Funny warning signs keep us safe/amused

by Mike Barish on

The world is a dangerous place. Or so the safety signs we encounter on our travels would have us believe. Thankfully, the same people who try to scare us away from sharp objects, deadly animals and steep cliffs also have a fantastic sense of humor. How else could you explain the fascinating amount of truly hysterical warning signs that are displayed all over the world? From my hometown of New York to the Northern Territory of Australia, I’ve seen warning signs for any number of dangerous situations and more often than not, they’ve elicited more laughter than fear.

That’s not to say that these signs don’t have merit. To the contrary, safety signs should always be followed and care should be taken whenever they are present. But, as you walk around the mouth of the active volcano or avoid the snap of the crocodiles teeth, enjoy a hearty belly laugh. Just because you’re defying death doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun doing it.

What situations are the most dangerously hysterical? Let’s take a tour of amusing safety signs from around the globe.

%Gallery-88255%Watch your hands!
Subways can be death traps. If the train doesn’t hit you, its doors will eat your rabbit paws. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!

No diving!
Cliff diving is popular from Mexico to New Zealand. But, unlike the public pool that you went to when you still wore floaties, there are no markers telling you the depth of the water. Sure, that lake at the bottom of the waterfall looks deep enough to safely welcome you after your plunge from 100 feet up, but who’s to say it’s not just shallow and murky? Maybe those rocks aren’t as soft as they look? Perhaps – and I’m just thinking out loud here – diving into a rocky abyss against the advice of a sign that uses simple mathematical symbols and disturbing images is not the best strategy. If you need an adrenaline rush that will also cool you off, try dropping the soap in the communal shower at your hostel.

Heads up!
Think airports are safe thanks to the TSA? Well, what about outside of the airport? Simply walking near a runway can be dangerous. Remember that airplanes always have the right of way. If you see one coming, best to curl up into a ball, soil yourself and apologize to your friend for the blood splatter that he’s about to get on his shirt.

Crocs aren’t just ugly shoes!

Crocodiles haven’t survived for millions of years by being idiots. They’re intelligent creatures who are as smart as they are powerful. Just because they could kill you with one bite doesn’t mean that they also couldn’t defeat you in a Mathlete competition. So, if someone spent an afternoon frantically scribbling a sign alerting you that there are crocodiles stalking boats and people, you damn well better listen to that warning. Because if a crocodile wants to find you, it will. And by the time you look at the caller ID on your phone and see that the croc is calling from inside the house, it’s too late.

Slippery when wet!
Achtung! Slip and falls are all too common and result in everything from sprained ankles to concussions to permanent death. If a sign tells you to avoid slipping into a swirling black hole that may lead to Hell and/or a netherworld, best to heed its warning.

I could go on and on, but perhaps you should just check out our gallery of warning signs to properly understand the dangers that loom all around. As you travel the world, please do obey all safety signs…and have a blast doing it!

Five sexy ways to carry your valuables safely

by Annie Scott on

We all want to be safe when we travel. It’s a given. Crime on the road is almost always unexpected and can really mess up your trip. There are some situations we simply can’t prepare for (Godzilla, for example, or the Spanish Inquisition), but we can be smart about what we wear and how we carry our valuables.

Safety-wear is a dangerous can of worms for the fashionably inclined. I am not someone who can handle wearing a fanny pack (or “bum bag” for those of you who are British and appalled that I said “fanny”). I don’t like things that are too bulky and I completely disapprove of anything that is aggressively “anti-theft;” it usually means “heavy” and “ugly.” One should not have to sacrifice their sense of style for safety.

There’s good news: one does not. Here are five sexy ways to carry your valuables safely:

Money belt
“That’s not sexy!” you might proclaim. There was a time when I would have agreed with you. However, this was before I discovered the secret joy of the money belt: put it under your clothes and pull it tight. It shrinks your waist or flattens your stomach; it basically does everything Spanx would if you bothered wearing them while traveling. Be careful you don’t pull too tight or you’ll have an uncomfortable breathing situation which could lead to friction burns, and make sure the clothes you wear over it are skimming, not form-fitting. Most importantly, make sure you position it so you can get to it without disrobing publicly. That will invite a different kind of crime.

Thigh sheath
The thigh sheath is arguably the sexiest way to carry your valuables. Scott reviewed the PortaPocket, and I’m into that, but I like the sexy lambskin Wallet with Garters above ($19.95, and yes, it comes in other colors), or for vegans, the ruggedness of the Medical Trauma Thigh Pouch in “Coyote Tan” ($89.95). It calls forth images of video game and film heroines. Plus, if someone’s stealing from a pouch on the inside of your thigh, you’re going to notice. I recommend wearing it under a dress or skirt for full concealment.Bag that zips
I will always argue that a fanny pack doesn’t make you safer; it makes you look like a tourist. Don’t buy one. Backpacks can be easy to pickpocket, as can most tote bags. Stick with messenger bags and purses that zip for carrying valuables. Even a bag that zips can be a liability in a loud place, as you won’t hear a gentle pickpocketer. Another common trick: someone will start a conversation with you to distract you from their friend, who is quickly digging for your wallet. You best bet is to keep your bag zipped and hold it under your arm so that you can see the zipper pull at all times. Don’t bother putting things in the outside pockets unless you’re willing to lose them.

Tilley hat
Tilley hats are pretty darn cool looking. Flip through the gallery in Serious traveling hats and you’re likely to find something you like. As an added bonus, each one has a hidden compartment right on top of the head. That’s a good place for your stuff.

Secret pockets
And, speaking of hidden compartments, one safety feature many stylish garments already include is the secret pocket. You’ll find these in perfectly respectable (even sexy!) coats, on the inner rims of some shorts and all over the place on ScotteVest products, including fashionable jackets and form-fitting pullovers. When you’re packing, choose the item with the secret pocket over the item without, and you may find yourself freed from carrying a bag in some situations — and much safer than you would be if you had your wallet and phone in your back pocket.

I mean, even if you don’t get pickpocketed, I hear about a lot of things ending up in the toilet that way.

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Stranded snowboarder burns cash to stay alive

by Annie Scott on

How’s this for a horror story? A solo German snowboarder was taking a ski lift down a mountain in the Hochzillertal resort area of the Austrian Alps at 4:00 PM when, while he was at 10 meters above the ground, it was shut down for the day.

Dominik Podolsky, a 22-year-old from Munich, didn’t have a mobile phone, no one could hear him yell and he was facing temperatures of 0°F. “I thought about jumping down but then I’d have probably broken both legs and would have frozen to death,” the brave young man told reporters.

As the hours dragged on and the temperature continued dropping, Podolsky tried to stave off hypothermia by tensing his muscles and keeping his hands in his armpits, but he couldn’t stay warm — and he kept falling asleep. Finally, he thought to burn the contents of his wallet with his cigarette lighter for just a little extra heat. Once the napkins, bills and business cards were gone, he had no choice but to burn cash.

He burned some 100 euros, and when he was down to his very last 20 euro note, a snowcat driver spotted him at last and sent for help. It was 10:30 PM when Podolsky was rescued and taken to the hospital for immediate hypothermia treatment. Spiegel Online reports, “He said he may sue the lift operator for failing to check the lift after shutting it down. But a spokesman for the company said it wasn’t meant for downward trips, and that Podolsky must have ignored warning signs and barriers to get on.”

Bring a tire repair kit – Road trip tip

by Gadling Staff on

A nighttime flat tire miles from the nearest town might make a good story later, but in the middle of a road trip, it spells stress. Be prepared with everything you need to fix a flat.

Auto supply retailers carry kits with patches, plugs, adhesive and a file to roughen the tire rubber to help the patch adhere. Bring along two cans of a flat-repair product to fill the tire.

In case of a flat: examine the tire and patch any injury. Use your trip-saving flat-repair can to inflate and seal the tire so you can drive to a safer location to change it.

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Plane Answers: The Frontline episode regional airlines don’t want you to see

by Kent Wien on

I’ve always been a big fan of PBS’s Frontline. It’s obvious that they study a subject before they report on it. And as any pilot knows, that can be a rarity in the often hyped television coverage of the airline industry.

Frontline has tackled specific airline subjects in the past and I’ve always found them to be accurate and insightful. I’m looking forward to the episode tonight called “Flying Cheap” that may just expose the disparity in pay and working conditions at the regional airlines.

Major airlines have long used separate carriers as a firewall of deniability while playing them off each other to secure the lowest bid. They control the scheduling of these companies, but leave the maintenance and operational responsibility to the regional.

A few carriers, such as Delta and American wholly own and have control over their regionals, but they still contract with other small airlines to some extent.

After the response from last week’s Plane Answers about the NTSB reaction to the Colgan 3407 accident in Buffalo, it will be interesting to see if this PBS Frontline episode spurs enough public interest to cause some changes. PBS has provided an eleven minute excerpt below of the show that may give you an idea of what direction the program is taking tonight.
From the Frontline press release:

In “Flying Cheap,” FRONTLINE investigates the deadly airline crash of Continental 3407 in Buffalo, NY, and what the crash reveals about dramatic changes in the airline industry. The rise of the regionals and arrival of low-cost carriers have been a huge boon to consumers, and the industry insists that the skies remain safe. But many insiders are worried that now, 30 years after airline deregulation, the aviation system is being stretched beyond its capacity to deliver service that is both cheap and safe.

Frontline examines the rise of low-cost regional carriers-who now account for more than half of all domestic US flights-and asks: Is the aviation system being stretched beyond its capacity to deliver cheap, safe service? Watch on air and online beginning Tuesday, February 9 at 9 p.m. on PBS (check local listings).

In the eleven minute excerpt from tonights program, there’s a gem of a quote from Roger Cohen of the Regional Airline Association, the group that lobbies on behalf of these smaller carriers involved in code sharing.

When confronted with the low pay and how it represents an untenable economic position for the junior pilots, Roger, who looks like he recently came back from an extended Caribbean vacation, defends regional pilot pay with this:

“I just checked the web this morning-you can get a hotel room near the Newark airport for $50 a night.” He proudly claims.

Roger doesn’t realize that, at $21,000, this would represent between 20% of a line-holder and 50% of a reserve pilot’s potential take-home pay. At these rates, even a crash pad looks too expensive and the crew lounge becomes far more tempting.

I had to run some numbers. On a typical one hour and fifteen minute flight, a Dash 8 burns $2,900 worth of fuel. A copilot in his fifth year at Colgan earns $29 an hour, or $36.25 on that flight. (Source: Airlinepilotcentral.com) Maybe it’s time to rethink that pay scale. Management doesn’t realize that if they gave this pilot the tools (and incentive) to fly just 1% more efficiently, they could nearly double that copilot’s salary.

But that just touches on pay. Be sure to watch the excerpt below to catch a VP of operations at a regional that comes up with an innovative way to falsify records in order to get a pilot to fly past his FAA mandated sixteen hour duty day:

While not every regional airline pilot earns these kind of wages or flies with this kind of pressure, tonight’s episode just might highlight a few companies that have been driving the pay and working conditions lower for much of the industry. Every pilot I know will be watching. But maybe passengers should take a look at this, as well.

UPDATE:

PBS has posted the entire Frontline episode, “Flying Cheap” online to view here.

Do you have a question about something related to the pointy end of an airplane? Ask Kent and maybe he’ll use it for the next Plane Answer’s Plane Answers. Check out his other blog, Cockpit Chronicles and travel along with him at work. Twitter @veryjr