As part of the hellacious weather that we’ve been experiencing across North America this past month, the most unexpected destination recently received an unexpected snowstorm: Las Vegas. The hedonistic city oft known for gambling, sin and excruciatingly hot weather received several inches of snow in a sudden downfall, paralyzing traffic, surprising residents and delighting children.
These pictures, taken by Ethan Miller for Getty Images show some of the action first hand: surprised tourists, miserable workers, blanketed buildings and a general air of amazement in the desert city. I would have loved to have been there.
Every year, there is a quiet war waged at Adult Entertainment Expo (safe for work, just links to a previous article). On the one side are the throngs that come from across the country, eager to have that one-time meeting with Ava Rose or desperate to inhale Vivian West’s cigarette smoke. Opposing are the insiders, the people who work in the porn business. They use the convention as a way to reconnect with suppliers and clients … and to strike the deals that will feed them for the rest of the year. The insiders know that you will be there, and they know that you’ll be in the way. They’ve learned to live with this fact. I’ve been told, though, that they would like to pass along one request this year: take a shower.
I know how it is. You hit Las Vegas, and the excitement takes hold. You don’t need to eat or sleep. The booze and casinos are enough of a stimulant. Add a bit of porn, and the adrenaline spikes. You have no choice but to move nonstop. When I’ve covered Adult Entertainment Expo in the past, sleep was optional (usually about three hours a night), and I was lucky to eat once a day. I subsisted on caffeine and nicotine, and I loved it. But, I took a shower every day. At least one.
Want to know why? Given Gadling’s editorial policies, I have to hide the answer behind the jump …
A friend of mine, who is a fixture in the skin biz, asked that I share her advice plea with you:
You forgot to mention the #1 complaint about the fan boys at AEE [Adult Entertainment Expo] though… Please take a fucking shower at least twice during the four days you are at AEE! Seriously – that is the number one complaint from everyone working the convention, from porn chicks all the way through to the security.
Okay, there it is. If you think you have a shot with any of the young ladies whose work you have enjoyed in the past, you at least need to be clean. So, do us all a favor and use the plumbing in your hotel room. They don’t charge extra for it, and you’ll probably wind up having a better time. Assault a starlet’s nasal passages with your stench, and she’ll rush you out of her presence. If you don’t smell offensive, you may actually get a smile.
Top 10 lists are the lifeblood of blogging. How else, dear reader, can we quickly inform you of all you need to know about a topic in a format that is quick to read and simultaneously entertaining? The end of the year is fertile ground for top 10 lists, providing an opportunity to take a look at the previous 365 days and gaze at the marvelous things that have come to pass.
With this in mind, travel publication extraordinaire Lonely Planet has published their 2008 list of the “world’s top 10 weirdest cities” as part of their book, Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2009. Here’s a few of their picks:
Tokyo, Japan – I don’t think anyone is going to argue with this one
Las Vegas, Nevada – true only if you find $5 all-you-can-eat lobster tails to be eccentric
Amsterdam, The Netherlands – whoa, cannabis and sex shows. So weird!
Guanajuato, Mexico – I had always thought of Guanajuato as a charming Mexican colonial city, but that’s wrong. Apparently they have mummies. Mummies!
Anyone interested in checking out the full list can find it here. You have to wonder who was in charge of compiling these cities, but considering that Gadling might some day want to publish their own book of top 10’s, we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
What do you think of this list of top 10 weird cities? Think it’s a load of crap? Have any cities you think they left out? Leave us a comment below and tell us about your favorite weird city.
Don’t lie. You’ve heard of the AVN Awards … but only from your friends. Er, one friend, really.
Nobody watches porn adult movies, but everyone knows someone who does, right?. Well, now that you have an excuse for knowing about the AVN Awards (porn’s answer to the Oscars) why not check it out for yourself? Part of the broader Adult Entertainment Expo (January 9 – 11, 2009) experience in Las Vegas, it’s only two and a half weeks away, and there’s still plenty of space on the Strip.
Before we get into this, here’s a word of caution. The links in this article are safe for work until you get to the very end. If you want to learn more about the AVN Awards or Adult Entertainment Expo, I’ve supplied the links at the bottom.
January’s a busy time in Las Vegas. The enormous, famous Consumer Electronics Show draws more than 100,000 people every year and overlaps with the first few days of Adult Entertainment Expo, which adds another 30,000 or so conventioneers to the Sands. Fortunately, Las Vegas is rich in hotel rooms. Bargain-hunters can get rates of under $100 a night at the Stratosphere Hotel.
Prefer luxury (or convenience)? The Venetian is the top spot, but it will set you back a minimum of $259 a night. You can right walk from your room to the den of iniquity that is Adult Entertainment Expo convention floor without even stepping outside. Of course, there’s another advantage. If by some chance AVN Award co-hosts Belladonna and Jenna Haze want to join you for the evening (they are porn stars performers, in case you don’t know), the shorter distance allows less time for a change of heart … and you need every advantage.
%Gallery-39959%
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Let’s go over the logistics first. After all, you can’t just stroll up to the Sands and expect the staff to welcome you like they’ve been awaiting your arrival. Remember: 30,000 people for Adult Entertainment Expo, with another 100,000 nerdy onlookers from the Consumer Electronics Show. When you hit the ground in Vegas, you must have your shit together.
Tickets to Adult Entertainment Expo and the AVN Awards are sold separately, and they are pricey (more on the awards show in a bit). One-day access to the expo will set you back $80. If you plan to go all three “fan” days (there are a few days up front when the show is open only to business and media), that’s a substantial amount of cash. To take the sting out a bit, order your tickets online. You’ll save $20 (per day), and you won’t have to wait in what is usually a horrendous line. I’ve seen people who buy tickets at the event spend more than four hours waiting in line.
You’ve run the ticket-and-bouncer gauntlet, now, and you’re on the floor at Adult Entertainment Expo! Music is pounding, and porn stars are grinding stripper poles and groping each other on mechanical bulls (well, they were at the last expo). All the girls and studios whose names you’d never admit you know are in attendance. Monique Alexander, Bree Olson and Sasha Grey are already on the list (these three links are SFW). Make sure your camera battery is as charged as you are, and bring a spare if necessary.
Excited? Okay, let me ruin the dream for you. If you’re going to Adult Entertainment Expo to meet a few starlets, have a blast with your friends and generally act like a jackass, book your flight. You are going for the right reasons. If you have a particular girl in mind and plan to win her over with your good looks and wit, go to the nearest roulette table and bet your life’s savings on Black 17 (much better odds).
Even without the torrid porn star sex that you crave, the convention can be a blast. You’ll get to see all the big names in the business, hobnob with rocker-turned-porn-director Dave Navarro and fondle the new sex toys adult novelty items that are coming to market. The pictures you’ll show your co-workers will trigger long, penetrating conversations.
For me, last year’s best-in-show was Natch Snatch (read about them, SFW), which manufactures environmentally-friendly sex toys. They have a cool idea and a snappy slogan: “Keep the tox out of your box!” The interview below gives a bit more color.
“Grip and grin” is a major part of Adult Entertainment Expo. The performers pose for cameras, and most will sit for a shot with you. But, there is always something interesting going on beyond the long lines to have Sunny Lane sit on your lap for a fraction of a second. Some booths have adult-themed games (dildo ring-toss), performances by strippers and product demonstrations. Last year (thanks to press access). The amateur porn stars of Abby Winters, for example, offered blitz chess at their booth last year. Look around; there’s more to porn than the girls.
Do keep in mind that business is transacted in the background at Adult Entertainment Expo. Sure, the bulk of the event is for the fans, but if you look to the backs of the displays, you’ll catch glimpses of deals being struck that will shape what you-sorry, “your friend”-will watch for the coming year.
If the convention isn’t enough to scratch the sexiest of your itches, buy a ticket to the AVN Awards at Mandalay Bay (separate event). This will set you back another $107 to $240, depending on whether you spring for closer seats. Or, if you’re traveling in a pack, just spend $2,625 for your own table.
In addition to Best Actress, Best Big Butt Series and Best Cinematography, you’ll learn first-hand which company wins Best Packaging!. Thrilling, right? Do it once … to say you’ve done it once. I’ve covered Adult Entertainment Expo twice and still haven’t been to the awards-not interested in listening to porn stars thank mom, dad and their agents for all the support it took to rise to the top.
Looking back, I regret not having gone. Last year’s guests were able to witness living legend Jenna Jameson‘s on-stage meltdown!
Okay, still want to trek out to Las Vegas for the expo and awards? For all you first-timers, here’s some important advice:
1. Bring an extra suitcase. They give out a lot of free stuff. My pen from porn industry hedge fund AdultVest (probably SFW) still works 11 months later. T-shirts, DVDs and posters are abundant.
2. Make a plan. There are a lot of displays and countless girls. Review the schedule to see when your favorites will be available, and use that to structure your day.
3. Don’t dress to impress, because it’s a lost cause anyway. Nobody cares. Instead, opt for comfortable clothing (especially shoes), as you’ll be on your feet all day.
4. Go with friends. Flying solo at a porn convention may make you feel awkward. Anyway, if you do get (incredibly) lucky, you’ll want someone who can back up your story. Would anybody believe that you ducked into a bathroom stall for a quickie with Stoya?
5. Take only the security guards seriously. Everything else is fantasy land, but these guys are paid not to put up with your BS.
When you get ready to leave Sin City and return to reality, be smart when packing your bags. Remember that your carry-on could be searched in a public setting, and the only thing that can make people happy in line at security is to see someone else having a mounting of porn extracted from his (or her) backpack. Yes, it does happen.
If Las Vegas is “adult” Disneyland, then Adult Entertainment Expo is the Magic Kingdom. Go at least once in your life, and make that once 2009.
Links related to this article are below. Content may be SFW, but the domain names could cause problems. Be smart; do this part at home.
Is the cold weather already getting to you? How about a nice getaway to Vegas?
If you are able to find a decent airfare (good luck with that), then you can stay at the Monte Carlo starting at just $44. The deal even includes 2 buffet vouchers per night and $10 in slot play.
The $44 rate is of course only available on select dates, but when you check their availability overview, you’ll be able to find plenty of reasonably priced nights.
Of course, the period starting on January 7th goes way up, thanks to the International CES being held in Vegas that week.
Vegas has always had its fair share of good deals, but those often involve places off the strip, or places you could not be paid enough to stay at. Monte Carlo is a very nice property, and has enough on location to keep you entertained for the duration of your stay.
The deal can be found here, just click on “view available dates” to see when you’ll be able to snag one of the best prices.