Big in Japan: Drinking breast milk and other bizarre fetishes

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, which means that a lot of people out there are searching for Mr. and Mrs. Right…

But, in this bustling modern day age of midnight deadlines and overtime-laden schedules, who has the time to put themselves out there and find true love?

Then again, for anyone keen on avoiding the trials and tribulations of the dating game, you can always take out a classified advertisement.

Although it may not be romantic, classified ads are certainly quick, easy and functional.

And, if you happen to be looking for something a bit more – how shall we say this – kinky, they’re also a great way of maintaining your anonymity.

In Tokyo, the much-loved Metropolis magazine runs what is perhaps the most famous classified ads section in Japan, especially for anyone out there with an unusual fetish.

In a special list compiled this week, Metropolis gave us all an insight into just how bizarre Tokyoites and resident foreigners can be.

Don’t believe me? Check this one out:

Breast milk wanted. British guy, 33, looking for a kind woman of any nationality, ideally under 40, who can feed a hungry boy. 100% confidential. My first time.

It gets weirder…keep on reading if you don’t believe me!

This Valentine’s Day, it seems that infidelity is in the air, especially since breaking the sacred bonds of marriage seems to be about as popular here in Tokyo as the new line of Luis Vuiton handbags.

Looking to put a bit of spice back into your married life?

Try having an affair!

Not sure where to start?

Here are some lonely people who can help you rekindle that old flame:

– Unhappily married man. Love humor, fun, relaxing, playing, thinking, sex, reading, learning, honesty, trust, really bad jokes, singing off-key. Hate vegetables, Bush, unhappiness.

– JM, married but tall, fit and very handsome, seeks woman for discreet meetings. I’m tired of marital days. Good-looking Caucasian or Asian girl preferred.

– Are you stuck at this address? If your husband doesn’t love, physically excite or listen to you, I’ll do it for him. For both of us. Lovers first.

– Fun sex friend. Seeking discreet sex friend for rendezvous in Shibuya. Ideally looking for a sex-starved married woman. I’ll bring the Viagra, you just have to bring yourself. Handsome, kind and fit American seeks married Japanese lady for nothing but good times! Remember, you only live once. So come on.

Of course, for those of us not into extra-marital affairs, there’s no shortage of strange fetishists out there looking for a special kind of love/lust this V-day season.

How strange is the dating scene in Tokyo you ask?

Let’s just say that the following classified ads certainly speak for themselves!

Kinky lady. Open-minded, uninhibited, wild, curious, humorous, good-looking, SJM, 30s, seeks female for kinky fun. Just licking and cleaning all her holes, and drinking and wearing her golden water!

Italian man, new in Kawasaki, wants chubby or quasi-fat lady to be with. Should enjoy eating. Any nationality.

(Here’s the kicker…)

A little different. 55-year-old Western businessman, into wearing diapers. Who wants to email me?

Wow – you know what? I think this Valentine’s Day, I’ll just settle for a cold beer and dinner for one at my favorite ramen noodle shop…

From all of us here at Gadling to all of you out there in cyberspace, hope you’ve found love this V-day season that doesn’t involve drinking breast milk, golden water (gross) and wearing diapers!

** All images sourced from the Wikimedia Commons Project **