Galley Gossip: 3 reasons flight attendants won’t allow passengers to switch seats in flight

by Heather Poole on

Dear Heather,

What is the proper etiquette for switching to an open seat? Should I ask the flight attendant first? Is it okay to switch to another row if only one person is occupying the row?

Thanks,

Rich

Dear Rich,

Go for it! Switch seats. You don’t have to ask. But you might want to wait until everyone is on board before making your move. Worst case scenario a flight attendant might ask you to return to your original seat. Big deal, so what if you have to move back? Most of the time the open seat is yours for the taking – as long as it’s in the same cabin as your ticketed seat. Which brings me to the first class stowaway…

“Whenever I travel I always wear a nice suit and board last,” said the passenger seated beside me on a flight years ago. I don’t remember where we were going, but I wasn’t working so he had no idea what I did for a living. “As I’m passing through the first class cabin I’ll slide into an open seat. If the flight attendants say anything I’ll quietly offer fifty bucks.””And that works?” I asked, not sure what to make of the guy.

“Sometimes,” he laughed.

I told him what I did for a living. Then I added, “the money wouldn’t make a difference to me. I’d still send you back to coach.”

He looked perplexed. “Seriously? What if I gave you two-hundred dollars?”

I just smiled.

“Three hundred?”

Hey, I don’t blame the guy for trying. Just remember that if you do try to pull a fast one, we will find you, and we will send you back to where you belong.

Oh I know those first and business class seats are calling you. And yes, it is a shame when they go out unoccupied. But since flight attendants do not upgrade passengers once they’re on board a flight, don’t even bother asking. We’ll just tell you to speak to an agent. It’s the gate agent who has the upgrading power. This is because the agent is the one who has access to a computer in order to input frequent flier miles or credit card numbers that are needed to purchase a seat.

Every so often a passenger will actually score their own row. What that passenger may not realize is that they do not own the row. So if you would like to sit in an open seat beside one of these lucky passengers, be my guest. If the passenger complains or does not allow you to sit down, let the flight attendants know and we will inform the problem passenger that unless they purchased all three seats, the open seats are not theirs to keep.

Here are three reasons a flight attendant may ask you to return to your seat:

A PASSENGER PURCHASED TWO SEATS: While it doesn’t happen often, it does happen. I’ve seen it. Once. A single passenger boarded my flight carrying two boarding passes. Both of them were in his name. I didn’t even ask to see them, but he showed them to me anyway, in case any issues came up in flight. And he was a regular sized passenger.

A DISPLACED FAMILY IS ON BOARD: Flight attendants may need to use an open seat in order to move passengers around so that they can accommodate families who are not seated together. It’s not fair for singles, I know, but do you really want a kid screaming for his mother the entire flight?

BLOCKED SEATS: A seat can be blocked for all kinds of reasons. Missing seat belts and oxygen masks are two of the most common reasons. It doesn’t matter if the seat belt sign is off or how fast you think can run back to your seat in case of a decompression, the seat is blocked. Case closed. Go back to your seat!

Hope that helps, Rich. And here’s wishing you lots of open seats on your next flight!

Heather

UPDATE: Is has been brought to my attention by several flight attendants that not all airlines are created equal. Regional carriers dealing weight and balance issues do not allow customers to switch seats so freely. Also, flight attendants working for airlines with economy plus sections offering more room in coach, do recommend checking with a flight attendant first before moving to another seat, since certain sections are off limits to passengers in coach who did not purchase the extra space. And now with airlines charging for exit rows, bulkheads and aisle seats, switching to just any seat in your ticketed cabin may not be possible.

(Got a question? Email Skydoll123@yahoo.com )

Photo courtesy of Kathy Stewart and Waketheman

Be sure to check out Episode 5 of Travel Talk TV, which features a Santa Cruz beach adventure; explains why Scottish money is no good; shows how to cook brats the German way; and offers international dating tips!


Galley Gossip: Flight attendants force Lady Gaga to change clothes in flight

by Heather Poole on

It’s an FAA violation to interfere with the duties of a crew member. So please, for the love of Gaga, when a flight attendant asks you to get undressed, get undressed! And don’t argue about it.

Recently on an eight hour flight from London to New York, Lady Gaga’s legs began to swell due to the restrictive clothing she wore on board. According to The Sun, when she began developing early signs of deep vein thrombosis, the cabin crew asked Lady Gaga to change out of her clothes – black and yellow tape – as well as a pair of blue platform shoes. Apparently LG was miffed about ditching the heels designed by an old pal, the late Alexander McQueen, which she wore in honor of him.

Am I surprised by any of this? Not at all. Crazy Gaga has been quoted saying she would rather die than have her fans not see her in a pair of high heels. Well the woman almost got her wish. Obviously Miss G does not realize just how serious DVT is, especially when wearing uncomfortable duct tape with snug platform shoes on a long haul flight!

I’ll admit it, I’m a pretty big fan of the recording artist, so I’m quite familiar with her theatrical taste in fashion. And the thought of Lady G actually donning a pair of synthetic, airline, knee-socks is just not right. But research has shown that wearing flight socks can reduce the risk of developing DVT by 90%. Don’t gag, Gaga. If anyone can make an ugly pair of compression socks look sexy at 30,000 feet it’s you!The most interesting thing about Lady Gaga’s outfit is the fact that she needed help removing it. Of course the first thing I thought when I read this was, how in the world did the crew decide who would help her undress? Did they draw straws or did they go by seniority? Because I can totally see a crew bickering over whose turn it is to spin Lady Gaga around in the first class galley in order to unwind the yellow and black tape, which I’m sure looked stunning. For an outfit made of tape.

Speaking of strange outfits in flight, flight attendants should not wear pink. EVER. Nor should they wear little weird hats on the side of their heads. At least not to work. Although something tells me Lady Gaga might disagree.

Now flight attendants are on board primarily for the safety of passengers. This includes handling what could possibly turn into a serious health concern in flight. I hope Lady Gaga realizes this and doesn’t resent the cabin crew for looking after her. Certainly she must know that flight attendants are trained to deal with these kinds of situations, that we’re professionals who take pride in our job, and that we’ll do whatever we have to do for the comfort and safety of everyone on board. It’s just…who would have thought this would one day come to include removing duct tape and designer shoes from a celebrity passenger!


Photos courtesy of BayerNYC and Alicetiara

Six disastrous consequences of fighting flight attendants

by Tom Johansmeyer on

The Association of Flight Attendants has been leaning on Congress to amp up counter-terrorism measures in the cabin. After all, the security teams in the airports haven’t exactly impressed over the past few years. So, what happens to the passengers and crew when some scumbag finds a way to tote a gun, knife or oversized bottle of shampoo on board? The flight attendants’ union believes it has the answer: hand-to-hand combat. Whether it’s a killer choke hold or a beverage cart to the ‘nads, they’re ready to take charge.

Well, the Association of Flight Attendants, which represents more than 55,000 employees at 20 airlines, actually has a four-point plan to increase cabin safety, but most of it is pretty boring. The group proposes communications devices to help them speak directly to the pilots when an emergency breaks out, standardized carry-on luggage size (to make it easier to spot the suspicious people with oversized bags) and the terminating of in-flight wifi during periods of peak terror risk.

And, the grappling, kicking and boxing.

Someday, this will probably be remembered as one of those “What the hell were they thinking?” moments – if it’s remembered at all. But, for now, it’s something that the flight attendants’ group has plopped on the table, and it strikes me as unlikely to make a difference. Why?

Here are six reasons to get you started:1. It hasn’t made a difference so far
According to Corey Caldwell, a spokeswoman for the association, combat training is currently optional for flight attendants, and those who pursue it have to do so on their own time. If this train is so important, I’d think that making it mandatory would be unnecessary, as such skills would already be common. If I thought there were a substantial threat to my safety every day at work, I’d commit to staying safe. Also, I haven’t seen any reports lately of a flight attendant, trained in the ways of the warrior, rescuing passengers from evil clutches. I applaud those who pursue it on their own but don’t see a whole lot of reasons for passengers (or taxpayers) to pick up the tab on this one.

2. It isn’t as simple as it sounds
Basic hand-to-hand combat may not equip a flight attendant to take on a wizened warrior who’s spent time in a terrorist training camp or battled the Soviets for a decade. It may work; it may not. But, this is hardly a silver bullet. Further, an overzealous flight attendant combatant could make a bad situation worse (e.g., a hostage situation that is not destined to end in a mix of suicide and homicide). If I have a chance of getting out alive, I’m not sure I’d welcome some sort of flying drop kick from the FA.

3. Why not go straight to guns?
If the point is to neutralize or eliminate a threat, why screw around with fisticuffs? Let’s bring some heat to bear on the situation. Flight attendants could board strapped and ready to rumble. If this sounds absurd, it’s a matter of degree. Mandatory and-to-hand combat training entails equipping flight attendants to use force to solve a problem. Any weapon, from fists to firearms, brings with it a certain set of risks (e.g., being overpowered, misuse of training). So, if we don’t trust flight attendants to don shoulder holsters, we should probably think about other forms of violence, however justified.

4. Terrorists have been stopped without this training
We saw this only a few months ago, with the Christmas bomber’s unsuccessful attempt. Also, the “shoe bomber” didn’t get far. Both incidents do raise the issue of whether better screening, observation and identification measures are needed on board (ummm, yeah), but these are the scenarios in which fists would fly, and ninja flight attendants weren’t necessary.

5. There’s a role for judgment
This one worries the hell out of me. Thinking back to the orange juice debacle on American Airlines, I’m not sure I’d issue rules of engagement that involve ass-kicking. What ultimately led to an FAA warning for the passenger (and PR disaster for American) could have been a bloody mess. Well, that’s assuming the other FAs didn’t come to the passenger’s aid, triggering a fight to the death in the first class cabin. “Hold my Blackberry and pass me the nunchucks.”

6. Who makes the call?
Violence for the sake of safety, I believe, is best left to trained killer. I choose that expression carefully, referring to people who know how to apply force and in what amounts to remove a threat. Military personnel, police officers, Blackwater consultants – these folks don’t just learn how to execute a hold or squeeze the trigger. They learn about situations and conditions in which it’s appropriate. As early as basic training (now a long time ago for me), I remember having rules of engagement drilled into me. Ultimately, a lot of people would have had to make a lot of decisions in order for me to send a round down range. On a plane, would it be any flight attendant’s decision? The most senior? Or, would it have to come from the cockpit? If we can’t trust a soldier to inflict violence without a hefty amount of forethought, I’m not crazy about an FA having that sort of power.

What’s truly disconcerting about the scheme is a remark by Caldwell: “We are not taking on more responsibility.” Really? She continues, “We just want more tools to make the plane safer,” but it seems like that isn’t possible without taking on – you guessed it – more responsibility. If you’re going to clock a passenger in the jaw, you need to be ready to own the decision. If it’s truly justified, there’s nothing to worry about.

Japanese sex clubs: Where flight attendant uniforms mean service

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Where is a flight attendant uniform synonymous with high-touch service? Well, you may encounter JAL duds in a Japanese sex club. Your hostess may not keep it on long, but you’ll be happy to know that your safety is her first priority, whether you’re dressed or not. When JAL fell into bankruptcy, the risk that flight attendant uniforms would fall into the wrong hands skyrocketed.

It seems that people will pay big bucks to get serviced by a “flight attendant,” as long as it doesn’t happen on a plane. Thus, the uniforms can fetch thousands of dollars, a sale made easier by employees falling victim to mass layoffs. Flight attendant uniforms popping up on the Yahoo! Japan auction site were on the block for more than $3,000.

Of course, there’s more to this problem than the illusion of freaky FAs filling fetish fantasies for sex club patrons. The airline also says that there’s a security risk, as uniforms can make it easier to access restricted areas in airports. JAL also suggests that here’s brand risk, with an airline spokeswoman indicating, “We also do not want people misrepresenting the company or damaging our image in any way.”

I guess the impact on the airline’s image depends on the talent wearing the uniform …

Virgin America’s Fly Girls premiere party: insider access

by Grant Martin on

The launch date of CW network’s reality television show Fly Girls is drawing near, the inside story of five, sexy Virgin America flight attendants working, traveling and crashing through the crazy jet set life together.

While the official series premiere date is March 24, Virgin America gave a few lucky folks an inside preview of the series on a secret flight between Los Angeles and Las Vegas last week. The chaps at Gadling were lucky enough to score a few tickets for the ride.

Things kicked off in Los Angeles at terminal 4 of LAX on Friday the 26th, wayward passengers filtering in from all corners of the continent to participate in the festivities. Our good friend Johnny Jet met us at the gate, and before long the lovely ladies from Fly Girls as well as David Cush, CEO of Virgin America appeared from the jet bridge and welcomed the salivating passengers aboard.


The brief flight from Los Angeles to Las Vegas was only 50 minutes long, but Virgin America and CW were able to pack in plenty of activity, from the Fly Girls themselves handing out specially crafted Veev cocktails to celebratory announcements to the climax of the flight: an exclusive preview of the pilot episode.

Cheers erupted as the show came to a close and the aircraft landed at McCarran airport, and as the crowd snaked towards the Palazzo and Emeril’s Stadium, there was a steady buzz of excitement and festivity growing.

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The Fly Girls would reemerge on the red carpet in front of the Palazzo Las Vegas, posing with countless celebrities and answering questions about the show, just before heading into Lagasses Stadium for an on-stage kickoff and all night dance party. For more details on that you can check out this week’s Travel Talk.

It was a fantastic way to begin what’s sure to be an interesting and revealing look into the lives of Virgin America flight attendants in the Fly Girls series. Be sure to tune in on March 24th to see the premiere.