Or so the safety signs we encounter on our travels would have us believe. Thankfully, the same people who try to scare us away from sharp objects, deadly animals and steep cliffs also have a fantastic sense of humor. How else could you explain the fascinating amount of truly hysterical warning signs that are displayed all over the world? From my hometown of New York to the Northern Territory of Australia, I’ve seen warning signs for any number of dangerous situations and more often than not, they’ve elicited more laughter than fear.

That’s not to say that these signs don’t have merit. To the contrary, safety signs should always be followed and care should be taken whenever they are present. But, as you walk around the mouth of the active volcano or avoid the snap of the crocodiles teeth, enjoy a hearty belly laugh. Just because you’re defying death doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun doing it.

What situations are the most dangerously hysterical? Let’s take a tour of amusing safety signs from around the globe.

%Gallery-88255%Watch your hands!
Subways can be death traps. If the train doesn’t hit you, its doors will eat your rabbit paws. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!

No diving!
Cliff diving is popular from Mexico to New Zealand. But, unlike the public pool that you went to when you still wore floaties, there are no markers telling you the depth of the water. Sure, that lake at the bottom of the waterfall looks deep enough to safely welcome you after your plunge from 100 feet up, but who’s to say it’s not just shallow and murky? Maybe those rocks aren’t as soft as they look? Perhaps – and I’m just thinking out loud here – diving into a rocky abyss against the advice of a sign that uses simple mathematical symbols and disturbing images is not the best strategy. If you need an adrenaline rush that will also cool you off, try dropping the soap in the communal shower at your hostel.

Heads up!
Think airports are safe thanks to the TSA? Well, what about outside of the airport? Simply walking near a runway can be dangerous. Remember that airplanes always have the right of way. If you see one coming, best to curl up into a ball, soil yourself and apologize to your friend for the blood splatter that he’s about to get on his shirt.

Crocs aren’t just ugly shoes!

Crocodiles haven’t survived for millions of years by being idiots. They’re intelligent creatures who are as smart as they are powerful. Just because they could kill you with one bite doesn’t mean that they also couldn’t defeat you in a Mathlete competition. So, if someone spent an afternoon frantically scribbling a sign alerting you that there are crocodiles stalking boats and people, you damn well better listen to that warning. Because if a crocodile wants to find you, it will. And by the time you look at the caller ID on your phone and see that the croc is calling from inside the house, it’s too late.

Slippery when wet!
Achtung! Slip and falls are all too common and result in everything from sprained ankles to concussions to permanent death. If a sign tells you to avoid slipping into a swirling black hole that may lead to Hell and/or a netherworld, best to heed its warning.

I could go on and on, but perhaps you should just check out our gallery of warning signs to properly understand the dangers that loom all around. As you travel the world, please do obey all safety signs…and have a blast doing it!

Men jailed for beating holy crocodile

It’s generally not smart to bother a crocodile. Heck, an Israeli tourist nearly got eaten just for trying to take a photo of one! Thus two men in Bangladesh should count themselves lucky that after beating a crocodile, they landed up in a jail cell rather than the reptile’s stomach.

The men worked at the tomb of Khan Jahan Ali, a fifteenth-century Muslim saint whose resting place in Bagarhat is a pilgrimage site. In front of his tomb is a pool of water in which live about two dozen marsh crocodiles. Pilgrims offer chickens and goats to the crocs in the hopes of having their prayers answered, and donate money to their “caretakers”. This group have been reported for cruelty before, often beating the crocs if they don’t respond to their calls. When a pregnant female named Pipil didn’t do what they wanted, they beat it so badly with bamboo sticks that the animal lost an eye.

It’s illegal to mistreat crocodiles in Bangladesh, and now the pair face two years in jail with hard labor.

Outback Australia: Kakadu National Park

Kakadu National Park covers 7,646 square miles of Australia’s Top End in the Northern Territory. How big is that? Well, you could fit both Yosemite and Grand Canyon National Parks inside of Kakadu with room to spare for all of the fanny packs (that’s bum bags for you Aussies) that would be roaming around. In other words, it’s massive. It’s also the native homeland of several groups of indigenous peoples. It’s a living history of Australia’s Outback story and a great place to begin a trip to the Northern Territory.

You can drive to Kakadu from Darwin in under four hours, and that’s exactly what I did. Be forewarned, though, that once you’re a few hundred kilometers out of Darwin, you’ll probably only get one radio station (ABC) that is a combination of NPR and local news talk radio. But if you’re a travel geek like me, you’ll enjoy listening to local music and hearing about the regional political conflicts as you scan the endless horizon for any sign of a town or passing vehicle. Along the way, you won’t pass much and you’ll quickly realize that the Northern Territory is defined more by what isn’t there than what is. It’s a land of natural beauty and devoid of much man-made structure. And Kakadu is the epicenter of much of that scenic wonder.

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The first thing I noticed upon entering Kakadu were the signs for the East Alligator, West Alligator and South Alligator rivers. The second thing you’ll notice is that there are no alligators in Kakadu. Or in the Northern Territory. Or in Australia. In the early 1800s, an English navigator by the name of Phillip Parker King visited the region fresh off of a trip to Florida. He mistook Australia’s crocodiles for alligators and the misnomer has stuck ever since. Just another quirk in an already quirky country.

And those crocodiles are prevalent in Kakadu. You’d be foolish to swim in any of the billabongs or rivers that you find in your travels. However, there are plenty of opportunities to safely observe these descendants of dinosaurs safely. One of the best is on the Yellow Water Cruise. Don’t let the odd name fool you. The cruise takes you through some of the most serene areas of the park and allows you to view wildlife from crocs to jabiru. It’s a great way to spend a morning and both kids and adults will be in awe of the creatures and landscapes that you witness. For the best experience, sit in the back of the boat with the guide and stand on your seat to take pictures without fear of blocking anyone’s view.

While Australia’s most famous inland natural wonder, Uluru, is several hundred kilometers south of Kakadu, the park is not lacking for dramatic rock outcrops. Nourlangie Rock (Burrunggui in the native language) features some pristine rock art and breathtaking views of the wide expanses of the Northern Territory. You can clearly notice paintings of wallabies and hunters (pictured), as well as many of the traditional spirits who are the central characters of the indigenous people’s Dreamtime or Dreaming. These are the oral traditions that make their history of the universe and their land and the art provides a window into how the native people lived thousands of years ago.

Similar to Burrunggui, Ubirr Rock has a “gallery” of art that dates back thousands of years. Park guides regularly host scheduled talks at various art sites to explain the pictures and their significance to the native people. I was beyond pleased to see several aboriginal guides working at the park and sharing the stories of their heritage as they had learned them as children.

Ubirr Rock is a popular destination for park visitors because of its breathtaking sunsets. The good news is that the view is even better than advertised. The bad news is that you’ll be sharing the experience with several hundred of your newest photo-crazed friends. Anticipating a rush of people around sunset, I elected to climb Ubirr (it’s a fairly easy walk) in the mid-afternoon. The top was nearly devoid of people during the hottest part of the day and I looked out onto the flood plains and water buffalo grazing areas in quiet solitude. It wasn’t until around 5:30 that the hordes of tourists with their cameras and boorish behavior arrived en masse. By then, I had enjoyed several hours of peaceful reflection high atop the Outback with nothing to keep me company but welcomed breezes and the occasional white breasted sea eagle.

That said, the sunset at Ubirr was phenomenal. As the evening approached Kakadu, the sun itself seemed weary after a long day. It relinquished its position high above the plains and seemed to sink meekly towards the horizon, as if conceding that the moon had once again claimed victory in this daily battle.

For a true sense of the Northern Territory’s size and scope, Kakadu National Park is a must-see. Many travelers camp or stay in camper vans while visiting. Others stay at the crocodile-shaped Holiday Inn in the mining town of Jabiru (not to be confused with the bird). No matter where you lay your head at night in Kakadu, however, you won’t wake up far from some of the most beautiful vistas you’ve ever seen.

One could easily spend several weeks in Kakadu lingering in various sections of the park and interacting with the land. Sadly, I had only a few days. Thankfully, I stayed in some incredibly unique accommodations that helped me learn about the park from the people who grew up there. And that’s what I’ll be covering tomorrow.

Mike Barish traversed the Outback on a trip sponsored by Tourism Northern Territory. He traveled alone and had no restrictions on what he could cover during his travels. That would explain how he ended up eating water buffalo. You can read the other entries in his Outback Australia series HERE.

Gadling Take FIVE: Week of Nov. 8–Nov. 14

Today Gadling welcomed our newest blogger, Brenda Yun. Yun, who is tapped into the thrill of world travel without guidebooks, has looked for surf in a remote spot in Vanuatu and has traveled to where many haven’t tread.

Keeping with a theme of thrills in mind, here’s Gadling’s Take FIVE for this week:

This week also marks the end of our series, Catching the Travel Bug. The series offers personal accounts of various parts of the world where the kindness of strangers and newly made friends have resonated over the miles and years.