Galley Gossip: The Bachelor – airline employees, spouses & why Vienna is perfect for Jake

by Heather Poole on
If you think long distance dating is difficult, try being married to an airline employee. It ain’t easy. Because working for an airline is not just a job, it’s a lifestyle, a very unusual one. Even now, seven years later, my husband, a man who travels more often than I do, doesn’t completely understand how things work in the aviation industry and will often times get frustrated whenever we’re discussing our travel schedules. That’s because my schedule, much like a pilot’s schedule, can change at a moments notice, making it difficult to create long term plans. I work holidays and weekends and I’m away from home for days at a time. Not many people can handle that.
Pilots, for the most part, are type A personalities. They’re logical thinkers who remain calm, cool, and in control as they command the aircraft. Think Captain Sullenberger. There’s no room for emotion when faced with ditching an airplane into the Hudson River. Flight attendants, on the other hand, tend to be caretakers. We can pretty much make do in just about any situation. There’s a reason why so many flight attendants end up on reality television shows like Survivor, Amazing Race, etc. Now they say opposites attract. I believe it. So is it any wonder that many pilots and flight attendants wind up having relationships with people who are completely different from themselves? Quite a few pilots tend to choose nurturing types like flight attendants, nurses and teachers, while a lot of flight attendants seem to get involved with pilots, police officers and firemen. Makes sense.
In my last post, The Bachelor – pilots, fashion & a few pilot fashion tips, I mentioned that I’m a fan of the reality television show The Bachelor. Well it just so happens that this season the man in command of the rose ceremony is a pilot named Jake. I truly believe that Vienna, one of the final four contestants, will be the last woman standing. What can I say, I always go for the underdog. Also, I admire strength in the face of adversity. Oh, sure, Vienna’s a little immature, sharing intimate details of her dates with Jake that would have been better left unsaid, but she’s young, thinks she’s in love, and excited about what the future may hold. No one is perfect. So why would I choose the wild child who rubs everyone the wrong way, the woman who snuck into bed with the captain of her dreams only to be turned away and sent back to where she came from? Two reasons: 1. She has the type of personality that can handle life as a pilot’s wife. 2. The psychological effect of fear.

In college I studied psychology and wound up taking a class on human sexuality. That’s where I learned all about the power of fear. It can paralyze a person. I can’t tell you how many passengers I’ve met over the years who are afraid to fly, who completely freak out at the mere hint of turbulence. Fear can also save a life. It’s called your sixth sense. One should always trust it. You may be surprised to learn that fear also has a lesser known, more interesting effect on humans. It has been shown that men find women more attractive when they’re scared.

Remember Jake’s one on one date with Vienna? More specifically, remember the bungee jump nervous breakdown? Jake, it turns out, is afraid of heights. But he’s a pilot! I know. How can a pilot who spends a majority of his time at 30,000 feet be afraid of heights? Simple. In an airplane Jake is in control. But jumping off the side of a bridge is a completely different story. So when Vienna, quite naturally, found herself comforting Jake as he tried to catch his breath before taking the giant leap, I thought to myself, perhaps she’s the one. Finally, hand in hand, Jake and Vienna took the plunge. That’s when I knew she had an edge over the other women in the house. Then, as the two of them bounced a few feet above the ground, face to face, embracing each other tightly and kissing passionately upside down, I felt like she might be the one to walk away with the final rose. I’m glad, because I think Vienna is perfect for Jake.

Early on in the show Vienna was scorned by the other women in the house. Basically she’s pretty much been on her own from the very beginning. It takes strength to put up with a house full of catty women, and Vienna handles it with a smile on her face. Whether or not you like the girl, you have to give her props for dealing with a difficult situation quite beautifully. I don’t think I would have been quite so nice. This tells me that Vienna is a survivor. I mean if she can handle Ali’s temper tantrum at the second to last rose ceremony, she can handle just about anything. Not to mention, she also seems like a lot of fun, capable of putting a smile on Jake’s face in any situation, even the awkward ones.

Jake should choose a woman who is not only nurturing, but also independent since she will spend half the month alone. Jake will be away at least twelve days a month. Because of this he needs someone strong, confident, and loyal, a woman who can deal with last minute changes and can also make spur of the moment decisions that include back up plans A, B, & C – just in case something goes wrong, because when you work for an airline, something is bound to go wrong. Take it from me, a flight attendant, this is not an easy combination to find in a partner. Here’s why the other women are all wrong for Jake…


  • GIA: Smart, sweet, and drop dead gorgeous, Gia has it going on. She’s the perfect woman. If I were a man, she would be the one. If Jake weren’t a pilot, I would root for her. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Gia ends up one of the last two women standing at the alter. But because Gia admitted in the last episode that she doesn’t always feel secure, which is not a good thing when married to a person who isn’t always around to boost the ego, I don’t think she’s the perfect match for Jake.
  • ALI: No doubt about it, Ali is the most outspoken woman in the house. At times she comes off as a you-know-what. Instead of focusing on Jake, she’s chosen to put all her energy into hating the competition, Vienna. Not a good sign. Marriage is work. It’s not easy to remain focused on the positive, on what made you fall in love with your partner in the first place without life distracting you from what’s truly important. Can a person prone to jealousy and negativity handle a life with someone who is constantly surrounded by adoration from both men and women? I doubt it.
  • TENLEY: Sensitive and sweet, she’s a likeable girl with a big heart. I can see why Jake would be attracted to her. But in the long run, she might be too fragile for Jake’s lifestyle after being involved in a failed marriage to the one and only man she’s known intimately, a man who abandoned her for another woman. Jake’s a pilot. Each and every month he will have to leave her in order to go to work. Is Tenley strong enough to handle all those nights at home alone? I don’t think so.
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Don’t forget to tune in tonight at 8pm on ABC for the exciting hometown date episode of The Bachelor.

Photos courtesy of The Bachelor web site.

In the Heart of Central America: Planning a wedding or honeymoon in Honduras

by Katie Hammel on

Imagine walking down a lush green aisle to a small open-air wooden structure where billowy white curtains frame a view of a valley spread below and blueish mountains in the distance. An intimate group of family and friends has gathered to watch you say your vows on this hilltop and after the ceremony, they’ll join you to celebrate as the sun sets and the lights of the village beneath you and the stars above begin to twinkle in the dark.

That fantasy, and several others, can come true in Honduras. Honduras is overlooked as a destination wedding or honeymoon spot, but the country offers just as many opportunities for romance as its Caribbean and Central American counterparts.

Whether you fancy yourself as a barefoot bride or want to go eco-chic, Honduras has a wedding locale for you. And because all-inclusive “wedding factory” resorts don’t exist here, brides can take comfort in knowing that their special day will indeed be special and private.

Those looking for an adventurous honeymoon in Honduras will find plenty of activities, like zip-lining, diving, horseback riding and white-water rafting here as well. Here are three location options to get you started planning a wedding or honeymoon in Honduras.

Copan
Hacienda San Lucas is situated on a hill just outside of the town of Copan Ruin as. From the hotel’s deck chairs, you can see the ruins of Copan and the town below. It’s a long walk from the Hacienda into town, but owner Flavia will arrange for pick up and drop off for guests. You can also hop into a moto-taxi for the $1 ride home.

The Hacienda was a labor of love, and it shows. Flavia was born in Honduras, but moved to Kentucky and lived there for three decades. She eventually returned home and took over the property that had been in her family’s name for a hundred years. It was in a sad state of disrepair, so Flavia set about restoring it piece by piece. As she says, she would sell one cow and have enough money to restore one wall. Another cow sold equaled another wall.

It was a long process, and by the time the renovation was complete, nearly ten years had passed, over 4000 native trees, including cacao and fruit trees, had been planted on the property, solar lighting had been installed in the rooms, and 50% of the employees were local Maya Chorti people, descendants of the indigenous Maya people.

When the resort first opened, it was just two rooms. Now it’s grown to eight rooms spread amongst three buildings. Rates for rooms that are basic but comfortable start at $125 for low season. Rooms don’t have A/C, TV, radios or telephones, but they do have hammocks and there is wi-fi at the main house. There’s also a restaurant where Flavia serves a four-course dinner ($30 per person) made of grown-onsite or locally purchased ingredients. Because she only buys as much as she needs each day, reservations are required.

On the night I dined by candlelight at Hacienda San Lucas, were were served a salad of cantaloupe and fresh cheese, a velvety cream of corn soup with chipilin flower and macadamia nut powder, and a rich creamy dish of chicken in lorocco (a native flower) sauce, baked in a corn husk and served with avocado and rice. For dessert: Kentucky rum cake. After tasting her delicious food, I could see why Flavia’s cooking retreats at the Hacienda were popular.

Hacienda San Lucas also has one feature that makes it perfect for a destination wedding. Gaia, the Hacienda’s yoga center (where Flavia also runs yoga retreats) is one of the most picture-perfect wedding locales I have ever seen. Perched at the top of a hill overlooking the whole valley of Copan, it feels incredibly intimate, romantic, and natural. As soon as I saw it, I told my husband that I’d found the spot where I’d someday like to renew our vows.

For couples who get married here, the planning couldn’t be easier – Flavia does it all. She’ll decorate Gaia and bring in chairs for guests (unless you want them to sit on pillows on the floor), arrange for flowers, a band, an officiant and a photographer.

Dinner will, of course, be served at the Hacienda restaurant. Afterward, guests can dance under the stars, relax with a view of Copan Ruins, or sit by the fire at the Hacienda’s firepit.

Rent out the whole place for your wedding, or just book a room for the bride and groom and then encourage guests to stay down in town. Flavia will arrange for round trip transportation for your party.

Pre- or post-wedding, spend a few days exploring Copan, venture off to visit an eco-lodge in La Ceiba or relax on the beaches of Roatan.

Roatan
If getting married barefoot in the sand is more your style, head to Roatan, where resorts like eco-friendly Palmetto Bay Plantation allow you to get married on an empty beach on the shores of the Caribbean.

Divers looking for an intimate ceremony can say “I do” to their scuba sweetheart at Anthony’s Key. The resort will handle all details and offers several ceremony locations to choose from. The honeymoon package includes 7 nights accommodations, all meals, 3 dives per day, 2 night dives, all equipment, dolphin snorkel and open water dolphin dive, wine and flowers on arrival, horseback riding, kayaking, canoeing and other excursions for $1789 per person.

La Ceiba
If you prefer a more traditional wedding reception but want a natural setting, try the Lodge at Pico Bonito, named for the mountain that rises over it. Rooms start at around $200 and there are 22 rooms onsite. Set on 400 acres of tropical rain forest, the resort is home to hundreds of species of birds, which you can see on guided hikes around the property. There are two nearby waterfalls for swimming and the resort features a restaurant, pool, butterfly house and serpentarium.

Rooms are wooden huts built on stilts. Clean, with soft beds and ceiling fans, each cabin has its own hammock for lazy afternoons.

The reception space is air conditioned, seats up to 200 guests, and serves dishes like coffee crusted beef medallions from the restaurant.

Spend your honeymoon days zip-lining through the jungle, white-water rafting, and wildlife viewing, or explore the rest of Honduras.

Requirements for getting married in Honduras
Most resorts will help you with the paperwork and provide an officiant for the ceremony. Generally the paperwork is due 14 days before the wedding will take place. You’ll need to provide a certified copy of your birth certificate, a certified copy of your police record and an affidavit of single status, as well as a valid passport.

If you’ve been married before, you’ll need a certified copy of either the divorce decree or your previous spouse’s death certificate. You’ll also need two non-related witnesses, who must have valid passports.

This trip was paid for by the Honduras Institute of Tourism, but the views expressed are entirely my own.

You can read other posts from my series on Honduras here.

Tie the knot or just recharge in the Riviera Maya

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Surround yourself with an emerald-green jungle, and take a plunge in turquoise blue waters with a stay at the Valentin Imperial Maya Resort. This luxurious all-inclusive property is just the destination you’ll need when we reach the depths of winter and just need a break. Have kids? Line up a babysitter: this is an adults-only property, so you’ll be able to take a vacation from every aspect of real life imaginable, enveloped by the warmth and comfort of the Riviera Maya. Sun yourself on the Playa Del Secreto, and recharge your spirit.

The Valentin Imperial Maya Resort offers 540 suites in six categories, a 900-foot meandering swimming pool with three island pools across the property and a natural lagoon. There’s a main pool, as well, featuring two swim-up bars. Back in the rooms, you’ll find marble bathrooms with hydro-massage tubs, nightly turndown service and nine restaurants, featuring cuisine from Italy, France, Japan, Mexico and other cultures. But, if you really want style, arrange for a private dinner on the beach. Spa treatments are available on the property, along with couples rooms that feature a Jacuzzi and rain shower.

“By offering guests a high level of elegant and personalized service, Valentin Imperial Maya Resort is setting new standards of quality for all-inclusive resorts,” says Dirk Urban, General Manager Valentin Imperial Maya. “What sets Valentin apart from other hotel brands,” he continues, “is our attention to detail and the unique ability of our staff to make guests feel comfortable and taken care of, as if they were among family.”

If the Valentin puts you in the mood for a big move, there’s an official Roman Catholic chapel on the property, a great place to tie the not. Don’t worry, there are two dedicated wedding concierges who can help with planning the big day.

10 tips for traveling as a couple – and not breaking up

by Katie Hammel on

Traveling together for the first time as a couple can be a make-or-break experience. You can learn more about a person on a two-day trip than you can in a few weeks of dating.

When you travel with someone, you quickly figure out how he interacts with other cultures, how she manages money, how she handles stress, or how he deals with conflict when the two of you cannot escape each other. Not to mention, you’ll be privy to all those things the other person may have tried (maybe successfully) to hide from you before: she doesn’t look quite the same without her makeup on, and you do not want to go in the bathroom after he uses it first thing in the morning.

Travel can be a more intense experience than life at home, and that holds true for couples traveling together too. But, traveling with your mate can also be an enriching experience that brings the two of you closer. Here are some tips for traveling with your significant other, whether you’re planning your first trip together or have been exploring the world as a couple for some time.Start small
The length of time you spend on your trip should be directly proportionate to the amount of time you have been dating. Couples who have been together for years have a better chance of surviving long-term travel, while those who have been together for less than 12 months should stick to trips of a week to 10 days.

If you’ve only been dating a month or two, do not attempt more than a weekend jaunt for your first effort, and never plan a trip more days in advance than the amount of time you have been together. Known each other one month? I don’t care if you are in love. I still wouldn’t recommend you buy tickets for a two-week long trip for three months from now.

Pick the right location
I often hear people ask what is a good “romantic destination.” That’s the wrong question. Any destination can be romantic. Romance is more about who you are with, what you do, and your state of mind than where you are on the map. Sure, some locations are more picturesque or have more “romantic” lodging options, but that doesn’t mean they are the perfect place for you and your sweetie.

Focus more on what you want to see and do and go from there. If you get bored lying on the beach all day, you aren’t going to have a great trip, no matter how “romantic” the resort claims to be. Talk to your significant other and discuss what you each want to do and what your travel style is, and select a location based on those considerations.

Plan together
In many relationships, it seems like one person always takes the reins of planning while the other is content to be led. This can work out fine for decisions such as where to go to dinner, but when you are talking about spending several days, and possibly several hundred dollars, on a trip, both people need to contribute to the decision making. Once you’ve settled on a location, you can divvy up the planning responsibilities in one of several ways.

If one person is more of a foodie, he or she can select restaurants, while the person who is more passionate about history or art chooses which museums to visit. Another option is to alternate days when each person plans the itinerary. You’ll decided what to do on Monday; he’ll make Tuesday’s plan. The third option, and the one that works best for my husband and I, is to each make a plan based on what we want to do. Then we compare (usually finding that most of our “must-do” activities are the same) and craft a final itinerary from there.



Compromise
In the travel planning and on the trip, you have to realize that you can’t get your way all the time. When creating an itinerary that includes both what you want to do and what your significant other wants to do, you often will each have to give up a few things in order to make it work. One way my husband and I do this is to figure out how many activities, cities, or restaurants we can fit in on the trip. Then we each make a list of our top choices, filling in one from each person until we have maxed out our time. This way we each get to do the things that are most important to us.

Take time apart
For your sanity, and in order to do some things you may want to do that your mate does not, it’s important to take time apart on your trip. Whether it’s 20-30 minutes to clear your head with an early morning run on a short weekend trip, or taking off an entire afternoon of a week-long trip to visit a museum that your significant other has no interest in, spending some time apart is vital. It can help prevent you from getting frustrated with each other and having petty arguments, and it can allow you the time to do things that matter most to you. Plus, a little time apart can make you appreciate the time you spend together even more.

Talk budget before you go
Money is one of the main sources of disagreement for all couples, whether they be traveling or not. It’s easy to say, “I’m on vacation, I’ll deal with it later,” and then cry when you get your credit card bill. One member of the couple may also feel pressured to keep up with the other, which can then lead to resentment.

Before you begin booking your trip, talk openly and honestly about what you can afford and how you plan to divide the costs. Unless your finances are already shared, the best system is to set a budget and go dutch on all costs. This doesn’t have to mean splitting the check at every restaurant though. Just figure out how much you plan to spend on each expense and assign each cost to one person.

For instance, if your hotel will be $500 for five nights and the plane tickets were $250, you can pay for the flights while you mate pays for the hotel. If you’ve budgeted $100 per night for dinner, just switch off picking up the tab.

Be flexible
While I’m a firm believer in making an itinerary and planning a budget for every trip, I think it’s equally important to remain flexible. Things change. Sometimes after a long day of sightseeing, you just don’t want to go to that fancy restaurant you had selected for dinner. The day you wanted to climb the Duomo for the perfect view dawns cloudy and grey. Make a plan but plan for it to change. Always have a Plan B and Plan C and don’t let the little hiccups frustrate you. Sometimes the best things can happen when your plans fall through.

Keep a sense of humor
With precious little vacation time, sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have the perfect trip, to enjoy every single second of it to the fullest. When that doesn’t happen, we’re crushed. But things go wrong on the road. Planes are delayed, luggage gets lost, hotels lose reservations and sometimes even the most highly recommended restaurant turns out to be a disappointment.

When bad things happen, try to keep an open mind. So a crazy Italian chef screamed at you for suggesting that the swordfish wasn’t all that fresh(as happend to me on my honeymoon), don’t let it ruin your trip. Find a way to laugh about it and you’ll end up with a better experience, and a better story to tell when you come home. So you’re hopelessly lost, it’s raining and your train leaves in an hour. The worst that happens could be that you are out a bit of money and spend an extra night in the city. Try to keep things in perspective. Remember, in most cases, the troubles you have are minor and temporary.

Make time for romance
Any trip, any restaurant, any hotel, is as romantic as you make it. When we’re running around sightseeing, trying to pack a lot into a short trip, it’s easy to forget to slow down and appreciate the time we have with the one we love. Sometimes we need to schedule romance. On even the most budget trip, find a way to do something special for your partner. Whether it be a picnic with a view, an order of breakfast in bed, a splurge meal, or just a long moonlit stroll under the lights of the city, be sure to plan at least one thoughtful surprise for your significant other.

Protect your investment
Of course you and your love are never, ever going to break up. And certainly not before your week-long trip through Napa Valley or your two-week jaunt through his ancestral land of Ireland. But…..these things do happen. I know several people who’ve lost hundreds of dollars worth of plane tickets because they were dumped right before the trip, or who suffered through an uncomfortable vacation (rather than lose the money) and broke up as soon as they got home.

Don’t let this happen to you. Make sure that your ticket cost can be refunded or that the tickets can be changed. If you need to put down a deposit, find out when the last day to get a refund is. For a trip of significant cost, look into travel insurance, which often contains a “cancel for any reason” provision that would cover heartbreak and allow you to recoup all funds if the relationship goes sour.

Get a free wedding in St. Maarten

by Katie Hammel on

Hosting a destination wedding is a great way to cut down on the expenses involved in getting married. Fewer guests equal less money spent on food, drinks and invitations, and fewer tables to seat those guests means your costs for flowers and rentals like linens and chairs will also be lower. Two Sonesta resorts in St. Maarten – Sonesta Maho Beach Resort and Casino and the Sonesta Great Bay Beach Resort and Casino – are now making the idea of a destination wedding even more appealing. . .and affordable.

Guests who book a seven night stay for themselves and 20 guests (10 rooms with double occupancy) will receive a free wedding package. And we’re not talking a single bottle of champagne and a sheet cake. No, this package includes the reception dinner and open bar. With my friends and family, that savings alone would be significant.

The package also includes the services of a wedding coordinator, marriage licensing services, wedding cake, corsage and boutonniere for the bride and groom, room upgrade, and 10% off of spa services.

[via HotelChatter]