SkyMall Monday: Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker

by Mike Barish on

Fact: Americans love tube steak. Fact: I am wildly amused by the term “tube steak.” Fact: You’re reading SkyMall Monday. This week we solve the age-old problem that has flummoxed chefs, cooks and food preparers for, well, ages: How do I cook a hot dog? It’s a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma on a toasted bun. Thankfully, our favorite catalog has, once again, come to the rescue. Because now we can finally relax our gag relflexes and enjoy all the tube steaks that we can handle. Now we have the Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker.

I know what you’re thinking. “But Mike, I can think of several ways to cook a hot dog. Why do I need a device that only serves one purpose and isn’t the least bit necessary or convenient?” Well, sure, I could “think” of ways to do things until I’m blue in the face. But you can’t think a hot dog into my stomach. And as for being convenient, well, that sounds like a made up word. However, I’ll indulge your fantasies and consider these other alleged ways that you could cook a hot dog.

Microwave: Yeah, it’s fast. But if you mistakenly leave your hot dog in there for 20 minutes it will explode. That’s a risk that I’m just not willing to take.
Grill: Nothing says summer like a hot dog with some gorgeous grill marks. But what happens when I want a hot dog in the winter? You expect me to put a jacket on and grill outside? That’s ludicrous.
Boil: Sure, you could boil a hot dog on your stove top. But have you ever drank the leftover hot dog water? It’s terrible! And pouring the used water down the drain just seems so wasteful.
Oven: This seems convenient, but you’re going to need an oven mitt. That’s how they upsell you. Who’s “they?” Shhh, they’re probably listening to us right now.
Campfire: My landlord frowns upon me using this method.

As always, I defer to the sage masters who provide us with the product description:

Operating much like a pop-up toaster, this unique kitchen appliance lets you easily prepare two hot dogs (complete with toasted buns) in minutes. Its 660-watt electronic heating coil has time settings for heating hot dogs and buns to your taste preference. Crumb basket removes for cleaning.

All of the other cooking methods that I listed above allow you to cook a seemingly unlimited number of hot dogs at one time. The Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker can only handle two hots dogs and buns, so now you don’t have to worry about portion control. It’s taken care of for you. Plus, you’re middle child will finally get the hint that you don’t like him when he sees that there’s just no hot dog for him to eat.

See, as usual, I’m right. You need the Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker. You need to stop using logic and reason. You need to pass the relish.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Hotel Hellsten a must in Stockholm

by Tom Johansmeyer on

You expect a certain sleekness when you step into a Scandinavian hotel. The region is known for its nascent design talent, and a pedestrian property would detract from your experience. To get the full flavor of Stockholm, park yourself at the Hotel Hellsten. Comfort and style come together easily in these boutique digs. You’ll close your eyes in the warmth of a soft bed and open them to slick internal scenery.

The hardwood floors are nothing short of charming, and the bathroom is more spacious than what you find elsewhere in Europe. Stretch out in the bathtub (unless you’re taller than I am … in which case you don’t deserve to be enveloped in liquid heat), and forget about home, work and the stack of bills on the kitchen table. This is your time, not theirs.

Most views look out to the street or inward to the small courtyard. My situation was a bit unfortunate, however, as my window opened to the breakfast room. If you occupy my former spot, don’t forget to close the curtains. It’s awkward for everyone, otherwise.

If you stay at the Hotel Hellsten, you’ll find yourself right around the corner from Sweden‘s most amazing hot dogs. The stand serves grilled dogs in a pita with mashed potatoes, onions, lettuce, mustard and ketchup. It sounds unusual (and is), but try it anyway. Then, get a plain hot dog with only mustard, because these dogs can stand on their own. The mustard tastes like that in Iceland, with a hint of the cheese flavor from Oscar Mayer cheesedogs. There’s nothing like it — except in Iceland or at your local supermarket.

[Photo thanks to Hotel Hellsten]