Galley Gossip: Groped on the airplane, what to do?

by Heather Poole on

Groped on the airplane, it happens. A lot. Has it happened to you?

A few years ago I found myself standing in the business class galley with a few of my colleagues, when a very large man who worked for a very large company walked into the galley with an empty glass. Now this very large man, the one with the very large job title, had a seat in first class, which should have been my first warning sign. Passengers in first class do not wander back to business class. As I filled his glass with whiskey, I felt a little pinch on my you know what. I jumped, eyes wide, looked at him, looked at the crew, looked back at him, and did not say a word. No one said a word. And then he did it again.

I had forgotten all about that incident until I read a hilarious article (or maybe a not so hilarious article, depending on who you are and how you feel about these kinds of things) about a writer named Jeremy Langmead and his recent experience on a Virgin redeye flight to New York. The story, Get a Grip of Yourself, Madam, Not me, was posted on the Guardian.co.uk website. As the title suggests, Jeremy got manhandled on the airplane by his seatmate, Louise. We’ll get to that later, because what happened next is just as interesting.

Now I had just about finished writing this post (or was it that post?) when comments from another post I had recently written, Middle Seat Etiquette, came pouring in. And wouldn’t you know it, a Gadling reader named Ben had a very similar experience with his seatmate. Only this wasn’t just a young drunk woman named Louise, this was a middle-aged woman with a son the same age as Ben!

Here’s Ben’s horrible (double whammy) experience of being groped in a middle seat…

This could have happened in any seat, but it so happened to occur one of the few times I found myself in a middle seat. I usually have enough notice before a flight date that I can scrounge up a window or aisle, but this time I just found out a few hours before, so I had to take a middle seat. I was between a middle-aged gentleman at the window, and a similarly aged woman in the aisle. The man stayed quiet for most of the flight, but the woman and I got to chatting. She had a son about my age who had recently dropped out of college and was moving back home. She was concerned about is future, and was asking me about my plans and interests. It turned out we shared many similar tastes and hobbies. All seemed like a normal congenial talk until about 90 min. into the IAD-SFO flight. Her right hand had found its way onto my left thigh. We had never bothered to put down the arm rest between us.

I twitched my leg and her hand quickly moved back to her lap. I chose to ignore her action, hoping it was a simple slip, and wanting to continue the nice company. We continued to talk, but about 15 minutes later her hand had now found its way higher up on my thigh, and she was gently rubbing up and down. At this point I had to put a end to it. I very firmly told her to stop, and I took her hand and removed it from my leg. The armrest went down, and I quickly retreated to my iPod and book. We departed the plane four+ hours later without another word being spoken. I still wonder what she was thinking (perhaps I know too well), but of all things that has crossed the line in passenger etiquette, this one has remained one of the most memorable. I suppose such an event could have taken place in any seat, but something about the confining nature of the middle seat made it all the more acute.

And so I added Ben’s story into this post, and just when I thought I was done, another passenger with a similar story shared her experience about being groped on the airplane, only this time it was a woman being groped by a man. Here’s what happened to Brenda…

It happened to me on a flight from Auckland, New Zealand to LAX! I was in the upper cabin of the 747, and sitting next to me was a man involved in the New Zealand government. The cabin had been darkened and almost everyone was sleeping. I was asleep and suddenly found his hand on my thigh, slowly moving – I was shocked! I looked over my seat towards the galley and the flight attendant saw me looking towards her and silently mouthing the words “Help me” She came right over and cleared her throat very loudly ( the dude was pretending to be asleep, but he really wasn’t) He didn’t even look embarrassed at being busted. Don’t get me wrong, I love kiwis, but not that much!

Obviously, with all this groping going on, I had to scrap the original groped post and completely start over. I mean who cares if Louise does not know how to behave on an airplane when there are several passengers behaving badly, very very badly, onboard the airplanes. Originally I had accused Jeremy of not reading the warning signs when Louise, his seatmate, proclaimed they’d be spending the night together, as she sat down beside him, and then proceeded to down not one, but two glasses of champagne. But then look what happened Ben and Brenda. There were no warning signs.

Sorry, Jeremy.

In the first post I had written something about Louise probably being, deep down inside, a really nice girl. That is when she’s not getting drunk on the airplane and throwing herself at strange men. And then I went on to question why the alarm in Jeremy’s head did not go off. I followed that question by posing another question, do men even have the internal alarm signal? That perv alert that so many of my women friends and I have, the one that tells you to move seats NOW? As in GO GO GO! But then I read what happened to Ben and Brenda. There were no perv alerts! Just pervs.

Again, sorry, Jeremy.

Poor Jeremy got poked, and prodded, and had a thigh squeezed, as well as a rib knocked, and eventually began to wonder if he should switch seats. (Gee I wonder?) This was the point in the story where I began to laugh out loud. Again, I’m sorry Jeremy, but I had to laugh! Not because of all that occurred, because it shouldn’t have occurred in the first place, but because it occurred before the plane even took off! Unfortunately Jeremy felt a little odd complaining about Louise to the flight attendants. I’ll let Jeremy explain…

Despite it being 2008, and the genders edging towards equality, it still somehow feels wrong if a man can’t put up with a bit of uninvited, sexually predacious behaviour without seeking help from a not overly butch flight attendant. Fortunately, after one more thwarted attempt to arouse my interest, Louise fell asleep.

Okay, Jeremy, let me give you, and others, a word of advice. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, no one should ever have to go through what you went through with Louise on that flight to New York. I know some of you will find this hard to believe, but the flight attendants are there for you. They are there to help you. Not judge you. And they want to help you, particularly when there’s a groper onboard. Trust me, we live for this kind of thing. No one, not a passenger, nor a flight attendant, should put up with being manhandled on a flight. Unless, of course, you like that kind of thing. Hey, you never know! I’ve seen some crazy things on the airplane.

If you find yourself on the airplane with an unwanted hand on your thigh….

1. Immediately excuse yourself from the situation. Just get up and go. You don’t have to say a word to the groper, no matter how nice they were before they started groping. If you’re the kind of person who needs an excuse, just say you’re going to the lavatory, or that your headset doesn’t work, or that you’re thirsty and you need to get a drink, and then get up and start walking.

2. Look for an open seat. Did you find one? Take it! What are you waiting for? Who cares if it’s a middle seat. Unless, of course, getting groped is better than sitting in that middle seat. I know, it’s a close one.

3. Tell a flight attendant. Tell the flight attendant what exactly is going on. Do not be afraid. This is an airplane, not a bar or a hotel, but a place where people and children travel together in a safe and not so comfortable environment. The flight attendant will gladly help you handle the situation, and make sure this situation does not happen again on a future flight.

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Photos courtesy of: (passenger) Davitydave, (empty seat) Simonk

Virgin America completes inaugural JFK – Vegas flight

by Grant Martin on

As we’ve been reporting on all week, Virgin America just kicked off service between JFK and Las Vegas with their inaugural flight. Christening an A320 aircraft “Entourage Air”, the cast of HBO’s Entourage showed up in a hangar at JFK to squirt Champagne all over an eager Adrian Grenier-googly-eyed audience, then quickly slipped off for other premier events all over the country.

On the way to the kickoff party at the Palms in Las Vegas, passengers were treated to some of the amenities that first class passengers can expect on Vegas bound flights later this fall: (very) plush “Entourage Air” blankets, Godiva chocolates, Altoid mints and Kiehls amenitiy kits with moisturizer, shampoo and lip balm. We also got to see a preview of season five’s opener, which should be airing this weekend – you can catch that and other episodes on their RED entertainment system from now on in flight.

Las Vegas airport was ready for us with a fire engine salute when we got there, and as we taxiied into our gate two giant plumes of water arced over the aircraft – I later learned that traffic at the airport has tapered off recently, no doubt because of decreased demand for vacation flights – so the tourism board is doing whatever they can to make Virgin happy.

In that light they threw an opening reception at the arrival gate, complete with showgirls, cake, more Champagne and a few fine words from local oil tycoons dignitaries.

It took a while to transfer and check into the Palms – apparently they didn’t realize that when an airplane full of people is going to check in that you need to staff your front desk – but near 9PM the party started to get rolling at the Playboy Club up on the top of the tower. We quickly found out that drinks were on “special” until nine thirty, so stocked up on Red Bulls & vodka since most of us were still on Eastern time.

I could tell you about all of the exciting things that went on at the Playboy club and then later on that night – shots, gossip and photos with the Virgin America crew, Michael Phelps apparently showing up at the bar and the wild, wild affection that some of our fellow bloggers share for each other – but you’re probably not interested in that.

The prevailing point is that New Yorkers now have a direct line into Vegas on Virgin America, Travel and Leisure’s “Best Domestic Carrier” and one of the most innovative airlines in the skies. If you have a tenth as much fun as Gadling did on your flight out to Sin City, it’ll be worth every dollar you spent.

See Antarctica by air on a 12-hour non-stop flight

by Abha Malpani on

I’ve heard of many cruisers offering trips to the Antarctic, but this is the first time I hear of a flight that takes you over the continent in 12 hours. The Boeing 747-400 covers five main spots on the continent’s east coast.

Organized by Croyden Travel, you can board one of these flights from Sydney or Melbourne, and cost between $999(economy)-$5699(first class). The plane doesn’t land, you don’t require your passport to travel, and you get to change seats once on the flight. Meals and drinks are provided too.

The next flight is new year’s eve 2008; if you take this flight you will be the first to see the Sun of 2009!

Although it sounds great and I’m sure the aerial view of the glaciers is mind-blowing, I’m not sure I’d want to pay that much for a trip where I’m couped up for 12 hours. I’d take a week long cruise instead.

10 tips for smarter flying


Galley Gossip: Naked on a plane – everything you ever wanted to know, and more…

by Heather Poole on

I can’t remember the precise destination we were working, but what I do remember was the shocked look on my coworkers face when he came running up to the first class galley and exclaimed, “There’s a naked woman in coach!”

“What!” two of us cried in unison.

Needless to say, the breakfast service was now on hold. How could we serve bagels when there was a nekkid lady aboard the flight? Into the oven the bread went, and off and running we went, ignoring any passengers who may have tried to wave us down as we headed straight to the the back of the airplane, a blur of four dressed in blue.

“There she is. The last row,” said one of my coworkers as we neared the last row.

“Oh my god,” I remember thinking, or saying, I can’t remember, it was just too crazy to remember. What I do remember is she was young, cute, and naked. College aged, I’d say.

Now this was pre 9/11, so the flight was empty, and the thought of terrorists were the furthest from our minds. The only thing on our minds, besides this naked lady, was why in the world the lady would get naked on the airplane in the first place? Unfortunately, we would never find out.

Quietly the young woman sat in her seat with the seat belt buckled across her…umm…naked…lap, and smiled. I think I may have smiled back, but in all honesty, I can’t remember. I mean we’re talking naked lady here!

The one not wearing clothes had decided to take it all off right after she exited the lavatory, which was right after the flight attendants in coach had pulled the beverage cart up to the front of the coach cabin. Totally naked, as in one hundred percent nude, she sat down in the last row, which was where she continued to sit, naked and alone, until the flight attendants rolled the cart back to her seat. I’m sure there was quite a loud gasp from the one placing a napkin on the tray table when he realized what it was that hid behind the table.

“Ma’am, you need to put your clothes back on!” demanded one of my coworkers.

We all stood there, hovering over the woman and nodding in agreement. Never in a thousand years would I have ever dreamed I’d be listening to a coworker ordering a passenger to get dressed. To help open an emergency exit, maybe. To put on a pair of panties, never.

Each of us tried to coax the woman back into her clothes, but she wasn’t having it, not when she had other things in mind, like returning to her original seat. Which normally would be fine. However climbing over the seats, three rows of them, naked, was not fine.

Now that wasn’t my only naked passenger experience. Thirteen years ago when I worked for Sunjet, a low cost carrier, an elderly woman decided to take off all of her clothes and then she decided to get off the “bus” by trying to open the emergency exit in flight. This, of course, scared the heck out of the passengers seated nearby, who watched in horror as she pulled on the door, a door that can not be opened, no matter how hard one tries, in flight.

Why all this talk about naked passengers? Iva Skoch’s post, Passenger strips nude, tries to open emergency exit, led me to start writing about my own personal experiences, which in turn led to a little research on flying nude, which has resulted in an awful lot of information about flying in the buff.

Obviously, the passengers mentioned above weren’t exactly…well…they just weren’t well! I mean normal people, at least the normal people I know, don’t take it all off on a flight. But for those of you who are…umm…well…and actually interested in stripping down at 35,000 feet, you can do so one of two ways. Apparently flying “the way god intended” is all the rage in Germany right now. But if you can’t get to Germany, you can hope and pray that Naked Air takes off again, like they did in 2003, and then you, too, can take it all off after take off.

WAIT….before you click the following link to visit the Naked Air Website, please be aware that there are nude photos on the site, very disturbing nude photos of naked people, naked people who should probably not be naked, based on the way they look naked – except for sneakers – on an airplane. Remember, you were warned. Now GO!

For those of you still with me, you may have a couple questions, like I did when I first realized this kind of thing was actually going on. (Someone please tell me why it is going on?) Below are a few questions and answers I pulled from the Naked Air website…

What about the flight crew and attendants…were they naked too? No… they can’t be. The pilots and the flight crew will remain dressed as they always do. We need to remember that the flight crew and attendants have a serious job to do… and that’s to get us to our destination safely.

Hot coffee on a nude flight? …Ouch! For that reason we did not offer hot beverages on the flight, but we did have appropriate snacks and beverage service for the time of day that we traveled.

Hey…everyone was naked…hmm…could they do whatever they want? The Naked-Air nude flight was exactly what it were advertised as… a chance to fly nude and make a little history in the process. The flight was a lot of fun to be sure… but any sexually suggestive behavior or advances to any other passengers would have been inappropriate for this flight, and absolutely forbidden. This rule was well known by all of our passengers in advance of booking would have been strictly enforced, if necessary… but it wasn’t. Nudists are nude… not lewd!

Did everyone have to get naked before they got on the plane? NO, because everybody knows that it’s way too cold in the terminal building. Seriously… the basic rules were that all passengers did the check-in, went to the gate, boarded the plane just like any other flight. It’s only after the plane took off and reached cruising altitude that the rules changed. Once cruising altitude was reached all the passengers were then free to get out of their clothing.

So what about hygiene and things like that? If you have ever been to a nudist or naturist resort or gathering, you would know that the one item that you are to have with you at all times, is a towel to sit on. This flight was no different. We provided special commemorative towels for that purpose, We required those towels (or our clients own towels) to be used at all times.

Still with me?

All I can say is thank god for those commemorative towels.

Latino heartthrob kicked off Delta flight

by Abha Malpani on

You’d think famous people can get away with a bit of attitude, not on a Delta flight though.

18-year old Latino music heart throb Carlos Olivero recently got kicked off a Delta flight in Atlanta for not stowing his iPod. He was asked to switch it off and stow it for take-off; he obediently turned the device off, but refused to stow it. Next thing you know, a security team was called on board and he was escorted off the plane with his mother.

A bit far fetched I know: what’s the big deal, he switched it off as told; not stowing it shouldn’t have been made an issue. But, that’s what you get for messing with flight attendants on Delta!

Part of Latin pop band Menudo, a group that both Ricky Martin and Marc Anthony used to be in, this little disobedience act with a Delta flight attendant may break or make his career. Will the girls love him for being a bad boy? Or will they demand a replacement?

See, your travel behavior can have life-changing consequences.