TSA snags child’s Christmas present: Think like TSA when packing your carry on

by Jamie Rhein on

Think like TSA when you pack your Christmas presents for your flight home. If you don’t think like TSA, your child may end up losing a gift. It almost happened to us.

In the past, I have said goodbye to a full bottle of suntan lotion and a corkscrew with a knife attached. Those were not fun to lose, but these were items that ended up in our carry on bag as we hurried. I’ve known about snow globes for awhile so I never would forget about one of those.

Still, to not be like me, don’t pack in a hurry. Sift through that carry on bag one more time. Don’t think logically; think like TSA. Items that may seem harmless to you can cause TSA’s warning bells to ring. This summer, as Scott posted, one boy lost a Star Wars toy from Disneyland at a security checkpoint.

In general, when it comes to TSA’s warning bells, I’m not one to argue, but when it came to one of my son’s Christmas presents, I went head to head with Mr. TSA Man. I tried to stay polite even though I was mad enough I could have spit.

Here’s how it went down and who won. Will a certain present be under the tree this year?

As a last minute shopping trip the day we flew out of the airport in Albuquerque, New Mexico this summer, I headed to the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center and my favorite gift shop. There, among other things, I bought a hand-painted, flimsy bow and arrow set for my son for a Christmas present.

Because both could be easily snapped in two–the arrow was more of a stick really with merely a suggestion of a tip, I decided to keep the set in the shopping bag and use the bag as a carry on. I had “toy” on the brain. I did not have my TSA thinking cap turned on.

As soon as Mr. TSA saw the bow and arrow through the monitor of the X-ray machine, he saw weapon. Of course he would. He’s TSA Man.

TSA Man pulled the bow and arrow out of the bag.

“It’s a child’s toy.” I tried to be reasonable in my tone.

TSA Man said, “It’s a bow and arrow.”

By this time the bow and arrow was on the counter in plain sight. My son looked happy to see it. “Is that for me?” he said. There went a Christmas surprise.

“Could you remove the arrow so we could take the bow?” I asked TSA man, thinking this might be a solution to keep us both satisfied. I really liked the bow.

“No,” said TSA man.

“Why not?” By this time, TSA man was really getting on my nerves. I was trying to be helpful. He didn’t seem to care that he ruined a perfectly good Christmas present that I wouldn’t find anywhere else.

TSA Man: “Because it’s a bow and arrow.”

At this point, I may have said “That’s dumb.” I did say, “If you take off the arrow, wouldn’t it be just a bow?”

“No,” he said. “It’s still a bow and arrow.”

Recognizing the futility of the power of logic, I said, “Then I’ll check it.”

I had a carry on that the set would fit in and I’m stubborn.

I reached for the bow and arrow.

TSA Man: “You can’t touch it. I have to carry it.”

“Fine.”

I waltzed toward the terminal door that lead out of security with my carry on and with TSA Man following close behind. He handed me the child’s bow and arrow once I was on the main terminal side of the door.

Ever polite, I did say “Thanks,” although by this time I did not sound pleasant.

The bow and arrow set made it home safely. Checking it last minute cost $15 dollars–twice as much as I paid for it. Oh, but keeping that bow and arrow set was so worth it.

This is a lesson in having a carry-on you can check if need be and enough time before your flight to do a last minute check in.

By the way, there were three wooden tomahawk toys in the shopping bag as well. I guess tomahawks aren’t weapons.

The bow and arrow set is not going under the Christmas tree. My son already has it.

When you are packing, remember to think, what would TSA man think about this? If you’re not sure, check out this list of prohibited items from the TSA website. Also, here’s the information about traveling with food and gifts.

Greyhound travel: The imperfect lover. Reality, the Twilight Zone and being jilted

by Jamie Rhein on

I’m fond of Greyhound bus travel. I like the idea of humanity rolling along on a highway. I like bus people. As one bus ticket seller once told me at the station in Columbus, Ohio as she surveyed the milling about passengers in the waiting area, “If you’re hard up and you need money, anyone of these people will help you out.”

Bus people have a certain air of resignation and quiet about them. Their expectations are low. They know getting where they are going will take time so why fuss? Bus people feel as comfortable as a favorite broken in, but not broken down shoe.

On a Greyhound bus, there are just the driver and the passengers. The driver lays down the rules: No smoking of anything; no drinking; no swearing; no loud talking; no cell phones ringing, and if you make a call, keep it down. If you break the cussing, smoking and drinking rules, you’ll find yourself off the bus and in a load of trouble.

The passengers, for the most part, don’t give grief and everyone is equal. No one is better than anyone else on the bus. The driver is accessible. You can see the driver drive. You can see where you are going. The bus doesn’t have secrets.

In general, I love Greyhound because Greyhound has treated me right even when there have been problems. Greyhound does seem like a problem magnet, however.

  • The last time I took Greyhound, the driver headed the wrong way for 70 miles when we were more than halfway to our destination. This was not an easy pill to swallow.
  • Greyhound travel can be unpredictable. The departure and arrival times seem more like suggestions. There is a reason for this. Bus travel is flexible. You can buy a bus ticket the day you want to leave without it costing you an exorbitant amount.
  • Greyhound travel can feel like heading through a jungle.
  • Greyhound travel can feel like the Twilight Zone. Finding out clear information may be a problem.
  • There are people who ride the bus who may not smell good or who take up too much room. That happens on a plane too. On a bus, though, you can change seats if the bus is not full. If it is, someone will get off at the next stop so you can switch seats. Seat hell doesn’t last that long.

With the issues Greyhound has been known to have, some customers can become very, very unhappy. Greyhound might as well be the devil incarnate as far as they are concerned.

The latest person to feel this way that I know about is Miriam. Miriam does have a sad, infuriating Greyhound tale that was described in The Consumerist. If I were Miriam, I would be spitting mad. Miriam, you see, was stood up–jilted by Greyhound. How cold is that?

As Miriam describes her left holding her dance card saga, she bought a non-refundable ticket for a bus from New Haven to Boston for a 12:05 a.m. bus. Keep in mind that this just past midnight. Her prince left her at the ball.

The prince, or in Miriam’s case, the driver didn’t make the New Haven stop. Miriam was left waiting for a bus coach that never came. When she contacted Greyhound for a refund on her ticket, she was given quite the runaround until she was finally put in contact with someone in customer service. This feat alone would have done most people in.

Miriam prevailed, but the result was not what she had hoped for. She did not meet up with a fairy godmother. Instead of a refund, she was given a voucher for the full price for another Greyhound bus ticket. She was told that because she did not have a refundable ticket, she couldn’t get a refund. The company refused to see the logic that she did not make the bus because of her doing. It was Greyhound’s fault. How can a person take a bus that jilts you? Good point.

Miriam ended up canceling her American Express charge for the ticket. In essence, she created her own refund and now is so ticked at Greyhound she will never travel Greyhound again.

As for me, I’d have taken the voucher to see what other outlandish travel story I might get under my belt. There are several other woeful Greyhound tales under the comment section of Miriam’s story. Each are as sad and sort of funny in a twisted kind of way. These are great tell-at-a-party stories. If a person doesn’t travel Greyhound every once in awhile, where would such stories come from?

Oh, that’s right. There are airplane stories. I do have my reasons for never ever ever flying United.

Flight attendant afraid of dogs, wants blind woman to move

by Jamie Rhein on

Guide dogs that people who are blind use in order to have mobility and independence are not like any other dogs. First, they know how to take up very little space if needed. They also don’t bark. They don’t bite. They don’t run around. They stay close to the person they work for, ever ready to guide and help. Unfortunately one woman found a flight attendant on Delta who didn’t know this. The attendant wanted the blind woman moved out of the bulk head seat because she didn’t want to sit next to the dog. She was afraid of the dog.

According to the report in the Consumerist, the woman with the guide dog has flown thirty times with this particular guide dog and always requests bulkhead in order to have room for the dog to sit at her feet. According to the rules established by the Americans with Disabilities Act, a guide dog is like a wheelchair so accommodations need to be made.

Sometimes requesting bulkhead works. Sometimes airlines are not helpful. Snafus happen, and then the snafus are worked out. In this case, the snafu was the flight attendant who also was sitting in a bulkhead seat. Because she is afraid of dogs, she wanted the woman moved to a regular coach seat.

See the problem? Have you ever had a hard time figuring out where you might even place your feet while sitting in a regular coach seat. Now imagine a Labrador, German Shepherd or Standard poodle at your feet. Maybe a foot rest for all three seats in the row if the other passengers AND the guide dog didn’t mind?

In the case of this woman, this guide dog and this flight attendant, a Complaint Resolution Officer was called in to help solve the problem. The resolution was that the flight attendant got a dose of dog therapy. The three shared the bulkhead with the flight attendant complaining all the while anytime it seemed that a hair on the dog was coming closer.

What I don’t understand is why the flight attendant didn’t move? Unless there were only heavy people, drunks and children on board, other pet peeves of travelers.

I have a friend with a guide dog who I have taken shopping. Most of the time I don’t even know that the dog is around and she sits at my friend’s feet in my car in transit. I have a Toyota Corolla.

Woman ends up in Sydney, Nova Scotia by mistake. She wanted Australia

by Jamie Rhein on

Okay, listen up. If you are getting on an airplane and you get an inkling that something is not quite right, that perhaps you are off course, PAY ATTENTION to that feeling and double check.

If you want to head to Sydney, Australia but something seems amiss, ASK, for heaven’s sake. Otherwise you could be like Monique Rozanes Torres Aguero who boarded an airplane in Buenos Aires, Argentina with visions of taking in the Syndney Opera House, perhaps, and trying out phrases like “G’day Mate,” only to land in another city–another Sydney, a town in Nova Scotia that does not have one tourist attraction listed on its Web site, according to this article in the Sydney Morning Herald. It does have the largest Ceilidh Fiddle in the World, though.

Ms Torres Aguero’s situation was not the first time this gaff has happened. Sydney, Nova Scotia, located on Cape Breton Island, has had other visitors unwittingly arrive at the airport expecting that they have landed Down Under.

Instead, there they are in an industrial, former coal mining town making the best of it since they are on vacation after all.

The problem that causes such errors is the drop down menu box that list airports with when you book on line. booking. Highlight the wrong airport and BAM, there you are one fine day in an unexpected place. This is kind of like Dorothy stepping out of the house in Munchkinland I would imagine.

There was a comment left on the post I wrote about a woman my mom met on a Greyhound bus who thought it only took one day to go from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Los Angeles, California. She thought she’d be in L.A. by morning.

The commenter told about one woman he met who was heading to Manchester, New Hampshire, or so she thought, but ended up in Manchester, England.

If you do ever end up in Sydney, Nova Scotia, by mistake or on purpose, it has a “beautiful island coastline” and you can use it as a springboard to a trip on the Cabot Trail, the trail followed by explorer John Cabot.

I hope there are some good restaurants at least and a decent hotel in Sydney, Nova Scotia. If you think about it, this travel story is a far better one to tell the grandkids later in life. Lots of people have the “my trip to Sydney, Australia” story. This other version gets you interviewed for a newspaper article.

Check out other troublemakers in the skies!