Cruise Wedding to Destroy Quaint Town

“The place where Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married.”

By the end of today, this will be the way the small Italian town of Bracciano and its 15th-century Odescalchi Castle, will be forever described. If the townsfolk think otherwise, if they think they will ever maintain a reputation for anything else, they are sadly mistaken.

Hordes of tourists will now seek out their quaint, medieval gem, just an hour outside of Rome, and pay homage to this very strange matrimony. Traditional handicrafts will be replaced by Cruise memorabilia and tourists will lap up the stuff like parched dogs. Every store in town will claim that the Cruises visited and numerous restaurants will name dishes after the couple–Tom and Katie Risotto is already on the menu at one local eatery.

The townsfolk will initially love the increase in tourism and the subsequent revenue it will generate, but they will quickly learn to hate it. Tourists will continue arrive by the busloads and pester locals long after the couple is divorced–which, in my opinion, will be about six months from now.