Newest toy for the insanely wealthy – private jet with patio deck

by Scott Carmichael on

The lives of the insanely wealthy can’t be easy – you spend $10 million on a jet with a bar, and find out that all your equally rich friends did the same. So you add a bedroom with a king size bed. And they do the same. So, what could you possible order for your jet that nobody else has?

How about a sliding patio deck? Apparently the modification involves little more than converting the freight door of your BAe systems Avro Business Jet (and about $16 million).

Imagine not having to mingle with the commoners on your safari – simply find a good landing spot, open a bottle of champagne, and have your staff slide out your patio. The idea comes from the drawing tables of Design Q – a company with a history of stunning aerospace designs.

According to a BAe spokesperson, the Avro Business Jet is “built like a rhino”, and is capable of unpaved landings and ultra short takeoffs. We’ve emailed them asking for a review plane for a couple of weeks, but nobody has replied yet.

Sadly, the Range Rover pictured behind the plane won’t fit inside it, so you’ll need to hire someone to drive the damn thing anywhere you plan to fly.

The always fabulous Mary Kirby (of the Runway Girl blog) has an even better photo of the deck – which makes me want one even more.

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Space alien bangs on airplane door demanding cockpit access

by Scott Carmichael on

Every time someone goes cuckoo on a plane, they manage to come up with a new way to amuse me.

Today’s story involves a passenger on a Delta Connection flight from Helena to Sale Lake City who got up out of his seat, and started banging on the cockpit door demanding to be allowed to fly the plane.

According to flight attendants, the 32 year old Las Vegas native claimed to be a space alien, and I can only assume he wanted to fly the plane back to his home planet.

As is customary in these cases, the plane made an emergency landing (at Idaho Falls airport), where local authorities were able to remove the alien, presumably to perform scientific research on him.

Thankfully for passengers, the delay was fairly minor, and nobody was hurt. Flightaware.com has a log posted of the delay and diversion.

Authorities did not release any more specifics about the “alien”, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t be too presumptuous to assume alcohol was (once again) involved.

Alton Towers theme park offers free mullets and perms for employees

by Leigh Caldwell on

British theme park Alton Towers – the site of the 2009 Speedo ban that delighted women worldwide – is bravely trying to bring back the mullet.

The park is headed back to the 1980s to celebrate its 30th anniversary later this month.

So to give Alton Towers a more authentic 1980s feel, officials are offering employee makeovers – complete with mullet haircuts for the guys and perms for the gals.

The “business in the front, party in the back” look had its heyday around the time of the artists at a concert planned for May 23 at Alton Towers.

Rick Astley (“Never Gonna Give You Up”), Bananarama (“Cruel Summer”) and Kim Wilde (“Kids in America”) are scheduled to perform at the show, which is free with theme park admission.

Discounted early bird tickets are available online for about $38.

Making your own message in a bottle

by Sean McLachlan on

You’ve probably already heard the story of Olivier Vandewalle, a Belgian who in 1977 at the age of 14 threw a message in a bottle into the sea while sailing off the south coast of England. Lorraine Yates found it 33 years later on a beach at Swanage, England. Figuring the address Olivier included was out of date, she tracked him down on Facebook.

While 33 years is an impressive time, it’s nowhere near the Guinness World Record for a bottle being at sea. The record holder was cast adrift in 1914 and recovered 92 years later in 2006.

A message in a bottle is a romantic way to call out to the world (just ask Sting) and a fun way to kill some time on the beach, but if you want your message to last, it’s best to follow some simple rules. Olivier used a wine bottle with a cork and his father insisted he seal it with “candle grease”, by which he probably means melted wax. This is important because a cork will decay much more quickly in salt water if it isn’t protected by a wax seal. One writer suggests using a bottle with a screw cap but it’s doubtful it would stay waterproof for long as it expands and contracts with temperature changes. A cork will absorb a tiny amount of moisture and expand in the neck of the bottle to make a snug fit, which is why they’re used in the first place.

Opinions differ on how to put the message inside. When I chucked my own bottle into the sea off the coast of South Carolina back in the early 80s, I wrote the message on the outside of the rolled-up paper. I included my address (now long out of date) and a request to write me and throw the bottle back into the sea. I hoped to get a whole series of responses. That hasn’t happened and I don’t think I’ll last long enough to break the world record. On further reflection I’m thinking that if my bottle is still floating out there, the sun shining through the glass has probably made my message fade away, so it’s best to put the message on the inside of the roll of paper. Sealing the message in a plastic bag is also a good idea.

One writer suggests using a clear bottle because the message be more noticeable. Wine bottles are best because they float well and have that classic look. Gadling blogger Jamie Rhein used a wine bottle for her message and got a response.

If you want to keep your message in a bottle, here are some tips on making it look old and weathered, just like it had been in the sea for years. Or if you want a bigger craft project, make a boat out of plastic bottles.

Detroit airport cop and TSA worker accused of stealing pizza and punching clerk

by Scott Carmichael on

Ladies and gentlemen, we have two new contenders for the “dumbest TSA workers of the year” award. An airport cop and TSA worker both showed up at a Hartland Township, MI gas station to buy some booze in order to continue their buzz (which means they drove there drunk already). The two paid for the booze, then Renee Zima, the TSA officer, is accused of stealing two pieces of pizza, and leaving the store.

When the store clerk approached them demanding payment for the items, Zima flashed her TSA badge, claiming she was with Homeland Security. When the clerk tried to get their plate number, these two idiots bent the plate, then stood in front of it, blocking his view. When the clerk went back outside, Zima’s partner in crime (and off duty airport police officer) Richard Frederick punched him in the face.

The funny part is that all the effort put into covering up their license plate was completely useless, as these two smart criminals already identified themselves by paying for their booze purchase with a credit card, and I’m sure all the surveillance footage doesn’t help their case that much either.

When apprehended, Frederick claimed he punched the clerk because he felt threatened by “all the store clerks surrounding him”, even though the video clips only show one person. Both the Wayne County Airport Authority and the TSA have started an investigation into the actions. Zima has been placed on administrative leave, and Frederick has entered rehab.%Gallery-76818%