The worst cruise line values

by Chris Owen on

Cruise vacations can represent one of the best vacation values around, that’s for sure. The all-inclusive nature of a cruise makes it one of the easiest ways to go when budgeting too. Some cruises are better values than others though. Here are some of the worst cruise line values.

Cruises from New York
This is the whole supply and demand thing. Few ships sailing from the area with lots of demand equals higher prices in many cases. Summer sailings are a good example where fares for a 7-day cruise can easily be 30 to 50% higher than sailings from Southern ports.

Balconies on old ships
Old ships weren’t built for today’s demand. In the olden days of cruising, ships had mostly inside cabins and Ocean-view cabins with just windows. Just a few cabins had balconies, the popular option today. That makes balconies on old ships prime real estate that gets a premium price.

Sailing solo
While options are slowly improving, sailing by yourself is a horrible value compared to sailing with someone else in the cabin to share the cost with. Cruise lines base everything on double-occupancy and with few exceptions charge solo cruisers twice the cruise fare. Kudos to Norwegian Cruise Lines who introduced single studio accommodations on new Norwegian Epic last Summer, a first for the cruise industry.

Sailing during peak season
Spring Break, Summer, and sailings which fall on holidays or pretty much any time school is out demand a premium price. On the flip side, times when kids are IN school have some of the best values, especially Fall sailings. Some of the best? First week in November or December.

Brand new ships
They always demand a premium price. On the latest, greatest new ship that’s not surprising. Normally, you’ll pay more to be one of the first on the most innovative ships out there than an older sister-ship of the same class.

A good way to measure and compare the value of a cruise, or any vacation package, is the cost per person, per day. Cruise lines like this number because it compares very well to other vacation options.

Another part of “value” though is more of a personal matter. It may very well be worth it to sail solo if the alternative is to not sail or sail with someone you would never take your clothes off in front of. Sailing during peak season may be the only time you can go, or you are just dying to try that new ship with all the latest bells and whistles. Your travel agent can help by being aware of or watching for special promotions, discounts or offers over the life of your booking that will soften the blow of these otherwise worst cruise values.

Flickr photo by kthypyrn

Cruise booze smuggling tips

by Chris Owen on

Cruise lines are cracking down on bringing alcoholic beverages, soft drinks and even bottled water on board at embarkation more and more these days. In the world of booze smuggling, there is no one certain rule to follow that will work every time. You have to kind of go with the flow and be prepared for anything. It’s a stealth operation to be sure but armed with the tools necessary, you can do this.

Dress for success– your college t-shirt, flip-flops and cutoffs screaming “party animal” may make you think you look cool/hot/older/younger. (No) To security personnel they say “Pat me down”. Wear your semi-casual-kinda-formal-night outfit and breeze through checkpoints undisturbed. It would help if you were also not intoxicated boarding the ship. Tailgating before the cruise is really not your best move here. You will need your wits about you to make this work.

Pack for success– There was once a notion that it was smart to take an extra suitcase for soft drinks and other “beverages” to be consumed on board. The idea was that empty space upon consumption gave extra room for souvenirs, towels, pillows, silverware and other items acquired along the way. News flash: a small suitcase that feels conspicuously heavy will get extra attention from security personnel.

A gift for you- I’ve done this a dozen times and it works. Gift wrap a case of Heineken or other premium beverage and just walk right on in with it. Dressed appropriately, it works. If anyone asks, the answer is “It’s a gift for the captain”. No one ever has.

Decoy bottles– Now think about this: Say all of the above did not work. You’re called to a special holding room once on the ship to claim your luggage because it has either an iron (huge fire hazard) or alcohol (huge profit hazard) in it, both things they don’t want on the ship.

In front of security personnel, you open the luggage as instructed and fish out whatever it is you’re not supposed to have. They don’t make you do that to teach you a lesson and humiliate you. That comes later when you’re standing around with a life jacket on a ship that is not sinking. They do that because they discovered your sinister profit-robbing plan via x-rays, voodoo or iron-sniffing dogs.

They don’t know exactly what you have in there, just that there’s something bad. Not bad enough to call the FBI but bad enough to make a big deal about it.

The trick is to place decoy bottles of booze (like the cheapest bargain wine you can find) close in the top or opening of your luggage, pull those out first. Then, briefly fake-rummage through the rest, pretending to dig deep but coming up empty and not finding any more. This may take some practice if you are not a naturally deceptive person.

(Little do they know you have a fine bottle of Scotch or French Champagne down in the bottom of that bag)

Really paranoid people sometimes watch for sales at Victoria’s Secret and add an eye catching lingerie item, in the original packaging, sporting little Miss Perfect Body as a backup distraction that can move things along too.

The point is to make it a quick, painless procedure and move along back to your cabin, contraband in hand. Your mind-set should be “I’m excited to be on this fine ship”. “I can’t wait to get back to the fun I am responsibly having.” “This is a minor inconvenience and no big deal”

Follow those tips and you will be breathing a sigh of relief and headed back to the real fun, strip poker with crew members in their restricted area, in no time.

Oh, one last point: The cruise line can kick you off the ship with no refund and no way home if they catch you doing this. Smuggle at your own risk.

Flickr photo by Ben Husmann

Disney Dream to sail in profitable waters, magic a bonus

by Chris Owen on

When new Disney Dream arrived in Florida this week, crowds gathered to celebrate. New ships arriving are always a special event and this one was no exception. But beyond the first-look hoopla, the new ship will have some real-world financial impact that’s pretty cool to consider.

Buoyed by a nod from Wall Street analysts, shares in Walt Disney Co hit a 10-year high Wednesday, due in part to the arrival of Disney Dream. The new ship and sister-ship Disney Fantasy coming in 2012 represent a $1.8 billion investment that will increase the line’s guest capacity by nearly 150 percent.

Older and smaller ships Disney Magic and Wonder will be redeployed to make room for the new, larger ships that bring with them more jobs and more revenue for ports they visit too. The Bahamas will see an estimated $3 million additional spending and $900,000 in tax revenue the first year alone.

The cruise business has been a profitable venture for Disney, with ships sailing fuller and demanding higher prices than other major cruise lines. While other lines carry an average of two guests per cabin, Disney’s family focus gets them an average of 3 and that adds up to higher profits.

It’s no surprise that rival lines Royal Caribbean International and Norwegian Cruise Line have tried to capture that profit magic by adding Dreamworks and Nickelodeon characters to their on-board programming. It’s a bold attempt to stifle the effect of Disney’s increased capacity but side by side, it’s pretty hard to beat the mouse on his own turf.

“Oh, this line is all for kids?” you say? Not so fast.

Disney has gone out of its way to attract adults as well with new features on board that let adults ditch the kids, at night anyway, for features along the lines of the latest and greatest being offered by the newest of ships on other lines.

Wrap it all up, tie a bow on it and sing “Happy Birthday”, Disney Cruise Line’s new child may very well be the future of cruise vacations. Now that’s magical.

Photo- Disney Cruise Line

Bombs under cruise terminal to be removed

by Chris Owen on

The US Army Corps of Engineers says old Navy munitions found under Seattle’s cruise ship terminal are not a major threat and cleanup is underway. Still, that the old shells and weapons were initially uncovered by cruise ship thrusters and that has experts talking.

“Wherever munitions have been handled in the past, they have rolled off the pier, they’ve been dropped out of cargo net. It’s perfectly normal, it’s expected. What is unexpected is that there is a cruise ship terminal built directly above where some of these munitions are.” Jim Barton, an expert in underwater munitions, told Seattle’s King5.com back in October.

Divers started spotting the munitions in April as part of routine security sweeps required by the Coast Guard. Apparently the bombs were dropped in the water between the 1930s and 1970 when the U.S. Navy used the the facility. Initially it was empty shell casings found by divers but later searches revealed live ammunition capable of being exploded under where cruise ships travel.

“These are munitions, designed to kill people. Barton said adding “They’re pretty safe to be around unless you disturb them”

When the munitions were first discovered, Seattle’s cruise ship season was still in operation. Records indicate that at least two times in September, live ammunition was brought to the surface with cruise ships nearby.

This week the Corps of Engineers announced that it is leading a $10 million cleanup project with the Port of Seattle, U.S. Navy, Coast Guard and Environmental Protection Agency. Check this initial report about it all below:


Flickr photo iwona_kellie

Massive floods close Panama Canal but end of world not near

by Chris Owen on

Ship transit through the Panama Canal was suspended Wednesday as flood waters, the worst ever recorded, made transit impossible.

17 hours of prolonged heavy rain forced the closing, only the third time since the canal opened 96 years ago and the first time because of flooding. Panama’s civil protection system declared Eastern Panama on high alert and issued evacuation orders for over 1000 people in dozens of flooded neighborhoods.

Reopening on Thursday, operations are back to normal at this time and no cruise ship itineraries were affected reports CruiseCritic.com

The Canal also closed in 1989 when the United States invaded Panama to depose bad guy Manuel Noreiga. In 1915 and into 1916 landslides closed the Canal, only months after it opened.

In case you missed it in history class, the Panama Canal was built by the United States between 1904 and 1914. It serves as a link between the Atlantic and Pacific ocean and handles more than 200 million metric tons of cargo every year.

Flickr photo by galif548