Minnesota lawmaker wants to ban state workers from hotels that sell “violent” pay per view porn

by Scott Carmichael on

Minnesota Senator Tarryl Clark is sponsoring a bill that will ban state workers from using public money to stay at any hotels that sell violent pornography on their pay per view TV system.

In the bill, provisions are made for the State Department of Administration to keep a directory of approved facilities.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not entirely sure how the state plans to compile this directory. One option would be to have the hotels email or fax a monthly “menu” of their porn offerings, which would require a state worker to determine whether the porn is violent or not. Who decides whether “monster cock 12” is violent or not? That doesn’t sound like a very nice job.

Whatever happened to trusting their own workers not to order violent porn? Or perhaps the best option would be for the state to mind its own business?

Nobody is forcing anyone to watch pay per view porn when they are on the road. But most importantly, who gets to decide what is violent, and what is not? I’m not up to date on the latest trends in porn, but I’m pretty sure that even the porn industry has some limits on what they’ll sell to hotels and I doubt hotels offer anything that is so violent that it could be considered illegal.

Thankfully, the bill does offer an exception for employee’s who can’t find a porn free hotel on their journey.

%Poll-42642%

Helo pilot grounded because of in-flight porn star tryst

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Definition of good sex: you’re willing to come back for more
Definition of great sex: you’re willing to piss away your pilot’s license
Definition of unforgettable sex: “great” sex with a porn star

David Martz is stupid enough to make receiving oral sex unpleasant. How? He was videotaped(!) on the receiving end of a passenger’s lips while flying a helicopter around San Diego. If this is some flyboy version of “put out or get out,” it may have made more sense not to let the camera roll.

What the LA Times doesn’t tell you is that Martz is Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee‘s helicopter pilot … and his passenger was none other than porn star Puma Swede (link to Wikipedia, safe for work).

The National Transportation Safety Board is out for satisfaction – much like Martz, ironically – and pushed to have his license revoked. Going down over San Diego (the helicopter, not the passenger) could have led to lost lives and plenty of property damage.

According to the NTSB, the blowjob itself wasn’t the problem. Pilot and passenger were busted because the video showed both unfastening their seatbelts … apparently much more dangerous than unfastening buttons. The giver’s body blocked the receiver’s access to the controls. Puma Swede, however, says that the whole incident didn’t take long (sorry, Martz). So, maybe the safety folks are being a bit tough on the fast-shooter.

The ruling handed down deprives Martz of his license for one year, though he can appeal the NTSB decision in federal court. Before the 2005 BJ, this pilot’s license was suspended twice and revoked once. But, he stayed out of trouble until being thanked for the spin four years ago.

Believe it or not, Martz almost got away with hit. He received the aerial bliss on May 29, 2005. This year, though, the video popped up on the internet, arousing suspicion and ultimately leading to action.

After the jump, check out a YouTube-friendly version of the video that grounded Martz, and an interview with the lovely Puma Suede.

Smut bust at Sweden’s airport authority: 7 fired, 1 quit

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Sweden‘s airport authority had problems with its computer systems … caused by porn. An investigation has revealed that LFV Group employees were passing the time on adult websites while at work. Seven have been fired, and one employee quit as a result. Particularly loathsome is the fact that some of these employees accessed at least one website with child pornography.

This behavior was discovered because LFV wanted to know why its network was running slowly.

LFV doesn’t suspect coordinated activity among the employees responsible, as they worked in different facilities across Sweden. But, there is a common thread: they spent large chunks of their workdays focused on porn sites – in some cases up to 75 percent of the day.

To read about other ridiculous tales from the airport checkpoint, click the arrow in the blue triangle below and explore the gallery.

Daily deal – free (porn) movies in your hotel room!

by Scott Carmichael on

My daily deal for today is perfect for anyone who is stuck in their boring hotel room and isn’t able to get their own movies on the hotel TV.

If your hotel uses one of the more popular pay-per-view movie delivery systems, I’m going to let you in on a secret on how to get some free porn on the tube in your room (it also works on regular movies, but I mean, really, who cares?).

Grab the remote (make sure you clean it first, because someone else might have used it for the same purpose before you). Now enter the following key sequence:

VOLUME UP > VOLUME DOWN > 4 3 2 5 4 6 4 7 6 2 5 7 > ORDER > POWER OFF.

The TV may flicker a few seconds, but you’ll now be presented with a menu of diagnostic options. Select the second option (SYS_PPV test) and pick the porno flick of your choice!

The purchase will not show up on your bill, and you won’t have to explain to your boss why there is a $49.95 entry for “Lesbian Spank Inferno” on your expense report.

Porn industry disgusted by flight attendant side job

by Tom Johansmeyer on

“Look, we all have standards,” an adult entertainer familiar with the full- and part-time work of Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova told The Independent. “I think it’s disgusting that she works for Ryanair. All of us here at Biggus Dickus Productions feel really let down by her. If only she had told us she worked for them, maybe we could have done something to help her. Now, she has lost all our trust. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to do a three way.”

If you’ve seen Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, you know not to treat “Biggus Dickus” as a joke name.

While many look down their noses at the porn business, it looks like the airlines are able to give even those in the skin biz someone over which to hold a sense of superiority. Of course, the porn folks could learn a lesson in tolerance from Ryanair, which doesn’t care about Edita’s side job as “Edite Bente.”

If you’re surprised to see the porn industry claim any sort of moral high ground, don’t be. Anyone who has spent a bit of time in this business has had to listen to more than a few hours of First Amendment tirades, claims of wanting to be left alone and so on and so on and so on. Yes, it can get tedious, even though some of it is warranted. Either way, it’s pretty crazy to see the porn industry piss all over the airline business. What happened to “live and let live”?Ryanair flight attendant Schindlerova was recently outed as a part-time porn star by London tabloid The Sun. Her employer doesn’t care, and she hasn’t denied the allegations. She was also featured in the airline’s 2009 calendar, a collection of the sexiest employees that the low-cost carrier has to offer.

Her cover was blown by a pilot who somehow stumbled upon her work. Either this was an incredible coincidence, or this guy, who has not had to see his name in the press, spends a hell of a lot of time cruising the web for porn.

Julia Molony, who covered this story for The Independent, suggests, “Watch out fro the free-orgasm-with-every-flight offer on a billboard near you.” Such naïveté … does she really believe that Ryanair would give “free” anything?

Okay, through some investigative journalism on my part, I’ve been able to find some of her night job work. This is absolutely not safe for work or around children.This is not an adult website, rather it is a Czech tabloid, but do understand that they are able to push the envelope a lot farther than we can in the United States.

See our first story on Schindlerova’s erotic escapades.