Extra airline fees could mean better service! This is the FUTURE

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Soon, airlines could make all their profits on the extra fees you pay. Seriously. Yesterday, the Department of Transportation revealed that airlines have had their most profitable year since it started tracking the data back in 2002. And, a good chunk of revenue came from baggage fees, reservation change fees and ancillary fees. In the third quarter alone, it was good for more than $2 billion. So, the foundation is in place. All the airlines need to do is build on it.

And, it looks like some are trying to do that.

According to MSNBC, US Airways President Scott Kirby said that baggage fees and ancillary fees could add up to 100 percent of the airlines profits this year. We’re not talking about some future development, here. This is now. We’ve been talking for a while about how airlines are coming to rely on these fees. Last year, it was an issue of surviving the recession; this year, it’s been about driving profits. Regardless of prevailing economic conditions, it’s clear these fees aren’t going anywhere. It would stand to reason, therefore, that they’d become a larger part of airlines’ profits over time.

But, 100 percent? How would that work? Let’s take a look.First, think about the trend in reduced amenities, putting aside the weird stuff you read about this morning. Food isn’t free, and you’re paying for bags and premium coach seating (think exit row and bulkhead). This lowers airline costs on an available seat mile basis.

Now, what does it mean to lower costs? Well, it provides the elbow room to compete more effectively on fares – translation: cheaper tickets. So, in theory at least, this puts more butts in seats. The lower cost, however, erodes profit per available seat mile, because there isn’t as much revenue assigned to it.

This is where the fees come in.

If all you buy is a seat, you score! You’ll have the chance to get it for less than you would have paid otherwise. If you’re the kind of person who goes to the movies and sneaks in your own snacks, you’re all set. But, the minute you need something else, you’re going to have to pay. This is where the airlines can make their profits. Essentially, getting you into a seat becomes a marketing opportunity for everything you sell. Going back to the movie theater example, it’s equivalent to the previews you see that implore you to go out to the lobby and grab some popcorn. And, they can pump up the prices on food, liquor, bag-checking and so on to make up what they’re effectively giving away on a break-even seat.

Of course, this is a bit oversimplified, but you get the idea. The future of airlines may be to turn a cheap seat into an opportunity to up-sell you on everything else. Frankly, it isn’t a bad idea. In addition to making tickets cheaper, the flight attendants will need to sell in order to help the airline turn a profit. Sales without service is usually a fool’s errand, so a shift in strategy of this sort will lead to better passenger treatment. Maybe we’ll actually be treated like customers!

All these extra fees may not be such a bad idea after all. The airlines don’t realize this, but if they make all their money on the amenities, they’ll actually have to deliver an enjoyable experience.

Let’s pay less to pay extra and be treated like human beings in the process.

[photo by Augapfel via Flickr]

The 10 easiest ways to improve air travel this holiday season

by Tom Johansmeyer on

It’s time for you to drag your screaming kids, annoying spouse and endless amounts of overstuffed bags through the airport, as you find your way over the river and through the woods. Thanksgiving is behind us, and that’s the really ugly time to travel, but Christmas is no picnic either. The gate areas and bars will be crowded, and it’s going to be awfully hard for you to be happy while darting from Point A to Point B.

How nice it would be if we could all follow some fairly specific rules designed to keep each other from blowing up – and make all our travel experiences far more efficient. Just under a week after I started at Gadling, two years ago, I wrote six ways to “[m]ake your flight (and mine) easier this holiday season.” As we approach Christmas, this list is definitely worth another look.

In the 700+ days since writing that post, I’ve done more flying and more travel writing. Consequently, I’ve accumulated a bit more knowledge … and a handful of additional pet peeves. A lot has changed since late 2008. The global financial crisis, originally putting severe pressure on the travel market, has given way to something of a recovery, forcing airlines and online travel agents to compete head to head for your business. And, even though ticket prices are up 13 percent year over year, they are still far below peak levels — and may be at their lowest in 15 years. In some environments, pricing is even flat year over year.

So, it makes sense to revisit this issue. Below, you’ll find 10 ways to make holiday travel a lot better for everyone:

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1. Know what you’re getting into: be ready for poor service, big crowds and unreasonable people (from passengers to crew members). It is what it is. Lamenting the social injustices committed will get you nowhere, and you’ll become the barrier to progress that you so despise already.

2. Pay the damned extra baggage fee: the overhead bins will be full. Even though airlines are adding capacity as the travel market recovers, they’re not being generous. So, be realistic about the size of the bags you try to cram overhead or under seat – and expect the rest of the people on the plane to have the same overhead plan. If everyone were more realistic from the start, flying would be much, much easier.

3. Bring stuff to keep the kids busy: don’t expect young children to be reasonable – they’re young children. I have enough trouble staying reasonable, and by all chronological measures, I’ve been an adult for a while. If you have kids, it is your job to entertain them (or help them entertain themselves). It may take a village, but you left that at home.

The problem with people today is they have to be entertained 24/7. That’s why they’re at their worst on the airplane.less than a minute ago via webHeather_Poole
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Also, check this out from a couple of years ago:

Forget every rule of good parenting. Sometimes, you need to let your kid cry to learn a lesson. Here’s the problem: we don’t need to learn that lesson, too. Do what it takes to keep your kid under control. If that means coloring books, candy or … dare I say it … active parenting, do it. Do what it takes. Your round trip involves two days of your kid’s childhood. Whatever you do for the sake of expediency will not make a lasting impression.

4. Pay attention to the flight attendants (for a change): look, do you want to be responsible for creating the next Steven Slater? Of course not. Even if you are forced to deal with unreasonable requests demands from them – not to mention horrid customer service – it’s a lot easier just to play ball. Save your fights for truth, justice and the American way for a flying season that isn’t insanely busy. In the end, doing battle with a nutty flight attendant is only going to keep you from getting to your destination and away from the plane as soon as possible, so it makes sense to sacrifice your principles.

Add to this my advice from a while back:

Know when to quit. We all love to scream at airline employees, and we know they are lying to us. When they say that weather caused the problem on a sunny day, when they say that there are no more exit row seats, when they say the flight is overbooked … we just know it’s bullshit. So, we fight. Sometimes, it works. Appeasement in the form of flight vouchers, hotel stays and free meals sometimes flow. But, at a certain point, you need to know when to stop. If you’re on a full flight of people with super-triple-platinum status (and you’re not), don’t expect to get a damned thing. Accept that you will lose.

Fighting the good fight is okay, but at a certain point, you lose the crowd’s sympathy. Be aware that people who look like serial killers don’t often get what they want (or need).

5. Keep your mouth shut: don’t share your life story with gate agents, TSA employees or anyone else. Nobody cares. Even if you do forge a momentary connection, it will have evaporated by the time you’re stuffing a stale Nathan’s hotdog into your once-talking mouth.

6. Step into the damned body scanner: the whole “opt-out” thing didn’t work right before Thanksgiving. So, it’s time to give up on this. You’ll live. There were no reports of people growing extra heads because they went through the body scanners a month ago. And, the odds do seem awfully low that your pictures will wind up on some strange airline-fetish porn site.

Seriously, just deal. Okay?

7. Be smart at the security checkpoint: this is an important one, because it’s so easy to cause the line to back up. I’m just going to plug in my suggestions from Christmas 2008:

Don’t prepare for the security stop when you’ve already bellied up to the X-ray machine. While you’re in line, do the following:

1. Pull your laptop out of your bag (if you have one)
2. Take your ID (license or passport) out of your pocket, bag, etc.; hold it with your boarding pass
3. Empty your pockets into your carry-on; do the same with your watch, cell phone and any heavy jewelry
4. Remove your shoes, and carry them on top of your laptop
5. Repeat #4 with your coat and hat

Now, you have a stack of personal belongings on top of your laptop. Carry them like you did your books back in grade school. You can drop the laptop into one bin for the X-ray machine, pick up the clothing and drop them in the next bin. It’s fast. It’s easy. It doesn’t leave you screwing around while people are waiting.

8. Look at the rules in advance: know what you can get through airport security and what you’ll have to check or leave behind. We’re in the internet age, so it’s not like you need to fax a request to the TSA or drive to the airport to scope out the signs. And, I’ll even make it easy for you: here’s the TSA list of prohibited items.

9. BYOB on the plane: whether it’s burgers or booze, take care of it ahead of time. Make your purchases at the food court or pack them at home. If you don’t be ready for whatever is being served on the plane. Have the appropriate form of payment ready. Keep in mind that airline food tends not to be terribly healthy, so if you want to keep your arteries clear (or clog them even more aggressively), take control of your culinary future.

10. Stay flexible: some situations will be within your control, but many will not. Understand what you can change and what you’ll have to live with, and the process will get a lot easier for you.

[photo by The Consumerist via Flickr]

Galley Gossip: Gifts for flight attendants (and travelers)

by Heather Poole on

A stun gun, Xanax, travel massager that glows in the dark, ten foot pole for not touching things with, these are just a few of the things my flight attendant friends want for Christmas. What, not your gift-giving style? Okay so perhaps one of these will do….

1. PASSPORT COVER – In this day and age you might not want to advertise your country of origin. Not to mention it’s kind of fun dressing up the old passport some of you should be very proud of based on the number of stamps inside. If you’re a passenger, check out the adorable covers at Flushshop.com. Flight attendants will want to go with Modcloth’s Safety Misinformation Passport Wallet. (pictured)

2. BAG TAGS – All those crew bags lined up against the wall in flight operations look alike. No one wants to end up on a layover with clothes we’ve never seen before. A unique bag tag will help. One of the the funniest ones I’ve ever seen read “Baggage Handlers are Hot.” Ya know that bag made it to its final destination! Flight attendant Bailey loves Anne Taintor’s line of sassy, vintage bag tags. (And he’s going to kill me for sharing this with you.)

3. OVEN MITTS – The oven racks are hot, hot, hot! This is why flight attendants no longer have fingerprints. Because I’m always accidentally leaving mine behind on the airplane, I can never have too many pairs. Flight attendant Eric is a fan of Grips. As for me, I like Fred’s Hot Head dog shaped insulating mitt.

4. MINI TRAVEL ROLLER SET – Looking good is important to flight attendants. This is not always easy when our layovers are only eight hours long and we’re scheduled to work ten to fourteen hours a day. But somehow flight attendant Joann always manages to look fabulous and I have a feeling it has something to do with her Conair mini roller set.5. GREEN TRAVEL/REUSABLE TOTES – My friend Melanie can tell domestic flight attendants from international ones by the bags they carry on their layovers – Harrods vs Trader Joe’s. For just $2.99 you can help us show off our travel style with a fun international tote from World Market. Or how about (sending me) a Loot Bag from Anya Hindmarch, creator of the “I’m not a plastic bag” bag.

6. TRAVEL SOUND MACHINE – At the layover hotels, flight attendants are usually assigned one of two rooms – the one across from the elevator or the one next to the ice machine. My friend Cady wouldn’t have been able to survive a Disney Cruise or her last visit with the in-laws without her Brookstone travel sound machine. It’s great at blocking out noise from others.

7. TIFFANY’S AIRPLANE CHARM BRACELET – Because it’s from Tiffany’s! And it’s an airplane. Need I say more?!

8. A FULL FARE TICKET – So we can actually get to where we’re going! The flights are full and flying standby is not always an option anymore. Earlier this year Jet Blue offered a 30 day all-you-can-jet pass for just $599. Something like that would have been amazing for the commuter in your life.

9. VIDEO CAMERA – Documenting travels can be just as fun, if not more fun, than actually traveling! Don’t believe me? Just ask Sodwee, AKA Airboy – or better yet watch one of his videos. I love the Flip because it’s easy to use.

10. iPAD – Staying connected to family, friends is very important. Being able to do a last minute trip trade is just as important! So is watching movies, listening to music, and surfing the web on a layover. That said, nothing in the world would make a flight attendant happier than an iPad. Santa, you listening?!

Check out my 2009 Gift Guide

Former flight attendant feels overwhelmed and tubby

by Tom Johansmeyer on

During a visit at the Queens Criminal Court to report on his substance abuse treatment progress, former JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater said, “I am a little overwhelmed.” He added, “I’m trying to stay focused and organized and keeping my priorities straight,” according to the NY Post.

The former flight attendant was ordered into counseling as part of a plea agreement to two counts of criminal mischief. He also lost his job and has agreed to pay JetBlue $10,000 to replace the chute he used to slide to freedom after an altercation with a passenger. There’s been no indication of whether he has to reimburse the airline for the Blue Moon beer he took with him.

The judge advised that Slater not “get worn out with all your activities” and suggested that he “have a good holiday season.”

Outside the courthouse, a photographer paid Slater a compliment on his appearance, but the latter didn’t agree, saying, “I need to lose 25 pounds.”

Flight attendant trainee suing Qantas for failure to provide shrink

by Tom Johansmeyer on

So, you’re new on the job. In fact, your title still has “trainee” in it. And then something goes wrong. That’s enough to make you go home, pop the cork on a bottle of wine and lament the fact that you work for a third world company. Now, imagine the whole thing happening 30,000 feet from the ground. Yeah, it sucks. You need more than a bottle of wine to take the edge off at that point. In fact, there’s probably a good chance you’d want some counseling.

Well, that’s exactly what Jessie Holgersson wanted, and she doesn’t feel she got it fast enough.

According to AM, an ABC morning show in Australia, Holgersson, a flight attendant on the Qantas 747 that had an engine fire, didn’t get counseling until a day after the incident. Her attorney “says that was too late and claims that Miss Holgersson was discriminated against for raising safety concerns about the airline’s lack of care.” Yeah … lawyer. Discrimination. Do the math: Holgerrson is suing.

Says Holgersson:

I was on my second training flight, we’d just flown from Sydney to Singapore, and everything went great on that flight and we had a nice day in Singapore and then we were heading back home and everything seemed normal and fine and about sort of six minutes after take-off we had an incident with our engine nut blew out.

She adds that “afterwards we were told that it was a fairly normal occurrence and these things can happen and, you know, not to worry about it too much.”

To make matters worse, according to AM, “The trainee was not given a permanent job.”

Qantas says through a spokeswoman that “Miss Holgersson was being assessed for possible employment by a UK cabin crew subsidiary at the time of the flight, with any position to be based out of London.” The company cites her behavior in training as the reason it didn’t offer her a position – and that she didn’t want to work out of the UK.

As to the claim that the flight attendants weren’t provided with counseling, Qantas says that it provided immediate and appropriate support.

[photo by Skazama via Flickr]