Going to the beach affords us all kind of freedoms. Just the hot sand and crashing waves can send people into spiritual abandon. That feeling is not solely internally manifested; there are genuine external freedoms we experience at the beach. Not all, but many social rules are gleefully shed when you hit seashore.
If you’re vacationing at a beach resort, many of the following un-rules apply to the pool, as well — but don’t try to get away with them inside the hotel (especially #9).
Here are Ten wondrous things you can get away with at the beach which you can’t get away with almost anywhere else.
1. Wearing nothing but underwear.
Swimming suits are basically underwear. They may be made of a different material, but wearing either to church without a cover-up is frowned upon. Furthermore, at some beaches, women can go topless — and at nude beaches, you don’t have to wear anything at all.
2. Asking strangers to rub you.
At the beach, once you have struck up a conversation, it is perfectly acceptable to ask someone (preferably on a similar tier of attractiveness) to rub sunscreen on your back. You’re not being lewd, you’re just avoiding cancer. As long as you’ve been chatting and they don’t seem weirded out by you, it’s totally cool.3. Letting it all hang out.
Regular beachgoers know that no matter how fat you feel, someone fatter than you is wearing next to nothing nearby. Let it all hang out.
4. Making art out of whatever you see.
The art of the sandcastle is widely appreciated, and it’s totally acceptable to pick up rubbish along the shore to augment your creation. Building a castle out of found objects almost anywhere else is something of a faux pas.
5. Drinking during the day.
Nobody but your mother judges you for a cooler of beer at the beach. Even if it’s only 11:00 AM. Everyone gets on with their own lives, for the most part, and even if they notice, they just assume that this is the day you’ve designated to party.
When you think about it, the act of floating is rather personal and vulnerable. You don’t lie on your back in front of clients or potential employers. At the beach, no one judges your bouyancy but you.
7. Burying the living.
Only at the beach can you bury your friends, neighbors and spouses the way you’ve wanted to all these years. Put on your best lighthearted face and enjoy the malicious act of trying to make sure they can’t move at all.
8. Eating almost naked.
Yes, you’re wearing attire on par with underwear, but you can totally still walk up to the taco truck — and chow down — publicly. If you are messy and “get a little on you,” just rinse yourself off in the water.
And, when you get out of said water, be it salty or fresh, everyone expects you to be drenched. You’ll probably leave a trail of drippage behind you. It’s cool.
There’s your house, a hotel, the airplane, and there’s the beach. There’s pretty much nowhere else you can sleep without risking arrest or at least awakening.
Just remember, anyone who tells you not to do one of these things is jealous.
[Photo credit: Annie Scott]