Have you seen. . .The Thing?

by Sean McLachlan on

As you drive through the desert along I-10 you see them–garish signs beckoning you to explore the mystery of “The Thing?” The signs are everywhere, 247 of them stretching from Arizona to Texas. The journey is long and boring, punctuated only by bad country music and Born-Again preachers on the radio. Finally you make it to Exit 322 at Dragoon, Arizona, and see the cheap yellow, red, and blue facade inviting you to stop and see The Thing? itself.

How could you say no? I couldn’t. A long, long time ago, a much younger Museum Junkie felt the siren call of roadside America and pulled over in his 82 Nissan Stanza to find out what The Thing? really was.

Past a curio shop stuffed with plastic tomahawks and The Thing? shot glasses, I entered a back lot with three sheds. The first two were stuffed with dusty displays of fascinating junk, everything from a mock-up of a torture room to a 1937 Rolls Royce supposedly owned by Hitler. There were strange carvings made of roots and driftwood too, and random bits that looked like they were saved from a dumpster behind an antique mall.

But then I spied the yellow trail of Bigfoot prints leading to the third shed. I followed them and beheld in all it’s glory–THE THING?!!!

So what is it? A crashed UFO? A fifty-foot Eiffel Tower made out of jelly beans? J. Edgar Hoover’s drag queen outfits? No! It’s. . .it’s. . .

. . .well, it’s this. A dusty female mummy holding a baby mummy and shyly hiding her geriatric genitalia behind a Chinese hat.

Is it real? This former archaeologist made a thorough examination of it (by staring through the dirty glass) and came up with the professional diagnosis of “maybe”. The face looks pretty fake, making me suspect its a paper mache dummy with a few spare ribs from somebody’s barbecue added for effect, but something made me think twice. Dessicated human remains are fairly common in the Arizona desert, and were even more common back in 1950 when the museum opened.

As an archaeology student at the University of Arizona back in the day, I got to tour the state forensics lab and saw several of these mummies. Some were ancient native Americans, others dated to modern times and were what the lab attendants referred to as JPFROG (Just Plain F**cking Ran Out Of Gas).

Another roadside attraction, The Million Dollar Museum in New Mexico, had several of these things, but sadly they have closed. According to unverified reports (what else would you expect?) the FBI was sufficiently convinced the mummies were real that they hauled them away for DNA testing.

Ancient mummy, cheesy fake, or JPFROG? You be the judge. Go to. . .The Thing?

Or be lazy and watch this YouTube video narrated by Hunter S. Thompson (not really).

Life Nomadic: Beating The Moroccan Hustle

by Tynan on

I have a lot of great things to say about Morocco, and I’ll get to those soon. Today, though, I’m going to talk about an insane part of the culture that can be found everywhere from Tangier to Marakkech: the hustle.

As a visitor who doesn’t speak the language, I’m only really able to interact with a small percentage of the population. Of those people I interacted with, I’d say that a good ninety percent of them are full fledged hustlers.

What do I mean by hustlers? I mean people who are hell bent on getting money from you, whether it’s through lying, aggressive salesmanship, or cheating. They don’t cross that fine line from cheating to stealing, though.

The biggest scam is the outright price change. We became so used to this one that as shocking as it was the first time it happened, we had come to expect it by the end. Here’s a real life example of how it works:

The Price Bump

Determined to ride camels in the desert, we hired a taxi driver to take us seven hours south of Fez to the edge of the desert. On the way we made phone calls to different tour companies and arranged for a one night camel ride into the desert, including lodging, food, and return by minibus to Marrakech the next day. Already brutally familiar with the Price Bump, we three times clearly articulated how much we were to pay, 300 Dirhams each, and what we were to receive.We got to the desert and were met by a friendly man from the tour company who we had been in touch with. Moroccans are genuinely warm and friendly, even the hustlers, and he was no exception. We had a great time in the desert, and after breakfast the next day the man from the tour company came to see us.

“Do you need a bus to Marrakech? 350 Dirhams each.”

Yes, he was trying to charge us more for the bus that was supposed to be included already than we had agreed to pay for the entire tour. It was the only bus to Marrakech that day and was leaving in fifteen minutes.

How do you deal with the Price Bump? The only way to win is to refuse to give a single dirham more. When you show your surprise at the new price, the hustler will always try to act compassionate and bring the price down a bit, trying to get you to renegotiate.

I’d fallen for it the first couple times (orange juice salesman are ruthless), but I’d had enough. I made it very clear that not only was I not going to pay any more than we’d already agreed, but that I also wasn’t going to leave until he put me on a bus. I kept my feet planted and my money in my pocket.

He finally relented and let us on the bus with a smile.

Super Aggressive Salesmen

It sometimes seems like everyone in Morocco is either selling something or is acting as an agent for someone selling something. “Need hash? Get high before you fly” may as well be a national slogan. I don’t care where point A and B are; traveling between them will absolutely result in someone following you, belting out some sort of sales pitch.

If you make the mistake of actually talking to one of the would-be salesmen, he won’t leave until you get where you’re going, and often times will follow you inside.

The salesmen in shops are brutal. They’ll try to make you articulate which of their wares you like best, even if you say you’re not interested, and start the bargaining shortly after. They’ll tell you that even if you’re a poor student who doesn’t have any need for a fine wool rug, you should buy five to sell back at home.

The key to dealing with aggressive salesmen is to first realize that you’re under no obligation to buy anything, whether they approach you or you go into their store. Ignoring people who approach you, even if it’s with friendly conversation, is the only way to stave off the roaming touts.

Unfortunately…

By the end of the trip I’d started to like the bargaining battlefield and even the bait and switch price gouging. It was offensive, but somehow perversely satisfying to stand my ground and win. The casualty of being jaded, which is the only way to cope with the hustle, is that you miss out on meeting the really amazing friendly Moroccans.

In the beginning we’d talk to everyone who stopped us to ask where we were from. Ninety percent would then pester us relentlessly about something or other, but the remaining ten percent became our friends: people who showed us around Morocco, shared its stories, and became familiar faces around the Medina.

I’d recommend that everyone visit Morocco. It’s very different from Western culture, has a lot of great historic things to see, and truly has the best orange juice in the world. But be prepared for the hustle– we weren’t.

Three important American artists and their museums

by Jamie Rhein on

Tom’s post about the exhibit in Paris of Andy Warhol’s work reminded me of the wonderful Warhol experience I had this past fall at the Wexner Center and my interest in going to the Warhol Museum on Pittsburgh. Museums dedicated primarily to the work of one artist is a way to really see what made a particular artist tick and why his or her work is important to the art scene and culture.

If you want to dive into the world of Warhol, Pittsburgh is a place to start. There are two other American artists who have had an impact on American sensibilities and American contributions to the art scene. Both also have museums dedicated to them. The museums are also places to see works of others who have shared similar muses.

There are other important American artists, but these are the ones I know have museums dedicated to them. If you know of others, please do tell. The museum in the photo is not Warhol’s. Any guesses whose it is and where it is? Read on to find out.

The Andy Warhol Museum

Where? Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Why there? This is the city where Warhol was born and grew up.

What’s at the museum? 12,000 of Warhol’s pieces that include paintings, photographs, prints and video interviews. This sweeping retrospective encompases Warhol’s artistic endeavors from the 1940s to the 1980s.

Why is Warhol important? Warhol whose scope and amount of work can make a person dizzy, is partly responsible for the fusion of art, popular culture and celebrity. The thing about Warhol that I find so interesting is how he turned himself into a celebrity in the process of helping other’s find their spot in the limelight, however fleeting. Warhol is the one who coined the phrase “In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.”

Famous works: The portraits of Marilyn Monroe and Chairman Mao, plus Cambells soup cans, Brillo Pads and Warhol’s self-portraits among others.

What else is there? The Warhol Museum is dedicated to promoting the work of other contemporary artists. This weekend is the last chance to see the exhibits: The Vader Project: 100 Pop Surrealistic artists’ versions of Darth Vader’s helmet and The End: a collection of works by artists in response to the economic woes in the United States. These end on May 3, so hurry.

The Georgia O’Keefe Museum

Where? Santa Fe, New Mexico. Why there? O’Keefe drew inspiration from New Mexico’s desert and made the state her home.

What’s at the museum? In the collection are 1,149 of O’Keeffe paintings, drawings and sculptures created between 1901 and 1984. This is the largest collection of O’Keefe’s work in the world. Through September 2009, the painting Jimsom Weed that hung in the White House dining room for 8 years will be on display. This is the flower pictured here.

Why is O’Keefe important? O’Keefe has held her own in a world dominated by men as an avant garde artist who helped form American Modernism. One trademark is her depictions of the natural world in a way that is lush, alluring, and sensual in a manner that is instantly recognizable as her own. Part of O’Keefe’s aim was to show “the wideness and wonder of the world as I live in it” as she put it.

Famous works: Flowers, cow skulls, New Mexico mountains and architecture.

What else is there? The museum also shows works of other contemporary American artists that typically highlight O’Keefe’s influence.

C. M. Russell Museum

Where? Great Falls, Montana Why there? Charlie Russell moved to Montana from in 1880 ate age 16. He lived in Great Falls until his death in 1926.

What’s at the museum? On exhibit in the permanent collection are 2,000 pieces of Russell’s artwork that show his development as an artist and a storyteller of Western life. Also included are items that were his that highlight his life.

Why is Russell important? With dreams of being a cowboy, Russell switched to being a full-time artist after years of combining the two professions. His love of American Indians and western life helped him create paintings and sculptures that tell the story of the West by someone who knew it well. One of Russells quotes that has a resonance, I think with travelers. “Lonesome makes shy friends of strangers.”

Famous works: American Indians, scenery, cowboys. Two paintings of note. The Jerkline and The Fireboat. The Jerkline is pictured here.

What else is there? Contemporary American western art and photography of other western-themed artists. Here’s a place to learn more about western life through the years. Contemporary artists’ work are also on exhibit, as well as Russell era artists. One current special exhibit that caught my attention is Photographing Montana 1894-1928: The World of Evelyn Cameron. Cameron was a female photographer who captured thousands of images of life and scenery of the West.

In Iraq, soldiers get a holiday break

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Whether you stayed at home or suffered airport crowds to visit your family this holiday season, you were lucky. For more than 100,000 members of the U.S. armed forces and many civilian contractors, Christmas was limited to deserts, rifles and a brief phone call home. I remember from my service in Korea (10 years ago), that the military does make the effort to ease the pain a bit with a fantastic meal, and reports from the ground in Iraq show that the tradition continues.

On Camp Anaconda, the largest U.S. military installation in Iraq, soldiers and contractors were treated to a substantial feast, with senior officers serving those with lower ranks in a show of appreciation both for their daily efforts and the fact that they could not enjoy the holiday under more pleasant circumstances.

A meal without ambiance, of course, lacks a crucial element. So, to deliver a complete holiday experience, the dining facilities (as “chow halls” are now called) were decorated to remind the guests of where they’d rather be. Christmas trees stood along the walls, and in one location, Santa himself lounged in a hammock. Hominy grits were dyed and used to spell out a greeting to those who entered the makeshift “oasis” in the Iraqi desert.

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For the rest of the day, activities varied. Camp Anaconda is a fairly large site, with plenty of distractions available, though the basics of life, such as doing laundry, topped the agendas of those serving thousands of miles from home.

It’s hard not to dwell on what you’re missing, but the residents of Camp Anaconda certainly made the best of their collective situation, enjoying what amenities were available and sitting down for a full meal during which they gave the orders to the officers who usually call the shots.

Want to make a soldier’s life easier? Visit Cigars for Soldiers to make a donation. Even if you aren’t a cigar smoker, for less than $10, you can give the gift of an hour’s relaxation to someone who desperately needs it.

“No Reservations” season 4, episode 18: Egypt

by Jeremy Kressmann on

Location: This week Tony finds himself in Egypt, home to the Great Pyramids, the Sphinx and plenty of other tourist stereotypes. Egypt is one of the world’s great cradles of civilization as well as a crossroads of many cultures (and great cuisine) from all points north, south, east and west.

Episode Rating: Three bloody meat cleavers out of five. Bourdain indeed delivers the unexpected when it comes to Egypt. Some interesting culinary discoveries but also some “snoozefest” segments that could have been left on the editing table. Also, I must say…you came all that way and didn’t go to the Great Pyramids? I don’t care how jaded you are towards tourists – how do you skip that?

Summary: Egypt is the kind of place most of us know at least a little something about. Whether you’ve already been, or it’s the trip of your dreams. most of us with an urge for exploration and discovery reasonably know what to expect. Ancient pharaohs, the Nile, papyrus, mummies. But then again, we are talking about Anthony Bourdain here…

Bourdain sets a manifesto from this episode’s outset – he’s going to skip the prototypical Egyptian tourist spots. Why you might ask? He doesn’t want the view to be cluttered by all of those tourists. But still, one has to admit the man has a unique method to his madness. Much like a Egyptologist cracking open a pharaoh’s tomb for the very first time, Tony’s urge to push his boundaries leads us into some interesting culinary crevices. Was Tony attacked by mummies? Does he eat more camel like in the Saudi Arabia episode? Read on to get the full story.There seems no more obvious place to start an Egyptian visit than in Cairo, the country’s largest city and one of the biggest of any across the Middle East. Of course, upon getting off the aircraft in a foreign country, my usual first instinct is to find something to eat. And Tony is no different. He heads straight to his element – the backstreets of Cairo for a breakfast of the local favorite, fuul. Basically a mix of mashed fava beans, simmered slowly with oil, garlic, chili pepper and a few other spices, fuul is typically served with the ubiquitous flatbread. It’s a filling meal, especially for the many poor Egyptians who will not have another meal until dinnertime.

Having satiated his post-deplaning hunger, Tony heads to the famous Khan el-Khalili marketplace. It is just as you might picture the many vast bazaars that dot the cities of the Muslim world – tiny shops selling all manner of handicrafts, tiny curios, antiques, clothing and of course, spices.

It is precisely these spices that have brought Tony here, and he meets up with Dr. Sayeed of the American University of Cairo to tell him more about this ancient and venerable industry. Egypt was conveniently placed at the crossroads of the ancient world, between medieval Europe and the spice plantations of India and Far East. As these many spices came through Egypt, they revolutionized the country’s cuisine. Dishes like stuffed pigeon are a direct outgrowth of this fact. Tony takes his history lesson to heart and sits down for a stuffed pigeon lunch with his teacher. The bird is stuffed with (what else?) spices then simmered until tender, rolled in more spices and then seared in a pan until carmelized. Is pigeon good? Absolutely yes, says Tony. All you city dwellers, go grab that bag of feathers sitting on your windowsill and throw it in the broiler. Tony says it’s good!

Ok, we’re “stuffed” now with pigeon. Is it too soon to mention dinner? Why no in fact, and Tony has linked up a with a local Egyptian businessman to make sure the gluttony train keeps on moving. They visit fast food chain Abou Tarek to get a taste of local specialty kushari. Kushari is practically the Egyptian national dish – as Tony points out, to not try it while in Egypt would be like going to New York and not eating at a deli. The simple meal is composed of a starchy mix of rice, spaghetti, black lentils, chickpeas and then topped with fried onions. The choice of topping sauce is a matter of personal taste – a tomato-cumin, vinegar-garlic and hot sauce are all on offer.

To wrap up his night, Bourdain and his Egyptian companion go to a traditional Egyptian cafe to drink tea and smoke from hookahs. Though Tony has given up smoking, he can’t resist a pull off the old hookah pipe. The editors got a little too cute here – was the Bob Marley-style reggae music in this scene really necessary? He’s smoking flavored tobacco, not ganja!

Too much urban living can make anybody anxious, so Tony takes his cue to get outta town for some Egyptian-style R&R. The Bourdain crew stops at a small farming village along the Nile River Valley. The town is emblematic of the narrow slice of land which runs along this fabled body of water – the fertile silt of the river provides the perfect soil for all manner of agricultural products.

Tony visits the home of a local family to eat. To get the meal ready, they head to the roof, where they keep their livestock. Tonight’s menu includes duck, freshly made bread, freshly made cheese and freshly made butter and a local soup made with a plant called Melokhia. It is a warm and friendly outing – the food delicious, the people friendly, the setting – majestic. All is right with the world in Anthony-Bourdainland.

The final portion of Tony’s Egypt trip is a visit with a group of Bedouins. Though the word “bedouin” frequently conjures visions of robe-clad peoples riding on camels, modern-day bedouins defy easy categorization. For one, their transportation of choice is now Toyota Land Cruisers. To celebrate his visit (when isn’t a visit by Anthony Bourdain cause for celebration???) the bedouins prepare a feast of lamb.

The animal is killed according to proper principles – they dispatch it with the head facing southeast towards Mecca and all blood is drained before dressing the carcass. While the animal cooks, Tony spends an inordinate amount of time waxing philosophical about the desert – its emptiness and solitude and stark beauty and blah blah blah. If he didn’t have so many tattoos, I think I might have mistaken him for a desert-bound version of Thoreau. Tony, it’s quiet, empty and picturesque, we get it! When it’s time to eat the lamb, they accompany it with rice and some “sun bread” – hardened bread that travels well a
nd is softened in water for consumption. Mmmm mmmm!

That’s it. No visit to the Pyramids. No visit to the Sphinx. For some tourists, that’s a failure. But then again, for Anthony Bourdain, famous landmarks are not really his narrative and a famous place like Egypt was really no exception. Instead, we find an unexpected side of Egypt. A place where cuisine is dictated as much by thousands of years of precedent as it is by the country’s remarkable crossroads of cultures and influences.