Um…. Today is Valentine’s Day. If you’re reading this looking
for suggestions, there’s really only one place your significant other
wants you to go.
Everything’s booked. You’ve screwed up. Don’t even try and call a restaurant looking
for reservations. That romantic comedy playing down the street is sold out, the only flowers left at the shop are
50 cent daisies, and the only cards at Hallmark are President’s Day greetings.
So, what are your options?
Well, there’s always a bucket of chicken from KFC and Ultimate Fighting on Pay-Per-View. Or you can get
a bunch of rocks, find a freeway overpass, and the two of you can spend the evening chucking them at cars (chicks
love this). I’ve learned that Laundromats tend to be empty on Valentine’s Day; an evening
washing dirty socks can be very romantic indeed. One of my personal favorites to really woo my date after
I’ve forgotten a terribly important holiday or anniversary, is venture down to the city dump and let her bring
back one item of her choice. Whatever her heart so desires!
So all is not lost.
Valentine’s Day can still be salvaged and, with any luck, you’ll be getting’ some lovin’
tonight thanks to quick thinking on your part. Go get ‘em loverboy!