Road Trip Tips: make lodging part of the journey, not just a place to stay

by Darren Murph on

Spring’s upon us, and those summer months you’ve been desperately waiting for are nearly here (in this hemisphere, anyway). We can’t help but say that anytime is a perfect time for a road trip, but the prime months for hitting the highway are just ahead, and that leaves you precious little time to prepare. In haste, many road trippers tend to overlook, or simply brush aside, one critical aspect of their journey: lodging. For whatever reason, lodging has become more of a hassle and unsatisfying expense than anything else. Call it the empty calories of a road trip, if you will. Trust us — it doesn’t have to be that way. One of the best aspects of exploring America (or any nation, for that matter) by road is the near limitless amount of options you’ll have when looking for a place to rest your weary soul at the day’s end. Join us after the break as we explain just how vital proper lodging research is to a fulfilling road trip, and how to find yourself in a venue that’s not only close to attractions you’re after, but that integrate seamlessly into the region you find yourself in.Be a historian

So, now that you’ve settled on a destination for day 1 of your road trip (or any successive day), you’ll need to figure out where you’ll be tucking yourself in for a night of well-deserved rest. We will say that camping is always an option, and if that’s your cup of tea, we couldn’t encourage it more highly. For the purposes of this article, however, we’ll be focusing on slightly more sophisticated options — hotels and bed & breakfast venues, namely. Let’s say you’ve settled on staying somewhere in the wild, wild west of America for a few days. To get more specific, let’s focus our attention on one of the wild’s most adored locations: Deadwood, South Dakota.

Obviously, Deadwood is coated in history. Wild Bill Hickok was gunned down on the very streets that tourists from all walks of life come to visit. The old architecture still covers the town, and the gorgeous Black Hills that surround it assist in ushering you into an era that still thrives scores after the west was won. That’s fine and dandy during the day — you’ll have no issues finding a copious amount of things to do in the area while the sun’s up — but what happens when the moon sets up shop, your gambling budget is whittled down to nothing and your entire family is clamoring for a place to rest? For many, they simply wheel over to the nearest hotel with a “Vacancy” sign lit, plop down a credit card and call it a night. Essentially, the lodging is not only an unimportant part of the experience, it’s one that’s immediately forgotten once check-out time comes.

There’s a better way, and it’s to find a venue that enhances one’s stay in an area. Believe it or not, finding a place that does this is far easier than you might imagine, particularly with the Internet putting a world of knowledge just a few clicks away. If you’re in a historic town, one of the easiest ways to find a venue that ties in with the surroundings is to search for historic hotels, B&Bs, hostels, etc. Something that’ll take you back in time and give you a better grasp on where exactly you’re at. In the Deadwood region, there’s no shortage of lodging options that have been standing for decades, and by and large, few have changed. But on our recent trip to the area, we wanted to see if a modern player could integrate itself into the landscape in a way that would be transparent to the traveler. We wanted to feel as if we were in Deadwood, but with all the amenities of a hotel that opened its doors to the first guests just a few short months ago. It’s not an easy thing to accomplish — numerous hotels in the area looked markedly out of place given the aged surroundings, but The Lodge at Deadwood caught our eye.

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Built atop a hill just a mile or so outside of downtown Deadwood, this mega-hotel just screams Deadwood 2.0. Going in, we wanted to experience a venue that was Deadwood through and through, enabling us to feel as if our hotel was just as much an attraction as the region’s own Chubby Chipmunk chocolate factory (to die for, by the way). Why pay for a lodging venue that adds no value to your trip outside of providing a shower, bathroom and bed? Your road trip is likely to be one of the more memorable things you do — you might as well select a venue that’s memorable and relevant to where you’re staying, right? That’s the goal we sought to accomplish while staying at The Lodge, and in short, we felt they nailed it.

Unlike some of the historic downtown hotels, The Lodge is set just outside of town. Still surrounded by the gorgeous Black Hills, the venue was established to be all-inclusive if you’d like. There’s a full scale casino on the property, a restaurant, meeting rooms and plenty of opportunities to mingle with other travelers. The good news is that a car still isn’t required to enjoy Deadwood proper; a trolley makes its way out to the property on a regular basis, though we certainly appreciated the ample (free!) parking available given the whole “road trip” thing. We never felt detached from downtown Deadwood even though we were a mile away, and that’s precisely the point.

The design of The Lodge at Deadwood was carefully chosen; the deep wood timbers that make themselves visible are indicative of the region, and the gorgeous views continually remind you of the special place that you’re in. Unlike some of the older options in the area, though, everything here was supremely modern. From the HDTV nestled on the wall to the high quality, western-themed bedding to the deep brown / black color schemes to the exceptionally clean gaming floor, there’s little question that this place has delivered modern day touches to a place steeped in history, all without losing touch with what makes Deadwood, well, Deadwood.

Get with the times

Now, let’s say your headed to a place with just a few more locals than Deadwood. Like… Minneapolis. No question, the city positioned between NYC and LA has a deep amount of history behind it, but what makes this city so special is just how modern it is. It’s artsy, it’s edgy, it’s sophisticated, and it’s continually relevant. Regardless of whether you keep with the latest fashions and trends in your home town, you can totally get away with posing in a place like this, and let’s face it — half the fun in a road trip is doing your darnedest to become a local in as many places as possible. To that end, we sought out one of the most lauded boutique hotels in the downtown area to reside in for 24 hours, and if you’re looking to plant yourself right smack dab in the middle of everything, there’s hardly a better place to head than Le Méridien, Chambers Minneapolis.

Of course, staying at a place like this will require a larger-than-average outlay of cash, but who said city living was cheap? We’re trying to find places that integrate with the feel of the locale, remember? It only took about ten steps through the door for us to feel immediately more cosmopolitan, surrounded by downright astounding works of art (many seen in the gallery below), a gorgeous eatery and dozens of viewpoints into the city streets below. Located on Hennepin Avenue, we were able to dash our car for the evening and enjoy the best The Mill City had to offer, and honestly, your night’s stay effectively includes a pass to a modern art museum. The installations that were scattered about during our stay were nothing short of jaw-dropping, and even the LCD-based piece above the retro-styled cigarette machine demanded a few moments of your time just to take in its simplistic brilliance.

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The room itself felt like a direct reflection of the bustling, chilly city below. Adorned in white and red accents, the highlight of the room was a bathroom that included its own LCD, twin white sinks and a massive shower, the latter of which featured a rainfall head that was utterly magnificent to stand beneath. And the art doesn’t stop at the lobby; the actual shower protrudes out into the room on one side, with a coated glass that looks like a continually changing rainfall painting from the outside looking in. Again, a touch of brilliance you won’t find at your everyday chain hotel. The basket of fresh fruit was also welcoming, and the bed was undoubtedly the most comfortable I’ve personally ever slept on. Yeah, it’s $300+ a night, but at least you’ll encounter a few things that are quite literally nowhere to be found at more mundane establishments.

It’s all about the culture, man

Not in the mood for historic nor modern? You’re not quite out of luck. Another aspect to seek out when selecting a lodging venue that’ll consistently be remembered as an integral part of your trip is to find one dripping with culture. Many times, these places will indeed have been around awhile, but more often than not, they’ll be off the beaten path and of the bed & breakfast variety. One key element that B&B owners can control more readily than hotels is culture, design elements and accessories. When looking to spend a few days deep within the Black Hills of South Dakota, we stumbled upon a hundred-year old facility that had been hosting families, workers and wandering bodies for decades upon decades: the Hisega Lodge. Overlooking a babbling brook some ten miles (by road; it’s more like 40 by any other measure) from Rapid City, this warm and welcoming B&B was decorated with images from its early days and dressed up with age-appropriate furnishings by its proud new (since 2007, anyway) owners.

The Hisega Lodge has room for 22, but it’s just as intimate with only a couple. Providing a quiet respite from a long, activity-laden day on the road, we immediately forgot our cares and escaped into a world far, far away from this thing we know so well as “reality.” The inn was carefully maintained as to not remove the old world charm, and all the quirks of a century-old mountain home aided in the experience: gently creaking floors, sloping porches and unpredictable ceiling heights were all here, and all helped to make it one of the more memorable B&Bs we’ve had the opportunity to stay at. The lodge was originally built as a vacation home to be used by multiple families at once, all looking to escape to the beautiful Black Hills. Suffice it to say, it’s still succeeding in doing what it was built to do. The homemade breakfast feast was astounding in both taste and beauty, and moreover, we were made to feel like family by a couple who adore the Black Hills just as much as anyone lucky enough to meander through them.

Stop staying with no purpose

In case you’ve missed the message, there’s simply no reason to not think carefully about the places you choose to stay when you head out on the road. With a small amount of research into the history, culture and “known-fors” of a given location, you can easily find hotels, hostels, B&Bs and other lodging options that do more than simply provide a bed. Unless you’re a hardcore nomad, you’ll be sleeping somewhere reasonable each and every night of your road trip — shouldn’t you make each night count just as much as the days?

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The venues mentioned here offered complementary media stays, but the views expressed and venue choices are entirely my own; images provided by Dana Jo Photography]

Trapped in Vegas? Day trip escapes from Sin City

by Darren Murph on

If you came here looking for little-known secrets of Sin City that may actually help you stomach a place you currently loathe, you’ve come to the wrong place. Don’t get us wrong — Las Vegas is a real hoot if you’re into certain things. Things like mind-blowing shows, more live music than you can shake a stick at, gambling galore and some of the world’s best eateries. But believe it or not, Vegas isn’t the end-all destination for every traveler. It’s also not the best destination for business travelers, but as I’ve personally found with covering the Consumer Electronics Show, sometimes your job just lands you here. Thankfully, there’s loads to see and do just outside of Vegas, and if your company pays to get you into McCarran International Airport, you might as well use any available downtime to your advantage.

Despite the local government’s best efforts to clean things up in southern Nevada and make Las Vegas more of a “family friendly” destination, there’s still a good deal of unbecoming aspects that are impossible to avoid. Driving on Paradise Road and seeing glorified advertisements for call-girls isn’t exactly the greatest way to start one’s morning, and frankly, there’s only so much alcohol to be drank, cigarettes to be smoked and money to be lost. If you’ve found yourself bored with the so-called Entertainment Capital of the World, we’ve got a few drastic diversions that are all just a day trip away — all of which are markedly cheaper than indulging in yet another played-out show or overpriced restaurant. Read on if you’re dying to escape.Lake Mead National Recreation Area

Just a half hour southeast of the city lies one of Nevada’s (and Arizona’s, to be fair) greatest treasures. If driving south to north on Highways 147 and 167 — which we recently did on our road trip around America’s Southwest region — you can go from one end to the other in around an hour. Thankfully, you’ll find a plethora of pullouts, hiking trails and picnic areas along the way, which should be enough to help you make a day of things. Due to the combination of desert ecosystems in the area (and the placement of Lake Mead and Lake Mohave), you’ll come across a surprisingly varied amount of flora. You’ll also be taken aback by the miles of mountains and overall peacefulness — a far cry from the intense hustle and bustle that you just left.

Cost: $5 per vehicle (covers up to 5 consecutive days)

Valley of Fire State Park

Conveniently positioned to the west of the northernmost section of Lake Mead National Recreation Area, this park is a natural landing point for those who aren’t quite ready to fight the Vegas traffic after an already delightful morning in the desert mountains. Even if you drive straight here, it’s just an hour from the city center. An expanse of mountains and red sandstone formations are littered about, offering visitors a great chance to work on their photography skills, hike, camp or toss a blanket out and have a picnic. And let’s be honest — any of those options beat spending another day in the City of Lights, right?

Cost: $5 per vehicle entry fee

Hoover Dam

Located about 45 minutes southeast of Las Vegas, the Hoover Dam is a must-see. You’ll need to allow for lots of traffic and a potential multi-hour wait, but the reward of seeing one of the most historic hydroelectric power plants in America (if not the world) is well worth it. You’d be doing yourself a huge disservice to pass this one up if you’re already so close (and so anxious to get out).

Cost: $8 per person

Red Rock Canyon

Situated only 25 minutes northwest of the city, Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area is a world away from the high frequency Vegas atmosphere, a serene, bucolic landscape where one can jump out of the car, hike around the massive, sandstone features and drink in the sprawling views of the Keystone Thrust.

Cost: $5 per vehicle

Death Valley National Park

A National Park just a day-trip away from Las Vegas? You bet. California’s own “Land of Extremes” offers up a veritable plethora of sights. From desert landscapes to snow-spotted mountains, you’ll find numerous faces of nature just 2 hours of 45 minutes away from the city you can’t wait to evade.

Cost: $20 per vehicle (covers up to 7 consecutive days)

Mojave National Preserve

If the heat of Death Valley frightens you, maybe the sand dunes at Mojave National Preserve sound a bit more inviting. This area — which sits just 1.5 hours away in the south of California — also houses wildflowers, Joshua tree forests and a government promise of “serenity and solitude from the crowds of major metropolitan areas.” Funny — that’s exactly what you were searching for, wasn’t it?

Cost: Free!

Zion National Park

It’s nearly 3 hours away in the south of Utah, but for the early risers in attendance, that’s hardly enough to deter you from spending a day at one of America’s most gorgeous National Parks. Monolithic red rock formations and canyons that rival the best offered in northern Arizona are everywhere, and in the winter, the snow adds even more character to a place that already feels alive.

Cost: $25 per vehicle (covers up to 7 consecutive days)

Got even more time? The 5 hour drive to the infrequently visited North Rim of the Grand Canyon is a no-brainer, as is a visit to Cedar Breaks National Monument and Bryce Canyon National Park. If you’re looking to book a week’s vacation following your business trip to explore the Southwest, we admire your ability to make the most of a Vegas situation. Thankfully for you, we’ve got a guide to cover that as well.

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Why you should visit National Parks in the off-season

by Darren Murph on

So, you missed out on those fee-free weekends at the National Parks last year? Don’t sweat it — you didn’t miss much. As with anything that’s both free and open to the public, those weekends drew huge crowds. And while gratis is always nice, fighting the crowds is decidedly not. The way we see it, America’s pristine National Park system is best enjoyed with as little ambient noise as possible. After all, entering these parks gives you a chance to really connect with nature and to simply soak in some of the most beautiful regions of the country. Good luck trying to soak anything in with hordes of tourists surrounding you, kids wailing about their PSP battery dying and crowded roadways leading to the entrance.

For better or worse, most National Parks turn into circuses (or zoos, if you prefer that visual) during the warmer months. Particularly in the flagship parks (Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Zion, Great Smoky Mountains, etc.), the summer months lead to bumper-to-bumper traffic, waiting lines at scenic pulloffs, and a general sense of frustration. Call us crazy, but that doesn’t exactly sound like the ideal National Park experience.

Thankfully for you, there’s a solution. Go now.The winter months are undoubtedly the time to visit, and for a number of reasons. For starters, you’ll find fewer people around you. In essence, you get more of the park to “yourself,” with more room to explore areas that you find particularly interesting. There’s also less waiting at the entrance, no queues for snapping shots at gorgeous overlooks and no added stress. There’s also the distinct chance that you’ll see magnificent sites covered in snow, which certainly adds a touch of character to things and gives your shots a lot more color.

We recently visited the south rim of the Grand Canyon National Park, and we’d be shocked if 50 other vehicles were at the park. Generous portions were drizzled with a light dusting of snow, but all of the roads were perfectly clear and all of the trails were open for exploration. There’s also the huge benefit of being able to drive yourself up and down Hermit Road. For those unaware, Hermit Road is a seven mile stretch that bends around the south rim, and it provides stunning overlooks over a great variety of points around the canyon. You’ll feel as if you’re looking at completely different canyons when moving from pullout to pullout, and it’s a real joy to cruise at your leisure, pull off at each stop and gaze at the new angles presented to you. Here’s the kicker: it’s only open to public vehicles in December, January and February. The rest of the year, you’ll be forced to park your ride and hop on a shuttle with scads of others. Don’t get us wrong — we appreciate the green aspect of using public transportation, but having the autonomy to drive yourself really enriches the experience.

We also stopped by Arches National Park in Utah, and we were able to secure rare shots of Delicate Arch surrounded by snow. The 1.5 mile hike was also made more difficult (and in turn, entirely more fun) by forcing us to trudge through the white stuff while attempting to scout out the next trailhead. We only passed three couples on the march to the top. It felt less like following school kids in a single-file line and more like blazing our own trail up a mountain. Be honest with yourself — which option would you prefer? To contrast this, we visited Yosemite in the dead of summer last year, and even during the recession, the main highway (US 120) that crosses from east to west was jammed, and we had a much tougher time locating spots for pictures in which no people were around.

Finally, heading to National Parks in the off-season will save you big bucks on travel. Flights are typically cheaper, hotels are definitely cheaper (our 2-bedroom room at the Best Western Bryce Canyon Grand Hotel was literally 50 percent less expensive than the summer rate), and you won’t have to pay peak prices when it comes time to pick up a souvenir. If you’ve got some vacation time that you’ve been dying to burn, there’s no better time to make a National Park run than right now. These gems weren’t meant to have a theme park vibe to ’em, and all of that serenity you’ve been dreaming of will be a lot easier to find if you make the off-season your season.

[Images provided by Dana Jo Photography]

5 little-known, must-see sites on a Southwest road trip

by Darren Murph on

So, you’ve settled on the American Southwest as your next road trip destination. Congratulations — you’ve made a sound choice indeed. Picking one of America’s most storied regions to ramble around in is the easy part, but selecting the routes and spots to see is a bit more difficult. You’ve always got the obvious choices – Grand Canyon and Zion National Parks, for instance — but it’s the offbeat gems that really stick with you long after you dust off your boots, hang the cowboy hat and return the rental car.

We recently embarked on a 3,600 mile journey that crisscrossed the Southwest, touching parts of Nevada, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona and Texas. The cliché stops were nothing short of awe-inspiring, but we found five must-see areas along the way that showcased exactly what this region of the country is all about. Read on if you’re eager to get your wheels turning.

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Lake Mead National Recreation Area

When you think of beautiful sights in the south of the Silver State, you probably think of neon skyscrapers, or if we’re talking really south, the Hoover Dam. Frankly, there’s no need to fight the crowds at either. For just $5 per vehicle, the 40 or so mile drive from south to north of the park is a wild ride full of expansive views, a plethora of short (albeit rewarding) hikes and a relative lack of human life. Don’t be shocked if you find yourself atop a peak, overlooking miles of pristine desert mountains, with nary a soul in sight. If you’re looking to connect with nature (or just disconnect from the hustle and bustle of the real world), you won’t find a more stunning hour-long drive in Nevada.

Bryce Canyon City, Utah

Just a few short hours outside of desert lies a brisk, highly elevated region of Utah that few outsiders bother to explore. The minuscule town (or should we say village?) of Bryce Canyon City has but two real hotels, and one of those were constructed last May. This place truly shines in the winter; we checked in to the Bryce Canyon Grand Hotel to find an exceptionally friendly staff, a well appointed room, a steaming outdoor hot tub circled by snow and a hot breakfast that would make your local Shoney’s envious. Horseback rides overlooking Utah’s gorgeous orange rocks are but miles away, and the exceedingly underrated Bryce Canyon National Park is right next door. You’re also under two hours away from skiing at Brian Head, and better still, Scenic Byway 12 is just up the road. Speaking of…

Scenic Byway US 12

You’d be doing yourself a huge disservice by not traversing the entire 120 mile stretch of asphalt, which is known as Utah’s first all-American highway. Starting at Bryce Canyon City and terminating at Torrey, this sparsely driven gem carves through towering mountains, stunning monuments and a few towns in particular that are just oozing with character (Tropic and Escalante, if you’re wondering). We found dozens of scenic pulloffs that were impossible to pass by, and the dearth of other vehicles allowed for countless in-road snaps that truly demonstrate the magic of a road trip. For those with ample time, an off-road tested vehicle and plenty of spare gas cans, the 55.5 mile Hole-in-the-Rock Road at Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument is the preeminent “road less traveled.”

Four Corners / Scenic Byway US 163

There’s really only one way to start the southbound journey down US 163, and that’s from the east after a jaunt down to the Four Corners of America. Sure, you could cut through Utah from the north, but where’s the fun in that? Stepping foot in four states simultaneously generates a feeling of pride and joviality that we have personally never felt in any other scenario — in a sense, it’s the ultimate travel accomplishment, or at least the one that you’ll never forget to tell your grand-kids about. Shortly after you pass Bluff, UT, US 163 begins; it takes but a mile to captivate. Sandwiched on both sides by towering rocks and colossal peaks, the town of Mexican Hat (and the aptly named rock to which the place owes its moniker) is a comedic break in the otherwise solemn excursion. Monument Valley State Park, just north of the Arizona border, is a satisfying conclusion to the buildup that precedes it. A seemingly never-ending expanse of otherworldly statues dot the roadside, inviting you to rest your laurels while soaking in the untamed southwest sun.

Pecos, Texas

If you notice yourself on I-10 heading east (which you won’t, given that Interstates are strictly forbidden ’round these parts), you’ll see a billboard or two beckoning you to visit Pecos. Unlike those signs coaxing you to break for “The Thing?,” this sleepy town of under 10,000 is certainly worth a look. As the story goes, the world’s first rodeo was held here in 1883, and by the looks of it, the weekend wranglin’ is still at the height of popularity over a century later. You’ll find wildly colorful buildings lining the generally wide-open downtown, more pick-up trucks and spurs than you could ever imagine, and beyond all of that, a real, bona fide taste of Texas. Without question, the essence of Texas is still alive and well in the far west of the state. If you dreamed of tumbleweeds and dusty streets but stumbled upon meadows and metropolises when you landed in central Texas, you’ll find the authentic Lone Star vibe you’re searching for just a few hundred (lonely) miles to the west.

[Images provided by Dana Jo Photography]

Top Ten Most Badass Animals Native to the USA

by Annie Scott on

America may seem civilized to you, as you lock your door and hop on the subway or into the car, then hang around indoors all day. When you go to the zoo, there’s a disconnect. Ferocious animals seem to be things that exist behind bars. It’s easy to forget that this very country is home to some historically human-killing animals that could totally murder you in your sleep. Depending where you sleep. (But they probably won’t.)

Here’s our list of the Top Ten Most Badass Animals Native to the USA, a little about their habits, and where in the great United States you’re likely to be ambushed by one of them.

1. Polar bears. These big, beautiful beasts employ a method called “still hunting,” in which the bear sniffs out its prey’s home, then crouches by the door until the prey emerges. Then it crushes their skull. Normally, this prey is a seal, but polar bears have also hunted hunters and campers — this guy while he was sleeping in his tent (warning: graphic). Though polar bears are listed as a vulnerable species (likely to become endangered), they are still roaming Alaska. And they don’t just want Coca Cola.

2. Rattlesnakes. Normally, rattlesnakes kill small animals, but anyone who’s been to the Southwest knows: if you hear that rattle, you’d best be moving along. And by “moving along,” I mean “running for your life.” Their hemotoxic or neurotoxic (depending on the type) venom can kill you in horrendous ways, including respiratory paralysis. Check out this story from a guy who was bitten by a rattler when he was 13. Word to the wise: if the snake’s rattle gets wet, it won’t make any sound, so watch out during the rain. Rattlesnakes have been reported in many states, but keep an extra eye out in California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Texas, and New Mexico. And while you’re down there, stay away from fatally poisonous water moccasins (the world’s only semi-aquatic viper) and coral snakes, too.

3. Coyotes. Just last month, according to Telegraph.co.uk, woman in Canada was mauled and killed by two coyotes, while “hiking alone on a trail in Cape Breton Highlands National Park, in Nova Scotia.” Coyotes are typically reported in the Southwest, but have also been sighted in Illinois, Wisconsin, Oregon, New Jersey, and all over New England. You can find them living in deserts, forests, plains, or even in icy regions like Alaska. Basically, these guys (and ladies) can live almost anywhere. Their diet is 90 percent mammals, which you may have noticed you are. They’ll get you on the ground, then bite/break your neck. According to Wikipedia, coyote attacks have been increasing in California since 1998.
4. Bobcats. According to the Arizona Game and Fish Department, bobcats who attack humans are typically rabid. That means attacks are less likely, but also all the more deadly. Bobcats, though just 20-24″ tall when full grown, will sometimes stalk larger animals which they can kill and repeatedly return to to eat over time. They typically catch them sleeping on the ground and bite into their neck, chest, or the base of the skull. That’s not even fair.

5. Alligators. These guys eat mostly fish, worms, and snails and stuff, but if you get to close, they’re known to attack humans. Wikipedia reports them living in “all of Florida and Louisiana, the southern parts of Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi, coastal South and North Carolina, Eastern Texas, the southeast corner of Oklahoma and the southern tip of Arkansas.” Alligators have also been found in extreme southern Missouri along the Mississippi River during the summer months.If you’re swimming and see one approaching, you’d best get the heck out of the water. Worse still, you might be mistaken — those alligators approaching could be …

6. Crocodiles. Crocodiles have pointier-shaped jaws than the alligators’ u-shaped jaws. Either way, you should probably run. Crocodiles live mainly in Florida (within the US), and are extremely dangerous to humans. Crocodiles eat mammals like you, fish and birds, and occasionally each other. While these web-footed cannibals probably won’t be able to chase you, they are extremely adept swimmers, and normally attack before their prey even sees them.

7. Bears. Kelly Ann Walz in Pennsylvania was killed last month by her own pet black bear — her Bengal tiger and African lion left her alone. Donna Munson, a 74-year-old who liked to feed bears, was killed last August. Black bears live in 41 US states, and while they’re certainly known killers, they are not as dangerous as brown bears; especially grizzlies and Kodiaks. According to Wikipedia, there are about 32,500 brown bears in the United States, mostly in Alaska and along the Rocky Mountains. Brown bears confront you like they’d confront other bears; by growling and huffing. Then, they bite your jaw to keep you from biting back. That’s only if they feel like taking their time; they can actually just crush a human head with a single bite. Weirdly, you’re more likely to be attacked if you run — I’d love to meet anyone who stood still after being growled at by a bear.

8. Wolves. Unprovoked attacks by non-rabid wolves are rare, but do you know where they tend to attack? The crotch. According to Answers.com, “Wolves will typically attempt to disable large prey by tearing at the haunches and perineum, causing massive bleeding and loss of coordination.” They drag small prey (including children!) to a secluded spot and feast on the abdominal cavity — sometimes before they prey is even dead. Be extra wary in Northern Minnesota, the Rockies, and New Mexico.

9. Cougars. While older women in search of younger men can certainly be dangerous, I’m referring to the North American Puma concolor couguar, also known as pumas, mountain lions, or panthers. Check out a list of fatal cougar attacks in North America here. While they are mostly found in the western United States, cougars have been reportedly expanding eastward, and in 2008, a cougar migrated from South Dakota to Wisconsin, and then right down into Chicago, where it was killed by a cop in an alley. When cougars attack humans, they attempt to get their teeth between your vertabrae and into your spinal cord. I shudder just thinking about it.

10. Brown recluse spiders. Perhaps they’re not “animals,” but no list of wild things in the United States would be complete without this silent killer. Also known as violin spiders, brown recluses live mostly in the southern states — check out a map here — in terribly familiar places: anywhere dark and normally undisturbed, like a woodshed, a basement, garages, closets and even under beds. Bites are rare, but if one accidentally gets into your clothes or bedding and is pressed against your skin, you’re in trouble. The bites can lead to necrosis, which is essentially your flesh rotting right off of your body.

If you’re heading on a camping or hiking trip, keep what these animals can do to you in mind, and don’t go provoking any of the fauna. By behaving respectfully towards nature, you can greatly lessen your chances of being attacked by an animal — but if you see a brown recluse spider, call pest control.