In a dramatic reversal of policy, American President George W. Bush announced yesterday that he is revoking the Cuban Travel Ban that has been in place for more than half a century.
“I’m not sure what all the hubbub has been about,” he remarked to reporters. “That Mark Cuban guy seems okay to me.”
The president addressed the concerns about communist accusations and assured the American public that just because Cuban has recently grown a goatee like Lenin, Trotsky, Dick Van Dyke, and other hard-line commies doesn’t mean he is a communist himself. “That would be facial profiling,” commented the President, “and we just don’t do that here, in America, the Land of the Free.”
“And besides,” he added, “my dad won the Cold War when he toppled the Great Wall of China and I think it’s about time we let bygones be gone by gone.”
Although there has been much speculation that the Cuban travel ban would never be lifted while Bush was in office and his brother remained governor of Florida, the President was quick to point out that nepotism and cronyism has had nothing to do with the decades-long ban. “Jeb tells me there’s lotsa Cubans in, uh, that place where Disneyworld is, so the guy must have a big family and they must like Disneyworld and probably go there a lot so how can they be communists?”
A surprised Mark Cuban, unaware that a travel ban even existed against him, was nonetheless thankful to the President for lifting it. “George W. called me personally to tell me the good news,” he said. “And then he asked me for some of my famous cigars.”