DMZ peace park a hopeful Korean destination for children

by Tom Johansmeyer on

In my career as a writer – and before that as a management consultant – I saw some pretty strange proposals. But, nothing that crossed my desk compared to what Jonathan Lee has put together. The 13-year-old was born in South Korea and lives in the United States, and he’s going on a most unusual journey. The enterprising teenager was scheduled to fly Thursday night to Pyongyang to pitch an idea to Kim Jong-il … yes, that Kim Jong-il. The one who rules the reclusive North Korea with no tolerance for dissent.

Lee hopes to secure support for his idea to create a children’s peace forest in the heavily mined Demilitarized Zone. He expects to meet with officials in North Korea, to whom he will proffer his idea, which will include “fruit and chestnut trees … and where children can plan,” according to the Huffington Post. Most likely, armed guards will continue to stand on either side of the Zone with weapons ready to be used if necessary.

The DMZ is not a peaceful place, of course. Though the Korean War’s fighting stopped in 1953, peace was never formally attained, and a cease-fire has been in place for close to six decades. The United States doesn’t have diplomatic ties to North Korea, and any interaction between the two governments usually takes place through the Swedish embassy in Pyongyang.

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Lee says he knows the visit is supposed to be safe, but he’s a bit nervous, given that North Korea is still a communist country. His mother, Melissa, adds, “”We know, it sounds crazy.” She continues, “When he first said, ‘I think we need to go to North Korea,’ I looked at my husband and said, ‘What?’ It was a radical idea.”

Lee has already worked on laying the groundwork south of the DMZ:

Reports by South Korea’s Yonhap news agency say Jonathan met former South Korean President Kim Dae-jung three years ago and suggested planting chestnut trees on the Korean peninsula and that he went to see the then-ailing former president again last year.

In a letter Jonathan hopes to give to Kim Jong Il, he wrote that Kim Dae-jung talked with him about his “sunshine policy” of peaceful coexistence with the North.

So, if l works out, there will be a new destination for the family – in neither country! Doubtless, the likelihood of Lee’s dream being realized is pretty low, but let’s give him credit for a valiant effort that is leading to some wild places.

[Via Foreign Policy, photo by UNC – CFC – USFK via Flickr]

Everybody loves Arirang according to North Korean news agency

by Tom Johansmeyer on

It’s Arirang time! The North Korean group gymnastics festival is under way, and the crowds are predictably adoring. According to the Korea Central News Agency, the twenty-fifth batch of campers of the Songdowon International Children’s Camp “appreciated the grand gymnastic and artistic performance.” But, that shouldn’t come as a surprise because it was in KCNA.

Shockingly, the KCNA continued:

Zhaoli, head of the group of Chinese campers, said that the performance is the acme and the Korean people are demonstrating before the whole world their dignity under the wise leadership of General Secretary Kim Jong Il.

Russian campers were happy, too. Nataliya Andreyevskaya, who headed up the sixth group, “keenly felt through the performance that each country and nation can become glorious and powerful only when they have a great leader.”

And since no KCNA report is complete without this … “[Nataliya Tatarina of the first group of Russians] stressed that no force on earth can match the strength of the Korean people closely united around Kim Jong Il, the sun of the 21st century.”


[photo by yeowatzup via Flickr]

World Cup hangover: North Korea team grilled

by Tom Johansmeyer on


The North Korean World Cup soccer team never had a chance in South Africa, but that didn’t make the trip home any easier. At the beginning of July, they faced a “grand debate” because they let down the regime in the “ideological struggle” to put the ball into the net a lot during the tournament. More than 400 government officials, students and journalists watched the spectacle, though I have this sneaking suspicion that none really enjoyed it.

Responsibility for the loss fell to the coach, and the team members were allegedly compelled to point their blame in his direction. He was punished for having betrayed Kim Jong-sun, Kim Jong-il‘s son and rumoured next top dog of North Korea. The coach was fired and reportedly made to become a builder – he was also tossed from the Workers’ Party of Korea.

Apparently, just getting to the World Cup for the first time since 1966 wasn’t good enough, and I’m guessing that the next coach will take note of this.

It could have been a lot worse, though. Past coaches who didn’t measure up were sent to prison camps, according to South Korean intelligence sources.

Meanwhile, travel plans made the difference for two of the team’s players. Jong Tae-se and An Yong-hak, both born in Japan, were able to avoid the humiliating public display by dashing off directly to Japan following the World Cup tournament. If they had middle seats the whole way, I’m sure they weren’t complaining.

A priest, a rabbi, and… Kim Jong-il?

by Aaron Hotfelder on

If you’re like me, you probably don’t associate North Korea with comedy. But after reading the jokes below, told by North Korean defectors to Radio Free Asia, well… you still won’t. The jokes, most of which lampoon Kim Jong-il and the North Korean police state, bring to mind a North Korean Yakov Smirnoff.

Here are a few of the North Korean knee-slappers (more here):

Chang Man Yong works on a collective farm in North Korea. He goes fishing, gets lucky, and brings a fish home. Happy about his catch, he tells his wife: “Look what I’ve got. Shall we eat fried fish today?”



The wife says: “We’ve got no cooking oil!”



“Shall we stew it, then?”



“We’ve got no pot!”



“Shall we grill it?”



“We’ve got no firewood!”



Chang Man Yong gets angry, goes back to the river, and throws the fish back into the water.

The fish, happy to have had such a narrow escape, sticks its head out of the water and cheerfully yells: “Long live General Kim Jong-il!”

Ba-dum ching!

Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow.

During a break, they’re bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal.



Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: “Ivan, jump!”



Sobbing, Ivan says: “Mr. President, how can you ask me to do that? I have a wife and child waiting for me at home”



Putin sheds a tear himself, apologises to Ivan, and sends him away.



Next, it’s Kim Jong Il’s turn. He calls his bodyguard Lee Myung Man and yells: “Lee Myung Man, jump!”



Not hesitating for a split second, Lee Myung Man is just about to jump out the window.

Putin grabs Lee Myung Man to prevent him from jumping and says: “Are you out of your mind? If you jump out this window, you’ll die! This is the 20th floor!”

Nevertheless, Lee Myung Man is still struggling, trying to escape Putin’s embrace and jump out the window: “Mr. Putin, please let me go! I have a wife and child at home!”

Alright, I’ll admit that wasn’t bad. And finally…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean are having a chat. The Englishman says: “I feel happiest when I’m at home, my wool pants on, sitting in front of the fireplace.”



The Frenchman, a ladies’ man, says: “You English people are so conventional. I feel happiest when I go to a Mediterranean beach with a beautiful blonde-haired woman, and we do what we’ve got to do on the way back.”



The North Korean man says: “In the middle of the night, the secret police knock on the door, shouting: Kang Sung-Mee, you’re under arrest! And I say, Kang Sung-Mee doesn’t live here, but right next door! That’s when we’re happiest!”

Ha! I just love secret police jokes!

Kim Jong-Il Celebration: Party Like It’s Juche 99

by Tom Johansmeyer on

It was the biggest party of the year – and will probably retain that distinction until the end. Everybody was there, including foreign officials far too cool to be named. Dancers, singers and synchronized swimmers performed … all in honor of the Dear Leader’s sixty-eighth birthday. According to Pyongyang’s state-run media, Kim was “praised by mankind as the most outstanding political elder and the peerlessly brilliant commander of the present era.”

Across the border, however, the partying was supplanted with speculation, particularly given rumors of Kim’s 2008 stroke. According to the LA Times, his psychological state is said to be in question. A South Korean journal article puts the end of his life no more than five years into the future. In fact, the report says, “Kim Jong Il is known to have shed some tears when bodyguards were with him, unlike in the past.”

This didn’t stop the dear leader from getting down, though, at a party held on a day to considered to be one of North Korea’s top holidays. The synchronized swimmers “depicted beautiful frost flowers carrying boundless reverence” for Kim, inspired by such music as “Let’s Meet Each Other on the Front” and “Let the Soldiers Be Heroes.”

This year, there were some changes: gifts for the kids were in short supply. You could blame the country’s dismal financial situation, or take it right from the horse’s mouth: “abnormal climatic conditions” and “blocked sea routes” prevented the tradition from being continued. A handful made out, though “Presents were transported by helicopter for a small number of children,” the release reported, “a measure taken by Kim Jong Il.”