Ten steps to turn the passenger next to you into a fling (or more)

Want to get lucky on your next flight? The odds of initiating a perfect stranger into the mile-high club are pretty slim, even if you do know all the right things to say. Of course, you could have a conversation, make a connection and want to make it real on the ground. So, how can that happen? Plugging in and tuning out aren’t going to help you much. Instead, you have to roll the dice and be social, risking a long talk with a total dud. It’s still worth a shot: even a long flight is finite.

So, let’s look at 10 ways you can pursue love or lust in the friendliest of skies:

1. Stop working: focus on your career while you’re in your seat, and that’s all you’ll find waiting for you on the ground. Close your laptop. Put down those reports. Clear the tray table in front of you. Crack a smile.

2. Buy a drink: it works in a bar, right? Spring for a glass of wine or a mini-bottle of vodka. In addition to being nice, you’ll also have a great way to start a conversation, especially if the flight attendant does something nutty.

3. Start listening: and to something other than your iPod. A winning conversation starts with your ears (and this is the only way you’ll find out if your seatmate is your kind of crazy).

4. Do a little talking:
everyone loves a great listener, but you have to put some skin in the game to (especially if that’s ultimately your goal … so to speak). Chat up your neighbor, and be both honest and realistic. For a long-term connection, this is a must; for a quick jaunt to the back of the plane, it’ll take more than some quick talking.5. Make plans: whether you’re looking for a 30,000 foot liaison or something more enduring, make plans. It’s great to take what happens on a plane into the real world, so trade business cards and personal cell phone numbers. If all you want to do is make it back to the lav, plan that mad dash shortly after the beverage service starts.

6. Take advantage of open seating: for flights on the Delta Shuttle and Southwest, for example, board in the middle of the pack (great advice from USA Today). You’ll get a good idea of your choices and will still have plenty of seats available. Just don’t do this on easyJet. You’ll never hear the end of meeting someone on easyJet.

7. Use business cards: you don’t need cards to swap information, but it is a lot easier. Jotting digits down on a napkin is risky, and handwriting becomes an issue. Don’t leave anything to chance!

8. Leave the airport together:
if you’re going the same way as your new buddy, extend you trip a little. Offer to a share a cab or town car (or whatever ground transportation you choose). You’ll put a bit more time on your side.

9. Set it up: never leave sales call without scheduling your next one. Before you part ways, try to line up your next encounter. Then, all you’ll have to do next time is show up!

10. Hope for the best: who knows where it’s going? Cross your fingers, find a shooting star and carry your lucky penny.

[photo by hoyasmeg via Flickr]

Ralph Fiennes mile high club flight attendant back in the spotlight

It was back in 2007 when we first wrote about Lisa Robertson. This former cop turned callgirl turned flight attendant made the news when she admitted to having sex with actor Ralph Fiennes in a Qantas airplane bathroom.

Mr. Fiennes was on his way to speak at an AIDS conference to talk about the dangers of unprotected sex, when he had his unprotected sex with Ms. Robertson.

Since then, she has been fired by Qantas and recently declared bankruptcy. Sadly, she’s in the news again because she “forgot” to mention to the courts that she actually made about $180,000 from TV and newspaper interviews, all while still receiving social security benefits. She has been sentenced to 100 hours of community service.

Naked guy forces Albuquerque landing

Keith Wright, a New Yorker (damn!) felt restricted by more than just cramped airline seating today. On a flight from Charlotte to Los Angeles, he ditched his clothing and did not respond (vocally, at least) to flight attendant requests to put them back on. The mile-high nudist also wouldn’t accept the cover of a blanket.

As a result of Wright’s defiance, the US Airways flight was diverted to Albuquerque, where the passenger was met by federal authorities. According to the FBI, he’s now in federal custody, with a charge of interfering with flight crew members and attendants. Once Wright got off (the plane), the flight continued to its planned destination.

Every story has a moral: you’ll have no problem getting a blanket from a flight attendant if you strip.

Itching to learn more about high-altitude nekkidness? Click here to get the bare truth.

Mile high club has new hero

Joining the mile-high club is bold … doing it in the crew rest area is beyond praiseworthy. Rather than punishment, awards should be given. But, Hong Kong’s Cathay Pacific takes a different view. The airline is investigating this unorthodox use of a Boeing 777, and I’m rooting for the good guys.

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, a couple was found coupling in first class seats that fold out into beds (hell, what else would you do with them?). Either to offer some privacy or enjoy a private show, the frolickers were invited into the crew area to finish what they had started.

Had they called it quits after the romp, future passengers may have enjoyed the same treatment. But, there’s always someone to ruin it for the rest of us.

The passenger, who is an American doctor in his 20s, used the internet for its intended purpose: he posted pictures of himself proving that he left the skies a bit friendlier than he found them. Boredom drove him to stretch the rules, and it’s pretty clear that a lust for fame led to his 15 minutes on the internet. The encounter was aided by a crew member, “Alvin,” who the passenger knew.

I guess you could say it was an “inside job.”

Model’s boyfriend puts the “bang” in Bangalore

It always starts with a drunken model. Always. Cover girl Sarah Hannon was beyond furious when awaking to find her boyfriend, Daniel Melia, engaged in a “sex act” with the woman next to him. It sounds like he had a middle seat and liked it!

Hannon fell asleep on a nine-hour flight from Bangalore to London, as anyone would hope to do on such a long flight. Oh, and having bent elbows with boyfriend certainly helped. Melia’s libido, however, resisted the powers of both fatigue and alcohol, and next seat neighbor, Clare Irby, was happy to help him out.

The alleged performance occurred under a blanket, and Melia and Irby thought nobody was the wiser … until a flight attendant stopped them, impeding pleasure and likely ending a show for many passengers bored with the in-flight movie. This is when Hannon woke up and Hannon started screaming.

The model was furious and had to be calmed by the flight crew. When Kingfisher Airlines Flight IT001 touched down at Heathrow, police boarded the plane and arrested all three. Melia and Irby were pinched for alleged indecency, while Hannon was nabbed for being drunk on an aircraft. All three made bail.

The local cops had little to say but got it right: “They certainly put the bang into Bangalore.”

[Via news.com.au]