Airline complains about fees?!

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Like all airlines, Qantas is looking to cut costs. And, it saw an opportunity by forming partnerships with some of Australia‘s airports. If all were to go according to plan, Qantas could make a dent in its annual airport costs of $544 million (AU$700 million). While some airports are willing to play ball, others (like Sydney and Brisbane) aren’t … leaving an airline to complain about fees, for a change.

Taking a page from the playbook of (in)famous Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary, Alan Joyce (top dog at Qantas) made a rather hostile public announcement, “Airports are very, very good at earning revenues out of everything you could imagine – if they could charge for oxygen at the airport they probably would.”

Joyce and Qantas recently came under fire for charging up to $124 (AU$160) exit row seating and calling it “giving passengers more of an option.” He also says that Qantas is following the trend rather than blazing the trail when it comes to additional fees.

Qantas is facing a loss for the second half of its fiscal year, the first time this has happened since the SARS outbreak in 2003.

Whether Qantas gets relief is immaterial … all that matters is that it’s found a way to pass the buck.

Ryanair: print your tickets at home or not, you pay

by Tom Johansmeyer on

We’re all used to airline fees that punish inconvenient behavior. So, I was beyond impressed when Ryanair found a way to punish the helpful … and punish the helpless. Starting on May 20, passengers will have to pay €10 if they print their own tickets. Essentially, taking matters into your own hands and saving time and expense at the airport will cost you somewhere between $10 and $15.

It sounds like incentive to cause a delay at the counter while you ask thousands of questions while a ticket agent tries to print your pass as quickly as possible. Michael O’Leary & Company thought of this, however, and are charging €40 ($40 to $60, depending on where exchange rates go) for those who try to avoid the €10 fee.

Put simply: the cost of flying Ryanair just went up €10, unless you want it to be up €40.

Fortunately, there is an exception to this rule. If you picked up a €5 fare that includes all fees, you won’t get slapped with any extras.

Online check-in used to be free. Apparently, this “discriminated” against passengers from outside the European Economic Area, as they weren’t able to check in via the web until recently, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald. Key word: weren’t. Now they are. So, the discrimination is gone.

That doesn’t stop Ryanair and its twisted logic, though: the new policy doesn’t discriminate because everybody has to pay!

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Ryanair: get in shape, carry your own bags

by Tom Johansmeyer on

European object of disdain low-cost carrier Ryanair is always looking for ways to save a few bucks. From pay-to-piss to the fat tax, the airline has put forth a stream of ideas that really haven’t gotten off the ground. Well, CEO Michael O’Leary has a new one to add to the list: mandatory luggage self-service.

Under this new model, passengers would carry their bags through airport security and drop them at the steps at the bottom of the plane. Turnaround times remain a concern – as they are for the fat tax. Let’s be realistic: the only people in the airport more likely to screw something up than baggage handlers are the passengers themselves.

If you spend 15 minutes staring at the menu at Sbarro and can’t figure the damned thing out, you probably shouldn’t be trusted to carry your own bags.

Flight delays may be wrinkle in Ryanair fat tax

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary says he’ll only move forward with plans to charge oversized passengers for extra seats if it’s easy. If it slows down the process of checking people in and getting planes pushed back from the gate, he wants no part of making more money.

Surprisingly, O’Leary didn’t comment on whether larger passengers would slow planes down, causing further delays. The media whore controversy-prone CEO – who then wonders why “idiot bloggers” treat him as we do – is known for offering journalists the outrageous and then wondering why they publish it.

Unsurprisingly, O’Leary used the phrase “fat tax” in a press conference. Specifically, “We are not going to introduce a fat tax unless it is easy to administer,” as reported in the Sydney Morning Herald.

While the public actually voted in favor of this measure, it’s nonetheless been a lightning rod for criticism. With typical panache, O’Leary says, ostensibly to critics, that a fat tax is not against the law, which is the company’s usual standard for behavior.

And, when all else fails, “we can make it a safety issue.”

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Ryanair CEO: Swine flu only affects ‘slum dwellers’

by Jeffrey White on

I’m apprehensive about giving any press to the buffoon who runs the Irish budget airline Ryanair. But so adept is Michael O’Leary, the company’s CEO, at making ill-considered statements that its simply too easy to report them.

This is the guy who recently suggested that Ryanair might begin charging for use of its on board toilets, and a while back suggested that the airline might start giving out blow jobs.

Mr. O’Leary today weighs in on the fears surrounding swine flu, saying the virus is only a risk to Asians and Mexicans “living in slums,” according to the Times of London.

Now it’s true that the media are probably hyping swine flu a bit too much, with all the talk of a global pandemic, but clearly this is not just a problem of the slums. Travelers who have vacationed in well developed places like Cancun have returned home to find themselves infected.

“Are we going to die from swine flu? No. Are we in danger of SARS? No. Foot and mouth disease? No. Will it affect people flying short-haul flights around Europe this summer? Thankfully, no,” Mr O’Leary said, according to the Times.

“It is a tragedy only for people living … in slums in Asia or Mexico. But will the honeymoon couple from Edinburgh die? No. A couple of Strepsils will do the job.”

What do you think? Is the media making too much of the swine flu? Will in impact travel?