Galley Gossip: Boeing Boeing grounded

by Heather Poole on

January 4, 2009 was a very sad day on Broadway in New York City. While it is said that all good things must come to an end, does that really have to include the critically acclaimed Broadway show, Boeing Boeing? I mean this was one trip I didn’t want to end. Ever! But when the doors finally closed and the lights went to black, I was there (along with a full house) to say Buh-bye to an era of glamour and excitement so many people love to recall.

In the comedy, which is based on the movie of the same name (staring Tony Curtis and Jerry Lewis), an American architect living in Paris is juggling three flight attendants – I mean air hostesses – all of whom are his fiancee. How can one man juggle three different women? Easy. You make sure each woman is a stewardess from a different airline – Lufthansa, Alitalia, and TWA. Then you consult a timetable as if it were a bible, marking down each woman’s scheduled layover. Of course to make it run smoothly you must employ an overworked and disgruntled housekeeper who acts more like an air traffic controller. But when an old school chum comes into town things are turned upside down. As most of you know, schedules change and flights get delayed, resulting in turbulent chaos. That’s where the fun began.

While the simple set never changed, the talented cast took the audience on a fun filled ride. In fact, it was so much fun that I was barely conscious of the guy rustling a paper bag full of who knows what in my ear, or that my knees were practically under my chin, and that I could barely move my feet because the seating was so tight – much like a cramped middle seat in coach. Not to mention I purchased the cheap tickets that put me near the ceiling of the intimate, but ornate, Longacre theater, a beautiful theater that was built in 1913.

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The talented cast gave an excellent performance. I wonder if they could imagine the impact they had on the audience that night, the night they took their very last bow. As I looked around at all the people standing and clapping enthusiastically, I couldn’t help but wonder how many actually had a connection to a particular airline. Or were they aviation enthusiasts? Or were they just there to see a good show? Probably all of the above. And like that the show was over, the lights went to bright, and we all slowly filed out of the building, Playbill in hand, and onto the cold dark streets of New York.

“Boeing Boeing is done? Over? NOOOO! ” wrote our own Gadling writer, and pilot, Kent Wien when I mentioned I had seen the very last show. “I didn’t get a chance to see it! Is it going to pop up anywhere else?”

Pop up again, it will. Boeing Boeing will be back, touring in the fall of 2009.

Gadling Take FIVE: Week of Dec. 27–Jan. 2

by Jamie Rhein on

First off, Happy 2009!

As we marked the passage of time, Heather graced us with a look at the New Year from her angle in the sky. I loved looking through the gallery of her last trip of 2008, particularly her details about the passenger who made origami birds for her to pass out to kids. Sweet.

Here are five more posts that offer a mixed bag from humorous to helpful to downright deep.

  • Anything free gives me a sense of well-being. Alison pointed out that on January 10, Winter Trails Day, there are several opportunities to snowshoe or cross-country ski for free.
  • Planning ahead can give the feeling of having some semblance of control. To help you out with that, Scott offers 10 travel resolutions geared for getting your 2009 travel on the right track.
  • Kraig offered a story about how an iPod saved a skier and a snowboarder from freezing to death in the Swiss Alps which, as he stated, is as good a commercial as any for getting one.
  • If SkyMall Monday doesn’t warm your heart with a belly laugh or two, I don’t know what will. Reading Mike’s top 10 list of SkyMall Mondays is a great way to pass some time. I still like the Flair Hair Visor the best.
  • Cemeteries might not seem cheery to some, but I love them. As my husband said the other day as we were driving by a small, intriguing cemetery in northern Ohio, they are filled with stories. The stories remind us that time is fleeting so don’t waste it. Jeffery’s look at New York City’s famous cemeteries presents a glimpse into the past and how New York preserves the resting places of those who came before us. If there’s any indication that life has value, here is proof.

Galley Gossip: Where did the service go?

by Heather Poole on

Recently I read an interesting article in the New York Times, Up, Up, and Go Away, about an ex flight attendant who worked for TWA in the 1970’s when flight attendants were known as stewardesses and stewardesses were as glamorous as movie stars and passengers were treated like royalty and flying was..well…just better – in every way possible! The stewardess featured in the article above wrote about a recent flight she took from Miami to Charlotte and the lack of customer service onboard the airplane, on the ground, as well as the downfall of flying in general.

She wrote…

I have experienced the decline of service along with the rest of the flying public. But I believe I have felt it more acutely because I remember the days when to fly was to soar. The airlines, and their employees, took pride in how their passengers were treated. A friend who flew for Pan Am and I have a friendly rivalry over which airline was better. Friendly, yes. But we each believe we worked for the best.

Well that’s funny because I think I work for the best airline, and that’s an airline that’s still in business. And for the record, I, too, take pride in my job, as well as the way I treat my passengers, and this is during a time when passengers bash airlines for sport. Hey, times have changed. Flight attendants have changed. Passengers have changed. Technology has changed. Every single thing has changed. Has it not?

She wrote…

Airlines offer valid excuses for cutting back service. But what are they gaining when passengers leave a flight disgruntled, mistreated and hungry? It is surprising how easy it is to please passengers. Cereal and lots of coffee in the morning can do wonders for someone who had to leave home at 4 a.m. Pretzels and peanuts handed out with drinks make a difference in an era of flight cancellations and long security lines.

Much like most memories, one tends to romanticize the past. I, too, worked when flight attendants handed out wings, playing cards and magazines, back when we had all the pillows and blankets a passenger could desire. I also served cereal as well as pretzels and three dinner choices – in coach – and trust me when I tell you just as many passengers complained about the service then as they do now.

“This is nothing but garbage!” one passenger shouted at me when I placed the penne pasta on the tray table in front of her. This happened in coach over ten years ago.

“Is this all you have?” is another response I heard often back in the day.

I also remember that airfares were three times what they are today, which enabled an airline to offer you three choices of garbage…I mean food…as well as amenities in coach. Sure ticket prices have gone up, but by comparison they’re cheaper than they were ten years ago. In 1995 I bought a ticket from New York to Dallas for $800. Last month I bought the same ticket for $350 – and that was for a flight during the holiday rush, which is the second busiest time of the year to travel!

She wrote…

What works best of all, of course, is a smile. I trained for six weeks to become a flight attendant. Although the main focus was safety, I spent almost as much time learning good service. Airline employees’ frustration and exasperation are all too evident to their passengers.

Yet as I stand at the door and greet my passengers with a smile on my face and a friendly “Hello, how are you?” half the time my greeting is either met with a sour face and goes unanswered or I’m told exactly how they are, which is never good. After four of five snide remarks I eventually stop asking how people are, I’m too afraid! Keep in mind, it’s not easy for me, either, but I still try to smile, even though I’ve been working just under the FAA legal limit. My layover is not the same layover experienced thirty years ago by stewardesses in the past who had 48 hours of free time before having to work one trip home. Based on my schedule of the last six years, I average 8 hours between the time I say “Buh-bye” and the time I say “Welcome aboard” and push back from the gate again.

She wrote…

Once, stuck on a tarmac in Newark for four hours, a planeload of passengers got McDonald’s hamburgers and fries courtesy of the airline.

Not only do passengers have to bring their own McDonald’s food onboard these days, I have to make sure that the passenger who keeps getting up and down and going into the lav with a cell phone in one hand and a crumpled McDonald’s bag in the other isn’t up to any funny business. While I, too, trained for seven weeks to become a flight attendant, learning good customer service skills, I was also sent back to training in 2001 to learn what to do in case of a terrorist hijacking. That’s why I might not be smiling as I serve drinks down the aisle in coach. I’ve got my eye on that passenger whose been acting a little strangely. A stewardess never had to carry hand cuffs, etc, in their tote bags, but a flight attendant does.

The decline in service is a direct result of ticket prices today, which is why our flights are always full, staffed with minimum crew, and why people who couldn’t afford to fly thirty years ago are flying today? And that, I think, is a good thing, in a way. The airlines are giving passengers what they truly want – affordable prices. Not embossed napkins. People are no longer willing to pay for service, and the airlines can’t afford to give it away for free, not anymore, not in this day and age. Which is why all you get on a flight is a cramped seat, a can of soda, and a paper napkin – in coach – while getting from point A to point B as safely as possible and for as cheaply as possible. If better service is desired, you have the option to pay for it by purchasing a ticket in one of the premium cabins. It’s up to you.

When I first started flying fourteen years ago, passengers in the premium cabins enjoyed the fine dining experience we provided, which is still pretty much the same service we provide in 2008. Only now, unlike then, the seats in first class and business class are always full. There are more top tiered frequent fliers battling it out for those oh so precious upgrades than ever before. A premium class passenger spends about $6,000 to fly from coast to coast, which in todays weak economy is hard for an executive to justify in an expense report to management, which explains why luxury airlines like EOS and MaxJet went out of business in less than one year.

And with all the electronic devices brought onboard today, passengers in our premium cabins don’t really want the long drawn out service of yesterday, no matter what they say, because when they want to eat, they want it now, and they want it fast, and when they’re done, they’re done!

“Take it away!” I often hear, and before the meal tray is even lifted from the table the computer is out and the fingers are typing.

What bothers me the most about these types of articles, and there are many, is the way in which people still want to compare flying back then to now. Can you really compare the two? No other industry in the United States is criticized as harshly, with such backwards thinking, as the aviation industry. When you talk about those glorious days when all the stewardesses were young and beautiful and wore hot pants and mini skirts and smiled as they lit your cigarette in the piano lounge onboard the 747 to Paris, keep in mind that flight attendants weren’t allowed to get married or have children and were subjected to periodical weigh-ins before their trips. Sounds good you say? Well don’t forget that with all the glamour came a lot of empty seats. Back then only the privileged could fly. So just remember that the next time you purchase a ticket and want to reminisce about the good old days.

Photos courtesy of (vintage black and white) Carbonated, (Passengers) Heather Poole, (Computer) Heather Poole

Galley Gossip: Merry Christmas! (from 35,000 feet)

by Heather Poole on

So what does a flight attendant do when the flights are packed, the weather is bad, and she has to work on Christmas Day? She plans a quick excursion into New York City to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center! There’s nothing like the beauty of the lights and the sights and sounds, combined with the world famous Rockette’s Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall to get into the spirit of the holiday season. Wishing everyone peace, health, and happiness for the holiday season and the coming new year.

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Galley Gossip: Gifts for the flight attendant (and frequent flier)

by Heather Poole on

Here it is, what you’ve been waiting for, my 2008 list of holiday gifts for that special flight attendant (or frequent flier) in your life…

1. STARBUCKS GIFT CARD – Because there’s a Starbucks in every city – and every airport. Most travelers I know can’t start the day without a good cup of coffee. Note I said good. The coffee on the airplane is not good, and you know it, so don’t act surprised when I pour you a cup. It doesn’t matter which airline you fly or whether the flight attendant double bagged it or not (double bagging is the act of leaving an extra coffee packet in the bottom of the pot), it’s just not good and that’s not the way to start your day. Last year my mother bought me a $100 gift card and I’m still using it, and I’m always glad to have it on those early morning and late night departures.

2. HAND LOTION – Do you find yourself washing those hands with soap and water in the airplane lavatory quite often? That explains why your beautiful hands have aged 20 years in the last few hours. Moisturization is key at 35,000 feet. I don’t know a flight attendant who doesn’t carry a fruity smelling antibacterial hand lotion. Me, I prefer anything with Shea butter.

3. BUBBLE BATH – When you spend your days cramped inside a germ infested flying petri dish, and your nights showering in nasty ankle deep water at your hotel, there’s nothing better than a nice hot bubble bath at home to wash it all away. My bubble bath of choice is Milk Bath, by Fresh. Add the matching soap and lotion, as well as a candle, and you’ve got yourself one happy flight attendant. Remember, when your flight attendant is happy you’re happy.

4. AIRLINE CRAP – Most of the travelers I know have some sort of airline collection hidden somewhere. I’ve written about my own personal airline museum, so you already know about the bottle of wine that makes a perfect flight attendant gift. But anything airline related will do this holiday season. I’ve got my eye on a cute bag tag from Ann Taintor, as well as a bag handle wrap in red that reads NOT YOURS, designed by binhog.com. I’ll just add the tag and the wrap to the REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT thingie that my husband brought home from a motorcycle convention last weekend, a thingie that has already been attached to my bag.

5. SOMETHING TO READ –You know you’re going to need a distraction during flight, especially if you get stuck seated next to a crying baby, or even worse, an adult baby who wants to cry about everything that’s wrong with your flight. Or what if your flight is delayed due to a mechanical or bad weather this holiday season? It happens. It’s that time of year! So please come prepared for the worst. That means you need to bring books and magazines, and a lot of them, and when the flight is over please don’t forget to leave behind the good ones in the seatback pocket in front of you. The Old Patagonian Express, by Paul Theroux is an old favorite of mine. It’s about traveling by train, not plane, which is something you might want consider next time you travel. One of the items on my book wish list is a set of books, the Louis Vuitton City Guides, which is the perfect gift for the traveler who has it all.

6. MASSAGE – A must for the one who spends too much time cramped inside confined spaces. Whenever the husband returns from an International flight, I always book a massage for him as soon as possible. There’s nothing worse than a cranky traveler bringing all that crankiness home with him. As for me, I actually own a Homedics foot massager. It works great. I love it so much the husband finds it disturbing.

7. IPOD – Though The Shuffle is nice, the one that can play movies is even nicer. Leave that DVD player at home and forget about lugging that ginormous laptop. Don’t you know less is more, especially when you have to cram everything into that one carry-on bag, the bag that now weighs 50 pounds, the bag you’ll be dragging from city to city.

8. LAPTOP NOTEBOOK- Now that we have internet onboard some of our flights, a laptop will make the hours pass faster. Oh I know you already have a laptop, that ginormous one I mentioned above, but what you need is one of those new teeny tiny machines like the Acer notebook. I just bought one for $350 at Walmart. It makes the perfect gift for those who want to keep in touch with loved ones while on the road. Plus being able to do those trip trades on a layover without having to take the crew van back to the airport an hour earlier doesn’t hurt. I mean what flight attendant can’t use an extra hour of sleep in the morning?

9. NICE WATCH – Flight attendants have to wear a watch because people are constantly asking, “How much longer?” And because some of you may actually have a heart attack onboard, we need to time how long we’ve been doing those chest compressions. (Please don’t make us do the chest compressions!) One of my favorite watches is the IWC pilot’s watch. Yes, I do own one, even though I’m a flight attendant, not a pilot. While it may be a little big and look ridiculous wrapped around my wrist (and goes off at security), I love it and that’s why I wear it. Need to know the time, ask me!

10. A HOME COOKED MEAL – Because let’s face it, when you spend your days and nights on airplanes and in hotels, there’s nothing better than the comforts of home.