Airbus, the airline manufacturer who recently brought us the world’s largest passenger jet, has stunned the world with yet another revolutionary design: the A380 ShortBus.
The ShortBus will be targeting that niche of special travelers who need just a little bit more help while flying. “While most of us find airline travel rather easy,” remarked Dieter Fluffgarten, president of Airbus, “there is most certainly a minority of those who find it an incredible challenge.”
Fluffgarten was inspired by the concept after hearing about a traveler who thought he had purchased a really cheap flight to Athens, Greece but ended up in Athens, Georgia instead. “Every day we have passengers doing incredible stupid things which endanger not only themselves, but the safety of the entire plane as well,” Fluffgarten said. “If we can capture just a small percentage of such passengers, we can expect a very profitable venture indeed.”
Analysts for Morgan Stanley agree, bumping up Airbus stock to a “Strong Buy” after recent in-flight reports of inept passengers peeing in airsickness bags, lighting matches to hide their flatulence, and touching themselves inappropriately. Now there is an alternative for such passengers, an airline that takes care of them and caters to their special needs, an airline that hands out wings to every single passenger and provides candy flavored windows to lick during the duration of the flight.