Ryanair: print your tickets at home or not, you pay

by Tom Johansmeyer on

We’re all used to airline fees that punish inconvenient behavior. So, I was beyond impressed when Ryanair found a way to punish the helpful … and punish the helpless. Starting on May 20, passengers will have to pay €10 if they print their own tickets. Essentially, taking matters into your own hands and saving time and expense at the airport will cost you somewhere between $10 and $15.

It sounds like incentive to cause a delay at the counter while you ask thousands of questions while a ticket agent tries to print your pass as quickly as possible. Michael O’Leary & Company thought of this, however, and are charging €40 ($40 to $60, depending on where exchange rates go) for those who try to avoid the €10 fee.

Put simply: the cost of flying Ryanair just went up €10, unless you want it to be up €40.

Fortunately, there is an exception to this rule. If you picked up a €5 fare that includes all fees, you won’t get slapped with any extras.

Online check-in used to be free. Apparently, this “discriminated” against passengers from outside the European Economic Area, as they weren’t able to check in via the web until recently, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald. Key word: weren’t. Now they are. So, the discrimination is gone.

That doesn’t stop Ryanair and its twisted logic, though: the new policy doesn’t discriminate because everybody has to pay!

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Ryanair: get in shape, carry your own bags

by Tom Johansmeyer on

European object of disdain low-cost carrier Ryanair is always looking for ways to save a few bucks. From pay-to-piss to the fat tax, the airline has put forth a stream of ideas that really haven’t gotten off the ground. Well, CEO Michael O’Leary has a new one to add to the list: mandatory luggage self-service.

Under this new model, passengers would carry their bags through airport security and drop them at the steps at the bottom of the plane. Turnaround times remain a concern – as they are for the fat tax. Let’s be realistic: the only people in the airport more likely to screw something up than baggage handlers are the passengers themselves.

If you spend 15 minutes staring at the menu at Sbarro and can’t figure the damned thing out, you probably shouldn’t be trusted to carry your own bags.

Flight delays may be wrinkle in Ryanair fat tax

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary says he’ll only move forward with plans to charge oversized passengers for extra seats if it’s easy. If it slows down the process of checking people in and getting planes pushed back from the gate, he wants no part of making more money.

Surprisingly, O’Leary didn’t comment on whether larger passengers would slow planes down, causing further delays. The media whore controversy-prone CEO – who then wonders why “idiot bloggers” treat him as we do – is known for offering journalists the outrageous and then wondering why they publish it.

Unsurprisingly, O’Leary used the phrase “fat tax” in a press conference. Specifically, “We are not going to introduce a fat tax unless it is easy to administer,” as reported in the Sydney Morning Herald.

While the public actually voted in favor of this measure, it’s nonetheless been a lightning rod for criticism. With typical panache, O’Leary says, ostensibly to critics, that a fat tax is not against the law, which is the company’s usual standard for behavior.

And, when all else fails, “we can make it a safety issue.”

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Ryanair CEO: Swine flu only affects ‘slum dwellers’

by Jeffrey White on

I’m apprehensive about giving any press to the buffoon who runs the Irish budget airline Ryanair. But so adept is Michael O’Leary, the company’s CEO, at making ill-considered statements that its simply too easy to report them.

This is the guy who recently suggested that Ryanair might begin charging for use of its on board toilets, and a while back suggested that the airline might start giving out blow jobs.

Mr. O’Leary today weighs in on the fears surrounding swine flu, saying the virus is only a risk to Asians and Mexicans “living in slums,” according to the Times of London.

Now it’s true that the media are probably hyping swine flu a bit too much, with all the talk of a global pandemic, but clearly this is not just a problem of the slums. Travelers who have vacationed in well developed places like Cancun have returned home to find themselves infected.

“Are we going to die from swine flu? No. Are we in danger of SARS? No. Foot and mouth disease? No. Will it affect people flying short-haul flights around Europe this summer? Thankfully, no,” Mr O’Leary said, according to the Times.

“It is a tragedy only for people living … in slums in Asia or Mexico. But will the honeymoon couple from Edinburgh die? No. A couple of Strepsils will do the job.”

What do you think? Is the media making too much of the swine flu? Will in impact travel?

Ryanair – to pay to pee or not to pay to pee?

by Scott Carmichael on

Oh Ryanair, how you mock us.

Yesterday, every news source in the world (well, many of them) were abuzz with the news that Ryanair exec Michael O’Leary announced he’d be introducing coin operated bathrooms on his planes.

Normally, when an airline owner announces something on the news, you take it seriously. Apparently that is no longer possible when it comes to stuff O’Leary says.

The latest update in the “paid bathroom concept” comes from a Ryanair spokesperson who’s actual statement was:

“Maybe O’Leary was just taking the p*ss this morning. Michael makes a lot of this stuff up as he goes along and while this has been discussed internally there are no immediate plans to introduce it”.

Someone might want to keep O’Leary away from the press for the time being, before you know it, he’ll be saying something really stupid like that he wants his flight attendants giving free oral sex on his upcoming transatlantic flights.

Check out these stories of booze gone bad in the skies