Authorities in London have prevented a terrorist attack when an alert security screener at Heathrow Airport discovered eight pounds of C4 plastic explosives hidden in a passenger’s Wonder Bra.
According to initial reports, an unidentified woman passing through security aroused suspicion with breasts that were “sort of squarish,” according to screener Lars Gunderstrom.
Ever since the arrest three years ago of shoe bomber Richard Reid, authorities have been concerned about other garment items which might be fashioned into a bomb. “Bras have been a threat for a long time now,” commented Abel Stickworthy, Director of Heathrow Security. “Security personnel have been thoroughly trained in mammary recognition and yesterday’s arrest proves this extra training works–despite all the false alarms we tend to see on flights to Los Angeles.”
In response to this new threat, the TSA has announced travel restrictions on bras. A press release issued early this morning warns, “If you’re a B cup or larger, be prepared to take if off and place it in the x-ray machine along with your shoes.”
The new regulations are expected to dramatically increase security lines across the country. To help expedite the screening process, travelers are advised to arrive early. And braless.