Green Corn Festival Unripe

OK, because I like to practice what I
preach,
I actually drove up this weekend to see the Green Corn Festival in the Hudson Valley. Why? Because it was a
lovely summer day and I figured there’d be lots of corn and, hey, I like corn. But was there any corn? No. None to be
eaten, anyway.

 

The corn festival, it turns out, was a nauseatingly hokey waste of my $10 entrance fee (actually $20 since I took my
wife). The festival was spread out over the Philipsburg
Manor
, an old mill and manor where they interpret life in colonial days. What does that mean? It means goofy,
retarded-looking people dressed in faux colonial garb who explain how the colonists and Indians “did things” in the
kind of detail only a stamp collector or Civil War re-enactor can appreciate. In other words, I spent an hour listening
to some lady explain how corn silk baskets are made and watched a half-naked guy (pictured…although you can’t
really see that he was half naked…that’s a leather apron he’s wearing…behind it was a pair of skivvies) who looked
like Eric Idle but claimed to be Cherokee shoot arrows at a block of styrofoam. And did I mention there was no corn to
eat?

 

Oh, the things I do for this blog.