10 tips for traveling as a couple – and not breaking up

Traveling together for the first time as a couple can be a make-or-break experience. You can learn more about a person on a two-day trip than you can in a few weeks of dating.

When you travel with someone, you quickly figure out how he interacts with other cultures, how she manages money, how she handles stress, or how he deals with conflict when the two of you cannot escape each other. Not to mention, you’ll be privy to all those things the other person may have tried (maybe successfully) to hide from you before: she doesn’t look quite the same without her makeup on, and you do not want to go in the bathroom after he uses it first thing in the morning.

Travel can be a more intense experience than life at home, and that holds true for couples traveling together too. But, traveling with your mate can also be an enriching experience that brings the two of you closer. Here are some tips for traveling with your significant other, whether you’re planning your first trip together or have been exploring the world as a couple for some time.Start small
The length of time you spend on your trip should be directly proportionate to the amount of time you have been dating. Couples who have been together for years have a better chance of surviving long-term travel, while those who have been together for less than 12 months should stick to trips of a week to 10 days.

If you’ve only been dating a month or two, do not attempt more than a weekend jaunt for your first effort, and never plan a trip more days in advance than the amount of time you have been together. Known each other one month? I don’t care if you are in love. I still wouldn’t recommend you buy tickets for a two-week long trip for three months from now.

Pick the right location
I often hear people ask what is a good “romantic destination.” That’s the wrong question. Any destination can be romantic. Romance is more about who you are with, what you do, and your state of mind than where you are on the map. Sure, some locations are more picturesque or have more “romantic” lodging options, but that doesn’t mean they are the perfect place for you and your sweetie.

Focus more on what you want to see and do and go from there. If you get bored lying on the beach all day, you aren’t going to have a great trip, no matter how “romantic” the resort claims to be. Talk to your significant other and discuss what you each want to do and what your travel style is, and select a location based on those considerations.

Plan together
In many relationships, it seems like one person always takes the reins of planning while the other is content to be led. This can work out fine for decisions such as where to go to dinner, but when you are talking about spending several days, and possibly several hundred dollars, on a trip, both people need to contribute to the decision making. Once you’ve settled on a location, you can divvy up the planning responsibilities in one of several ways.

If one person is more of a foodie, he or she can select restaurants, while the person who is more passionate about history or art chooses which museums to visit. Another option is to alternate days when each person plans the itinerary. You’ll decided what to do on Monday; he’ll make Tuesday’s plan. The third option, and the one that works best for my husband and I, is to each make a plan based on what we want to do. Then we compare (usually finding that most of our “must-do” activities are the same) and craft a final itinerary from there.



Compromise

In the travel planning and on the trip, you have to realize that you can’t get your way all the time. When creating an itinerary that includes both what you want to do and what your significant other wants to do, you often will each have to give up a few things in order to make it work. One way my husband and I do this is to figure out how many activities, cities, or restaurants we can fit in on the trip. Then we each make a list of our top choices, filling in one from each person until we have maxed out our time. This way we each get to do the things that are most important to us.

Take time apart
For your sanity, and in order to do some things you may want to do that your mate does not, it’s important to take time apart on your trip. Whether it’s 20-30 minutes to clear your head with an early morning run on a short weekend trip, or taking off an entire afternoon of a week-long trip to visit a museum that your significant other has no interest in, spending some time apart is vital. It can help prevent you from getting frustrated with each other and having petty arguments, and it can allow you the time to do things that matter most to you. Plus, a little time apart can make you appreciate the time you spend together even more.

Talk budget before you go
Money is one of the main sources of disagreement for all couples, whether they be traveling or not. It’s easy to say, “I’m on vacation, I’ll deal with it later,” and then cry when you get your credit card bill. One member of the couple may also feel pressured to keep up with the other, which can then lead to resentment.

Before you begin booking your trip, talk openly and honestly about what you can afford and how you plan to divide the costs. Unless your finances are already shared, the best system is to set a budget and go dutch on all costs. This doesn’t have to mean splitting the check at every restaurant though. Just figure out how much you plan to spend on each expense and assign each cost to one person.

For instance, if your hotel will be $500 for five nights and the plane tickets were $250, you can pay for the flights while you mate pays for the hotel. If you’ve budgeted $100 per night for dinner, just switch off picking up the tab.

Be flexible
While I’m a firm believer in making an itinerary and planning a budget for every trip, I think it’s equally important to remain flexible. Things change. Sometimes after a long day of sightseeing, you just don’t want to go to that fancy restaurant you had selected for dinner. The day you wanted to climb the Duomo for the perfect view dawns cloudy and grey. Make a plan but plan for it to change. Always have a Plan B and Plan C and don’t let the little hiccups frustrate you. Sometimes the best things can happen when your plans fall through.

Keep a sense of humor
With precious little vacation time, sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to have the perfect trip, to enjoy every single second of it to the fullest. When that doesn’t happen, we’re crushed. But things go wrong on the road. Planes are delayed, luggage gets lost, hotels lose reservations and sometimes even the most highly recommended restaurant turns out to be a disappointment.

When bad things happen, try to keep an open mind. So a crazy Italian chef screamed at you for suggesting that the swordfish wasn’t all that fresh(as happend to me on my honeymoon), don’t let it ruin your trip. Find a way to laugh about it and you’ll end up with a better experience, and a better story to tell when you come home. So you’re hopelessly lost, it’s raining and your train leaves in an hour. The worst that happens could be that you are out a bit of money and spend an extra night in the city. Try to keep things in perspective. Remember, in most cases, the troubles you have are minor and temporary.

Make time for romance
Any trip, any restaurant, any hotel, is as romantic as you make it. When we’re running around sightseeing, trying to pack a lot into a short trip, it’s easy to forget to slow down and appreciate the time we have with the one we love. Sometimes we need to schedule romance. On even the most budget trip, find a way to do something special for your partner. Whether it be a picnic with a view, an order of breakfast in bed, a splurge meal, or just a long moonlit stroll under the lights of the city, be sure to plan at least one thoughtful surprise for your significant other.

Protect your investment
Of course you and your love are never, ever going to break up. And certainly not before your week-long trip through Napa Valley or your two-week jaunt through his ancestral land of Ireland. But…..these things do happen. I know several people who’ve lost hundreds of dollars worth of plane tickets because they were dumped right before the trip, or who suffered through an uncomfortable vacation (rather than lose the money) and broke up as soon as they got home.

Don’t let this happen to you. Make sure that your ticket cost can be refunded or that the tickets can be changed. If you need to put down a deposit, find out when the last day to get a refund is. For a trip of significant cost, look into travel insurance, which often contains a “cancel for any reason” provision that would cover heartbreak and allow you to recoup all funds if the relationship goes sour.

Think local for a low-cost wine-tasting trip

When most people think of going on a wine-tasting trip, their thoughts tend to head west – to California, Washington, and Oregon. It’s not surprising. From Napa Valley in California to Walla Walla in Washington, these states are some of the biggest producers of wine in the US. But if you don’t live in one of these states, there’s no need to venture far from home for a weekend of swirling and sipping. In fact, almost every state in the US has at least one winery, so you can enjoy a low-cost wine tasting vacation in a long weekend. Check out these wine-tasting regions in every corner of the country.

Midwest
The Midwest states have traditionally been agriculture centers. Now many farms are trading potatoes and corn for grapes, and opening their doors to tourists. Illinois is home to around 80 wineries located on six wine trails within a few hours of Chicago. Most of Michigan’s 50 or so wineries are located in the west and southwest, near Traverse City or along the coast of Lake Michigan. Even Missouri has five wine trails scattered around the state.

Northeast
New York’s Finger Lakes area is the jewel of the northeast wine region. Nearly 100 wineries are spread along three main wine trails, which surround four beautiful lakes. Not to be outdone, Maryland has almost 30 wineries open for tastings, and even tiny Rhode Island has five.

Southeast
Kentucky is now making a name for itself in the wine world, with over 30 wineries clustered in the north central area of the state. Florida is home to over 15 scattered wineries and Virginia, the largest producer in the region, has nearly 150 wineries on several easy to follow trails.

West/Southwest
Grapes in Arizona? Yep, there are over 20 wineries in the state, most just south of Tuscon. New Mexico has almost 40, most of which are clustered around Albuquerque and Taos, and Texas is home to over 80 wineries, predominantly in Hill Country, south of Austin. Colorado, which has over 60 wineries, boasts the highest grape-growing elevation in the country, and even Nebraska has more than 30 wine producers operating in the state.

Eco-Friendly HALL Wines Earns Gold LEED Certification

The first time I tasted HALL Cabernet Sauvignon, I will nibbling a cheese plate bar side at Fleming’s Steakhouse and Wine Bar. After asking our bartender sommelier for his recommendation for a big, hearty red, he poured me a taste of the 2005 HALL Cab. Is that black cherry I’m getting? Or perhaps a little oak mixed with leather and currants? I’m certainly no wine expert, unless you consider drinking lots of the stuff a special skill, yet even I could tell there was something very special about this wine.

HALL wines, which has two wineries, one in St. Helena, California and the other in Rutherford, has not only received exceptional scoring for many of its wines, including 97 points from Wine Enthusiast for the 2006 HALL “Exzellenz” Cabernet Sauvignon, but has just received the prestigious LEED® (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) Gold Certification for its Napa St. Helena location making HALL the first winery in California to earn this designation.

With state-of-the-art facilities, including many sustainable design elements such as radiant flooring, solar energy, as well as usage of recycled and local building materials, HALL is leading the industry when it comes to working to solve environmental challenges. Owner Kathryn Hall, whose family has been growing grapes in California since 1972, along with her husband Craig, have made it their personal mission to leave minimal carbon footprints when it comes to the art of great winemaking, establishing them as leaders in environmental preservation.

As Kathryn herself puts it, “At HALL wines, we grow our own grapes and craft our wines, and so we are obligated to ensure the health of the land, as well as that of the greater Napa Valley ecosystem.” Keeping in mind that HALL’s grapes encompass over 500 acres, this is both a great commitment and an accomplishment.

Visitors to the winery can get an up-close-and-personal look at the winery’s dedication to the environment with complimentary LEED® tours being offered each day through the end of August. For those who are unable to make a trip to the winery, visiting HALL online offers a firsthand glimpse (with videos) into the LEED® certification process led by owner Kathryn Hall along with President Mike Reynolds and architect Jarrod Denton.

Yet, for a true taste of what HALL has to offer, both for sustainable wine growing practices as well as the palate, I encourage you to get a bottle for yourself (which can be purchased on HALL’s website or at a variety of wine shops). And, don’t worry, you don’t need to be an expert in order to properly enjoy a glass of their award-winning wines, but it would behoove you to join Kathryn in her vision of an environment supported by earth-friendly wine production.

–Kendra

Five quick trip splurges to take with the Amazing Race’s million dollar win

Now that Victor and Tammy have discovered that they get along with each other quite nicely, AND they’ve won the million dollar prize on Amazing Race 14, they could pool their resources for some dandy vacations and have plenty of money left over for two houses and the stock market. This is the time to buy. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

Let’s say that Victor and Tammy only have a few days to squeeze in between their Amazing Race trip wins– considering that they came in first place five times and won trips for most of their Pit Stop triumphs. Just in case they are stumped about where else to go, I’ve thought of five places I’d head to in the U.S. if I were them. It doesn’t hurt to dream a little. Stay tuned for where I’d go in the world.

  • New York, New York: Spend three nights at the Plaza Hotel overlooking Fifth Avenue in New York City. For the summer, if you book two nights, the third is free. To add to the luxury, stay in the 2 Bedroom Suite with 5th Ave view Dining, 2 baths, butler service and a pantry. For the two nights that’ll be $7,000, not including tax and gratuity. Still that leaves a lot of moola for New York City fun.
  • Yountville, California: Dine at the French Laundry in Napa Valley, California. Ever since I read about Scott Haas’s experience dining here in his book Are We There Yet?, I’ve been salivating. Each day there are two new nine-course tasting menus. Haas spent more than $400.00 for his family of four. The tasting menu is $240 a person. Here’s today’s. Yum! Where to stay suggestion: Yountville Inn. There’s a Superior Room with two queen-size beds with breakfast included and complimentary wine tasting. Napa Valley would be a wonderful place for some R&R to celebrate a race.
  • Ogunquit, Maine: One of the first places I went on a solo adventure was Ogunquit. I didn’t stay, but visited a friend who was working there at a resort hotel. It was gorgeous. The Juniper Hill Inn is a beach front property within walking distance to the historic downtown and the Marginal Way, the path that leads to Perkins Cove. With a two-night stay you can get the Theater Package that includes two tickets to John Lane’s Ogunquit Playhouse, a summer theater outing. The most expensive rooms are less than $250 so there’s plenty of chump change for lobster and steamed clams to dip in butter. For the best of the best, MC Perkins Cove has a menu that’s sublime.
  • New Orleans, Louisiana: Whatever else Tammy & Victor decide to do in New Orleans, they need to eat breakfast at Brennan’s. I did that once, and it’s an experience not to forget. There are also many options for Creole style fine-dining, and a city that has a personality like no others. For slumber, my dreams point to a deluxe King room at The Avenue Garden Hotel in the Garden District. For $124 a night for a King bed Deluxe room, Tammy and Victor can certainly afford a room each.
  • Santa Fe, New Mexico: Friends of mine once said that said Santa Fe is the only place they’ve been that makes them feel like shopping. Seriously, this is probably the most aesthetically pleasing city in the U.S. My hands down favorite thing to do there besides linger at the Museum of International Folk Art is spend a couple hours at Ten Thousand Waves, a Japanese style spa and retreat center. La Fonda Hotel on the Plaza has a gorgeous restaurant, La Plazuela with superb eats. For luxury, the hotel has La Terreza rooms and suites on the top floor that includes a roof top patio. A suite is $595.

Top 10 wine spots, none in U.S.

I realize that, on the world stage, our homeland isn’t exactly the most popular place right now. Part of it stems from eight years of political buffoonery, and a healthy dose comes from traditional “old world” bias against the United States. Like most of us, I’ve learned to adjust for a touch of this when I read international news coverage. To a certain extent, I understand it … we’re more like France than we realize. But, it’s tough when our country doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

This is especially the case for wine.

In an article detailing the top 10 wine spots in the world, Forbes deemed none in the United States worthy of the list.

1. Castello Banfi, Tuscany, Italy: not an adventurous pick for the top spot
2. Montes, Colchagua Valley, Chile: trying to seem enlightened, succeeds
3. Ken Forrester, Stellenbosch, South Africa: see #2, with the same results
4. Fournier, Mendoza, Argentina: doubling up on South America in the top five? Trying too hard …
5. Leeuwin Estate, Margaret River, Australia: could call for the middle of the pack
6. Felton Road, Central Otago, New Zealand: again with the doubling up …
7. Bodegas Ysios, Rioja, Spain: classic location, should probably be higher
8. Quinta do Portal, Douro Valley, Portugal: this would have been more exciting at #3 or #4
9. Chateau Lynch-Bages, Bordeaux, France: obligatory, but at #9?
10. Peter Jakob Kuhn Oestrich, Rhein/Mosel, Germany: obviously added to the list out of a sense of obligation

And, where are we? No Sonoma? No Napa? Or, a break from the norm with Oregon?

The collection of wine destinations seems to a certain extent like a Little League awards banquet. No country is on the list twice, giving the impression that the reporter sought to dish out as many trophies as possible. The wide reach, of course, makes those absent even more evident.

As you can see, the list is more likely the result of a careful analysis of balancing out different regions and meeting reader expectations than it is a genuine reflection on the most interesting wine destinations in the world.

This is why I hate “listicles”: they have less to do with the content than they do with managing perception. Blech.