Prison time for man who urinated on fellow passenger

We’ve covered a lot of wacky passengers in the past. Some got drunk and grabbed the backside of the flight attendant, others got drunk and forced the plane to make an emergency landing.

But the story of Jerome Kenneth Kingzio is one of the worst I’ve seen in a long time. Once again, (too much) alcohol was involved, and when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go, we all know that feeling.

But when normal people have to relieve themselves, they use a bathroom, not a fellow passenger.

Honolulu judge Leslie Kobayashi sentenced this Saipan man to 21 days in jail for urinating on a 66 year old woman on his flight.

The poor woman who was urinated on, claims her entire vacation was spoiled, and she still suffers from emotional damage.

All I know is that if someone started urinating on me, he’d better be prepared to pee through a tube for a long, long time.

GoGirl – So girls can … go

What is this obsession with women being able to pee standing up? Other than the ability to write my name in the snow, I have not really felt like I’m missing out on anything. I have yet to catch any communicable diseases from a toilet seat. And I do actually sit on the toilet seat. There, I said it.

If you’re a hoverer, by the way, check out this story on ABC News and sit your bum down, please. The messes you people leave should be classified as terrorism.

Onto the product: This is the GoGirl. It’s a somewhat updated version of the “pee funnel” we showed you back in 2004. For example, rather than “pee funnel,” they call this a “female urination device” (or an FUD).

The GoGirl is disposable, and comes with tissue and a biodegradable baggie all in the neat little cylinder that fits in your purse or pocket. You can buy one here for $4.99 (you can also buy a t-shirt, cap, or shorts, in case you want the world to know you like to pee standing up).

GoGirl recommends their product for SkiGirl, OutdoorsyGirl, GlobalGirl, MommyGirl, CityGirl, and RoadGirl for varying reasons, but however many of those I may be? I don’t want one.

Largely because it would require me to essentially piddle into my hand. Ew. Warm. Ew.

A Canadian In Beijing: Piddly-Squat

I know squats are good for me. They’re assigned in most aerobic workouts and they’re apparently my ticket to a more shapely behind. Still, I had forgotten that I’d be practicing this movement several times a day in China.

In 2001, Lyndell and I spent five days in Hong Kong on a stopover from Sydney to Toronto. That was my first introduction to the “squat-and-pee” style latrines in Asian countries. I didn’t mind them then and I don’t mind them now.

My knees mind them.

I’m hoping that after three months of this activity, I will no longer hear the crunch of my cartilage against bone as I squat to relieve my jasmine-tea-filled bladder.

Urinating in this position is actually healthier for your body than the western toilet. I learned this many years ago and understood squatting to be better for the bladder’s optimal drainage versus sitting which doesn’t enable one’s bladder to fully empty itself. This then puts more strain on the body to relieve itself more regularly, hence keeping this organ working overtime on a perpetual basis. (This company bases its whole product on these findings. Check out this image for a good laugh!)

I must say that they take some getting used to, however. Remembering to bring your own toilet paper is a must and no paper is deposited into the holes but instead is placed in the uncovered wastebasket provided. Sometimes this can be a smelly collection and I’ve found that holding one’s breath is the best solution. All in all, I’m then working my squats AND my lungs. Surely that’s exercise!

My room at the university and most modern hotels and shopping centres also offer western-style toilets. As Beijing continues to grow and accommodate travellers, more and more western-style toilets are available. Still, the toilet paper rule applies. In this way, they are keeping miles and miles of sewers free of foreign material and just filled with organic waste.

Now if Beijing would only start a humanure project! With this massive population, I’m sure the city’s many coal-driven energy systems could be replaced by the methane, combustion or fertilization possible via human waste.

But, I won’t hold my breath for that one!