Spicing up the safety Demo

There is nothing on this planet so flagrantly ignored as the safety demonstration on board an airplane. When else can you actually pick up a magazine, put on headphones, and completely tune out a person speaking to you?

And don’t think your rude behavior isn’t noticed by a haggard, overworked flight attendant either. Can you imagine just how tough it must be on their self confidence to be so thoroughly ignored by so many people on a daily basis? I’m just waiting for the day that a flight attendant slips the following comment into the middle of the safety demonstration, “The first person to raise their hand can nail me in the bathroom at 30,000 feet.” And I bet no one even hears it.

Nonetheless, flight attendants still occasionally try to spice it up a little by peppering some humor throughout their presentation. “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only eight ways to leave this airplane, so please listen as we explain the safety features.” Har har har. I’ve heard this one before and found it amusing the first time, but not so much the next couple of times.

The safety demo: Theater of the absurd? is a humorous account of some of these zingers by flight attendant James Wysong who also pokes fun at the straight lines as well. “In the unlikely event of a water landing …” he quotes, “A ‘water landing?’ Don’t you mean a “crash?”

You might want to think twice about reading this, however. Because I’d personally rather hear these jokes for the first time trapped in an airplane than spoiling them right now on the ground.