Things NOT to do at Mardi Gras in New Orleans (unless you want to go to jail)

by Justin Glow on

Despite it’s relaxed, party atmosphere, the city of New Orleans has laws — even during Mardi Gras. Further, the city has a concentration of NOPD officers, ATF, and undercover police in the French Quarter during Carnival to enforce these laws. If you’re heading to the Big Easy for the Mardi Gras, here are a few things you might be tempted to do, but should consider otherwise. And remember: just because you see other people doing it doesn’t make it legal!

DO NOT urinate in the streets. If you’re in the French Quarter and need to pee, do not — no matter how bad you have to go — pee in the streets. Not only is it disrespectful to the city, it’s also one of the easiest ways to get thrown in the drunk tank for the weekend. Instead, pay a few bucks to get into a bar, club, or restaurant and order a drink to use their facilities; you’ll end up saving a lot of money in the long run when you don’t have to get bailed out of jail. Or if you have time to spare, hunt out a port-o-potty. They’re typically painted bright yellow and strategically located at most intersections on Bourbon. There’s also a large bank of portable toilets located on Chartres Street, two blocks southeast of Bourbon, in between Conti and St. Louis. Here’s a map, along with the quickest route from Bourbon. When you’re sober, seek out these free toilets and walk to Bourbon, taking note of landmarks on the way so that when you’re drunk later on, you can find your way back. Plus, seeking these out on a regular basis throughout the night gives you a good excuse to escape the crowds on Bourbon and relax a little.

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DO NOT get naked. Ladies and gentleman: take note. While the laws are typically relaxed for women, I’ve still seen a few get popped for flashing breasts, so be careful — it’s technically illegal. But whatever you do, don’t flash anything below the waist. Guys, there’s hardly anything more embarrassing than getting arrested with your wiener hanging out, so don’t do it. No butts, either; Just make it easy on yourself and keep your pants on. Ladies, respect this law too unless you want a Lewd Conduct charge sitting on your record.

DO NOT openly do drugs. This should be a no-brainer, but it seems every year I see someone getting arrested for this. Don’t think that being allowed to drink in the streets means you can smoke weed in the open, snort cocaine off trash cans, or pop pills in an alley (and yes, I’ve seen it all happen before). There are plenty of undercover cops walking the streets masked as common folk, so it’s nearly impossible to get away with this. Besides, Mardi Gras should give you all the high you need.

DO NOT bother cars and taxis trying to cross Bourbon. No matter how stupid you think someone is for attempting to drive across Bourbon street during Mardi Gras, keep your hands off their car as they slowly drive by. Drunks — young men usually — think it’s funny to give the driver a hard time by slapping their hands on the hood or rocking the car back and forth as it creeps through the crowd. It’s not funny, and you’ll be arrested for doing it. This is one of the dumbest things you can do, because cops usually hang out at intersections and will throw you on the ground and arrest you faster than you can say, “happy Mardi Gras!”

DO NOT get in a fight. If there’s one thing NOPD are looking out for, it’s fighting. And New Orleans’s finest are like ninjas when it comes to breaking up fights; I’ve seen two guys going at it in what seems like a crowd of millions when, out of nowhere, a posse of cops swoop in and break up the fight within seconds. It’s amazing, really. They don’t care who punched who first, who spilled whose drink, who ogled whose girlfriend’s breasts — if you’re involved in a fight, you’ll be arrested. If in the unfortunate event you make someone mad, apologize profusely and leave the area, alerting the nearest police officer of the situation. It might not be the manliest thing you can do, but ask yourself this: would you rather spend Mardi Gras having fun, or in jail?

DO NOT touch the pretty horse. NOPD uses mounted police for crowd control. No matter how cute or friendly the horse looks, keep your hands off the animal unless you ask the cop nicely first and they give you permission. Think it’d be funny to slap the horse’s ass? Think again! How does “assault on an officer” sound? Not good. In fact, if you see a cop on a horse on Bourbon and it’s not midnight on Fat Tuesday, it’s best to keep your distance. Chances are they’re about to spin that horse around to clear a crowd, and you don’t want to be caught in the middle.

That said, New Orleans — especially during Mardi Gras — is relaxed and fun. Leave your ego in the hotel room, respect the city, be safe, and have fun. And when you see NOPD, politely thank them for the job they’re doing. Many of them are working overtime to keep you safe.

Happy Mardi Gras!


Mardi Gras is right around the corner

by Justin Glow on

I just made a last-minute decision to head down to New Orleans next weekend for Mardi Gras. This will be my 7th Big Easy Mardi Gras in the last 8 years.

Unfortunately, I missed it last year — my first miss in 6 straight — and felt that my attraction to the city was slowly fading. But as this year’s festivities grew closer, I found myself missing it even more. Luckily my trusty Mardi Gras pal (and cousin) was interested in making the drive next weekend, so we’ll be there — if only for a few days.

My most recent trip wasn’t the best in memory. It was only a few months after Katrina, I was sick with the flu, and it rained the entire time. Things just weren’t the same, and I’m hoping this year will make up for it and get rid of the bad taste in my mouth.

Anyway, look for some on-the-scene coverage straight from NOLA next weekend, and if you’ll be in town too, let me know — we’ll meet up for a beer.

The Most Debaucherous Places I’ve Been to

by Martha Edwards on

I’m only in my 20s, but there have been a few places where the party-hard attitudes of locals and visitors alike have left me feeling more like 87 than 27. I like have fun as much as the next gal, but I’m not one to stay up drinking all night and into most of the next morning too. I need my rest, and plus, I am not good with hangovers. But nonetheless, I’ve been to a few excellent parties and made a valiant effort to stay up past midnight. Here are the top party spots I’ve visited at some point or another:

  • Ios, Greece: When people think of European party Islands, Ibiza is what automatically jumps to mind. But Ibiza’s lesser known Greek cousin, Ios, is still a pretty wild time. All the bars seem to be within stumbling distance of one another, and there are lots of post-club gyros vendors for some late-night snacking. For the record, the last time I was in Greece was 8 years ago, and apparently the party scene has shifted a bit …
  • Mardi Gras, Sydney, Australia: Sydney’s gay Mardi Gras is one of the world’s best-known parties. Is it for you? If you don’t mind crowds, gratuitous nudity and occasionally being groped by friendly Aussies, then yes. But don’t expect to actually see the world-famous parade unless you get a seat ahead of time (read: 8 o’clock in the morning.) — there are just too many people!
  • Full Moon Party, Koh Phangan, Thailand: I saw some pretty crazy things when I went to a full-moon with my friend Jenny and a group of Irish blokes we were travelling with. But when the drink of choice is buckets filled with coke, a mickey of Thai whiskey and Red Bull, you pretty much expect to see some pretty strange things — including a person you’ve never met snoozing on the hammock of your beach hut when you wake up the next day.
  • Puerto Vallarta, Mexico: I don’t remember much from my night out in Puerto Vallarta, except that a man dressed in a gorilla suit accompanied me to the ATM and I ended up on the stage of a club, showing off my mad drumming skills (for the record, I had never played the drums before, and haven’t since either.) I know many people say Cancun is ‘the‘ party capital, but I can’t vouch for that as I’ve never been out in Cancun.

That said, I’m sure there are much more wild places out there … I’m just not sure if I can handle them.

Air New Zealand to Offer Gay-Themed Flight

by Catherine Bodry on

Bring on the feather boas, shimmery eye makeup, and stiletto heels. And if you want to sleep, maybe some sleeping pills, because Air New Zealand’s gay-themed flight from San Francisco to Sydney promises to be 14 hours of nonstop fun.

The flight is scheduled to depart February 25 for the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney, Australia, which is one of the world’s most well-attended gay events. Passengers can expect drag queens, pink cocktails, and a cabaret, as well as gay-friendly movies and a “Get-Onboard Girlfriend” going away party.

Air New Zealand flight-tested a similar theme for Sydney’s Mardi Gras in 2007, when flight attendants wore pink feather boas and the pilot donned fairy wings. American Airlines, Air Canada, and other airline companies have become visible sponsors of gay pride events, but none so far have used “campy” programming to appeal to gay and lesbian travelers.

I’m a married, heterosexual woman, but this is one 14-hour flight I just might actually enjoy.

A Sampling of Labor Day Festivals

by Catherine Bodry on

There’s more to Labor Day than escaping for the weekend — most cities offer some sort of celebration. If you’ve decided to stick around town, here’s a small sampling of the odd, the crazy, and the large festivals across the country.

Southern Decadence

Known as the “Gay Mardi Gras,” this New Orleans celebration starts partying the Wednesday before Labor Day and doesn’t stop until the Tuesday afterward. The inclusion of “decadence ” in the title barely hints at the indulging and imbibing that go on for six days.

Events include a talent competition (talented kissing counts!), three 12-hour “dance parties” (read: raves), drag shows, and a big you-know-what contest. DJ ChiChi LaRue, better known as a porn director, presides over several events.

Tickets and passes are still available through the official website, and you can find hotel deals there as well.

Bumbershoot: Seattle’s Music and Arts Festival

A “bumbershoot” is an umbrella. I didn’t know this until I moved to Seattle, so I’m assuming that you don’t either. And I’m also assuming that Seattle’s largest music festival is named after said umbrella in a sort of crossed-fingers, let’s fool the gods, double-jinx move, wherein naming a festival after the most popular accessory in the northwest ensures that it won’t really rain. (Although the official website claims it’s a “metaphor for the festival being an umbrella for all of the various artists and performers it encompasses.”)

One ticket gets you in to see everthing, although some venues have limited seats. This year’s lineup includes The Shins, Wu-Tang Clan, Sean Paul, Fergie, and Joss Stone. Although music is Bumbershoot’s draw, there’s also comedy, literary arts, and various other performing arts, plus crafts, food and what’s sure to be a rockin’ beer garden.

Tickets are sold out for all three days, so if you’re a last-minute planner you might want to check out Craigslist and eBay for people who’ve had a change of plans.

Chicago Jazz Festival

Significantly more subdued than Southern Decadence, Chicago Jazz Festival nonetheless offers a lot to “get jazzed” (their motto, not mine) about. Three days of free jazz in Grant Park is kicked off by the only ticketed show of the weekend — An Evening with Herbie Hancock.

Chicago Jazz originated as a small festival in memory of Duke Ellington, and eventually joined forces with the John Coltrane Memorial Concert and the Jazz Institute of Chicago to showcase a talented line-up for which 125,000 enthusiasts came. 29 years later the festival still attracts the same kinds of crowds.

Mackinac Bridge Walk

Although it’s not an all-weekend event, the Mackinac Bridge Walk is celebrating its 50th year as something of a phenomenon, attracting close to 65,000 participants in the 5-mile walk. The bridge spans Lake Michigan from St. Ignace to Mackinac City, Michigan, and was an architectural wonder when it opened in 1957. It’s the third longest suspension bridge in the world (although until 1998 it the longest).

The governor-headed walk marks the only time pedestrians are allowed on the bridge. Participants describe the event as celebratory, and one person wrote that “the excitement is palpable.” If you’re in Michigan, it’s not a bad (or expensive — the walk is free) way to spend Labor Day.

No running allowed — if you just can’t walk, wait until May 28, 2008 when the Mackinac Bridge Run is held.

Mountain Man Rendezvous

If you enjoy playing pretend, then this festival could be for you. A historical reenactment of the “mountain man/trapper life,” Mountain Man Rendezvous in Fort Bridger, Wyoming celebrates the old days when trappers convened to sell their furs from the previous winter. Participants raise tepees and buckskin tents, and compete in events like knife throwing, tomahawk throwing, and black powder target shooting. A period food court serves up kettle corn, Indian fry bread, and other dishes from the time (don’t worry, there’s no squirrel). Museums stay open late and historians speak nightly, so you can say you learned something over your holiday weekend. The festival draws a crowd of about 40,000 so you might want to reserve your buckskin tent ASAP.