An inside look at off-the-books elite airline programs

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Imagine an airline experience free of middle seats, standing in line or dealing with nut-job flight attendants who withhold orange juice, water and any other service not related to “safety.” Tom Stuker, it seems, doesn’t have to close his eyes and pretend: he lives the dream. He’s spent 700,000 in non-middle seats this year alone, with complimentary cocktails, a hidden check-in process and a taste of luxury not present even in first class having become the norm for him.

Now, with 8.8 million miles racked up on United over his travel-intensive career, Stuker has been admitted to an elite frequent flier program, of the sort we covered here at Gadling not to long ago. This is the type of secret society noted in George Clooney‘s new flick, “Up in the Air.” Airlines don’t like to talk about it, but they actually do treat people well on occasion. You just have to spend a fortune to matter enough to them.

United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski Janikowski likens the airlines super-duper-premium offer, Global Services, to Yale’s Skull and Bones society. Like the elite underworld of the Ivy League, its members include CEOs, senators and other people envied by the rest of us.

So, how does this work?

1. You get a special check-in area. Avoid the great unwashed, and get greeted by name, as a concierge, of sorts, dispatches with your bags quickly. Your boarding passes will be waiting for you. At some airports, you’ll be able to pass through a hidden door to the front of the security checkpoint.

2. You’ll be watched. When? Well, when you move to the front of anything. We are all aware of those guys who occasionally are allowed to board before the elderly – before any announcements are made.

3. You’ll choose first. For everything, all the time. The meal will come to you before anyone else even knows there’s food on the plane.

4. Your lost luggage is scouted. If the airline loses your luggage, they actually try to find your luggage. Actively. A special team takes care of this.

None of this is truly life-changing, though, except the security piece. The real value of being a member of this type of secret society becomes apparent when something goes wrong … not unusual when airline employees are involved.

If you have a connection that’s too tight, the airline will rebook you on the next available flight – while you are still in the sky. A special agent will meet you at the gate with your new boarding pass, and a set of wheels will be furnished to take you to the next gate. If you need to go through security again, you’ll be escorted personally. In rare cases, a car will be waiting for you to dart you across the tarmac to your next plane. Terminals are for prolie scum.

Thinking back to Stuker, he’s got insane props with several airlines, but his favorite is United, because, “I am treated like a king.” Simply, he notes, “If I was in coach, I would shoot myself.”

Galley Gossip: A flight attendant responds to Senator Schumer’s outburst

by Heather Poole on

No one likes to be told what to do.

After the announcement had been made to turn off and stow all electronic devices, a flight attendant noticed Senator Schumer still chatting away on his cell phone and asked him to turn it off. He complied, but not without a fight. He argued that because the aircraft door had not been shut at the time of the announcement he was entitled to use the phone. The flight attendant, who was reported by Politico.com as being polite throughout the incident, told Schumer that she didn’t make the rules, just followed them, and with that she walked away. That’s when Senator Schumer made a big time passenger faux pas. He turned to his seat mate, Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, and uttered the B_word under his breath.

I can’t help but wonder what Senator Kirsten Gillibrand had to think of Senator Schumer’s childish behavior. Especially at the ease in which the word was used!

While I understand that passengers don’t like to be ordered around, especially on an airplane by a lowly flight attendant who should know the customer is always right even when that customer is breaking an FAA regulation, this story is really much deeper than that. It’s about respect – or lack thereof. The airplane is a microcosm of the world and the Senator’s outburst is just another example of how society behaves today. Take it from me, the one stuck in a flying tube for hours on end with passengers from all walks of life, it’s a me-me-me, A.D.D world out there. Don’t believe me? Pay attention next time.

When I heard Brian Fallon, Senator Schumer’s spokesperson, had stated that the senator regrets making the “off-the-cuff comment,” I wondered if the Senator would have thought twice about what he’d said if the story hadn’t made headlines? Doubt it. Oh and did you notice that nothing was mentioned in terms of an apology regarding the use of his cell phone at a time when it was not permitted, which is what triggered the outburst in the first place? I’m not surprised.

Want to know what I love most about this story?

This type of bad behavior over nonsense is just a regular part of my work day. Flight attendants constantly have to remind passengers, and re-remind them, and then re-remind them again, to turn off their phones. Passengers usually respond by either out right ignoring us or by hiding the device under their thigh until the flight attendant has passed and it is safe to resume the conversation. Last month on a flight from New York to Dallas, I had to tell fourteen passengers – fourteen! – that it was time to turn off and put away their electronic devices after a PA had been delivered not once, but twice! I even had to firmly tap, tap, tap a man on the shoulder, a man with his head shoved between his knees, in order to inform him that I was well aware he wasn’t conversing with the floor. His seatmates chuckled. The passenger just glared at me.

On another flight I witnessed the following conversation take place in first class…

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Excuse me, Sir, it’s time to-

PASSENGER: Can’t you see I’m on the phone, bitch!

I couldn’t believe my ears! I was even more shocked at what happened next. The flight attendant actually acted like it was no big deal someone had just called her a bitch and even left the passenger alone to finish his conversation. Maybe the flight attendant was just used to being treated like crap and therefore thought nothing of it. Perhaps the flight attendant was a fan of the passengers work and figured the well-known rapper meant nothing by the word used so often in lyrics. But could it be that this kind of reaction by a flight attendant is why so many passengers feel they can bark at us and get what they want? Who knows. All I know is if I went around calling passengers bitches whenever I didn’t like what they had to say, I’d be out of a job. And apologizing about it after the fact would not make it okay.

Photos courtesy of Propublica and Kaiban

Delta Airlines offers free elite status to victims of flight attendant from hell

by Scott Carmichael on

Last week news of a particularly nasty incident on an American Airlines flight hit the blogs. Here at Gadling, we covered it, then our very own flight attendant posted her views on the story, and this weekend, the passenger in question responded.

To cut a long story short – a passenger in first class on an AA flight asked for a glass of orange juice, and ended up getting off the plane with a written warning handed to him by a psychotic flight attendant.

The whole story just got even better – because an executive at Delta Airlines is offering free gold elite status to any of the passengers involved in the “OJ Incident” on that flight.

To be honest, it’s probably the kind of offer I would gladly accept, as being written up for a beverage request is not the kind of treatment that would ever have me set food on their airline again. Best of all, the Delta Airlines executive is an ex-AA employee. Talk about trying to screw with your former employer.

What annoys me more than anything is how American Airlines has tried to stay out of the story. The Consumerist attempted to contact them, but has not heard back. Even the official American Airlines Twitter feed hasn’t mentioned the incident. I’m always looking to hear the other side of any aviation incident, but if American Airlines chooses to ignore this, then I suspect people will just assume the initial story is indeed correct and that there is no “other side”.

Galley Gossip: The first class / orange juice passenger responds to what happened in flight

by Heather Poole on

My Galley Gossip post, a flight attendant responds to the first class orange juice debacle, created quite a flurry of comments from people venting their frustrations out on flight attendants. Many readers accused me of defending Helen, the flight attendant mentioned in the letter published on the Consumerist web site. But I did not defend Helen. As a matter of fact, if the story is true, I think Helen needs time off until her issues are sorted out.

That said, I did defend flight attendants in general. At the end of the letter the witness to the orange juice incident transfers his anger from Helen on to flight attendants in general over the last twenty years. I’ve been a flight attendant for over fifteen years and I take pride in my job, as does so many of my colleagues whom provide excellent customer service on a regular bases. It saddens me that one bad apple can affect so many people.

Now this story was originally brought to light by David Koss, the passenger who wrote the letter to the Consumerist. He sat behind the passenger who ordered the orange juice, witnessing the entire debacle first hand. No one deserves to be treated badly – passengers and flight attendants alike. But I’m a firm believer that there are always two sides to every story, so who knows what really went down on that flight!

Now imagine my surprise, while scanning the comments under my post, when I found this, an actual response from the passenger directly involved in the incident…I am the airline passenger whose request for orange juice has caused so much internet traffic. Although the vast majority of the responses on the blogs have been overwhelmingly supportive of me, I’m surprised and disappointed at a few of them that have actually been empathetic towards the flight attendant. If I wrote everything that happened on that flight, my own response would be longer than most people would care to read. Thus, I’d like to point out a few facts for the time being:

1) Before that ill-fated flight, I had never even met the writer of the article that has caused so much internet discussion. He would have absolutely no reason to lie or embellish a story about someone he’d never met.

2) A passenger seated across from me later told an AA representative that at least four passengers had issues with this flight attendant, and added that I “happened to be the unlucky guy she exploded on.”

3) Every single passenger in my row as well as in the row behind me (thus, the only passengers that could see what transpired) all walked off the plane with me in unison when I was told that I’d have to meet with an AA representative at the arrival gate. At least two of them without my even asking volunteered to be witnesses for me.

4) All 6+ of these passengers/witnesses not only passionately defended me to the AA rep. at the gate, but all of them stayed to talk with her for at least 30 minutes. Most of them had either connecting flights or important places to go. (I’d like to ask the readers of this blog a question. If this type of thing had happened to you, even if you were totally “in the right”, what are the chances that every passenger in your section of the plane would walk off with you in unison and spend 30-60 minutes of their valuable time defending you to an AA representative.)

5) One passenger was so unnerved by her intimidating behavior that he told the AA representative that if this flight attendant was working his connecting flight, he would not board the plane.

6) My witnesses are not stressed-out, snotty businessmen as some have wondered about. Almost all of them belong to a women’s religious group that promotes peace. One could not have assembled a group of people that was more deferential and polite than this group.

7) Not only has AA already called me to profusely apologize, but they have called other passengers on that flight as well to apologize. I know of at least two others on that flight that have filed complaints with AA regarding incidents that were either partially or totally unrelated to my own.

8) I wanted to have this incident quickly fade away, and I diligently avoided engaging this flight attendant for the rest of the trip. The incident itself was not all that eventful. What was disturbing was that the flight attendant spent the rest of the flight attempting to get other passengers to testify for her regarding what had happened. As each passenger in my section individually told her that they disagreed with her version of the incident, the flight attendant progressively grew angrier and more determined to turn a “molehill into a mountain”.

9) For the readers of the article who think this flight attendant was just “having a bad day” and should be left alone, please remember that she handed me a formal warning that threatened potential legal action. The Customer Service Manager who met all of us at the arrival gate stated that while he was shocked by the story we all told in unison, also mentioned that the warning letter was a serious matter that had to be investigated by multiple entities. I ask the readers of this blog how they’d react after being told that by this Senior Manager, especially if they had literally millions of frequent flyer miles with this airline, as I do.

I’m happy to hear that the airline not only dealt with the situation immediately, but also apologized to those who witnessed what happened. As for passengers showing so much support to a fellow cabin mate, I’ve seen it time and time again. It does happen. More often than you’d think. Whenever something out of the ordinary happens on a flight – whether it be to the crew or to another passenger – there’s always a special bond that forms between those who were once strangers. It’s always nice to know that people really do care about others. I’m glad the “orange juice” passnger wrote in and set the record straight. I know many of you had questions, as did I. Something tells me we won’t be hearing Helen’s side of the story. That’s probably a good thing. Hope your next flight is a good one!

So….any chance there’s a passenger out there who might actually have a good airline / flight attendant story to share?

Photos courtesy of kappuru and thezipper

Galley Gossip: A flight attendant responds to the first class orange juice debacle

by Heather Poole on

If you haven’t already heard, there was some sort of debacle involving a flight attendant and a glass of orange juice on an American Airlines flight recently. I read about the story first on the Consumerist web site. Wait, take that back, I tried to read the article but couldn’t quite make it through due to the fact that the story was just way too over the top with emotion and drama. It was! But they usually are whenever there’s a flight attendant or an airline involved. Haven’t you noticed?

Then when I heard our very own Annie Scott had covered the same story here, I dreaded pulling it up. I really didn’t want to read it. Only because airline bashing seems to be a new sport and…well…I knew it couldn’t be good. But I took a deep breath and began reading Annie’s post anyway. Two seconds later I found myself laughing because Annie’s right, your mother would tell you to go get your own dang orange juice! And I’m glad she brought up that old magazine ad featured along with the Consumerist post. That was the first thing that turned me off about the article. I mean what the heck were they thinking using a milf-y photograph of a stewardess curled up in a chair? Really, I need to know.

Anyway, here’s my response to David and what he had to say about what went down on that crazy American Airlines flight from Sacramento to Dallas…

Dear David,

Slow your roll. By my arithmetic, you and your group of 130 people fly 27,300 trips collectively. Each of you having a unique traveling experience based upon where you’re sitting and who your flight attendant is. I would love to have one bad experience for every 27,300 legs I’ve flown. I would say you and your group have had a good run. And now I must welcome you with open arms to the human race. I can’t imagine that you have gone through an entire career without once having a bad day.

Whoever Helen was, it’s obvious she needs a day off. Maybe even a medical type intervention. She’s obviously off her game. Instead of complaining, whispering, and giving her the feeling that a mutiny is about to take place, being the frequent flier that you are, you should have known that this was not normal behavior – from not just a flight attendant, but from anyone in the service industry. You and your group would have done Helen a favor by reporting her irrational behavior to someone in a position of authority at American Airlines instead of continuing on with your flight.

I, too, have noticed a decline in customer service on most every airline, not just American. I also know that flight attendants have longer duty days and shorter rest periods so that airlines can maximize their profits and provide you and your group with cheap three hundred-dollar tickets. This while our compensation remains the same and we’re all just lucky to have a job. Flight attendants work ten hour days without a break, not even a meal, yet any type of complaining to the airline by an employee may guarantee a front row seat at the front of the unemployment line. That’s the way it is these days.

If I were the passenger who had asked for orange juice and the flight attendant gave me what boils down to a federal warning with criminal and civil penalties, I would have insisted that police or gate personnel meet the flight. I would have also asked that my cabin mates confirm her irrational and abusive behavior. While I agree it was absurd that the flight attendant issued a written warning in this situation, don’t kid yourself, David, those terrorists, the ones you mentioned, very well could be sitting right next to you in first class drinking orange juice.

Sincerely,

Heather
A Flight Attendant

Photos courtesy of Justin Timperio and Paalia