We get some pretty strange pitches at Gadling, many of which we’re certain no self-respecting human should ever use in the privacy of their own home, let alone while traveling through a crowded airport. Alas, some of these gems have made their way to the interwebs, for sale to real live travelers just like you. Below, you’ll find a roundup of those we’ve decided are too strange NOT to share. Buy at your own discretion.The Ostrich Pillow
Billed as a perfect napping pod, this pillow (seen above) looks like a gigantic marshmallow combined with a helmet only an alien would love. While we understand the concept (an eye mask just doesn’t cut it), we don’t understand how the wearer can breathe while face down on a desk or tray table. Also, who sleeps with their arms above their head? We may be wrong in our bewilderment here, however, as this pillow has already exceeded its $70,000 goal on Kickstarter by more than $35,000.
100 of the Best Curses & Insults: Italian
Nothing says “I’m a local” more than being able to speak the native slang. But what about when words just can’t express your annoyance? Promising to help you find the “perfect guide to verbal revenge, Godfather style,” the book “100 of the Best Curses & Insults: Italian” teaches you how to really piss off those around you with “your mother” jokes, insults to a man’s masculinity, and nasty comments to say to onlookers while dining alone. We’re sure you’ll really contribute to America’s positive overseas reputation when you use these phrases.
The Sky Rest Child Travel Pillow
Sure, we all need one more thing to cart on the plane. Why not opt for a gigantic foam pillow that makes the nonexistent concept of “legroom” disappear in its entirety? Billed as a comfortable lift for your young ones, this gigantic foam block purports to make the little ones in your life comfy while annoying the living daylights out of your seatmate on the window side.
Because the fanny pack isn’t ugly enough, we bring you the Quivver. What looks like a cross between a fanny pack, a pageant contestant’s sash and a sling is supposed to be a “handy pouch” to carry your worldly possessions while on the go. Thanks, but no. There are several iterations of this on the market, including this travel scarf, which has a similar concept but a rather better looking execution.
Upright Sleeper We all know it’s nearly impossible to sleep comfortably upright, but please, ladies and gents, put down your U-shaped travel pillows and strap on the Upright Sleeper. Resembling some sort of torture device or medical-grade neck brace, this great product promises to help you sleep on the plane by preventing your head from moving forward or back. That is, if you can even fall asleep while wearing it. Even better? The model’s haircut. His audition for “The Three Stooges” remake must have failed right before he took this gig.
The Laptop Snood-Hood Who needs a privacy shield when you can have THIS? As our buddies over at Engadget put it, this “body-laptop interface” knitted from Thneed is something that “nobody, nobody thneeds.” Although, it might single-handedly create some camaraderie in the airport, as passengers would laugh themselves into a good mood while watching somebody wear one.
What are your favorite terrible travel products? Leave links in the comments below.