The Strange, Uncomfortable Silence of Naked Germans

What is it about Germans and nudity?

I’ve probably seen more naked Germans on vacation than any other nationality–on beaches, at parks, staring at me from glossy magazines in the bahnoff.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Sometimes it’s great to see naked Germans. Other times I’d rather not see a pair of pasty-white man-boobs on some chap named Gunther. But I guess that’s the same with any nationality.

Mark Schatzker, a blogger who is tramping around the world for Conde Naste Traveler, has a few thoughts to share about our naked German friends as well. Mark encountered a gaggle of them (or is that a gander) in a spa in Italy. It was a co-ed spa and there was an equal amount of fraus and herrrens tromping around without any clothing. While this didn’t appear to bother Mark, there was a social side effect that did. Apparently naked Germans don’t like to talk. They sit there in the sauna naked, not saying a word. They wander the grounds with body parts dangling, not saying a word. Other than a single danke, no one spoke to Mark at all. It was like a nudist monastery from hell.

Oh man, leave it to the Germans to take all the fun out of being naked!