Galley Gossip: Lost in first class

by Heather Poole on

It was dark in the cabin, the seat belt sign was on, passengers were watching the in-flight movie, and we, the crew, stood in the coach galley talking about…oh I don’t remember, but I do remember we were flying from Los Angeles to New York and it had been an uneventful flight. Which was nice for a change. I had been just about to remark on the nice flight when the flight attendant working in the first class galley called us in the back.

I answered the phone, “This is Heather.”

An exasperated voice asked, “Is he back there?”

“Yeah, he’s here, hold on.” I shrugged my shoulders and handed the phone to the one in charge, a tall, tough-looking guy with a goatee. Don’t let the looks fool you. He’s really sweet and mushy inside.

“What!” he exclaimed, holding the phone to his ear. He rolled his eyes. “There’s a child lost in first class,” he said, and that’s all he said, hanging up the phone and making his way up the aisle to sort the matter out.

Of course the first thing that went through my mind was a visual of a very young child running through the first class cabin causing a ruckus. I figured the parents were asleep in coach and totally oblivious to the child’s whereabouts. I mean what else could it be?

Once while deadheading on a flight years ago, I felt something strange moving between my ankles. When I looked down, I gasped. Oh my. There on the floor crawled an infant – right out from underneath my seat! I picked up the baby, cradled her in my arms, and turned around. Behind me slept a young lady. I spotted what looked like a diaper bag lying on the seat beside her.

“Excuse me,” I said, tapping her on the bony shoulder. I held out the infant. “Is this yours?”

She nodded, took the baby into her own arms, leaned her head against the side wall, and closed her eyes.

Leesa, a Gadling reader (and soon to be flight attendant), wrote and told me about her experience with not just a lost child, but a child traveling with a parent who might as well have been lost, considering he knew no boundaries, another common occurrence on flights these days…

Once last year while on a Qantas flight back to the US from SYD, we were lucky enough to have one of the exit rows on a 747 where you have like 6 feet of wonderful leg room. Ahhhh, so nice. Anyhow, this man had his 2 year old screaming child for 2 hours dancing and singing right in front of us – in OUR leg room. Of course the crew was busy working so we were given an up close and rather unwanted performance RIGHT in our very coveted leg space!!! Hey, we booked early for those seats!!! The nerve!

I know this might be hard for some of you to believe, but no one wants to play with your child. So please do not assume that just because your little bundle of joy is adorable and smart that we all want to share our space with him or her. Nor does anyone want to watch your child making laps around the airplane. Now I’m not talking about walking up and down the aisle doing the bouncy bounce to make baby stop crying, or the quick lap around to get the blood flowing (just make sure the seat belt sign is not on), I’m talking about the trek from coach, through business class, all the way up to first class, and around again. People pay big money for those premium class seats and they do not want to be disturbed by you or your adorable little monster, which is why when the flight attendant in charge got the call, I assumed – we all assumed – there was just another child making the rounds.

Hey, it happens. But it’s our job to keep it from happening.

Unfortunately, in this case, there was nothing to stop from happening, because the child turned out to be a teenager, a very well mannered one, and the teenager happened to be looking for her father who was supposed to be sitting in first class while the rest of the family sat in coach. His empty seat had apparently been unoccupied the entire flight. No one had noticed. Immediately the purser grabbed the paperwork and sure enough, we really were missing a passenger in first class, and we were three hours into the flight.

Turns out the father had decided to run and get something to read at the bookstore prior to departure while the rest of the family boarded the aircraft and took their seats in main cabin. Because they were in coach and he was (supposed to be) in first class, they had no idea he never made it back in time. Can you imagine his face when he got to the gate and found the plane, along with his family, had departed to New York without him?

Which brings me to the lesson of the day. Passengers, do be on time! The airplane will not wait for you, even when you’re seated in first class. Flight attendants, do not assume anything, especially when it comes to passengers. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something new happens.

Photos courtesy of (little girl) artolog (first class seat) Richard Moross

Galley Gossip: Lindsay Lohan throws a fit when she’s denied a first class seat!

by Heather Poole on

Lindsay Lohan caused “chaos” at the airport in Tampa, Florida on Saturday morning when she was denied a first class seat on an overbooked flight, reports The Huffington Post. Chaos, their word, not mine, is a word that makes me wonder, just what kind of chaos could little old Lindsay create at the airport surrounded by hundreds of passengers?

Do they mean that she stood hovering over the ticket agent until the agent solved her problem, not allowing other passengers to check in? I see passengers do that all the time. Do they mean that she got upset when she didn’t get a seat in the cabin she bought a ticket in? Well she spent a lot of money on that ticket! Wouldn’t you get upset if you purchased something you did not receieve? Why should Lindsay be judged more harshly than we judge each other just because she’s a celebrity?

Trust me when I tell you that quite a few passengers, and I’m talking about the non-celebrity kind, complain about things that are even more ridiculous than not getting the first class seat they bought. A few months ago a passenger threw a fit because he was seated in the last row of coach. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a good seat, but SOMEONE has to sit there, maybe even you. I mean why not you? Am I wrong?

Was Lindsay wrong when she stomped her feet and told a friend traveling with her that they better come back to coach and visit her in case she dies?

You do see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Passengers can be a bit melodramtic, even celebrity passengers, when they walk on board a flight and things don’t go their way. Does that mean we have the right to criticize? I don’t know, you decide.

Maybe Lindsay behaved a little childish. Then again, maybe not. Lindsay is a celebrity and people do hound celebrities. A few years ago I had to practically stand between first class and coach the entire flight to keep passengers from bothering Magic Johnson, who, I must say, was one of the nicest passengers (celebrity or not) I’ve ever met. And last week I saw Toni Collette run through the John F. Kennedy airport holding Sage, her beautiful baby girl. The only reason I recognized her was because of the swarm of paparazzi following fast behind her to the first class check-in counter. Then a few days later I saw Jeff Goldblum placing a backpack on the conveyor belt and walking in striped socks through the security check point at the Los Angeles International Airport. The only reason I noticed him was because of all the flash bulbs going off behind me and passengers pointing their cell phones at him – click click! People have a thing for celebrities. And I’ll admit I’m one of them.

Remember that passenger I mentioned above, the one who didn’t want to sit in the last row, he also stomped his feet and threw a fit, and then he demanded that I find another passenger to sit in his seat, that I move him up to the front of the aircraft, but only an aisle seat would do! No one was swarming him. In fact, just the opposite was happening aboard that flight.

“But Sir,” I said, glancing around the cabin at all the passengers sitting in front of him who were shaking their heads no at me. “The flight is full. I can’t make someone sit in your seat just because you don’t want to sit there.”

“You’re a professional, do your job!” he demanded.

Even though we are professionals, there’s only so much a flight attendant can do on a full flight. If I have time, meaning I am not busy doing my inflight duties that need to be done before the aircraft can back away from the gate, I will ask people if they’re willing to move, but I can not make anyone move. Oh I’ll do my best, especially if children are involved, but you can’t get picky when it comes to the seat.

Now my question to Linds is why didn’t her friend in first class switch seats with her? I bet if she’d arrived to the airport and checked in a little bit earlier, she wouldn’t have had this problem. Then again, I wasn’t there and I do not know all the details. Who knows what really happened that day?

What I do know is eventually Lindsay was moved up to first class. I’m glad that she got her seat. She paid for it. She deserved it. Anyway, It’s not that she doesn’t want to sit in coach, or that coach is beneath her, it’s just who wants to be surrounded by 200 passengers analyzing her every move, like the Huffington Post did? Like we’re doing right now. That’s why I’m siding with Lindsay on this one!

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Photo courtesy of (Lindsay Lohan) The Curse of Brian, (Magic Johnson) Malingering – flickr.com

Check out these other “naughty ladies of the sky” —


Separation of the airline classes made clear in a photo

by Scott Carmichael on

This is the kind of photo I could probably post without wasting too many words on. If you ever wondered what kind of perks a first class ticket will get you, then think about the coach class passengers up to their knees in freezing cold water, watching the first class passengers take a comfortable seat in the raft.

I wonder whether any of the first class passengers demanded some hot nuts and a drink?

(Photo from Calacanis.com)

Galley Gossip: Rock of Love – on the airplane!

by Heather Poole on

“When he walked aboard the flight the first thing I saw were the boots, and then the cool jeans and long blond hair. He didn’t wear any makeup and his skin was clear and soft, a beautiful complexion. Then I noticed the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. We were flying from Orlando to Los Angeles, I think,” said my mother, who is also a flight attendant for the same U.S airline that I work for.

“I remember thinking to myself when he walked past me to his first class seat, Oh no, this is going to be a difficult flight. Because of the rock-n-roll connection. I don’t like trouble on my flights,” my mother added rather sternly.

“How did you know it was him?” I asked as I plopped down beside her on the sofa in the crashpad. Together we sat side by side watching him, the guy wearing the cool jeans and the long blond hair, on television.

“I just knew. Maybe it was the bandanna,” she said.

My mother was talking about Bret Michaels, of course, star of the reality TV show Rock of Love Bus on VH1.

So what do two flight attendants who are both on reserve at the same time do when they’re waiting for crew schedule to call and send them who-knows-where at a moments notice? They watch TV, and I mean a lot of TV. Me, I like the reality shows. I’m not afraid to admit it. My mom, she likes to watch the weather channel and Fox news. So imagine my surprise when I came home from a horrendous two-day trip, a trip that I’ll be writing about soon, and found my mother – my mother! – sitting on the sofa and watching Rock of Love Bus.

“I don’t know how he can stand looking at all of them,” my mother said, not once peeling her eyes away from all of them, all of those scantily dressed women desperate to get Bret’s attention on the television show. “They all look the same, don’t they? I’m surprised he doesn’t go for a more classy type of girl, a Jacquelyn Kennedy type.”

I burst out laughing. I mean we were talking about Bret Michaels, were we not? Somehow I couldn’t imagine Jackie Kennedy on the bus, particularly that bus!

“I just think he deserves better than this!” She pointed at the television just as one of the female contestants began dancing around a pole. She shook her head. “He’s a smart guy. Believe me, there’s a lot more to him than this show and these goofy girls.”

As I watched the man being manhandled by several half naked women, I mumbled to myself, “I can’t remember which band was he in.”

“Poison,” my mother said matter of fact. I looked at her. She looked at me. “Oh wipe that stunned look off your face!”

Now flight attendants see celebrities sitting in first class all the time. In fact, on my very first flight back in 1995 I had Goldie Hawn onboard. Last night I saw Peter Greenberg and Kanye West. After awhile you just get used to seeing them. It’s no big deal. And while some celebrity passengers make good impressions, others don’t. I won’t be going there. But trust me when I tell you that flight attendants have all kinds of celebrity passenger stories to share. Only when it comes to celebrities on the airplane, my mother is the last person to get star struck. Except for the time she chatted with one of the lead singers in the band Air Supply and the time Al Gore said hello to her in the airport terminal, she rarely ever mentions famous people.

“Why do you like Bret Michaels so much,” I asked, because…well…I know why I like him. He has a great sense of humor! But my mother?

“He just made a very good impression,” she said. “Which is why I don’t get what exactly is going on with all these girls on this bus!”

So what was it, exactly, about Bret Michaels that made such an impression on this somewhat conservative woman, my mother?

“His manners,” she said. “That’s what really stood out about him.” A few seconds later she added,” As I was refilling beverages in the aisle, I noticed him having a long and friendly conversation with his seatmate, not a young hot bimbo, but an older conservatively dressed business man. They really seemed to be enjoying each others company. He seems to be the kind of guy who can get along with anyone and everyone, and he’s one of the most pleasant passengers I’ve ever encountered.”

Which just goes to show, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover – or bandanna. And that goes for passengers and flight attendants alike!

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Photos courtesy of (Rock of Love bus) Robot_Zombie_Monkey and (Rock of Love, the first season) Hortensia V

Galley Gossip: Where did the service go?

by Heather Poole on

Recently I read an interesting article in the New York Times, Up, Up, and Go Away, about an ex flight attendant who worked for TWA in the 1970’s when flight attendants were known as stewardesses and stewardesses were as glamorous as movie stars and passengers were treated like royalty and flying was..well…just better – in every way possible! The stewardess featured in the article above wrote about a recent flight she took from Miami to Charlotte and the lack of customer service onboard the airplane, on the ground, as well as the downfall of flying in general.

She wrote…

I have experienced the decline of service along with the rest of the flying public. But I believe I have felt it more acutely because I remember the days when to fly was to soar. The airlines, and their employees, took pride in how their passengers were treated. A friend who flew for Pan Am and I have a friendly rivalry over which airline was better. Friendly, yes. But we each believe we worked for the best.

Well that’s funny because I think I work for the best airline, and that’s an airline that’s still in business. And for the record, I, too, take pride in my job, as well as the way I treat my passengers, and this is during a time when passengers bash airlines for sport. Hey, times have changed. Flight attendants have changed. Passengers have changed. Technology has changed. Every single thing has changed. Has it not?

She wrote…

Airlines offer valid excuses for cutting back service. But what are they gaining when passengers leave a flight disgruntled, mistreated and hungry? It is surprising how easy it is to please passengers. Cereal and lots of coffee in the morning can do wonders for someone who had to leave home at 4 a.m. Pretzels and peanuts handed out with drinks make a difference in an era of flight cancellations and long security lines.

Much like most memories, one tends to romanticize the past. I, too, worked when flight attendants handed out wings, playing cards and magazines, back when we had all the pillows and blankets a passenger could desire. I also served cereal as well as pretzels and three dinner choices – in coach – and trust me when I tell you just as many passengers complained about the service then as they do now.

“This is nothing but garbage!” one passenger shouted at me when I placed the penne pasta on the tray table in front of her. This happened in coach over ten years ago.

“Is this all you have?” is another response I heard often back in the day.

I also remember that airfares were three times what they are today, which enabled an airline to offer you three choices of garbage…I mean food…as well as amenities in coach. Sure ticket prices have gone up, but by comparison they’re cheaper than they were ten years ago. In 1995 I bought a ticket from New York to Dallas for $800. Last month I bought the same ticket for $350 – and that was for a flight during the holiday rush, which is the second busiest time of the year to travel!

She wrote…

What works best of all, of course, is a smile. I trained for six weeks to become a flight attendant. Although the main focus was safety, I spent almost as much time learning good service. Airline employees’ frustration and exasperation are all too evident to their passengers.

Yet as I stand at the door and greet my passengers with a smile on my face and a friendly “Hello, how are you?” half the time my greeting is either met with a sour face and goes unanswered or I’m told exactly how they are, which is never good. After four of five snide remarks I eventually stop asking how people are, I’m too afraid! Keep in mind, it’s not easy for me, either, but I still try to smile, even though I’ve been working just under the FAA legal limit. My layover is not the same layover experienced thirty years ago by stewardesses in the past who had 48 hours of free time before having to work one trip home. Based on my schedule of the last six years, I average 8 hours between the time I say “Buh-bye” and the time I say “Welcome aboard” and push back from the gate again.

She wrote…

Once, stuck on a tarmac in Newark for four hours, a planeload of passengers got McDonald’s hamburgers and fries courtesy of the airline.

Not only do passengers have to bring their own McDonald’s food onboard these days, I have to make sure that the passenger who keeps getting up and down and going into the lav with a cell phone in one hand and a crumpled McDonald’s bag in the other isn’t up to any funny business. While I, too, trained for seven weeks to become a flight attendant, learning good customer service skills, I was also sent back to training in 2001 to learn what to do in case of a terrorist hijacking. That’s why I might not be smiling as I serve drinks down the aisle in coach. I’ve got my eye on that passenger whose been acting a little strangely. A stewardess never had to carry hand cuffs, etc, in their tote bags, but a flight attendant does.

The decline in service is a direct result of ticket prices today, which is why our flights are always full, staffed with minimum crew, and why people who couldn’t afford to fly thirty years ago are flying today? And that, I think, is a good thing, in a way. The airlines are giving passengers what they truly want – affordable prices. Not embossed napkins. People are no longer willing to pay for service, and the airlines can’t afford to give it away for free, not anymore, not in this day and age. Which is why all you get on a flight is a cramped seat, a can of soda, and a paper napkin – in coach – while getting from point A to point B as safely as possible and for as cheaply as possible. If better service is desired, you have the option to pay for it by purchasing a ticket in one of the premium cabins. It’s up to you.

When I first started flying fourteen years ago, passengers in the premium cabins enjoyed the fine dining experience we provided, which is still pretty much the same service we provide in 2008. Only now, unlike then, the seats in first class and business class are always full. There are more top tiered frequent fliers battling it out for those oh so precious upgrades than ever before. A premium class passenger spends about $6,000 to fly from coast to coast, which in todays weak economy is hard for an executive to justify in an expense report to management, which explains why luxury airlines like EOS and MaxJet went out of business in less than one year.

And with all the electronic devices brought onboard today, passengers in our premium cabins don’t really want the long drawn out service of yesterday, no matter what they say, because when they want to eat, they want it now, and they want it fast, and when they’re done, they’re done!

“Take it away!” I often hear, and before the meal tray is even lifted from the table the computer is out and the fingers are typing.

What bothers me the most about these types of articles, and there are many, is the way in which people still want to compare flying back then to now. Can you really compare the two? No other industry in the United States is criticized as harshly, with such backwards thinking, as the aviation industry. When you talk about those glorious days when all the stewardesses were young and beautiful and wore hot pants and mini skirts and smiled as they lit your cigarette in the piano lounge onboard the 747 to Paris, keep in mind that flight attendants weren’t allowed to get married or have children and were subjected to periodical weigh-ins before their trips. Sounds good you say? Well don’t forget that with all the glamour came a lot of empty seats. Back then only the privileged could fly. So just remember that the next time you purchase a ticket and want to reminisce about the good old days.

Photos courtesy of (vintage black and white) Carbonated, (Passengers) Heather Poole, (Computer) Heather Poole