Five ways to beat the competition to the overhead bin

There’s nothing so gauche as to stick your carry-on into an overhead bin far ahead of your seat, grab a book or magazine from it and walk 17 rows back to your seat. Because, whether you know it (or give a damn), one of the passengers sitting under your bag may not have a place to put his. Then, when the plane settles in at the gate, he’ll try to shove his way to the back of the plane (where he was forced to stow his stuff) while everyone else is moving the other way. It’s a recipe for disaster.

And, it’s getting worse.

Airlines have had to cope with shrinking budgets, thanks to a dismal travel market, and that means making cuts. So, when there isn’t another pill water, peanut or blanket to chop, the airlines have to take away the planes themselves. Airline capacity is falling almost across the board this year, making planes more crowded. That translates to fuller overhead bins. The other airline money-making scheme – charging fees for extra baggage – has also cramped the cabin. Passengers are hoping to dodge the extra cost, even though it is modest.

When there’s an airline problem, of course, Congress rushes to devise some sort of solution – an obvious move given the track record legislators have had “fixing” the industry. The latest move appears to be an effort to limit and standardize carry-on sizes across airlines, with the TSA enforcing the rule at checkpoints. What will this accomplish? Well, your security wait just got longer. Not only will they have more work to do, but you’ll have the joy of waiting behind 27 people who all need to argue with the TSA employee about how the new rule is bullshit.

Until Congress comes in and accomplishes nothing, what matters most are strategies for making sure you can get as much of your stuff as possible into the overhead bins, especially if you want to keep some foot space under the seat in front of you. Here are five ways to make the whole process easier.

1. Board early
Chance favors the prepared. Get onto the plane as soon as you can. If you have elite status, use it. Linger by the gate to wait for your zone to be called. Then, strike when the announcement is made.

2. Be honest
You could become a scumbag and toss your carry-ons into the first overhead bins you see … or you could play it straight and put your bags in the appropriate bin. Become a part of the solution, not the problem.

3. Consolidate
Don’t carry too many carry-ons, and if you do max out the gear you can tow, bite the bullet and stick some of it under the seat in front of you.

4. Gate-check
You’ll have to wait a little longer for your bags, but it isn’t nearly as bad as having to linger by the carousel. This is as close to a win-win as you’ll find in the hell we call air travel.

5. Deal with checked luggage
Sometimes, you’re going to have to suck it up and check your damned bags. Don’t try to fight with the flight attendant or gate agent over size or amount. You’ll only delay the process … especially if the flight attendant has to announce that some of the bags in overhead bins will need to be checked. Don’t push the envelope, and learn to live with the rules.

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Bag too big? Check with Congress

Every carry-on could become a federal case, so to speak. Rep. Dan Lipinski, D-IL, has proposed legislation that would cap the size of each carry-on. Right now, airlines are left to their own devices, leading to a bit of confusion for fliers who use several carriers throughout the year. Since a de facto industry standard hasn’t emerged, Lipinski feels it’s a job for the folks in Washington.

Lipinski is quoted in USA Today as saying, “It’s clear if anything is going to be done, it’s going to take an act of Congress to do it.” The airlines aren’t enforcing the restrictions that they’ve enacted, he continues.

As with anything regarding Congress – and, for that matter, airlines – the public is divided. Supporters are glad to see a proposal that would keep oversized bags out of overhead spaces, seeing it as a safety measure or simply an increase in available space (they fill up quickly with large bags). Of course, on any flight, you’ll find people on the other side, passengers who refuse to check luggage and would cram a compact car into the overhead bin if they could.

Available space in the overhead compartments has become a problem recently. With airlines cutting flights in an effort to reduce costs, the remaining flights are becoming more crowded – as are the storage spaces.

The Air Transport Association, an industry trade group, doesn’t see overhead storage spaces as a matter for Congress. Instead, he believes it should be left to the airlines to decide.

Galley Gossip: Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #4 – Turn around, go that way!

“Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard,” I say, and I say this as I’m standing between first class and coach while passengers board the airplane and slowly make their way down the aisle. That’s when I spot you standing at your row with your bag sitting on an aisle seat as you stare up at the overhead bin, a full overhead bin, and shake your head.

“Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard,” I say, as you continue staring into the full overhead bin above your seat, and as you stare, still shaking your head, I already know what you’re going to say before you even say it, and while I wait for you to say it, I continue to greet the passengers during the boarding process. “Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard.”

Though I can’t make out the words, I see you’re talking to those seated around you, pointing aggressively at your seat, at the overhead bin, back at your seat again, and as you begin to make a scene, a very loud one, you turn and look at me.

“Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard,” I say, and as I say this, I’m thinking to myself, here we go, and I’m wondering, as I’ve wondered thousands of times before, why you can’t just turn around and put the bag inside the empty overhead bin behind you, the one located three rows back. You see it. I see it. We all see it. So why don’t you use it? You can use it, ya know.

Waving your hands in the air at me, you say, “Excuse me, Miss! Can you help me!”

Of course. I slide in behind a passenger and slowly make my way down the aisle. You look very concerned, so I smile at you, but you don’t smile back. You never do. Now this is about to go one of three ways, depending on how often you fly…

YOU RARELY FLY: “There are bags in MY overhead bin!”

YOU FLY A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR: “Can you help me find a place for my bag?”

YOU’RE A FREQUENT FLIER: “Can I put my bag up there?” (pointing to first class)

ME: “I’m sorry,” I always say, no matter how often you fly, because I am, truly, sorry – sorry I have to say sorry all day long! “But you’re going to have to use the bin three rows back.” I point at the bin. “I’d grab it quick before someone else does.” Now the next thing I’m going to say depends on how often you fly, and usually goes something like this..

YOU RARELY FLY: Look, I know it’s frustrating when the overhead bin above your seat is full, but the overhead bin space is shared space. That means anyone can use it. You. Him. Her. Everyone. Yes, you bought the seat below the bin, but you did not buy the bin.

YOU FLY A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR: If I could move some things around I would, but the bin is completely full already and there’s no way your bag is going to fit. I know it’s not fair! Particularly if you’ve only brought on-board one small bag, which I see is the case, but I can’t go POOF and make all the other bags disappear now can I?

YOU’RE A FREQUENT FLIER: There’s no need to show me your frequent flier card. Trust me, I already know you’re a VIP, which is why you’re sitting in the bulkhead row in the first place. You know as well as I do that first class is full (or else you’d be sitting there) and I can’t let you use that empty bin, not when we’re still waiting for a few first class passengers to board. Now I’m pretty sure you already know why, but since you’re still arguing with me I’ll spell it out. Because when you spend that kind of money to sit in first class, like you normally do, you expect to find an empty bin when you come on-board, too.

Ridiculous, my least favorite word a passenger can say, has just been used, and as that word is spat at me I see something happen that I knew was going to happen. Someone has just thrown their bags, two of them, into the empty overhead bin three rows back.

Now it is I who shakes my head, because you, dear passenger, will have to walk five rows back to get your bag into a bin, and as I tell you this, I continue shaking my head, and of course I add the word, “Sorry.” I’m always sorry.

“I’ll hold up the airplane when we land in order to get my bag out of the overhead bin five rows back!” exclaimed a passenger, a passenger who is also MY HUSBAND, a frequent flier I met on an airplane, after I had told him about what I was writing.

Completely appalled, I visualized the man I would NOT have married if I’d have seen him acting like that. “You’re kidding, right?”

Nope. He, the husband, a frequent flier I met in business class on a flight from Los Angeles to New York somewhere over Illinois, assured me he was not joking. And here I agreed to go out with the guy in the first place because I thought he was a nice passenger. Just when you think you know a person, they have to go and freak out over an overhead bin.

And so…after discussing the sensitive overhead bin topic quite thoroughly with the not so nice passenger / husband, I have concluded that if he had not been able to get his bag into a bin near his seat I probably would not agreed to meet him at the Starbucks located across the street from our layover hotel seven years ago. Which means we would not have had our beautiful baby boy a little over two years ago. Which means that my life, as I know it, would have turned out totally different.

“And I love my life,” I read out loud. It was the very last line of this post, and I wanted to know what the husband, who was now looking at me funny, thought.

“I never said I’d hold up the airplane!” he exclaimed, even though he most certainly did say that and I remember exactly when and where he said it – on the couch, during a commercial break at 9:15pm, two nights ago.

Okay so perhaps the man was hallucinating when I first read him this post. Or maybe he was just having a bad day. Taking it out on me and my overhead bin post. Who knows? All I know is I’m glad to he wouldn’t hold up the deplaning process in order to get his precious bag. He travels a lot. Over 100,000 miles a year. And flight attendants know he’s mine! Which means I can now go back to work and not worry about what the husband is doing on the airplane while I’m working another flight, standing between coach and first class saying, “Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard.”

Now that you’re curious about the other flight attendant pet peeves, click the following links:

Galley Gossip: Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #3: You want me to do what?

You’ve packed the bag. Actually what you did was stuff it full, and then most likely you had to sit on it while you zipped…the thing…up…there! You did it, you actually got that thing closed! You feel good, you really do, because you are not going to pay that ridiculous checked bag fee for the life of you. No freakin way!

Then you dragged that bag to the car and somehow managed to get..the bag…inside…the trunk…there! You did it, and now you’re off to the airport where you’ll have to get…the bag..out of…the trunk. Now you’re dragging that thing over to the airport shuttle bus.

Finally you’re in the terminal where you pass all those losers standing in line to check their bags. It’s your turn to go through security, so up…goes…the bag…there! It’s on the conveyor belt and slowly moving to the other side. As you wipe the sweat from your brow, you meet the bag on the other end and yank…it off…the belt. Now you’re off and running to the gate where boarding is already in process. Down the jet-bridge and onto the airplane you go, where miracle upon miracles, there’s an available overhead bin right above your seat. Now, where’s that lazy flight attendant?

“Excuse me, miss,” you say, trying to get the attention of the one and only flight attendant in the cabin who is already busy trying to re-seat a family of four together. “Can you help me get my bag into the overhead bin?”

You want me to do what?

I’m looking at a bag, a very big bag, that belongs to a passenger, a passenger that looks a lot like me, and I’m a little confused here. You’re not elderly. You’re not an unaccompanied minor. Nor are you handicapped. You packed it, and somehow you managed to get it into the car, on the bus, and through the airport. But now, for some reason, you can’t get it up into the overhead bin? The funny part is you and I both know that you knew you weren’t going to be able to do this before you even packed the bag!

Okay, you see where I’m going with this, don’t you?

Due to the fact that most bags are ROLLING onto the aircraft these days – not being carried – the bag situation has gotten a little out of control, particularly in the size and weight department, which is why, I’m sorry to tell you, I’m not going to be able to lift that enormous thing into the overhead bin for you. It’s too heavy! For both of us.

THE NUMBERS:

  • 1:50: That’s 50 passengers per flight attendant. Nowadays flights are staffed with minimum crew, which is why, in most cases, you only see one flight attendant in the cabin during boarding. The rest are either setting up the galleys, greeting at the door, or in the terminal taking tickets.
  • 1-4: Flight attendants work anywhere from one (if they’re senior enough) to four legs a day (from anywhere up to 14 hours a day)
  • 16 : The average number of days a flight attendant works a month. But ever since our pay was decreased by 30% most flight attendants are forced to work more hours and days to make up the pay. (Don’t forget, one of our days is like two of yours, and we don’t get to go home at the end of the day.)
  • 145: There are AT LEAST 145 passengers on-board our smallest aircraft – the S80. The 777 can carry anywhere from 283-368 passengers
  • Now add all that up: 1 (Flight Attendant – minimum crew, remember) X 4 (legs – the max) X 16 (days – the average) X 145 (passengers – the least amount) = an awful lot of passengers with bags that need lifting by flight attendants, resulting in an awful lot of flight attendants getting injured on duty. Not that that has anything to do with you…

What’s that? Your little one would like to visit the cockpit while we’re sitting at the gate? Certainly, come along with me, kiddo, and don’t forget your camera! You’d like something to drink? I’ll be right back with your (insert drink order here). You’d like me to help you find two seats together? No problem, I’ll see what I can do after everyone is on-board and seated. You’d like a blanket? Let me go see if I can find one. You’d like me to check on your connecting gate? I’ll call the captain right away and see if he’s gotten an update. You want to know if I can suggest a good place to eat in the airport? Oh have you asked the right person! You’d like to know the football / basketball / baseball scores? I’ll call the captain. Again. You’d like me to hold your baby while you go to the bathroom? Of course, hand that little princess to me! Maybe we’ll even go for a walk so you can have a break. You’d like me to take a picture of you and your loved one? I’d love to! You’d like to know where we are right now? Calling the Captain. Again. What, someone fainted in your row and you think they’re unconscious? I’ll grab the medical kit along with the AED and page for a doctor right away! What, there’s no doctor on-board? I’ll start CPR now!

That, in a nutshell, is my job. That’s what I’m there for. And I like being there for it. But lifting your bag into the overhead bin is not, nor has it ever been, a part of my job description, even though I work in the service industry. Oh I’ll help you find a place for your bag, no problem. Of course I’ll move things around in the bin to make room for your bag. I might even ASSIST you in lifting that bag, if it’s not too heavy,into the bin. But the key word here is assist. As in team effort. As in WE can do it together. What I won’t do is do it for you. Not unless you’re elderly, handicapped, or an unaccompanied minor. Sorry, I do what I can to avoid injuring myself and going out on disability. Hey, like you, I’ve gotta pay the bills!

“But I’ve got a bad back!” passengers often cry when I test a bag to see how heavy it is. Yeah, and so does my mother who is also a flight attendant, who has had two back surgeries that took her out of work for two years because she lifted too many bags for too many passengers who should have checked them in the first place.

Look, It’s not like you don’t know you’re too short, or too pregnant, or too frail, or your arm is too broken, or your back is too weak to lift your bag into the overhead bin before you come on-board the aircraft, right? I mean when I traveled as a passenger, I always checked my bags when I was pregnant. And I did it again when I had to hobble on-board the aircraft on crutches. And I still do it whenever I’m traveling with my son, which is pretty much once a month. It’s just the responsible thing to do.

Responsibility, is anyone responsible for anything anymore?

That’s a question I once asked Mark Matteson, a passenger on one of my flights, who in turn handed me a book, Freedom From Fear, a book he’d written, a book that actually changed my life, a book about…you guessed it…responsibility. In other words it was a book about how to change your life for the better by not being a victim and taking responsibility for the things that happen to you. Taking responsibility for oneself is something I believe in passionately, it’s a trait I admire greatly in people, and it’s a trait I’d like to pass along to my two year-old son. Taking responsibility for oneself also includes taking responsibility for ones bag, the bag the self packed and brought on-board the airplane.

Honestly, I don’t know what bothers me more, the fact that a passenger will come on-board and EXPECT me to lift their bag, or the fact that they actually get upset when I won’t lift the bag. Like I mentioned above, unless the passenger is elderly, or an unaccompanied minor, or handicapped, AND / OR is traveling with a bag that is NOT heavy, I am not touching that bag. No way! And when I do lend a hand, rest assured I’m wondering to myself why the bag wasn’t checked in the first place.

Responsibility, that’s what I’m talking about.

In Jeffrey White’s post, A note of Apology to the helpful, dedicated flight attendant out there, after he kind-of-sort-of apologized to flight attendants everywhere after scolding the Ryan Air crew for not helping a wheel-bound passenger be lifted up the stairs and onto the airplane (flight crews are not responsible, nor are they trained, to lift passengers up stairs and onto airplanes), he then went on to write, “I feel that many flight attendants won’t help you these days to the degree they used to, say, 10 years ago. As one attendant, “Ann,” puts it: “Bottom line, you pack it, you stow it. If you can’t stow it, then check it.””

And the reason flight attendants won’t help to the degree that they used to 10 years ago is because bags are now being rolled, not carried, onto the aircraft, resulting in much heavier bags. Don’t believe me? Try lifting a few.

Responsibility, it’s the word of the day, and that’s all I’m going to say.

Now go read Mark’s book!

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