World’s Largest Penis, Um, Erected

Longwan Shaman is an amusement park in north-central China. Recently, Longwan (sounds like “long one”) erected what it claims is the world’s largest penis. Made of straw and steel, the giant phallus is a monster-sized 30 feet high — and it stands on top of a 1250-foot-tall hill, meaning the head of the penis towers .2424 miles over nearby Changchun city. I don’t know if there’s any significance in that number; I just wanted to use my head.

Dubbed “Sky Pillar,” the giant wiener is — according to park officials — “a totem of Shamanistic culture, which originated in this city.” Shi Lixue, director of the China Folk Culture Association, chimed in and extended his, er, approval, by claiming that the over-sized grass pecker “symbolizes our ancestors’ pursuit of happiness and prosperity.”

No word yet on how the giant pit — just a few meters away — is coming.